... I was about to refresh my face with extreme cold water when he get inside. He looked at me and I knew he was drunk. His gaze was sparkling, scrounging for some amusement. He came nearer and touched my b*tt...!! 

     "Did you enjoy it?" He asked nonchalant, slowly going to the stall. 

But this sentence somehow was the last straw. I grabbed  his wrist and pulled him against the door of one of the stalls. He was slightly shoked of my sudden action. Stuck in-between my arms, his look was giving out panic waves. But I didn't want to freak him out so I waited till I saw in his eyes more curiosity than fear, curiosity of what I was about to do. And because I was drunk tooo, I didn't even tried to contain myself.

     "Jun---", He didn't had time to finish, my lips were already on his, wandering, roving, relishing his texture. He was frozen but still not rejecting me like I thought he would do; on the contrary, when I deeped the kiss, he grabbed my waist and pulled me closer to him! I slipped my tongue out, asking for entrance which he gave me immediately. I was exploring his curves with my hands, sliding down the slight relief of his ribs...when he suddenly clenched my b*tt - I let out a moan - and pushed me against the wall just behind. He released my mouth to let himself breath again and I saw his eyes burnning of desir. His hands were already slipping into my shirt when I took his head in between my hands and kissed him deeply. Thankfully my phone rang at that precise moment. If it hadn't, I don't know till where we would have been...!

Hyunseung growled at the sound of the ringtone but still drew back to let me pick up. I landed a brief kiss on his lips before saying "Yobboseyo" . Then I went out of the bar for a quieter place in order to hear something in the phone...

It was you.

You had a rough day and Doojoon didn't pay any attention to you, only stuck with his girlfriend he had at the time. And you told me that because of them you was not even able to see a couple anymore. That's when I decided to keep it a secret. I couldn't let you suffer because of me, you was already suffering too much because of Doojoon. I would have been the worst bestfriend in the world if I had told you!  Moreover Hyunseung didn't want the rest of the band to know..."

So from the start it has been this, the reason of the secret, the reason of this "betrayal" in our friendship. Actually the "betrayal" was just one more proof of our friendship... I felt guilty to have grassed up their secret story to the entire band in the most tactlessly way... 

"-And the day after? Wasn't it awkward?" I asked, totally unable to hold on my curiosity.

"-Well yeah, it was a little bit. As we went back to the dorm, Hyunseung was already sleeping in the van, so it wasn't still awkward. Then we slept till 11 a.m., so we were alone in the dorm because you all had some stuff to do. I woke earlier than him. I wasn't fully sure of what happened the night before, all seemed to me like a dream, or at least like a fantastic film. But the fact Hyunseung wasn't out of his bed yet in itself was a proof that all had really happened. I just had finished to make our breakfast up, when he came in the kitchen. I could tell he was having a bad headache. I told him to sit while I was serving the breakfast. He was hardly blushing every single time he landed his eyes on me!

   "You know, you're extremly cute when you blush" I blurted out.

He instantaneously facepalmed his red cheeks, not knowing what answer to that. I made a move to him, taking out the distance between us. I took his hand and kneeled down, setting his hand on my heart:

     "Jang Hyunseung, I love you. I love each part of you, each word that come out of your adorable lips. I promise I'll cherish you and protect you forever. From it seems to be an eternety and to the real eternity, I love you."

He was stunned, his eyes were bigger than moons! But slowly a shy smile cleaved his face...

      " I....I love you too Jun...Junhyung" 

I hugged him tightly and kissed his hair... I was blissful..."

His silky voice remained some seconds on the note before being absorbed by the darkness. We were both pondering the story, Junhyung reliving his memories and me, imagining the scenes...

"-It's a beautiful story" I finally whispered.

"-You have a nicer one in your heart, which asks only for an opportunity to come true!"

I turned my head to him:

"-Hyunseung says you're fed up I'm not telling Doojoon.

