Taeyeon’s POV

 

~ It’s dark. Not the still, calming ebony of the night. No, this dark is much too ominous. It’s oppressing, the very air choking me. Each inhale becomes more and more stale, as if I’m recycling the same air over and over again. I know I’m lying down, a soft cushion supporting my body. I reach out my hands, only to lift my arms mere inches before meeting with something solid. I panic immediately, pounding my fist onto the polished wood until I feel my skin peeling back, blood oozing from the lacerations. The air feels much thinner now, my ragged breathing it all in much too quickly.

I feel my body racking with shivers, only increasing my intake of air from sheer fright..

I feel around again, searching in vain for any source of exiting or at least a beam of light to shed some intelligence on my situation.

My breathing must have slowed. How do I know? Because now I can hear it. I can hear the slow but steady breathing of another person.

“Hello?”

“Tae?”
Hyoyeon!

“Hyo?”

“Yeah Taeyeon, it’s me.”

I search in the darkness, finally able to anchor myself to her. I clasp my hand around her arm, only to shrink immediately.

Ice. Her blood as cold as ice.

“So, you really are here,” she laughs half-heartedly.

“Where’s here?” I nearly shout, no longer able to hold back my terror at these unfamiliar surroundings.

“If I tell you, you’ll scream.”
“Hyoyeon… where is here?” I ask, trepidation filling my shaking voice.

“We’re in my coffin Taeyeon. Just like me, you’ve dug your own grave.” ~

 

I bolt upright from my bed, sending several pillows to the ground in the process.

A nightmare. Just another nightmare.

I feel a bead of liquid dripping from my forehead. I swipe my bare arm across and bring the ghostly appendage to my face. The light is nearly absent save for the crepuscular glow of the full moon casting it’s beams through the singular window above my bed, but it’s clear enough to see.

Blood.

The dark liquid spills down my arm, dying the comforter in it’s sickening color.

I pull one of the fallen pillows to my face, trying to mask the bloodcurdling scream as it shot from my body.

As I scream my hot tears begin to fall, soaking into the pillow I have so tightly clenched.

What the is going on with me?

 

Tiffany’s POV

 

My eyes snap open at the click of the clock reaching for it’s next cycle of numbers.

3:00 a.m.

Every night for the past week its been the same. Sleep, nightmare, wake up, pills, sleep. Following my body’s craving for the saviors that banish away these awful visions I head to the kitchen.

The dorm is silent, my only accompaniment being the soft treading of my feet as they burrow into the carpeted floor.

I refuse to turn on the light, my muscular memory leading me down the dark corridor and into the kitchen as easily as if it were daylight perforating through the curtains instead of the dappled drops of light from the moon shining so dimly outside. With trembling hands I once again take up the bottle of pills, hidden in the second cabinet, third shelf, behind the box of cereal Seohyun bought that no one eats.

 I feel deceitful, hiding this from my sisters, but they can’t know. They can’t know how weak I’m feeling. For now, let’s just continue this masquerade, each of us putting up our defenses in our mere moments of passing. Dancing around the questions we so dearly want to ask each other, hiding the moments we want to crumble.

Why am I spouting such nonsense?

I shrug before sliding the two capsules into my throat, almost forcing them down dry in my deprived state.

Slow down Tiff. You’ll choke if you do that.

But I know why I’m suddenly feeling so anxious, even forcing down pills in hope for relief. Tomorrow’s the big day. The day we really say goodbye. This will be my second funeral in my short life. I don’t get to be like other kids. I didn’t bury an old grandparent, some distant relative who would call me sweetie and pinch my cheeks because the three syllables of my name suddenly escaped them, no, I buried my mother. And now, I get to bury my best friend.

Funny isn’t it?

It seems like every life I come in contact with suffers in some way.

I unconsciously slide another pill into my mouth.

I need to stop. These pills can’t change things.

But the pain Tiff, they make it go away. Won’t you get rid of my pain?

Another pill down before I slide the bottle back into its designated hiding place.

On the walk back to my room the anxiety returns.

Something feels wrong.

I shake the thought away and head into mine and Taeyeon’s room, only to be met with the shaking and ill minded girl concealing herself beneath the covers.

