Feelings

The Secrets of the Mind

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, Misneok was bored. This week, Kyungjin had a series of tests that had to performed on her. So it was agreed that it was better for Minseok to skip this week’s visit. Kyungjin was extremely upset that she complained and fussed to the doctors to let Minseok at least see her at the hospital. They didn’t even need to leave the room. But the Dr. Soo was adamant about not letting any visitors in except for her mother. 

Minseok did not gripe about the situation like Kyungjin, but he had to admit that he was slightly, oh very slightly, disappointed. But in the end, he managed to convince Kyungjin that he would visit her the day that ban was lifted which appeased for the moment.

But now that it was said and done, Minseok realized how much Kyungjin made his life a bit interesting every week. Perhaps he took it granted, but he figured that it wasn’t too much to miss.

But it still remains the fact that he was bored. It was odd enough that he was bored but odder enough that he couldn’t think of anything to do. Even he didn’t want to go people listening because one, he could only hear what they were saying until they spoke and people here hardly spoke out loud to themselves and two, they were mostly thinking about normal mundane things which was something he appreciated but it wouldn’t satisfy his interest. Surfing the web did not come up with any up interesting and he had finished the book he had bought from the local bookstore.

The bookstore. Now, there was an idea. He hadn’t been there in a while with all that has been going on with Kyungjin. And since he had a day off, he might as well so something he liked. So, the bookstore it is.

 

The twinkle of the silver bells attached the swinging door caused Jongin to look up from the book he was reading at the counter as he sat on a stool. “Ah, hello,” he said with a nod once he recognized the customer who walked in.

He gave Minseok a pleasant smile. “Did you find your book from last time enjoyable?”

Minseok nodded briefly.

Jongin gave another smile, his eyes twinkling with serenity. He gestured to the bookcases in front of him. “Then please, browse through your heart’s content.”

Minseok didn’t need to be told twice as he ventured deeper into store, the smell of books lingering in the air.

Not a few minutes later, the telltale sound of silver bells indicated the arrival of a customer, or in this case, a friend.

“Jongin!” the voice sobbed out dramatically as he threw his upper body onto the counter. “Jongin! The worst I feared has arrived.”

The younger boy looked at his friend in surprise of his dramatic entrance. “Jongdae, calm down. Tell me what happened.”

“This!” he shouted out with anguish, pulling an envelope from his pocket and throwing it directly at his friend’s amused face which hit Jongin square between the eyes before falling neatly into his lap.

Jongin looked down at the envelope briefly before settling his eyes back on his friend who was still sprawled in front of him, fake-sobbing.

“Oh, no. A letter. It’s going to kill us all. What are we going to do?” Jongin replied in a sarcastic monotone voice.

Jongdae pushed himself off the counter with his arm and pointed angrily at his friend. “Don’t give that attitude. Did you even see who it’s from? Did you?” he shouted, his face with a frustrated expression.

Jongjin delicately picked the envelope off his lap with his thumb and index finger and observed it closely before grabbing it and slapping Jongdae with it.

Jongdae put his hand on his stinging cheek and gave his friend a shocked face while Jongin nodded in understanding at the object in hand. “Ah, now I can see why it’s so scary now. You can hurt people with it.”

Jongdae narrowed his eyes at Jongin and grabbed the letter from Jongin’s fingers. He slammed the letter down in front of his friend, pointing it with his other hand’s index finger. “Look at who it’s from, damn it. It’s that brat. I explicitly told him not to send me anything.”

Jongin put on his reading glasses and picked it up to read. “Oh, it’s from Sehun.”

“That’s right. That freaking brat who I thought told to never ever contact me for as long as I live. I don’t even want him to go to my wedding or my funeral.”

“Wow, I knew you hated him, but I didn’t know you hated him that much,” Jongin mused.

“I used to dislike someone more than him, but after reevaluating it, I’ve decided that Oh Sehun is indeed the person I dislike the most,” Jongdae revealed.

“I see,” Jongin said as he nodded. He paused and looked up at the seething boy. “Wait, there’s was someone who you hated more than Sehun? He must be quite the person if you considered him as worse than Sehun.”

Jongdae looked exasperatedly at his friend. “I said that I used to. Not anymore.” He clicked his tongue in embarrassment and mumbled, “Kim Minseok.”

Jongin gave him a blank look.

Jongdae sighed. “That guy that always hangs out with Kyungjin.”

