Kyungjin was giddy with excitement.

The doctor had told her that she was getting better.

And that was something to celebrate.

She didn’t tell Minseok, but lately on their excursions, she was getting tired more easily.

It wasn’t that they did anything exerting, but she was getting tired from simply walking long distances.

But she didn’t tell Minseok. She couldn’t.

She knew that he would disapprove of their weekly outdoors meetings if he knew, and she didn’t want that.

But she was going to tell him today when he comes that she is on the slow path of recovery.

She giggled at the thought of it though. Despite Minseok’s standoffish behavior, she knew that he was actually kind inside. Even though he would deny it profusely.

Her smile became a frown when she continued to think about Minseok.

His behavior before unnerved her slightly. She knew that Minseok was harboring something deep, but she never thought that he hated himself to the extent that he would call himself a monster. Someone not worth living for.

And for so long as well. She couldn’t begin to imagine the self-hatred he put himself through.

But then again, Minseok simply shut himself from the world and believed that there was no trust to be put in society and its people.

It was almost as a self defense mechanism.

But there are over 300 million people in this world. There is bound to be someone out there who could restore his faith. He just had to looker closer.

And she secretly hoped that it would be her.

A slight blush warmed Kyungjin’s cheeks as she shook her thoughts out of her head.

That doesn’t matter now.

What matters now is that Minseok is coming today, and they were going to celebrate.

She heard the door open, and she laughed as she threw her pillow at the incoming visitor.

“You’re late!” she cried in laughter.

The young man caught the pillow single handedly with a confused and slightly smirking face.

“I didn’t know I had a time limit to come visit you,” he replied with a chuckle as he chucked the pillow lightly back to her.

She caught it easily and tucked it between her as she frowned softly.

“Jongdae, what are you doing here?”

Her cousin raised an eyebrow. “What? I can’t visit my cousin whenever I want? You know that family has the privilege of invading your room whenever they want, right?”

She laughed. “You know what I mean. I wasn’t expecting you. I was expecting Minseok!”

Jongdae’s expression turned somber at the sound of Minseok’s name.

Kyungjin caught it and frowned in response.

“What’s wrong?” she asked worriedly.

 Jongdae shook his head as he tried to think of a better way to let Kyungjin know.

After a moment, he sighed. “Minseok asked to me to relay something to you.”

“What is it?”

“He…Minseok…" He faltered, playing what he had planned to say in his mind over and over.

"Minseok isn’t coming by anymore.”

“What do you mean? Like he can’t make it today?”

Jongdae shook his head. “No, like he won’t be coming anymore. These weekly meetings are over.”

“Wha-What?” Kyungjin stuttered out with a wide look in her eyes. “Why?” she exclaimed out loud.

Jongdae bit his lip, staring at the ceiling. “I’m…I’m not sure. But he said that it would be better for him to and in the end better for you as well.”

“I don’t understand,” she murmured. She threw off the covers of her bed in a rush. “I’m going to talk to him.”

“No!” Jongdae cried out, ing out a hand in surprise, forcing her to sit back onto the bed. “No, Kyungjin.”

“Did you tell him that I was too tired to go out anymore or something?” she asked suspiciously, her eyes narrowed darkly.

Jongdae sighed. “No, I didn’t. Kyungjin, listen to me. Minseok doesn’t know anything about that. I can’t tell you exactly why he wants to stop visiting you, but he told me that it was something he needed to you. It’s for himself. Not for you or anyone else. Do you understand?”

Kyungjin frowned. “No. I don’t understand at all. What does that have anything to do with me?”

“It has everything to do with you, but it also has everything to do with him,” Jongdae stressed. “Minseok said that you would understand.”

“Understand,” Kyungjin murmured softly. “No, I don’t,” she continued, gripping the blankets into a tight fist. “Did he say that will come back and see me again?”

“He…he didn’t say.”

Kyungjin looked down. “I see.”

Jongdae eyebrows furrowed with worry. “Kyungjin,” he said softly.

She stared at her cousin, but it was more like staring through him rather than at him.

