Calmness

The Secrets of the Mind

 

“I thought you would have left sooner.”

“And whose fault is that?”

“Are you really blaming me?”

“Who else am I going to blame? But you’re not the only one. You’re half of the reason.”

Sehun glanced at the other male who was quietly sitting next to the bed.

Kyungjin giggled. “I guess you were worried.”

Sehun tsked. “Who said I was worried?” he muttered. “I just didn’t want to leave when you two hadn’t figured things out yet. And you have, yeah?”

He looked at Minseok pointedly, and Minseok merely gave him a blank look instead.

Sehun sighed in frustration and ran his fingers in his hair.

“Don’t worry. We have.”

Sehun stopped and glanced at Minseok. They stared at each other, gazing into each other eyes for a long second.

“Um, I hate to interrupt this beautiful moment,” Kyungjin interrupted. The two boys broke their gaze and looked at the girl. “But Minseok’s mine. You can’t have him.”

Sehun scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Why would I even take a liking to a guy like him? He stresses me out more than I like.”

But he smirked. “But I get it now. Don’t mess this up. If you do, I’ll come and personally beat you up.”

Minseok grinned slightly. “I don’t plan on it.”

Sehun nodded solemnly and turned his attention onto Kyungjin. “But you. Are you sure about this?”

Kyungjin nodded and smiled. “I…I want this. Mom has also given her blessing. Even if there are risks, I am willing to take them. I’m tired of pretending everything’s ok. If I want to change, I need to take the first step.”

“This is a pretty drastic ‘first step’, but I guess I understand. I’m just sorry I can’t be here when it happens.”

Kyungjin smiled at him kindly. “It’s fine. The fact that you came to see me before you left means a lot to me. Plus, Minseok’s here with me.”

“I said I was sorry already. Are you really holding a grudge about that?”

“Forever and always,” she teased, sticking her tongue out. “I expect a lot of souvenirs the next time you come back.”

Sehun rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I understand.” He paused. “I will get something for the happy couple.”

He nodded and looked at them both. “Now I really need to get going. There is only one bus running, and I need to catch it before it leaves.”

“Have a safe trip, Sehun. I hope everything works out for you.”

He looked at Kyungjin, a soft look in his eyes. “Thanks. You’ll get out of this fine. You’re one of the toughest person I know. Plus, with this guy next to you, you’ll be fine.”

Kyungjin grinned. “Yeah, I’m pretty lucky.”

Sehun snorted. “Spare me the cringeworthy romance.”

He turned around, holding up his hand. “Goodbye, you idiot couple.”

“Bye, Sehun!” Kyungjin called out.

Minseok stared at the retreating back and stood up. “I’ll be right back.”

Kyungjin smiled. “Of course. Do want you need to do.”

 

“Sehun.”

The young male stopped and turned around. “What?”

Minseok stared at him. “I just want to thank you.”

The boy rolled his eyes. “I don’t want your thanks. Just live well with Kyungjin and that’ll be good enough for me.”

“Still,” Minseok quietly insisted. “I appreciate it.”

“Didn’t know you were capable of that.”

Minseok smiled. “I’m sorry as well.”

“For what?”

Minseok stared at him, his eyes tinged with a small hint of sadness. “You know why. But I assure you, I will be there for Kyungjin no matter what.”

Sehun blinked. “That’s good to hear. I’m glad it’s you Minseok. And that’s the truth. If you believe in me, that is.”

Minseok blinked and slowly smiled. “I believe in you.”

“You're just saying that just because.”

Minseok shook his head, gazing at Sehun with a seriousness in his eyes. “I believe you, Sehun. Trust me.”

Sehun rolled his eyes. “It was a joke. I was ing joking.”

Minseok smiled. “I know. But that doesn’t change anything. I believe you. Even if you don’t.”

Sehun didn’t say anything, only letting out a defeated sigh that turned into a laugh.

“I can see why Kyungjin can’t win against you. Thanks, Minseok.”

Minseok blinked, letting the edges of his lips curl up. “That’s the first time you said my name.”

Sehun froze and looked away then laughed. “Yeah, I guess it is, isn’t it?” He looked at Minseok. “I told you before, but you’re alright. If it was anyone else, I would have done something.”