“Taeyeon!” I pull the pillow from her face, a scream bursting into my eardrums and scrambling my brain.

“Blood Tiffany! There’s blood everywhere!”

Blood?

I scan the sheets, finding only the sticky moistness of her sweat as it clings to the fabric.

“Taeyeon!”

She continues to shake, her eyes transfixed into some other world of consciousness.

“Taeyeon! Taeyeon listen to me! There’s no blood! There is not any blood on you Taeyeon!”

Her eyes widen in shock as she too begins to scan the fabric below her.

The shaking stops, her big brown eyes filled with tears and glaring at me with confusion.

“Where did… where did it go?”

She crumbles into me, her form bending into mine seeking some form of comfort.

This side of her is so strange. I’ve never seen her so… so out of it. When Taeyeon is upset or scared she hides it from me. To have her actually sitting here, crying on me, falling apart like this, it makes me happy.

Maybe I don’t have to bottle it all up. Maybe it’s okay to crumble.

I unconsciously rub her back as I muddle through my thoughts.

We stay like this for awhile. Her breathing calms, the tears dry, and eventually some sort of peace is returned to this tumultuous night. But when she eventually falls asleep she says something discomforting, something that makes it hard to return to sleep, even with these drugs flowing through my system.

“Hyoyeon… alive… don’t go.”

Now how sick is that?

To dream she is alive again, how I would love it if it were so.

Keep dreaming Tae, for when day comes, those hopes will shatter like my own.

 

Taeyeon’s POV

 

The headache that forms upon my awakening is astounding. As if this day wasn’t already going to be bad enough now my brain decides to pound like angry fists inside my skull.

I glance over at Tiffany, her sleeping form still tucked delicately under her pink comforter.

She’s sleeping like the dead today, it’s already… . I better wake her up.

“Tiffany?” I nudge her slightly. “Fany-ah?”

“Hmm, morning Tae.” She smiles, her delicate brown eyes forming into those perfectly curved crescents.

Beautiful… wait what?

“We’re running late. We need to get dressed.”

I can tell my tone is cold, my words icy and showing no signs of affection, but today isn’t exactly heart warming.

I walk over to the closet, pulling out my black dress, similar in every possible way to the ones the others will be adorning. We figured it was better this way. This isn’t some style competition. We don’t want reporters claiming that we tried to outdo one another, not today.

Hopefully we won’t see any paparazzi, especially since this is only going to be a private affair. Hyoyeon’s funeral, albeit fake as it is, isn’t some sort of publicity event. I want to show my friend as much respect as I can, she deserves that.

 

I decided that before we departed everyone should meet in the living room to discuss, you know, what’s going to happen today. The seven of us stand together, our hands clasped as they wait for me to speak.

“Okay, I know that this isn’t exactly something any of us planned for but it’s here. As always we will carry on as members of Girl’s Generation. It’s a private affair, so you don’t need to worry about what you do or say. You can laugh, you can cry, or just be silent. No one there is going to judge you. I have only one concern. If the paparazzi should somehow get near us or God forbid get into the ceremony I want you all to remain calm. We have guards, we have family, and friends who won’t let them ruin something so sacred. We’re going there today to honor Hyoyeon, so let’s do it properly.”

Normally at this sort of rallying of our spirits there would be a cheer, but I don’t think anyone here is ready for that yet. Not when two absent voices clearly won’t be heard by our still tender ears.

 

The Funeral

 

This is it. The moment I’ve been dreading every single second since it’s announcement.

It’s been one week. One week since the press conference. One week since Jessica’s suicide attempt, the first of many that is. One week since Tiffany’s incident. One week since the girls learned mine and Hyoyeon’s secret, the minor one anyway. Its been overwhelming. The pills don’t help anymore, even though I’ve been popping them like candy. I can’t sleep, the nightmares too horrifying to allow even an hours escape from this hellish reality. Eating is something that has lost it’s luster. I know I’m getting thinner, dangerously thin, but no matter how much the girls prod at me I can’t manage to get something down. Every time I imagine the vomiting, the blood pouring from Hyoyeon’s system. I know she’s alive, my brain knows it, my heart knows it, but that doesn’t stop them from remembering. They remember the pain. The pain that makes mine seem like a minor scuffed knee on the sidewalk. I’m being stupid. I’m focusing on this miniscule pain when Hyoyeon is hurting for real. A real, indescribable pain. She has no one. I have the girls, even though they still don’t quite trust me, and my family, they’re unflinching support constantly by my side. But who does she have? A crowd of doctors and nurses, their looks of pity slowly burning into her brain, changing that carefree girl into a sorry object. I haven’t even been able to make my way over to her, these stupid concerns like inviting people to this god awful display, picking out a casket to house nothing but stale air, even forcing myself into something half decent so the reporters couldn’t talk more about me. I’m sorry Hyoyeon, but it has to wait.

