"So, I guess I should start by telling you about myself," Leeteuk said as he looked into the webcam of his laptop. He was an awkward teenager, his body too big for his spatial intelligence, his skin spotted here and there. "This is my first time keeping a video log." He looked down awkwardly at the keyboard as if someone he liked were staring right at him. "But my doctor thinks it'll be a good thing for me. To talk out things instead of writing them down." He looked back at the camera, giving a small nod.

"My name's Leeteuk, well, my screen name anyway. I'm 15 years old, high school student. I have an older sister, but she's away at college right now. I live with my mom and dad." He looked away for a moment, forming words. "My dad and I don't really get along. We never have. He just, doesn't like me for some reason. My sister used to get in between us a lot, but now that she's not here I'm basically stuck in my room to stay out of his way." Leeteuk sighed and looked away again. "I used to have a best friend," he said to the side of his room. "He used to help me out. But high school changes people and he wasn't an exception."

Leeteuk shook his head and forced a smile as he looked back at the camera. "But anyway. I guess I'm just a normal guy. I have an internet addiction. I spend a lot of my time on social sites but I don't really have any friends on them, just people from school. I think about girls, I think about more than I think about girls." He laughed softly to himself. "I shouldn't say things like that I guess.

"So there's this girl in class, Kang Sora. She kind of attached herself to me ever since my friend left me alone. She's trying to make herself my new friend I guess. I have a feeling that with a lot of makeup she wouldn't be half bad to look at, but she's not exactly my type, drama nerd and probably in choir too. If you knew my type you'd probably stop watching this video." Leeteuk smiled. "But I'm good with computers and usually in the lab on my free time, she was in there one day too. I tried to avoid her but she couldn't help talking to me. I helped her out with formatting and now she tells me all about her life whenever we're together. I don't really know how to tell her to shut up, but I guess inside I kind of like her company. It's better than listening to nothing sometimes, or the jeering of the popular kids." Leeteuk made a face.

"Which brings me to the popular kids. There's Kim Youngwoon, he'd hit you if you called him that though. He goes by Kangin. He's one of those all muscle no brainers. He's sort of the protector of the populars. Ahn Sohee is next. Lots of guys want her and she just strings them along, making them spend all their money before leaving them in the dirt." Leeteuk clicked his tongue. "Sorry ers. Next is Jung Jessica. She moved in from America and because of that she's popular, new and all that crap. Jessica could be a nice person, but the popularity got to her head and now all she cares about is fashion and who she's seen with. The only reason I know she's been better is because she used to hang out with the geeks until the populars snatched her up."

Leeteuk was quiet for a second, looking at his keyboard. "Then there's Kim Heechul. He used to be my best friend. We grew up together, went through primary school inseparable. But high school came along and Heechul decided he didn't want to hang out with a nerd like me anymore. I can understand why he'd want to, it's not like I'd get him where he wants to be. I'm just a stupid kid with daddy problems." Leeteuk looked at the camera again. "Heechul's not really one of the popular kids. He's a step above them because he's the trouble making bad guy that they all want to be around. And there are plenty of followers at our school, too many to mention right now.

"But the point of this whole video is kind of to make a diary. Talk out what makes me so angry and why I get so sad." Leeteuk nodded with a little smile. "This is a good place to stop for now. I hope the next video is better."

He stopped recording and sat back in his chair. He could hear his dad watching TV from the other room. Going out wouldn't be an option, not that he really had anywhere to be on a Saturday night.

Leeteuk pulled up his email and wrote a quick one to his sister to tell her the updates on classes, friends and his father. He also told her he was doing the video log his psychiatrist had suggested. It was hard for him to admit that he had one, but harder to admit that he was actually doing what his doctor told him. Of course he wanted to get over his anxieties and depression but the embarrassment he felt almost made it not worth the effort. He knew his sister wouldn't give him any crap about it though.

Turning off his laptop, Leeteuk moved to crawl into bed and sleep off the boring night.