Acceptance

The Secrets of the Mind

He blinked at the girl who was causally sitting on his bed with her fingers clasped together on her lap.

He sighed and dropped the book on his desk. He turned to look at her and shook his head.

He sat down on the chair at his desk completely ignoring the intruder.

“That’s it? You’re going to ignore me?” she asked, flabbergasted.

He didn’t say anything as he picked up the book and began to open it.

She got up angrily and strode towards him with furious steps. She slammed the book back down onto the table as Minseok stared at his now empty hands.

He slowly inched his gaze from his hands to her face. “Shouldn’t you be at the hospital?” he asked blandly.

She scoffed. “How can I patiently stay at the hospital while I get told that you aren’t coming by anymore? Do you know how worried I was? That it might have been what I said that made you stop coming?”

He blinked at her and shrugged. “It may have been, or it may have not been.”

“Explain!” she cried out.

Minseok could hear her anxiousness and worry that came off nonstop. He sighed tiredly and rubbed his temples. “Stop. Stop, alright? That’s enough. It was my choice. I simply was tired of babysitting you all the time. Simple as that.” He pointed at the door without looking at her. “If you’re done here, you may leave.”

She crossed her arms. “I’m not leaving.”

Minseok turned around. “Suit yourself.”

“I’m not leaving without you.”

He shook his head. “Do you hear how ridiculous you sound?”

“Yeah, and I don’t care.”

Minseok sighed. “Does it have to be me?”

Kyungjin blinked and without hesitation said, “Yes.”

“Why?”

She looked down. “Honestly, I don’t know. But when I’m with you, I feel normal again. Frankly, when I was stuck in the hospital the whole time, I didn’t do anything but sit in bed and wander around in the hospital. There was nobody there who was my age, and all the staff members were busy. Jongdae would come once in a while, but he has a life too. Even other people, they all looked at me like I was going to break any minute.”

She looked and smiled softly. “But then you came, and you accepted the fact that I’m sick, that I might die any day. But you treated me the same as everyone else. Like I was simply another person. Like I was normal. We went around town like normal people. You weren’t constantly asking how I was or making me rest every five seconds.”

Minseok stared at her blandly. “But those friends of yours. Kris and Kyungsoo. They treated you like you were fine as well.”

Kyungjin smiled. “That’s because you were there. Kris is like a mom. Nagging me whenever he can. But I think he felt a bit relieved that you were there. Kyungsoo is a stuck-up brat whenever I’m with him, but he really seemed to enjoy himself with you there. Do you understand now? Why I… want you to come back?”

Minseok paused, hands clasped, still staring straight ahead. “No, I don’t.”

She frowned and looked away sadly. “I see.”

There was a silence until Minseok spoke up, “We only have known each other for a little over a month.”

“Yes,” Kyungjin affirmed.

“We only met each other once a week for several hours in that one month,” he continued calmly.

“Right,” she said slowly, confused on where he was going with his statements.

“Hardly enough time for two people to become close, don’t you think?”

“I suppose?” she mumbled perplexedly.

He finally turned around to look at her. “And yet you miss me.”

“Wha? How…how did you know that?” she mumbled in astonishment, flushing in the face.

Minseok stared blankly at her in response.

“Ah, that’s right,” she mumbled softly, looking down. But then she raised her head and looked directly into Minseok’s eyes. “Yes, that’s right. I miss our little once a week meetings. I miss your blank and soulless gestures. Your seemingly uncaring and bored attitude. I miss you.

“Then stop. Accept the fact that I’m not coming back. We’re not involved with each other anymore.”

Kyungjin stared unbelievably at Minseok before spitting out, “No.”

“No?”

She shook her head with frustration. “No. You’re stuck with me whether you like it or not. You been stuck with me the moment you agreed to take me out. I don’t take too kindly to people who break their promises. Especially selfish ones.”

“Selfish?”