Funny, all these thoughts and it’s only ten in the morning.

“Taeyeon?”

“Hmmm? Oh omma.”

I climb into her embrace, finally finding someone I’m able to crumble on without feeling like an emotional weight on them.

“Rough week?” She laughs, her eyes shinning with sadness as she looks me up and down.

In case you’re wondering yes, I told her. I needed her guidance, an outside perspective on this awful mess. She has helped keep me sane, especially keeping an eye on my shrinking shoulders and waistline.

“You have no idea. Planning a funeral, even a fake one, is no joke.”

We laugh half-heartedly, our eyes glancing over the new arrivals.

“I wish we could tell them,” she mumbles, catching a glimpse of Jessica’s parents before they are surrounded by mourners.

That’s the good thing about having a personal guest list. Everyone here knows about Hyoyeon and Jessica, no lies, no secrets.

In some ways anyway.

“I know. Maybe one day, when all of this is fixed.”

“I hope you’re right Taeyeonie. I hope you’re right.”

I hear the clacking of heels behind me. I swivel around, meeting the glance of the raven haired beauty.
“Tae?”

“Yeah?”

She looks flustered, a small line of sweat forming in the crease of her eyebrows.

“Where’s Hyoyeon’s family? We’re going to start any minute and I can’t find them anywhere.”

“We sent out an invitation right?”

She nods.

This is strange. How could you be late to your own daughter’s funeral?

My thoughts are interrupted by the click as the microphone is plugged into the speaker.

“If everyone could take a seat we would like to begin the ceremony.”

I look around nervously.

Where could they be?

Maybe she just missed them. I’m sure they’re here somewhere.

“Taeyeon?”
“Ne omma?”

“I’m going to go sit with the other parents. You should join the girls up front.”

I feel my arm being dragged by Tiffany as my mother disappears around the crowd of other people searching for a spot.

I take a seat on the far edge, only Tiffany on my side as the left is only the arm of the bench.

 

“I’m glad you could all be here today. I know this is a sad occasion but instead of living the pain of today I think we should take this time to reminisce, to get things off our chest. With Hyoyeon being taken away so suddenly I’m sure there were a lot of things that went unsaid. It’s devastating, knowing you’ll never get to tell that person every wonderful thing about them. How they make you laugh, when they made you cry, being able to tell them how much they meant to you. But there’s never a better time than the present. Even though she’s gone the girls and I have decided that it would be best to take this time and leave it open to anyone who wishes to speak about Hyoyeon. Yuri, I believe you wanted to go first.”

With that introduction manager oppa gives way to the black pearl, taking the stage with her dancer like grace, a sad smile painted on her lips as she pulls out the cards she kept tucked in her bag.

