CHAPTER 7 - -

- - to be selfish

"I think you'll be sharing a room with me..." Jinri said as we walked into her room. My eyes immediately explored the walls - it was a typical girl's room. Pink walls with a lacy design, a soft white carpet and two beds, covered in pink sheets, on opposite walls. I figured that I'd soon be using one of them. Barbie dolls of all kinds were perched on a bookshelf, along with toy horses and a variety of doll clothes. This room really seemed to suit my stepsister.

"Is that ok with you?" I asked her softly. I didn't want to intrude.

She slowly nodded, "It will be different for me..." she paused and I felt guilt begin to tug at my heart, "But I've always wanted a sibling!" My heart lightened at this and I looked up to her smile.

Maybe, just maybe this wouldn't be too bad.

"I mean, I hear about sisters who always share clothes and all that," Jinri continued as she patted the bed beside her. I shuffled to her side, "I've always wanted to experience something similar."

I nodded, "I do too," I spoke softly. It'd always just been my father and I. No one else as he didn't have very many friends and neither did I. The friends I did have at my school were simply school friends and I never arranged to meet them outside of school.

"I made some space in my closet for you if you'd like to unpack now..." Jinri said shyly and I felt my heart warm at this.

I nodded and smiled at her, "That would be great," I replied. Unpacking would help me settle.

"I'll even help you!" she responded enthusiastically and we immediately busied ourselves in unpacking my luggage. I had a lot of it. My father had liked shopping and at least once a month, on a weekend, he'd take me shopping for the whole day. I'd be allowed to buy whatever I wanted and he'd always be patient. I figured it was because he was always so busy that this was his way of trying to spend time with me.

"Wow, this is so pretty!" Jinri gasped and I snapped out of my thoughts. I blinked, focusing on the dress she held. It was the last dress my father had bought for me before he died.

"Thank you..." I mumbled, unsure of how to really respond.

"And this one too," she said while unpacking another clothing item, "It's so unfair that you have all these nice clothes." I could hear in the jealousy in her tone and I tensed. I didn't want Jinri to think badly of me. We'd have to live together for the next few years and I didn't want to be a burden to my mother.

"Well..." I began awkwardly, "You can wear my clothes whenever you like."

My smile was forced, but Jinri believed it.

A large grin broke out on her lips and she clutched the shirt she held tighter, "Really? You're amazing Krystal!" she squealed in delight and I wasn't sure how to react. Growing up with only a father left me unexposed to typical female reactions.

But, I'd have to learn if I was to live here.

I never wore the dress that my father bought me last.

It was kept in Jinri's side of the closet and she'd never offered to let me wear her clothes.

Dread.

That was all I felt as soon as I woke up the following morning.

How on earth was I supposed to face him after what I'd done last night?

I'd kissed him.

I'd been selfish last night. I'd disregarding his feelings completely and had given into mine, something I promised I'd never do. I didn't even know how he felt about me and so, I had no right to act like I had.

Besides, it wasn't my place. I wasn't the person he was searching for and such intimacy should be reserved for her only. Yes, for some reason, I believed that Minho was searching for a female - his soul-mate to be exact and I had no right to interfere in that.

I dug my hands in my hair, trying to find the courage to leave my room. I'd made my bed and been dressed for two hours already, but I still hadn't been able to leave my sanctuary. I'd have to face him then, and that was something I wasn't brave enough for yet. But, I needed to get to university soon and the plus side to that was that it would be a distraction.

I slowly inhaled as lifted myself off of my bed. I had a plan. I'd literally make a run for it. Yes, I'd run from here to the front door and not even glance at him. It wasn't that far of a distance and hopefully, he wouldn't be able to stop me.

Yes, I nodded to myself as I steeled my nerves and picked up my bag. I could do this.

I hesitantly approached my door, breath hitching as soon as I came in contact with the metal doorknob.

You can do this Krystal, you can do this - I repeated to myself like a mantra.

I twisted the knob.

Time seemed to move in slow motion as the door swung open, revealing a sunlit, yet empty view before me.

I wasn't sure whether I was disappointed or overjoyed that he wasn't in my immediate view.

Taking in another deep breath, I began to run.

I was halfway to the door already and Minho still had yet to make an appearance. Was he even in the house still? More dread pilled in my stomach at the thought of having left. I'd rather live in awkwardness than without him. Yes, it was sad how attached I'd become to him in the few short days that I'd known him. 

Maybe that's why I'd kissed him last night.

In a few more metres I'd be-

Stopped.

I felt my entire frame freeze as it was pulled backwards and into a hard, yet padded object.

I think I forgot how to breath.

Minho's arms were tightly wound around my waist, forcing my back into his chest.