Minseok merely smiled gently which was all Sehun really needed. 

 

He watched as the male made his way back to the room. He spun around and walked out the hospital.

He felt the sun rays warm his body, making him shiver from the sudden contrast of temperature from the cold of the hospital.

“Our Sehun has finally become a mature adult.”

Sehun stopped and glared to his right at the male who was patiently sitting on a nearby bench.

“I don’t need your ing lectures right now.”

“I’m not lecturing you. I’m consoling you.”

“It doesn’t sound like it.”

“It’s the truth, Sehun. Your best friend here will make sure everything is all right.”

Sehun rolled his eyes. “Since when we were best friends?”

Jongin gasped and put his hand over his heart. “I am hurt, Sehun. After all I’ve done for you? This is how you treat me?”

Sehun sighed. “If you’re here to joke around, I’m not in the mood.”

Jongin put his arm done and gave his friend a strong pat on the back. “You did well.”

Sehun let a stark laugh. “You really think so? You don’t think they noticed, do you?”

Jongin shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t think Kyungjin noticed, but Minseok probably did. The boy notices everything and anything. But he’s not the type to say anything about it.”

Sehun stared at the ground. “It’s not like I deserve her anyways. She’s happier with him. Everybody knows it. I know it.”

“And that’s why I said you did well. You finally put somebody’s feelings in front of yours.”

Sehun laughed with little humor. “But it’s sad that it took so long to do so. And that it was partly because of the person who I disliked a lot that helped me realize it.”

“You still dislike him?”

Sehun shook his head. “Nah. Not for a while. Remember? I always thought he was odd, but he’s a good guy. He does say some things that irritates me, but it’s not like he means any harm. He’s kinda hard to deal with though. Makes you confront you don’t want to think about. But it’s for your own benefit, you know?”

Jongin grinned. “Oh, I know. I saw it so many times with my own eyes. I like him.”

“You like everyone and anything that causes entertainment for you.”

“Touché.” Jongin paused. “Did you really think you had a chance?”

Sehun growled and shot a glare at Jongin. “You don’t need to tell me that.” He sighed and glanced back at the hospital.

“No matter what, she will always hold a place in my heart. Even if it takes a while for it to become a smaller part.”

Jongin smiled and put his arm around his friend’s shoulders. “Now, shall this awesome friend see you off?”

Sehun shrugged his arm off and scowled. “Don’t need it.”

“Too bad, cause I’m still am.”

Sehun snorted and looked down. “Thanks, Jongin,” he muttered under his breath.

He started walking, leaving Jongin befuddled.

Jongin grinned and ran after him. “Wait! Say that again!”

Sehun only walked a little bit faster, a small smile on his lips.

 

Her room was littered with gifts, cards, and balloons. It was to a point where Minseok couldn’t see Kyungjin when he walked into the room.

“Was this really necessary?” he asked, pushing a balloon aside.

She giggled. “I think it’s nice. It just shows that there are a lot of people who believe in me. I can’t disappoint them now, can I?”

Minseok sighed, sitting down. He absently grabbed her hand, stoking his thumb against the top of her hand. It had become a habit that he didn’t realize that he was doing it. And it wasn’t as if Kyungjin was going to tell him to stop.

“You’re worried.”

Minseok looked up at her smiling at him.

“How can I not? And how can you not?”

She looked at the window, a serene smile gracing her lips.

“I don’t know, but I feel so much at peace. Like everything will be alright. Even though there are so many obstacles facing me, I feel like it’ll fine.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I’m not.” She closed her eyes. “But there are people who are supporting me. Like Kyungsoo, who despite his annoyance at me is always kind to me in his roundabout way. Or Lina, who never fails to treat me so nicely. Yixing, who’s been a similar situation. My mom, who supports me no matter what. Jongdae, who worries over me like another mother. Jongin, who tries his best to make everyone happy and lives for drama. Sehun, who I finally made up with.”

She opened her eyes, looking directly at Minseok. “And there’s you. The person who’s always there for me. The person who accepts every part of me. The person who’s struggling in his own way. Who is a little awkward and a little aloof. And someone who I love so much.”