“It’s funny you know. I never thought something like this would happen. Hyoyeon always seemed invincible. That was always my first impression of her. I wanted to take this time to talk about how we met, how she affected my life in such a drastic way. I even made cards, but now that I’m here, seeing such familiar faces, I don’t think I need them anymore. This isn’t something you prepare for. In this situation I think it’s best to speak from the heart.” With that statement she places her cards back in her bag. “I first met Hyoyeon long ago in our trainee days. I’m sure from how much I’ve talked about it you know what our first encounter was like. Even though I’m the same age as them those meanies made me call them unnie and told me to take my shoes off. That’s how I knew from day one that Kim Hyoyeon was mischievous. And the pranks never stopped there, eventually earning her the nickname of choding and somehow dragging me into the equation I was called kkab Yul. But we weren’t always this friendly, in fact for a while I thought Hyoyeon hated me. She saw me as competition, but that notion was short lived as it was obvious to me that her skills far surpassed mine. That’s when we really began to grow closer. She helped me, showing me the coveted skills she so naturally possessed. I was in awe of her dancing. She flowed effortlessly, every movement in time with the beat. She taught me a lot of things but the one lesson I’ll never forget is how to flow with the music. That’s all I ever aspired to do. I wanted to dance with her in front of millions. Not in some dance competition like SM Town, I didn’t want it to be like that. I just wanted us, dancing, showing the world what we worked so hard for.” She pauses, wiping the freshly fallen tears with the palms of her hands. “And now… now that’ s never going to happen. Why did you leave Hyoyeon? You promised we’d dance together.” Her sobs become more violent and it takes her a while before she can come back under control again. “Who’s going to be my buddy now? Who is going to take the blame when Yoona and I put cucumbers in Jessica’s bed? Who is going to make salty kimbap with me and make Sooyoung eat it? Who is going to dance with me? I loved you Hyoyeon. I loved every second of every minute we spent together. But you left. You left me with a thousand pieces of a broken heart that I don’t know how to put together. I miss you so much. But I know you can’t come back, not just to fulfill a bunch of silly promises.”

She descends the stage, her eyes blinded by the salty beads that can no longer hold themselves back. She resumes her seat between Sunny and Yoona, the two immediately taking her into their embrace.

I know I’m crying as well, a single drop cascading down my hand and over the fabric of this black dress.

I didn’t think it’d be this hard. I thought my thoughts of Hyoyeon would help to keep me sane. But being here, watching them crumble, hearing their sentiments of goodbye, it’s like she’s really gone.

I watch in stunned silence as Sooyoung stands to take the stage.

“Well, I didn’t think I’d be crying this early but here I am,” she laughs. “I guess like Yuri I’ll also start with how we first met. I remember it was one of my first few days as a trainee and I was still completely unfamiliar with anyone. But then I saw her, her long blonde hair was green at the time and honestly she scared the out of me. In fact I wouldn’t have approached her at all if it hadn’t been for the food. That’s right everyone, could you guess Hyoyeon and I met because of food. Her lunch looked amazing and of course I knew I had to have it. So of course I introduced myself, my ulterior motive staring me directly in the face as Hyoyeon and Jessica made small talk. It took forever but eventually the dancing queen fell to my aegyo and her lunch was mine. Every day it was the same and I suddenly realized that even though I was only there for food I was slowly becoming friends with the girls. Hyoyeon even began making an extra lunch just for me. At that moment, I knew we were going to be friends forever. Then eventually Yuri came along and we just had to mess with her. Finally Yoona showed up and our prankster gang was complete. The days I spent with Hyoyeon were some of the happiest I’ve ever spent in my life. I thought it would be like this forever. Making jokes in our eighties and embarrassing our grandkids with our childish antics. But things never work out as they’re planned. Hyoyeon always did like to go against the flow, it figures she’d do something crazy and get herself killed. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less. I can sit up here and tell as many funny stories as I want but in the end she isn’t around to hear them. I miss you Hyoyeon. I don’t think I ever won’t.”

The same cycle is repeated. Crying, a few small laughs at her childish remarks, and finally she returns to her seat, crumbling into Sunny after putting her heart on display.

Next up is Seohyun, her delicate form rattling as she ascends the stairs, taking the microphone in her shaking hand.