She glared at him. “That’s right! You are a selfish snob. All you care about is yourself and how you can’t be hurt by others. And once someone touches a nerve, you run away like a coward.”

Minseok returned her glare with an equally intense one. “You don’t know anything about me. You’re wrong. Weren’t you the one who said that there was a reason for everything for everything? Then believe that for my case as well.”

Her gaze softened. “Then prove me wrong. Prove to me how you’re everything but what I said you were.”

He stared at her, observing her, pondering on her words.

They both were startled with the sudden piercing ring from the telephone.

Minseok glanced at Kyungjin before leaving the room to pick up the portable telephone stationed at the table in the hallway.

“Hello?”

“Minseok? This is Kyungjin’s mother,” came the frantic voice. “Do you know where Kyungjin is? She’s not the hospital, and no one at the hospital knows where she is. Dr. Soo said maybe you knew?”

Minseok didn’t say anything as he walked back into his room where Kyungjin looked up at his entrance.

“You snuck out?” he asked.

She looked abashedly away, her actions speaking for her words.

He handed her the phone as she looked confusedly from Minseok to the phone before speaking into it.

After a few soft mutters of “sorry’s”, Kyungjin handed the phone back to Minseok.

“Mom’s pretty angry at me,” she mumbled.

Minseok pulled open door and waited.

Kyungjin noticed his gesture and cocked her head. “What?”

“I’ll bring you back. It’s partly my fault that you’re here anyways.”

“That’s right. Everything’s your fault, isn’t it?” she joked as she rolled her eyes.

Minseok simply watched as she walked out the door.

 

 

“Kyungjin!”

“Mom, you’re cutting off the circulation in my arms,” Kyungjin choked out, wincing from the powerful hug her mother gave her.

Once her mother let go, Jongdae knocked her head with his knuckles. “Don’t be going around doing God forbid knows what. And when you do, at least tell someone where you’re going,” he grumbled.

She rubbed her head and chuckled sheepishly. “Sorry, cuz.”

Her mother sighed with relief and looked at her daughter with exasperation. “I’ll tell Dr. Soo that you’re alright. He was worried about you too.” With that, she quickly left the room.

Jongdae peered behind Kyungjin to look at Minseok standing a little off to the side. He wrinkled his nose at him. “You.”

Minseok stared back, clearly hearing his thoughts. “I didn’t kidnap her.”

“So why was she at your house?”

Minseok looked pointedly at Kyungjin. “Ask her.”

Kyungjin shrunk away from the sudden attention on her. “Um. I just, you know…”

“No, we don’t know,” Minseok stated back.

She shifted her eyes left to right and crumbled from the stares. “I wanted to see Minseok and find out why he wouldn’t be coming to see me anymore, so I snuck out to see him. And I’m really sorry, but can you really blame me? I was worried, and I wouldn’t be able to sit still without knowing!” she cried out with one breath, without stopping. Her face was flushed the rapid succession of words and was breathing heavily at the end.

A sudden hush fell upon them when Jongdae snorted. “You’re such a troublemaker, you know? I thought you put behind your past misdemeanors behind you. For good.”

“Well, things happen. And old habits are hard to break,” she grinned with a shrug of her shoulders.

He turned to look at Minseok. “And you. When I told you to work it out with Kyungjin, I didn’t mean to do it like this.”

“I didn’t do anything. She’s the one who came to my house unexpected. Which I didn’t appreciate, by the way.”

Kyungjin turned to narrow her eyes at Minseok while he stared sullenly back. Jongdae watched their wordless battle and sighed. He glared at both of them and pointed his finger at them haphazardly. “I’m going to get something to drink and when I come back you two better be buddy buddy, or else I’m going to force you guys to make up in the most painful way possible,” he threatened as he walked out the door.

Kyungjin continued to glare at Minseok but suddenly dropped her gaze. She waved her hand nonchalantly at him, walking toward her bed. “You can leave. I’ll try to persuade Jongdae that we made up.”

Minseok glanced at her from his peripheral vision. “You’re not going to stop me?”