She bit her lip and shook her head. “Jongdae, Minseok.” Her voice died out in a spluttered. “Minseok,” she tried again. “Minseok is fragile. He put up a wall between him and everyone else on this planet. And I’ve only just managed to get through to him. ”

The more she thought about it, the more she got angrier. “I need him to say it from his own mouth. Like hell I’m going to sit here and accept it so easily.”

She glared at Jongdae. “If he wants to stop seeing me for whatever reason, he needs to tell me himself. He can’t just run away and just expect me to sit here quietly.”

She stood up, stubbornly forcing her way through Jongdae’s weak attempt of stopping her.

“Don’t you trust him?” Jongdae pleaded. “That he what he’s doing is important enough to stop seeing you?”

She stopped and looked at him with a long stare.

He panicked as he started to ramble. “I don’t know why Minseok did this. But I do know he was serious. He showed more emotion than I have ever seen on him in the lifetime I’ve known him. Sure, I may have not known him for a long time, but it was clear as day. Kyungjin, please believe me when I say this. I know I’m rambling, but you can’t just leave. It’s not good for your health. Your mom would kill me. Heck, Minseok would kill me. This was the reason why he told me. So you wouldn’t do anything stupid. And…and…”

Kyungjin’s mouth quirked into a smile as she calmly called her cousin’s name. “Jongdae.”

“This is stupid. I knew I should have convinced him to tell you something. Or at least write you something. Or maybe not. Cause that’s what that punk Sehun did. But he only would talk about pointless things. Ugh. I hate that guy.”

“Jongdae!”

The boy stopped talking, his mouth still open as he was forming a word. He turned to look at her with wide eyes.

“I get it.”

His mouth formed an “O”. “You get it?” he asked hesitantly.

She nodded. “Minseok isn’t the sort of person who will spontaneously do something. He’s the type of person who will think hard and long about something. And if this is the conclusion he came up with, then fine.”

“But!” Kyungjin cried out loudly as if she was saying it to herself more than anyone else. “He still can’t do this to me. I think I deserve at least an explanation of some sort. Something that I can hold onto.”

“Don’t you trust him?” Jongdae questioned.

“I trust Minseok. There was a reason why he stopped coming to see me and that once he figured it out; he’ll come to see me. But we’ve been a lot. Him and me.” She looked at Jongdae pleadingly. “At least let me see him. You can go with me to his house.”

Jongdae hesitated before relenting. “Alright. Let’s go.”

She grinned and hugged him. “Thanks, Jongdae. You’re my favorite cousin.”

He scoffed and hugged her back. “I better be.”

Kyungjin’s face fell. “What do you mean he isn’t here?”

Minseok’s mom smiled sadly. “He left yesterday. He said there was something he needed to do. I couldn’t stop him. Not when he actually was serious about something.” She looked down at her hands. “Minseok. Ever since he was small, he never cared about anything. It was almost as if he removed himself from the world and kept himself in a little bubble. No one could ever get through him. Not me, not his father, nobody.”

She looked at Kyungjin and gave her brief but thankful smile. “When he came here with me, both of us knew that he wasn’t expecting anything. But then he met you, and well.”

She took Kyungjin’s hands held them softly. “I’ve never seen him like that. Sure, he still seemed like he didn’t cared and indifferent, but there were times where I caught him smiling. You don’t know how I felt when I saw that. I almost cried. And I still get watery eye when I think about it. Thank you, Kyungjin. You don’t know how much you’ve done.”

Kyungjin was speechless. She didn’t expect Minseok to be missing, and his mother to pour her heart to her in such a way.

She shook her head. “I didn’t do anything,” she said softly. “Minseok. He helped me too. More than he would think.”

Minseok’s mother smiled and pulled a folded sheet of paper off the table. “This is for you. Minseok told me that if you ever came by, and he was sure you would, to give this to you.”

Kyungjin looked at the paper with fear and hope and slowly took it.

She opened it with a nervous heart and read the few lines that Minseok penned.

Kyungjin.

I'm sorry. Truly sorry.

I’m sorry that I left without telling you.

I'm sorry for putting you through this situation again.