“I know I’ve probably said this a million times by now but I think I was closer with Hyoyeon unnie than any one of the members. Even though we joked a lot she would actually talk serious with me. She showed me the one side of her that was actually full of insecurities. Hyoyeon unnie worried about everything. Small things like if Miss A’s comeback was going well, were the Super Junior oppas spending enough time together, was DBSK doing well on variety shows.  She was silly, the smallest worries keeping her up at night. I remember one time she was awake at four in the morning, watching the rain because she knew today was the day her mother went to get groceries and she didn’t want the rain to get to her. But she also worried about big things. Things that she only really talked about when she was intoxicated. She worried about SNSD more than anything else during those times. She worried that she was bringing us down, that the group would be much more successful without her. She cried a lot. She cried after reading hate comments long after I took her phone away. She cried about losing Dancing with the Stars. Not the small way she cried on stage. No, I remember that night very clearly. She ran from the dorm, immediately headed to the next bar. She wasn’t home until four that morning and then instead of stumbling into her own room with Jessica unnie she ended up in mine. Of course she flicked my forehead and called me an uptight punk but it was different that day. Her eyes were beyond swollen and of course red from the numerous amount of tears she shed before arriving home. Hyoyeon unnie was like that unfortunately. She didn’t like to come to us with her problems. She would either bottle it up or hit the booze. Now that she’s gone, all of those nights are my biggest regret. I was hopeless. I did nothing to comfort her but instead let that pain fester inside of her. I think unknowingly we let Hyoyeon live with a lot of pain. I’m sorry unnie. I’m sorry for playing nature sounds and keeping you up at night. I’m sorry for scolding you about what you ate. I’m sorry for not ever being what you really needed. I’m sorry for being a bad maknae.”

Another one down, the endless stream of tears yet to stop flowing. But the pain is numbing now, each word only adding to the stone encasing my form. I haven’t moved, spoken, my tears silent. I must look insane to everyone else. But like I said, today we will act as we want.

“Even though I entered into the group at practically the last second each girl treated me like family. But unfortunately Hyoyeon and I were never as close as I’d have like to have been. Not until Invincible Youth 2 came around. I was beyond ecstatic for Hyoyeon. I hated the fact that Hyoyeon was so little recognized and I knew this was the perfect chance for Hyoyeon to win over the Korean fans. I couldn’t stand that she wasn’t popular among our home. I don’t think a lot of people can understand what that’s like. Being called ugly, unwanted, a horrible singer by thousands of people. Invincible Youth was just what she needed and I was glad I could be there to help. We became incredibly close from the experience. We saw each other all day during shooting, we went out together with the other girls, we even went to each other’s rooms to talk about what had happened that day and how excited we were for next week. It was possibly the most fun I’ve ever had with her. But then I was taken from the show. Even though I knew my position was never permanent I didn’t know how much I would come to miss it. I missed the long car ride to the village with Hyoyeon. I missed being an assistant to her antics. I missed laughing at the dumb things she did like her remake of Gee that caused me to laugh so hard I could barely speak for the rest of the episode. Hyoyeon always had a way of making everyone around her laugh with the fewest amount of words. Things never changed since then. We were still closer than ever before. I regret it though. I regret becoming close like this because now, now it hurts so much worse. It hurts so much I can hardly stand it. I love you Hyoyeon. And I loved every single thing we did together, even if all it was was a bunch of hard work.”

Even after all of this we’re only halfway done. I look to my omma for her support only to find her drowning in her own tears. Everyone is. The eyes of all the parents shining with tears is heartbreaking. They say one of the worst things you can see in life is your own parents crying. And here we have them all collected together.

But where are Hyoyeon’s parents?

My thoughts are shattered when another voice cuts through the air. Yoona has taken the stage.

“As mentioned earlier Sooyoung, Yuri, Hyoyeon, and I were the resident pranksters. We did stupid things like torturing Jessica with cucumbers, making salty kimbap, hiding Sunny’s Nintendo…”

“That was you?!” Sunny yells, finally allowing some laughter to permeate this gloomy atmosphere.

“Shush danshin. Now that I think of it Hyoyeon was the only danshin among us. I guess she was the only cool short kid,” Yoona laughs. “But then she had to go and get herself a girlfriend… I’m looking at you Jessica.”

Everyone laughs once again, considerably brightening the mood.

“You took away our leader girl. We could never get together a solid plan without Hyoyeon. The only good thing that came from it for the prank gang was that Hyoyeon took the blame with all the cucumber stunts we pulled on you. It was pretty nice not having to deal with HellSica. Besides her pranks the number one thing I loved about Hyoyeon was her motherly side. Man that girl could cook. As I filmed for all of my dramas Hyoyeon was the person who really kept watch over me. She made sure I got enough sleep, she took care of me when I got sick, and most importantly she packed me a lunch when I went out for shooting. It was nice. Since I didn’t really… you know, have someone like that growing up, it was strange for me. But I liked it. She was comforting like a mom. I know we say she squirms away from serious situations but when we needed her she was always there. And then there was the way she always smelled like laundry, it was soothing. Hyoyeon omma, I miss you. No one else will ever be able to make a lunch like you. I wanted to be able to say something more serious but I know you wouldn’t like that. Did I keep it light enough for you down here Hyoyeon?”