She laughed. “I just spent my day trying to do just that.” She nodded, trying to look experienced as possible. “There are times where even though you tried your best, you simply have to give up.”

“But you’re sad about it.”

She exhaled briefly. “Obviously. I spent so much effort trying to convince you, and you rejected me so coldly,” she gasped dramatically, putting her arm over her eyes as she plopped on the bed backwards.

Minseok was silent as he gazed at the motionless figure.

She peeked through her arm with one eye. She made a gesture to shoo him away. “Go on, now. Leave me so I can groan and gripe about my misfortunes,” she chuckled.

Those words didn’t seem to register with Minseok as he continued to stare at her.

He could tell that she was beginning to feel a bit restless under his gaze. But he was staring at her, trying to figure out what he was feeling right at that moment.

Pity? Guilt? Sadness? A mixture of them all?

Whatever it was, Minseok just didn’t feel right leaving Kyungjin like this. And he didn’t like it, getting involved with a calamity that was just waiting to happen. But it seemed like this calamity was always following him, a step behind him, even he tried to run away. He always hated complicated things. So why was he doing this?

Minseok mumbled something softly.

Kyungjin removed her arm and sat up in surprise, blinking rapidly as if that would suddenly change the fact that Minseok really did sound apologetic. “Say that again?”

He merely looked at her with a blank expression and shook his head, leaving the room without another single word.

She followed his figure leave because she swore he said something along the lines of “See you.”

“See you.” Not “Good-bye”, but “See you”.

Kyungjin smiled.

Because a “See you” meant that it wasn’t going to be the last time she would see him.

 

 

“Hi!”

She wasn’t surprised, nor shocked, but simply happy. Happy to see him.

She stopped folding paper on the lap desk, staring at him.

“Super Min!” finally came out of .

“What?”

She pointed at him and grinned. “You are for now on to be called Super Min!”

Minseok stared at her with slight confusion. It had taken him almost two weeks to come and visit her again, and the first words that came out were something he couldn’t comprehend, even with hearing her thoughts.

“I’ve thought a lot about your ability.”

Minseok narrowed his eyes slightly. He didn’t like the sudden start of this topic.

“And?” finally came the reply.

The girl briefly observed him, actually leaning in closer to take a better look at his stoic face.

She leaned back and grinned slightly. “Nothing, except how cool it is!”

“Excuse me?” Minseok asked back.

“I mean, you can read minds! You’re like a superhero! Or something of that variety,” she mused excitedly.

“Wait! I’ve wanting to try this for a while, but do you know what I’m thinking right now?” she asked, her eyes gleaming with excitement.

Her fast-paced mind recklessly passed through thoughts one after the other that Minseok was unable to listen to her thoughts properly. But he did hear one specific thought that spoke louder than the others.

“You think I’m the coolest thing since Play-doh.”

She blinked several times. She expected him to know what she was thinking, but for him to actually confirm and prove it, excited her beyond belief.

“God dang it!” she cried, shaking her head furiously. “You are too awesome. It’s like you really have a superpower or something.”

“Actually,” Minseok tried to interrupt. “I can’t just read your mind. You have to say something and then I can hear what you’re thinking at the same time.”

But Kyungjin didn’t listen to him as she kept on rambling about Minseok’s very special ability. “And if you have superpower, that makes you a superhero! Therefore, you shall now be dubbed as Super Min!”

“Yeah. So, you like it?” she responded in excitement.

“Super Min,” he repeated in a deadpanned voice.

“You don’t like it,” she pouted. “It’s okay; I like it.”

“I don’t get a say in this?”

“Hah!” she scoffed. “What makes you think that? My room, my rules!”

“So once we step out of this room, the name no longer applies?”

“Oh,” she paused, looking up. “I didn’t think about that.”

He shrugged. “I don’t really care either way,” he said as he sat down on the chair next to her bed.

Kyungjin nodded satisfactorily, tilting her head down as she continued to fold paper.