Another blank look.

“The guy who moved here a few months ago? He came here before, remember? Bought a book.”

Jongjin remained silent, looking at the ceiling, trying to remember. “Ah, the one who bought The Solitaire Mystery,” he let out in recognition.  

“Do you only remember people by the books they buy? But you remember?” Jongdae snorted, rolling his eyes.

Jongin nodded slowly. “Right, him,” he said, pointing at Jongdae.

Jongdae followed his pointed finger and frowned. “Why are pointing at me?”

Jongin shook his head. “Not at you, behind you.”

Jongdae shifted his head slowly and glanced behind himself. He let out a little shriek and ran around the counter to hide behind Jongin, startled at the person standing behind him who had an unimpressed expression.

Peeking over Jongin’s shoulder, who was giving Jongdae an amused look, Jongdae mumbled, “How long were you there?”

Minseok shrugged. “Not long. But I did hear everything you said.”

Minseok was in the back of the shop when Jongdae came bounding in, but in Minseok’s line of vision, he could clearly see the two other boy’s actions. He wasn’t interested at first, merely thinking that Jongdae was indeed a loud person, until the name Sehun came up. His ears perked up unintentionally, as Minseok casually glanced up from the book he was holding, to listen to their conversation a bit closely. But when his own name came up, he was already out in the open standing behind Jongdae who had yet to realize his presence.

Jongdae, who was still cowering behind Jongin, mumbled, “No hard feelings, man. You’re definitely better than Sehun.”

“Oh?” Minseok voiced, not even giving him a look, focusing on paying for his newly found book.

“Sure,” Jongdae said, regaining his composure after his initial shock, coming out from behind Jongin.  He leaned on his elbow as he gazed at Minseok with a smirk. “Sehun is brat who almost killed me. You haven’t.”

“How simple,” Jongin murmured under his breath. “Makes me wonder if there really anything in that head of yours.”

Jongdae, however, heard his friend’s little snarky remark and proceeded to put him a playful chokehold.

Minseok watched their play-fight and spoke up. “You mean how he fed you something dangerous?”

Jongdae stopped trying to choke his friend, looking up at Minseok in surprise. “Yeah, how’d you know?”

Minseok shrugged.

Jongin, who was struggling and clawing against Jongdae’s hold, broke free when Jongdae paused to speak. He coughed loudly and cleared his throat. “Kyungjin probably told him,” he gasped out.

Jongdae frowned out at his friend’s dramatics. “Stop pretending like it hurts. I barely touched you.”

“Says you!” the boy snapped. He rubbed his throat. “Sometimes I wonder why you’re my friend.”

“He’s right,” Minseok revealed, bringing the other two boy’s attention back to him. “Kyungjin told me.” He paused and looked at Jongdae. “I’m simply wondering, but what exactly did he feed you?”

Jongdae shuddered at the memory. “Some horrible concoction. All I remember that it was black and junky and I swear something in that mess moved.”

“Why did you even eat it in the first place?” Jongin questioned. “Even I’m sure that you aren’t that idiotic to eat something like that.”

Jongdae glared at his friend and made a disgusted face. “Sehun and I made a bet on who Kyungjin liked more, and she said she liked Sehun better.” He threw his hands down on the counter in an outrage. “The horror! She likes him better than me! Can you imagine?”

“Oh, I can. I definitely can,” Jongjin remarked back.

Minseok looked from Jongdae who was staring at his friend as if he wanted to strangle him again and to Jongin who had a bright smile on his face as if he enjoyed his friend’s suffering. “I heard that not a lot of people liked Sehun; is that true?”

“Yes,” Jongdae shot back immediately, his eyes now focused on Minseok but not entirely on him as if he was remembering the said person.

Jongin gave his friend a warning look and looked at Minseok. “It’s true that Sehun caused some trouble,” he began.

“A lot,” Jongdae interrupted with a hiss.

Jongin rolled his eyes. “A lot of trouble, but he had a good personality. You may have not liked what he did, but you couldn’t help but to like him as a person. He had that kind of personality.”

“But he left,” Minseok stated.

Jongin blinked at him and shrugged. “Well, sure. Sehun couldn’t stay here. It wasn’t a grand enough of a place for him. He had the entire notion to leave this town as soon as possible. There was nothing that could deter him. Well, maybe except for one thing.”

“That’s the first I’ve heard,” mused Jongdae. “What was keeping him here?”