Yoona’s speech gave me some time to dry my tears before heading to the next speaker, the number ticking down before my turn. It’s just us now. Me, Tiffany, and Jessica. Get ready for the waterworks.

“During concerts it’s always a curse to be one of the last people to speak,” Tiffany laughs. “It’s like at this point, everyone else has taken the words right out of your mouth. The way you guys talked about her childish side, her antics, her pain, her motherliness, is there really that much more to say? But of course there is. You can never run out of words when discussing Kim Hyoyeon. One thing we haven’t really discussed is her relationship with my best friend, Jessica,” she smiles. “Before they were dating this Ice Princess talked about Hyoyeon non-stop. It was a little annoying to tell you the truth. Our lives at that time was like a drama. We knew they were meant for each other but actually getting one of these two to say something was a long process. Thankfully Hyoyeon finally got up the courage to confess and from that day on these two were beyond inseparable. This sounds more like a speech from a wedding rather than a funeral, but I guess I had always pictured myself doing this at the former. That’s right, we expected them to get married. I was of course planning to make it a huge occasion, lot’s of pink, Jess in the most gorgeous wedding gown money can buy, and of course her night in shining armor waiting for her at the alter with… god what do two girls wear at a wedding. We never really talked about you two being gay. It doesn’t really bother us and I don’t think it could bother anyone else here. But the fans, Hyoyeon always worried about the fans. Like Seohyun said Hyoyeon had a lot of insecurities. The fans were her biggest concern. She always worried about Jessica’s popularity. She wanted you to achieve more than anything. She even contemplated breaking up with you at one point.”

Jessica’s head had been bowed this entire time but at Tiffany’s words she straightens, her brown eyes widened with interest.

“But I talked her out of it. I know that anything the fans could do wouldn’t hurt you nearly as much as losing Hyoyeon. But she still worked hard at keeping her love secret. She didn’t hold your hand in public, she tried to sit away from you, she even refused to make eye contact. She was afraid. She was always afraid for you. I loved that about her. Hyoyeon was incredibly kind and selfless and I was so happy that you two found each other. I don’t know what to do know. It’s like there’s this empty hole in my chest that nothing can fill. There’s nightmares, so many nightmares. I hear the opening and closing of doors at night as we all wander around aimlessly. It’s sickening, the way we’ve been living. I hope that after today we can find some closure, because frankly I don’t want anymore nightmares. I want us to be happy again. But it’s going to take time. I don’t plan on ever forgetting, but I do hope to move on. I love you Hyoyeon, and I’ll never forget you.”

There’s only us left. The girl who lost the love of her life and the girl who holds all the secrets. Fun, fun, fun.

It’s a little embarrassing when none of us gets up to speak, then both of us get up at the same time only to sit back down again.

“Jess, do you want to go together?” I hold out my hand, waiting for a response from the girl who has been so silent this whole time.

She doesn’t reply but takes my hand as I lead her up to the stage.

“So this is it. The final two member’s turn to speak. Of course it would be us last. The leader and the girlfriend. As the leader I felt a lot of responsibility for all of you and the fact that I’ve let all of you down is killing me inside. As the leader I could’ve done more. I should’ve done more and…”

I feel the mic being torn from my hands.

“Taeyeon, this is not your fault. If anyone is to blame for what happened it’s me. It was me who planned that party, it was me who made her late, it was me who forced her to carry me, it was me who distracted her and it was me who she died trying to protect. If anyone should be sorry it should be me. I took away a friend, a sister, a daughter, a performer. I took away someone millions of people cared about. All she ever did was love me and cater to me and protect me and all I ever did was act selfish. She always took away my pain and I never took an ounce of hers. She cried and hurt and died because of me. I was an awful girlfriend who didn’t deserve her and never would deserve her. I took her away from all of you and all I can say now is I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

In this moment I want to do it. I could so easily end all of this. I could take that microphone in my hand, put my lips close and breathe out the words that so desperately wanted to escape. But I can’t. I can’t break our promise. So instead I pull Jessica into an embrace, the other six surrounding us and creating a pitiful display for all to see.