Minseok took a lingering look at her profile. Her reaction was something he had come to expect but also not. He had a feeling that with that personality of hers, she would accept him for who he was, but it was better to hear her in person than just envisioning it, hoping for it.  He took another look at her, at her naturally cheerful self before looking away. She wasn’t like him, the person who had betrayed his trust. He had finally accepted that.

“Thank you,” he said softly as if it was another breath he took.

“Hmm?” she intoned, not hearing what he said.

He cleared his throat. “Are you planning on going out today too?”

Kyungjin paused folding and smiled lightly, happy to know that he was still thinking about her request, her hair hiding the profile of her face, causing Minseok not see her expression.

She raised her head and wagged her finger at him with a serious look on her face. “Not today.” She picked up the paper and proudly showed him it. “I’ve been working on folding origami.”

Minseok turned his attention to her lap desk which had assorted colors of paper scattered on them and several of attempts at folding.

He reached over to pick one up and observed it, turning it over. “What is this? A fish?”

She blushed and snatched the origami from his hands. “It was supposed to be a flower, thank you very much.”

“Flower.”

“Yes, flower.”

“Huh, I would have never guessed.”

She glared at him. “Then you try your hand at it. Then you’ll understand the hardship and the precise mastery one needs for this. It is no simple task.”

He reached over to grab a sheet of paper and began folding. In no time at all, he presented a standing penguin to her unamused face.  

She snatched it and stared at it before looking at Minseok. She could swear that in that emotionless expression of his, there was hint of smugness layered underneath it.

She glared at him and snarled, “Oh, it’s on.”

Minseok simply put out a hand for another piece of paper, his way of telling her that he accepted her challenge.

 

 


A/N: I’m not sure if I liked how I presented this chapter, but I think it did its job.

The weather’s been colder lately, so I feel like doing nothing but snuggling up in my bed and sleep.

Sleep, how I miss you so.

Thanks for reading!

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
XiuminsKnuts
#1
Chapter 20: Mmm could Chanyeol also hear thoughts or was hin saying monster a reference to him manipulating. The whole layer to his thoughts makes me think he was well aware of true thoughts and hiding them
Baembi
#2
Chapter 30: How could I not have read this before T_T This is literally one of the best Xiumin fics! Aww I wish the surgery will be successful..
MiniMe004
#3
Chapter 30: ....... and she'll die ...... No, I hope everything will end up fine
anitaklr24
#4
Chapter 30: I love it! hope everything is fine!
Have a nice night/ day!
Hugs ^^,
anitaklr24
#5
Chapter 29: I really like it! they are so cute together. Hope the best to Kyungjin!
Have a nice night / day!
Hugs ^^,
ReadTheGems #6
Chapter 29: Your story is so thoughtful and relevant to me. It make me curious as to what life has thrown at you and how you have dealt with it. I am glad to know that there is a person such as yourself out there. Thank you.
Now off to look at any other stories written by you.
k_nana #7
Chapter 29: You know, i didn't even know about the story until i scrolled over xiumin's list of fics and stumbled upon this one n i was damn glad i did. This story means a lot to me because in a way, his character is related to mine a bit in dealing strangers so throughout a series of ur updates, i learnt a lot from ur character of xiumin and for that, thank u, even though ur not expecting this. I will be sad when i finish reading ur fic, but then again, i can just reread it again and again if i want too. Thanks for writing this wonderful fic :)
anitaklr24
#8
Chapter 28: Beautiful chapter! I have a great time reading it! Hugs ^^,
anitaklr24
#9
Chapter 27: Great chapter! Finally they are together!!!I am so happy with this chapter!
Hugs ^^,
anitaklr24
#10
Chapter 26: I don't know why but I cried a little in this chapter. Sometimes, we are like Minseok who put a lot of expectations in Chanyeol without thinking that Chanyeol was a human like him, who makes mistakes.
I am looking forward to the next chapter!
Hugs ^^,