"Monday night already," Leeteuk let his voice droll as he got comfortable in his chair. He was wearing a size too big black hoodie with a band logo in the right corner of his chest. The room behind him was dark and not very big, his bed pretty close in the background. He was better prepared this time with things to talk about. "Monday was like usual. Get to school, sit in the back of the class, hide under my hood when possible. I have homeroom with Sohee and Jessica. Pretty much everyone at my school breaks dress code. I guess the Principal gave up writing slips out.

"But anyway, Sohee's wearing this short skirt with lots of leg and I can't help but notice. Like I said, I think about a lot. I've got no idea what the lesson was because if I wasn't staring at Sohee's legs, there were Jessica's to look at instead." Leeteuk scratched at the top of his head and made a face. His black hair was cut with layers of fringe around his face and the back longer than the top. "I don't think normal girls get what they do to guys. But these girls know exactly what they're doing." Leeteuk chuckled.

"So first break comes along and I went to the computer lab to start homework. It's only a 20 minute break but it's easier to hide somewhere than be in the halls and in the way of some popular. I made it in safe, but Sora didn't. She came in crying. I could barely make out what she was saying, but basically she's gotten in Jessica's way and Sohee had shoved her around a bit. I told Sora she's just got to get bigger balls so those girls leave her alone. I wish I'd told her that anyway, I kind of just sat there and listened awkwardly." Leeteuk smiled weakly. "I don't really do well with people that are upset."

His phone started buzzing on the desk next to his laptop and Leeteuk paused talking to look at the text.

"Sora got my number," he said, waving his phone at the camera. "She probably stalked me through the school registry because I didn't give it to her." He smirked and set his phone aside. "Where were we? Oh yeah, first break. Luckily for me it was over quickly so I could get away from Sora. My next couple of classes are lacking any popular people, it means I can pay attention, but because they're science and math, it just drops me deeper into the nerd pool.

"Lunch comes around and our school isn't very strict with where you eat as long as you're not in a classroom. The computer lab is out of the question, so I usually end up at the back of the cafeteria alone at a table or somewhere outside if it's not too cold. It was outside today, the sky was threatening rain, but I didn't really care. I like rain. It matches the crying of my soul," Leeteuk chuckled. "Just kidding, I'm not that bad. Yet." He gave the camera another weak smile.

"Sora doesn't bother me at lunch, so I get to eat in peace. But today, Heechul walked by. Most of the time he's either left the property for lunch or he's in the parking lot avoiding people too. But in a cooler way than my avoidance. Heechul makes everything he does look cool." Leeteuk sighed before continuing.

"So he walks by with his perfectly long legs and his expertly styled hair. I can only guess how long he spends in the mirror before leaving for school. Every time he passes me though, my heart jumps. There's my best friend who I used to spend every day with, but I can't be around anymore. And what makes it worse is he doesn't even acknowledge me, he just walks by as if he can't see any of us little people. I guess being second years in high school this kind of treatment should be normal to me, but it still stings like he punched me in the face.

"It doesn't take long before he's got a crowd around him. Sohee usually leads them and Jessica brings her followers. Heechul doesn't pay much attention to them, but he gives them just enough to keep their attention on him. A random smile here, a touch of a shoulder there. It makes me sick thinking about it, they're all playing games with each other and none of them are real or sincere with each other. None of them would stand in front of a bullet for the others." Leeteuk paused to think quietly to himself. "I kind of hate that ease they have with life. Mine would be a whole lot easier if I didn't give a crap about anyone, but I feel deeply and I get attached easily. I can't break away as simply as Heechul did."

Leeteuk played with his hair a little. "After lunch my last two classes have Heechul and Kangin in them. When this year started I was a little excited when Heechul came in. I thought we might get a chance to be alone together again, maybe have group work and I could talk to him. But Kangin walked in a little later and killed those hopes. Kangin seems to be Heechul's new best friend, they're together all the time during school.

"So I sit on one side of the back of the room and Heechul sits on the other. He's pretty much always sleeping. When he's not he's drawing dirty things and passing them to Kangin. It because Heechul and I used to do those kinds of things."

Leeteuk sighed. "I've got to get over being so bitter. But I can't stop thinking about it when Heechul didn't even tell me we were done, he just decided the middle of summer break that he wasn't going to talk to me anymore and he hasn't for two years. I tried to wave to him last year and Kangin came after me, shoving me into the wall and threatening to hit me if I talked to any of the populars again.

"I don't know what to do with myself sometimes."

There was a knock on Leeteuk's door and he stopped recording to answer it. It was his mom saying lights out. He smiled. "I know eomma, I'm going. Have a good night." She smiled in return and left him to close his door.

Leeteuk checked his alarm and pulled off his hoodie to crawl into bed and call it a night.