But it was for the best.

Believe me when I say that I need to do this.

I don’t know when I’ll be back.

But believe in me. Believe in yourself.

Believe in everyone else in this town.

You have more people in your lives than you think.

Minseok.

P.S. Don’t hate everyone else. It’s not their fault. I told them not to.

Kyungjin read it once. Then three more times, as if she was hoping that the words would suddenly change and read something different.

But it didn’t, and she knew that it wouldn’t after the hundredth time.

She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth, telling herself to stop thinking.

But she couldn’t as past memories came flooding in. Ones about Sehun. Ones about her father.

Her father. Someone she tried to never think about. She was planning on telling Minseok about him eventually. She wasn’t even sure if he knew about him. She never thought about him when she was with him because being with Minseok had never allowed her to think about her father. He was something of a bad past as well. A scar that never healed.

He was probably the main reason why she took Sehun’s departure so badly as well.

Kyungjin had always tried to live a positive life. Even when she was sick, even when bad things happened, she moved on.

But the one thing that scared her the most, more than dying, was being abandoned.

She was abandoned once by her father and then by her best friend.

And now the person she loved was leaving her.

She took deep breaths to calm herself, but her heart wouldn’t stop pounding.

She read the note again, her eyes stopping at the postscript.

Don’t hate everyone else.

She didn’t understand what he meant by that.

She looked back at Jongdae who was silently waiting for her near the front door.

She blinked at him and walked sluggishly towards him.

“Did you know?” she managed to say despite the tears threatening to form.

“Kyungin, I think we need to go back,” he worriedly said.

She shook her head. “Answer me please. Did you know?”

“Know what?” he asked slowly, eyeing her restlessly.

“That he was leaving,” she croaked out.

Jongdae widened his eyes and swallowed.

“I…He didn’t exactly tell me that he was leaving,” he said slowly.

“But?” she softly cried out.

He looked away, away from the eyes that screamed in sadness. “But,” he mumbled softly. “From what he told me, I had a feeling that he was planning on going. And I hoped I was wrong.”

Kyungjin closed her eyes and bit her lip, trying her hardest to not break down right now and cry.

“Did everyone else know?” she asked in a strained voice.

Jongdae looked back in her in surprise. “Not that I know of. Actually, I don’t know if he told anyone.”

Kyungjin stared at him and slowly walked out Minseok’s house.

Jongdae watched her nervously. “Where you going, Kyungjin? We’re going back, right?”

She didn’t answer, only walking listlessly on.

Jongdae followed her, constantly trying to direct her back to the hospital, but she didn’t listen. Or rather she couldn’t. She didn’t hear him, her mind blank with confusion.

When she arrived at her destination, she opened the door with a small swing.

The boy inside looked at her in a startle. “Kyungjin?” he asked confusedly. “What are you doing here?”

“Kyungsoo. Did you know?”

He frowned. “Are you ok? You don’t look so hot. But then again, you never did.”

She didn’t even flinch at his remark.

That’s when Kyungsoo knew something wrong.

He took a hesitant step towards her before rushing altogether.

He put a soft hand on her shoulder and looked into her eyes.

Her dead eyes frightened him, and he made an audible swallow.

“Kyungjin? Kyungjin, are you ok?”

She looked up at him with blank eyes that flittered once with panic. “Did you know?”

“Know what?”

“That Minseok was leaving.”

Kyungsoo flinched and took his hand off her. He looked down at his shoes, pursing his lips with uncertainty.

“I…” he started but faltered soon after.

But that was all Kyungjin needed.

He knew.

She spun around and opened the door as Kyungsoo called after her.

Lina, who had been in the back room with Kris who was had brought them lunch, popped her head out. Kris looked out as well.

“What’s wrong, Kyungsoo?” she asked.

Kris also looked out with curiosity.

Kyungsoo frowned with concern. “Kyungjin found out that Minseok left.”

Both Lina and Kris frowned at his words.

“She didn’t take it well?” Lina suggested.

Kyungsoo shook his head. “Hell no. She looks like a zombie. She just asked me if I knew if Minseok was leaving.” He looked at her sadly. “I couldn’t say that I did. But I think she knew either way.”