The rest of the affair went by smoothly enough. The parents spoke, telling of how Hyoyeon was such a good and obedient kid. How lovely her smile was and how they enjoyed having her in their daughter’s lives. F(x) talked about how she used to look after them, Amber thanking her and Sunny for their guidance on Invincible Youth, and Krystal talked about her endless adventures with the choding once her sister started dating her. Everyone seemed to have something to say whether it be a funny story or a sad anecdote. I enjoyed myself somewhat, knowing that this many people care about her only strengthening my resolve. But like all good things they must come to an end, that is, when it became Min’s turn to speak.

“Hyoyeon was my best friend, something the both of us incessantly talked about. But after becoming idols we saw each other less and less and I began missing her to the point of where it hurt. Back then I didn’t think it was possible to miss someone so much. Obciously, I was wrong. When I heard of her death I was in Miss A’s practice room, preparing for our Hush Hush comeback. I felt the air being out of me as I hit the ground, and ear splitting sound penetrating my eardrums. It turned out to be my own screeching that was coming out so violently. It was her birthday, something that hasn’t been mentioned too much. Hyoyeon died on her birthday. We were supposed to meet up that night. We were going to the club with some other JYP groups. I was beyond ecstatic to once again have some alone time with my best buddy. But it was taken from me. My best friend gone. And now I’m here. I haven’t slept, eaten, I’m almost a complete zombie since she left. I stupidly dial her number and sit in silence, hoping she’ll pick up and tell me that this is all some kind of misunderstanding. But it’s not. That body in the casket over there proving my point. In this world no one knew Hyoyeon as well as I did. No one guarded as many secrets, heard as many stories, wiped as many tears. Whenever she felt she couldn’t go to one of the members she came to me and vice versa. Standing here now, I see well where all these tears came from. I see the lives of all the people she effected. But there are three people I don’t see here today. Three people that everyone would expect to be here. But I knew all along they weren’t coming. Her omma, appa, and Mingu. They aren’t coming because Hyoyeon is not their daughter.”

What?!

“That’s right, Hyoyeon was disowned by her family because of Jessica.”

 

Min’s POV

 

I take in the look of shock on everyone’s face as I utter her name. And why shouldn’t they be shocked? Not only did she make my friend’s life miserable but in the end she is the cause of her death. I always told Hyoyeon that Jessica was no good for her. But she never listened, too blinded by her affection for that Ice Princess. I actually thought we could be friends, and we were for awhile. But then that day came, and suddenly Jessica didn’t seem like a friend after all.

“Min!” Suzy jumps from her seat. “This isn’t your right to tell people. This isn’t honoring Hyoyeon’s memory. You know she wouldn’t want you to tell anyone about this.”

“You promised her Min,” Jia comes to stop me but I brush her away.

“No, they need to hear this. They need to know why her own family refuses to come and bury their daughter!”

 

~ It’s 3:00 a.m. We’ve finally arrived home from performing Breath on the M Countdown stage and everyone is exhausted.

“Does anyone want anything to drink?” I stumble into the kitchen, snatching up a glass of water and instantly draining it.

“Can you bring me some tea?” Suzy calls from somewhere down the hallway.

“I’ll take some too,” Fei falls back on the couch, rubbing her aching legs.

“Do we have anything for sleep?” Jia comes from behind with a glass in her hand. “I feel really wired.”

“Yeah,” I pass her the bottle of sleeping pills from the cabinet. “Take two with water.”
“Gotcha.” She takes the pills and heads into the living room with Fei.

‘Knock Knock Knock’

“I’ll get it,” Suzy comes from down the hallway.

“It might be manager oppa. Maybe we left something in the car.”

“Hyoyeon unnie?”

“Hyoyeon?” I turn the corner and sure enough there she is, her blonde hair cascading over her face as one hand clenches tightly onto the doorframe.

“Hey Hyo. Did you come to congratulate us or…”

The four of us watch in silence as blood drips onto the carpet.