“Kyungjin,” breathed Minseok.

Jongin blinked at him again with a interested expression. “That’s right. He didn’t want to leave Kyungjin.”

“What?!” Jongdae yelled, jumping up from his position. “That brat left Kyungjin without a single good-bye, and you’re telling me that he didn’t want to leave her?”

“Yes, do explain,” Minseok added.

Jongjin looked up, trying to recall the past. “Mmm, as you know, I was a good friend of Sehun. He confided to me things that he probably wouldn’t to others. He always wanted to leave ever since he was little, and he always expected that Kyungjin would leave with him as well. But when she became sick, he realized that wasn’t going to be possible anymore.”

“You mean he wanted to leave with her?” Jongdae asked, miffed. “He actually wanted to take her with him?”

Jongin nodded. “Yes. He didn’t want to leave her, but he wanted to leave town even more. He even asked her to. Go traveling with him for a while, but…”

“She refused. Said she wanted to spend her last days here instead of out there,” Minseok finished.

“That’s right,” Jongin replied, but then he frowned. “But you didn’t know that?” he asked Jongdae.

Jongdae shook his head. “All I knew was that he left so suddenly and unexpectedly that even Kyungjin didn’t know he left when he did. And after that Kyungjin became so dejected, even I didn’t know what to do. Thankfully, she regained back to her old self, but there are times where I feel like she’s going to break apart.”

“Hmmm,” Jongin mused as he picked up the letter. “They were always in their own separate world that we weren’t able to enter. They had a special relationship.” He looked up at Jongdae. “By the way, what did he write?”

A peeved look over came Jongdae as he growled, “Just asked how I’ve been, you know, the good ‘ol pleasantries. And that he was coming back.”

“What?” echoed both Jongin and Minseok.

“He’s coming back? He always vowed he wouldn’t set foot back in this town unless he really had to,” cried Jongin in disbelief.

“Ah, but from what you told me, it seems that there was something he left behind,” Jongdae replied grimly.

Jongin calmed down from his shock and nodded. “Still, after all these years.”

Minseok frowned slightly at the news. How come Kyungjin didn’t tell him he was coming back? Did Sehun not tell her in his letter? Or had she simply missed his message? Was she hiding that fact from him? He shook his head. No, she would have told him or at least he would have heard her think it.

But the fact that her best friend was coming back, Minseok didn’t know how Kyungjin would take this news.

“Kyungjin would be happy, wouldn’t she?” Jongin piped up. “I mean, those two were like glue.”

Jongdae nodded. “I think so too.”

Minseok glanced at them both before looking at the ground. He didn’t think so. Kyungjin might have once wished for him to come back, but he felt like after waiting so long, she had given up on him coming back. He was afraid that this would come as a huge shock to her after all these years of waiting for something more from him. But he also felt like it was something he didn’t fully understand. The pain of missing someone, waiting for them. And the more he thought of Sehun coming back, the more he felt like he didn’t like it. As if he felt slightly annoyed at the boy who left her. He paused and realized his uncommon perturbed emotions. He wondered what they called this.

The shop’s door opened and a head peeked in. The three of them turned to look at who it was.

Kyungjin rapidly twitched her head side to side, obviously looking for something or someone. “Hey Jongin. Have you seen…” she started to say, not looking at the person she was talking to until the last minute.

Her eyes brightened up as she saw all three at the counter. “Oh! Minseok! There you are! I was looking for you!”

She swung open the door with a large gesture and skipped over to them. “I was looking all over for you. You weren’t at home or at Kyungsoo’s pet store or with Kris’ restaurant. And I knew you always liked books, so I thought maybe you were here. And look! I was right. Aren’t I awesome?” she said in rapidly and with one breath.  

Minseok blinked at her. “Aren’t you supposed to be at the hospital?”

She grinned and held up a peace sign. “Tests are all done! Dr. Soo didn’t allow me to leave, but I snuck out cause I wanted to see you.”

Minseok frowned, “You should go back.”

Jongdae pushed Minseok to the side. “Kyungjin! You left the hospital without permission? You need to go back. Now!”

Kyungjin waved a hand at her cousin. “Oh, don’t be such a spoilsport. It was utterly boring just doing nothing. I don’t know I managed before I met Minseok.” She peeked behind her cousin and at Minseok. “I’ve been spoiled by you, yes I have.”