Kris looked at them thoughtfully. “Minseok did tell us not to tell her before he left. He practically told almost everyone in town. At least everyone who knew Kyungjin. I was very surprised when he appeared at my restaurant the other day.”

Lina nodded. “Same goes for me. He told me and Yixing as well.” She chuckled softly. “He's against the thought. He said it was stupid and preposterous. And that Kyungjin deserved better than that. I kinda agreed. But…”

Kyungsoo mumbled with thought, “But he made everyone promise him something.”

“That we would take care of Kyungjin for him,” Kris finished.

They all looked at the door where Kyungjin was moments before.

Kyungsoo pulled off his work apron and glanced at the other two.

“Let’s go.”

She walked out of the store and almost bumped into Jongdae who had finally found her.

“Kyungjin!” he shouted, his words falling on deaf ears. “You need to stop this.”

She didn’t listen as she continued walking to another place.

When she opened this particular door, two pair of eyes looked up at her.

One was silently reading a book while the other was chewing on gum while playing on his phone.

She stared at him, suddenly reminded of the time where she had to come to terms with Sehun with Minseok’s help. Her eyes began to water involuntary.

“Kyungjin,” Jongin called out softly. “What’s wrong?”

Sehun looked at her silently.

“Did you guys know?”

Jongin and Sehun looked at each other before looking at the distraught girl.

“Know what exactly?” Jongin asked tentatively.

“That Minseok was leaving.”

They both wavered at her words.

It was silent before Sehun answered. “And what if we did?”

Kyungjin opened but no words came out. She shakily took a deep breath and tried again. “Did everyone know?”

They were both silent.

She clenched her hands into fists. “Please! Tell me the truth.”

“I don’t know if everyone knew, but a good amount did,” Jongin finally said.

Kyunjin stared at them silently before nodding slowly.

“And that’s why he told me not to hate everyone else,” she said softly to herself.

Her head started to pound with dizziness as she staggered out of the bookstore.

She almost collapsed but luckily her cousin managed to keep up with her and caught her before she fell.

“Kyungjin!” he cried out. “You need to stop this madness!”

She looked up at Jongdae with weary eyes as if his words were coming through one ear and out the other.

Jongin and Sehun had peeked outside when they heard Jongdae yelling.

“But… I…I…” Kyungjin tried to say.

“Minseok wouldn’t want to see you like this!” Jongdae desperately yelled.

At those words, Kyungjin froze as if her senses finally came back to her.

She dropped down to her knees and shakily tried to wrap her arms around herself in an attempt to calm herself.

But it was no use.

The mere thought that Minseok, another person she cared for immensely, had left her caused her to shake relentlessly and over think everything.

About Minseok.

About herself.

About everything she had tried not to think about.

Kyungjin felt her eyes prickle. She took deep breaths, trying to calm down.

Everyone knew.

Everyone knew except for her.

It hurt.

It hurt so much. Much more pain than what her illness could ever inflict on her.

She wanted to scream and cry at the same time, but instead she stared blankly at the sky.

And then she started to run.

Running was something she wasn’t allowed to do. But it was the one thing that would force these thoughts out of her mind.

She trusted Minseok, but past experiences made her doubt in everyone and everything.

She didn’t hear Jongdae yell behind her.

She didn’t see her friends gather and start to chase after her.

All she could think about was Minseok and how he left her.

Before she realized, she was in a field of flowers.

The place where Minseok and her went before. A quiet place of solitude.

It was there she cried her heart out where no one could hear her.

And that was the last thing she remembered.

It wasn’t too long before Jongdae found her, but it also wasn’t fast enough.

Kyungjin had already passed out and was breathing erratically.

Jongdae cursed and picked her up, running all the way back to town.

He felt his throat start to close up in panic.

He hoped to God that he made it in time.

Because Minseok trusted him to make sure Kyungjin wouldn’t do something like this.

And he had failed them both.

A/N: I don’t know what else to say.

Just let it all soak in, I suppose.

Thanks for reading!