Three months later.

Leeteuk sat down at his computer. He had a new desk in his room at the army base. The area behind him was white and clean, substantially bigger than his old room appeared. He waved to the camera, smiling softly.

“Hey, it’s been a long time since I’ve done one of these hasn’t it?” Leeteuk asked as he set his hand in his lap. He was wearing a white t-shirt with a blue plaid button down over it. His hair was cut shorter and bleached to a light brown. “A couple months I think. Probably more.”

Leeteuk looked down at his hands. “This is going to be a hard one, because it’s the last time I’m filming one of these.” He smiled, looking back to the camera. “I’ll start with some bad news. There are zombies. Everywhere. We managed to take back a good sized portion of Seoul. We’re fenced and walled in against the creatures. Kim-ssi is working hard on finding a cure and they’re getting better every day, but it’s a long way off he says. Meanwhile we’re living life normally, as normal as we can anyway.” Leeteuk paused, looking off to the side before smiling back at the camera. “We thought we’d lost Donghae and Eunhyuk, but they rejoined us after the mission to take back Seoul. Donghae’s parents have basically adopted Eunhyuk since he lost his family.” Leeteuk chuckled. “It makes Donghae really angry because now he has a crush and sometimes kisses his brother.” He laughed again, wiping the corner of his eye.

“Inyoung was next. Kim-ssi personally helped in finding her for me. She’s safe, here with me in the base. She treats me a little more like a mom would treat a son, but I don’t mind it. I’m happy I have her.” Leeteuk cleared his throat, trying not to cry.

“Kangin and Sora didn’t last. They stayed together for a couple weeks but couldn’t make it work. Sora never did find her parents. We’re still looking. There are safe zones all over the Republic and still more being built, it’s possible they’re out there. Communications are still up, but it’s almost like the ‘90s as far as technology is concerned.” Leeteuk smiled. “But we’re rebuilding. Kangin never really talked to anyone about his family. We’ve been closer as friends lately and he just told me last night. The reason he didn’t want to go home, the night we found out about the zombies, was because his family had already been sick and he didn’t want to see the worst in them. I don’t blame him. The memories I have of my parents still give me night terrors.” Leeteuk smiled sadly.

“Siwon couldn’t take being around us and around him anymore.” Leeteuk bit his lip. “He stayed around for about a month before he transferred to the safe zone in Busan. I tried to keep in touch with him, but I haven’t heard anything for a few weeks. I guess he’s happy to put sadness behind him and forget about everything. I won’t stop him from finding peace.”

Leeteuk teared up. “Which brings me to Heechul.” He shifted uncomfortably and tried to keep the sadness out of his face. “I still think about that night a lot. I think about what I could have changed, what we should have done differently. I know there’s nothing I can do about it now and I’m coming to terms still, with knowing that. But I still cry at night sometimes, I still dream about him.

“The soldier that killed him,” Leeteuk swallowed hard, thinking about it. “He thought,” he said softly. “That Heechul was a zombie attacking me.” Leeteuk laughed bitterly. “I can kind of see it. But he shot him, trying to get him off of me.” Letting himself cry, Leeteuk wiped his eyes and sniffled. “I didn’t realize it at the time. Too badly in shock, but the bullet got me too.” Leeteuk stood up and pulled up his shirt to show off a scar on his left hip. “I have a forever reminder of him. I don’t think I’d ever forget even without one, but sometimes I’m comforted knowing that it’s there. A permanent scar, letting me know that he’s always right here with me.” Leeteuk cried more.

“When we got him to the base, Kim-ssi was even more upset than I was. He wanted to kill the soldier and I wouldn’t have blamed him if he did.” Leeteuk wiped his cheeks, taking a deep breath. “We buried him here. It’s a small graveyard for natural deaths. I wouldn’t leave the site for a long time. I sat with him day and night, not eating. I couldn’t sleep anyway because I had dreams about him and what had happened, so I spent my time with him.

“I miss him. I miss him so badly. I still want him back. I still sometimes feel his kisses when I’m in that place between awake and asleep.” Leeteuk sighed shakily. “But I try not to focus on it. I don’t focus on him anymore. Having Inyoung and my friends around helps with that. But sometimes I find myself out there at his grave, watching over him.” Smiling, Leeteuk leaned away to blow his nose.

“Kim-ssi took care of me. Takes care of us now. It’s almost like he’s the appa Inyoung and I always wanted. I know I’m nowhere near the good son Heechul was, but I want to make him proud of me. He didn’t have to take us in, he didn’t even have to acknowledge we were alive, but he did and he takes care of us like we’re his own.” Leeteuk smiled softly.

“Life is okay. I’ll be okay. There are still really horrible days, but there are a lot more good days now. I’m happy I’m alive and I’ll take care of myself how I know Heechul would want me to, how Kim-ssi wants me to now.” Smiling, Leeteuk waved.

“So thank you for everything. For listening, for being here even when I couldn’t bring myself to you. And Heechul, if you’re out there listening too. Thank you. For everything, thank you. I love you so much.” Turning off the recording, Leeteuk moved the file into its folder and sat back, thinking about everything. He smiled to himself and stretched back.

A knock on his door had him out of his seat to answer it. Donghae smiled at him from the other side. “Come on. Don’t sit in your room all day. It’s snowball fight time.” He grinned.

Leeteuk laughed and grabbed a coat, leaving his room with his laptop still open.