“Hyoyeon?” Fei asks.

The blonde attempts to lift her head only to fall seconds later.

I reach out, barely managing to scoop her up before her head meets the carpet.

“! Something must’ve happened.”

“Suzy close the door. Min bring her in here, Fei go get the first aid kit.”

Following Jia’s orders Suzy and I manage to bring the unconscious girl into the living room, placing her delicately onto the couch.

I pull a ponytail from my wrist, bringing the mass of sweat drenched hair back and out of the way.

Her face is covered in bruises and lacerations, the blood already caked into a thick layer over her skin.

“She must’ve been out there for awhile. The blood is already beginning to clot.”

“What’s that?” Suzy points in horror at the bruises over Hyoyeon’s neck.

“They’re finger shaped. This wasn’t an accident.”

“Fei, give me an ice pack,” Jia takes the pack, covering Hyoyeon’s neck in the soothing ice.

She releases a hiss, her brow furrowing and her hands clenching into fists.

I’m going to kill whoever did this.

“Min, go get a cloth and bucket of water. Her temperature is really high.”

I comply with Jia’s demands.

I hate this. All I can do is watch as Jia does her best to take care of my friend. I feel so helpless.

“She was punched.”

“Hmm. How can you tell?” I crowd around her, observing for the signs Jia so easily caught.

“There’s bruises around the cuts. Basically she was punched until her skin split open. Whoever did this really wanted to hurt her,” she sighs. “Poor Hyoyeon. No matter what I do she’s going to be in a lot of pain.”

“mph…” She stirs slightly, her face contorting as the pain ebbs over her.

“Hyoyeon-ah?”

“M-Min? Jia? Where am I?” She tries to get up but immediately falls back, clasping her hand to her head. “Aish!”

“Go easy Hyoyeon. Do you want some pills?”

“Ne.”

“Min?”

“Yeah I’ve got it.”

Seconds later I come back with the pills and a glass of water. “Here,” I tip up the glass, helping her to get them down.

“Thanks Min-ah.” She feels across her face, her fingers dancing over the bandages on her face. “So that wasn’t just a nightmare,” she laughs.

“Hyo, what happened?”

“My dad..” she breathes, “I told him about Jessica and I. As you can see he didn’t really like it,” she laughs, hot tears falling from her eyes.

“He-he did this to you?” I grab her hand, grazing a finger across every individual scrape.

What kind of father would do this to their child?

“I’m going to kick his !” I head for the door, keys in hand before I feel a hand enclosing my wrist.

“Don’t Min. This is my problem.”
“The it is Hyoyeon. No one is going to do this to my friend and get away with it.”

“Min,” she pulls me into a hug. “Please don’t go. I came here because I need you. I need someone to tell me I’m not a monster.”

“Hyo,” I pull her close, my hand rubbing up and down her bruised back. “Did he say that to you?”

“Y-Yeah,” she sobs. “He said a lot of things that aren’t easily going to be leaving my brain. Just please, I need a friend tonight.” ~

“Do you know what that was like? To see my best friend enter our dorm every day for a week, her body beaten and bruised, crying her eyes out until eventually I wouldn’t let her go back anymore. Every day that week she returned to that house, begging for her parent's blessing that never came. She was disowned. She hasn’t seen her family in three years all because her father called her a disgusting who doesn’t deserve to live. They blocked her number and moved without telling her where they were going. That’s why they aren’t here. They don’t care that their only daughter died trying to save her girlfriend. They don’t care about her.”

 

No One’s POV

 

The entire assembly was in an uproar. The members of Miss A finally able to drag Min off the stage before she could say anymore. Jessica was hyperventilating, the other members trying desperately to soothe her. It took a near half hour before everyone could return to their seats and the ceremony could continue, the air still reeking of disgust towards Hyoyeon’s parents. 

 

 

Miss me? I guess you could say I've been busy lately. Things have been dark on my side lately so you'll have to forgive my absence. If anything I'll consider my recent experiences fuel for all of this angst. I had originally planned this as only one part but if I had done so this update would be over fifty pages long and I didn't want to keep you in suspense much longer. As always subscribe, fantasize, criticize, romanticize, and anticipate my next update. Until next time ~AfterSNSD