Minseok smiled softly and she returned the same action.

There was a soft knock and Kyungjin’s mother opened the door.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

Kyungjin smiled. “I’m fine. I’m ready whenever they are.”

Her mother nodded slowly. “The doctor said they’ll be here to take you in five minutes.” She glanced at Minseok who only nodded back.

“I’ll leave you until then.”

“Mom.”

She stopped and looked at her daughter.

Giving her a brilliant smile, she said, “Thank you for everything.”

Her mother paused, a small smile quivering on her lips. She nodded as if the words could not come out of . She closed the door with a soft click.

Kyungjin took a deep breath. “This is it, then.”

She looked at Minseok. “Wish me luck?”

Minseok looked solemnly at her, a stony look on his face.

She tilted her head. “Minseok?” she questioned softly, a furrowed look on her eyes.

He looked at her, taking her hands into his.

“Kyungjin.”

“Yes?”

He shook his head. “I just wanted to say your name.”

She laughed, letting her top of her head knock against his softly. “It’ll be fine.”

Minseok didn’t say anything.

“Kyungjin,” he repeated.

“What?” she laughed.

“After all of this. No matter what…” he paused and pulled back, looking straight into her eyes.

She waited for him to speak.

He took a deep breath. “After all this, will you allow me to be with you?’

She looked at him oddly, a half smile on her face. “What? Of course. I never planned on telling you not.”

He shook his head. “Perhaps I worded this wrong. Will you let me stay by your side for the rest of our lives?”

Her eyes widened. “Minseok, what are you saying?”

He blinked and mused on her thoughts. “I suppose I need to be more straight-forward or else you’ll keep second guessing yourself.”

He smiled. “Kyungjin, will you marry me?”

She froze, dumbfounded by his words. After a split second, she shook herself out of her shock.

She let out a small gasp and laughed. "God, that was literally the longest proposal I have ever heard." She laughed until tears formed in her eyes.

“Of course. Of course, I will.”

Minseok smiled and put his hands her cheeks, wiping her tears with his thumbs. She giggled at his touch.

And they leaned in, kissing each other with such tenderness that it spoke the words they never needed to say.

 


A/N: One more.

 

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Comments

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XiuminsKnuts
#1
Chapter 20: Mmm could Chanyeol also hear thoughts or was hin saying monster a reference to him manipulating. The whole layer to his thoughts makes me think he was well aware of true thoughts and hiding them
Baembi
#2
Chapter 30: How could I not have read this before T_T This is literally one of the best Xiumin fics! Aww I wish the surgery will be successful..
MiniMe004
#3
Chapter 30: ....... and she'll die ...... No, I hope everything will end up fine
anitaklr24
#4
Chapter 30: I love it! hope everything is fine!
Have a nice night/ day!
Hugs ^^,
anitaklr24
#5
Chapter 29: I really like it! they are so cute together. Hope the best to Kyungjin!
Have a nice night / day!
Hugs ^^,
ReadTheGems #6
Chapter 29: Your story is so thoughtful and relevant to me. It make me curious as to what life has thrown at you and how you have dealt with it. I am glad to know that there is a person such as yourself out there. Thank you.
Now off to look at any other stories written by you.
k_nana #7
Chapter 29: You know, i didn't even know about the story until i scrolled over xiumin's list of fics and stumbled upon this one n i was damn glad i did. This story means a lot to me because in a way, his character is related to mine a bit in dealing strangers so throughout a series of ur updates, i learnt a lot from ur character of xiumin and for that, thank u, even though ur not expecting this. I will be sad when i finish reading ur fic, but then again, i can just reread it again and again if i want too. Thanks for writing this wonderful fic :)
anitaklr24
#8
Chapter 28: Beautiful chapter! I have a great time reading it! Hugs ^^,
anitaklr24
#9
Chapter 27: Great chapter! Finally they are together!!!I am so happy with this chapter!
Hugs ^^,
anitaklr24
#10
Chapter 26: I don't know why but I cried a little in this chapter. Sometimes, we are like Minseok who put a lot of expectations in Chanyeol without thinking that Chanyeol was a human like him, who makes mistakes.
I am looking forward to the next chapter!
Hugs ^^,