-Yes in part. But don't confess to him, just because I want you to do it. It's your choice. Only you have to take the decision. "

This was my Junhyung, I was happy he was finally back! He was right, only me had to take the decision because only me would regret if it doesn't go off well....

"-Have a good sleep Seobie-ah!

-You too Junn, I love you.

-I love you too."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"-Gikwang, give me the green liquid please.

-This?"

Dongwoon nodded.

"-I hope this time, they've found a good translator because last time, it was difficult..." Jun said, keeping talking about the interview we had planned for the afternoon.

"-Yeah, I hope too.

-Why the CubeEnt doesn't have his own team of traductors? It would be more practical!

-Woah I really like japanese food, it's like paradise...

- Maybe it's a problem of money...

-Paradise? You mean for alien maybe...

-I thought Cube doesn't have such problem....

-When is the interwiew?

-I always knew you was an Alien Dongwoon!!

-At 4 p.m. I think."

I was following the discussion like if I was watching a match of ping-pong : only following the ball from my eyes. We were in a sort of snack-bar chic version, at the terrace (due to the pleading of Dongwoon - and despite the still-not-very-hot temperature), eating some strange japanese food, which I was not even able to try to pronounciate the names. And my mind was somewhere else. Though I was trying to focus myself but it seems like if the words have lost their meaning during the night. I was feeling weak...weak like never... To say I didn't sleep well would be an euphemism... After Junhyung have told me his love story, I began to picture myself how I could reveal my feelings to Doojoon, knowing that I should do it soon. Then I thought of doing it the day after, that means today. With that I began a bad insomnia... And now it was the chaos in my head. Nothing was having a real sense... My feeling were strange, the food had a weird flavor - well that was maybe not my fault- , even my view was unlikely : all was unusually white... Only one sentence had sense and was coming reguarly in my mind : and if I told him today?  Then an adrenalin wave was tightening every muscle of my body while my heartbeat was throwing three or four drum roll...

I took another....thing with my chopsticks and set it in my mouth. Strange. 

"-I'm sure they are better at light! 

-What? Why? No I think they're better at sound.

- Well, at least they have some fabulous red spot.

- I'm sure the show will be great. 

-If it is, we have to celebrate it!"

Maybe I could confess before the show... Or after? But how to begin? "Doojoon, I'm sure you've noticed my behaviour since----"  Or you writing a thesis Seobie?! It has to be something cheesier... Like : "Doo, you know, it has been months that I'm in love with you..."  No, too direct...

"-I know your parfume, it's a good one.

-Thanks.

-I went in a shop yesterday, and I was so sad there wasn't my favorite chocolates! .... But I still used japanese words..."

But, what if Hyunseung was wrong?

"-Wait, when did you came out without informing me?"

What if he is straight and homophobic?

"-You was already sleeping!"

Because I knew he felt something special  towards the gay... This strange expression he had that day... It didn't seemed to be pure aversion but still, it was weird...

-But no it has always been like that with him..."

And what if he rejects me and looks at me as if I'm a rubbish or - worst - a defect of the nature?

I felt my throat tighten, catched by a bundle of anxiety... I focused at the bowl in front of me, clinging on to the reality. Suddenly I felt my phone moving in my pocket. I took it, and unlocked it. 1 message:

                          From: Doojoonie <3

                         What's wrong??

I raised my eyes to see him, his look was interrogative, waiting for the answer. "Yoseob, please, don't think to his eyes that you plan to fix in a few hours....!" I get a grip on myself and typed on my phone :

                         From: me

                        Rough night...

I knew perfectly he wouldn't gulp it. The rough night was only a little part of the problem, the least actually. It didn't explain at all my expressions of anxiety that must have been showing through...

                           From: Doojoonie <3

                         You know I won't buy it? 

I was right...

                          From: me

                         I know.

I really had to do it today. The situation was begining to be unbearable for everybody... and the pain in my chest was increasingly strong so I had to do something anyway.