Jongdae lightly grabbed onto her shoulders and maneuvered her out of the shop. “We’re leaving. Say your good-byes.”

“But Jongdae…”

“Now.”

She sighed and waved at the Jongin and Minseok. “See you guys later. And Minseok? Because we missed this week, you’ll have to visit me twice next week, ok? No buts.”

Minseok stared at her before nodding a confirmation.

She abruptly stopped at stared at Minseok in bewilderment.

Jongdae, a bit surprised at her sudden stop, asked, “What’s wrong?”

She pointed at Minseok and gasped loudly. “He agreed to my terms! The world’s going to end!”

Jongdae rolled his eyes as he pushed her out of the room. “I’m going to end your world if you don’t go back to hospital right this minute!”

She lightly patted his back. “Geez, when did you start becoming an old hag? Oh, wait, I remember. You always have been!”

“Kyungjin!”

They left the shop, still squabbling like children before Minseok could no longer hear their voices.

“She doesn’t know, does she?”

Minseok looked at Jongin who was now perched his chin on the palm of his hand which was propped up against the counter. He turned to look at the door where they had left. “No.”

“Are you going to tell her?” Jongin asked with a raised eyebrow.

Minseok remained silent.

“Well, I’m not telling you what to do. But remember that you have more of an impact on her than you think.”

Minseok glanced at Jongin and nodded as he too left the shop.

Jongin watched him leave and grinned. “Look like there’s finally going to be something interesting happen in this town. Kyungjin and Sehun might have a relationship that nobody could break before, but it’s been so long and with Minseok around…” He chuckled, “Sorry, Sehun, but I’m rooting for Minseok.”

 


A/N: Wow, I’m sorry guys for taking so long. Things just got a little hectic and I sort of lost a bit of my motivation to write anything. I just got back to school, and I’m already so busy. Boo.

On the other hand, we have a little more on the relationship with Sehun and Kyungjin, though not too much, and Minseok's feeling a little annoyed (it’s called jealousy, Minseok). I have a feeling that Sehun will be making his appearance soon.

 The Solitaire Mystery is one of my favorite books, by the way. It’s by the same person who wrote Sophie’s World if you read that. They’re philosophical fantasy books. Quite interesting books to read. Sophie’s World is more of a hefty read than The Solitaire Mystery, but they're both good reads, at least to me.

Thanks to everyone who is still reading this story. And I’m sorry if I take too long once again. But thanks for reading!

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Comments

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XiuminsKnuts
#1
Chapter 20: Mmm could Chanyeol also hear thoughts or was hin saying monster a reference to him manipulating. The whole layer to his thoughts makes me think he was well aware of true thoughts and hiding them
Baembi
#2
Chapter 30: How could I not have read this before T_T This is literally one of the best Xiumin fics! Aww I wish the surgery will be successful..
MiniMe004
#3
Chapter 30: ....... and she'll die ...... No, I hope everything will end up fine
anitaklr24
#4
Chapter 30: I love it! hope everything is fine!
Have a nice night/ day!
Hugs ^^,
anitaklr24
#5
Chapter 29: I really like it! they are so cute together. Hope the best to Kyungjin!
Have a nice night / day!
Hugs ^^,
ReadTheGems #6
Chapter 29: Your story is so thoughtful and relevant to me. It make me curious as to what life has thrown at you and how you have dealt with it. I am glad to know that there is a person such as yourself out there. Thank you.
Now off to look at any other stories written by you.
k_nana #7
Chapter 29: You know, i didn't even know about the story until i scrolled over xiumin's list of fics and stumbled upon this one n i was damn glad i did. This story means a lot to me because in a way, his character is related to mine a bit in dealing strangers so throughout a series of ur updates, i learnt a lot from ur character of xiumin and for that, thank u, even though ur not expecting this. I will be sad when i finish reading ur fic, but then again, i can just reread it again and again if i want too. Thanks for writing this wonderful fic :)
anitaklr24
#8
Chapter 28: Beautiful chapter! I have a great time reading it! Hugs ^^,
anitaklr24
#9
Chapter 27: Great chapter! Finally they are together!!!I am so happy with this chapter!
Hugs ^^,
anitaklr24
#10
Chapter 26: I don't know why but I cried a little in this chapter. Sometimes, we are like Minseok who put a lot of expectations in Chanyeol without thinking that Chanyeol was a human like him, who makes mistakes.
I am looking forward to the next chapter!
Hugs ^^,