"Were you thinking of leaving without saying goodbye?" he asked me in a whisper, his lips mere millimetres from my ear. I shivered at out proximity. I could feel the rise and fall of his chest against my muscles and I was close enough to hear his intake of breath. I even thought I could feel his heartbeat.

"Well?" he teasingly asked and I shook my head.

"No... I just..." I mumbled, trying to clear the haze in my head, "Thought you were in the bathroom..." I lamely finished, struggling to calm my raging heart. I was pretty sure he could hear and feel its wild beating pattern.

"Really?" I could hear the mirth in his tone, "You do realize that you just stormed past me right?" he teased, "I even called your name, but you didn't seem to hear so I had to take more drastic measures." He emphasized his point by lightly squeezing my middle. I gasped softly, almost inaudibly, at the movement.

"I... I'm going to be late..." I exhaled, unable to really find my voice. I'd never been this close to man I liked so much before. Sure, Key often cuddled with me, but it didn't count. No, it didn't even compare to this. Key's hugs never caused such a reaction, never made every inch of skin tingle and my heart follow an unknown rhythm.

"Hmmm," Minho hummed in my ear, "I guess so..." he sounded disappointed, "I'll see you later though right?"

I could never say no to him.

"I'll come home as soon as I can."

I could imagine his smile.

"Then I'll see you soon Krystal," he spoke as he released me from his grip. Longing washed over me at the loss of his contact. I even had to keep back a shiver and stop myself from running into his arms again.

"Yeah," I told him, turning my head over my shoulder. His smile was more than I could imagine, "I'll see you soon."

And then, for the second time this morning, he caught me off guard as he leaned down to peck my forehead.

His lips lingered for mere seconds, but my eyes widened nonetheless. He grinned at my reaction.

"Just some extra motivation for today."

I left without a word because he'd just made me speechless.

- - - - -

"So what was so important that I had to make up an excuse to leave work?"

Key was before me, arms crossed and eyebrows raised as he waited for me to speak. I'd called him as soon as I'd left the house, not giving him a reason or anything, but simply telling him to meet me at a nearby park. I needed to talk to someone and well, he was the perfect candidate. Besides, due to his brotherly tendencies, he'd give me the best advice possible. Or, at least I hoped he would.

I sighed as I stopped my pacing, taking a moment to capture the picturesque scenery around me. It was busy this time of the morning in the park - people on their morning jogs, kids walking to school and other people walking their dogs. I even saw a couple or two.

"Krystal, don't avoid the question," Key's growl reached me, "Otherwise I'm going back to work. You know how busy the cafe is at this time of the morning. Poor Taemin and Jonghyun need me. Especially Jonghyun. You know he needs someone to keep him in line, otherwise he'd scare off all of our female customers due to his flirting."

I could hear the amusement in his voice at that and I knew that he wouldn't really leave. I never called him during work.

"I think I did something bad Key..." I exhaled out, slowly turning my head so that I could meet his piercing gaze.

"What do you mean?" Instantly his tone became concerned.

I sighed as I gathered my courage.

"I kissed Minho last night."

Well, I felt like I'd just achieved something.

It wasn't often that one could make Key speechless.

But the blonde haired male merely stared at me, his mouth slightly agape and his feline-like eyes wide. Thinking back to last night, I couldn't believe I'd done it either.

"And the weird thing is..." I paused as my body shivered thinking about the hug I'd shared with Minho this morning, "He seems to be responding. This morning, he didn't ask me about the kiss, but he didn't tell me off either. He hugged me, tightly and kissed my forehead before I left."

I heard Key mumble some curses under his breath, but otherwise, he still remained silent.

I'd never behaved like this before.

"Key..." I whispered, my eyes connecting with his, "He makes me want to be selfish."

Instead of answering, Key engulfed me in a hug.

I was crying before I even realized it.

I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

I'd finally admitted it.

In the few days I'd known Minho, he'd changed my entire mindset... my entire world. He made me want to be selfish and greedy, but only when it came to him.

Key soothingly rubbed circles onto my back as I wet his t-shirt. I'd apologize later for that, since he liked his shirts.

"What's wrong with me Key?" I asked in between sobs and sniffs, "I don't understand what's happening..."

"You know I can't answer that Krystal," he finally replied, "I wish I could, but that's something only you know."

I nodded into his chest.

I'd admitted that Minho made me want to be selfish, but that was all I'd admit for now.

"I should feel so guilty about this..." I whispered as my tears began to dry, "I mean, he's looking for someone right? I'm keeping him from that someone. I don't want him to leave, but I haven't even asked him if he wants to. I'm being so selfish..." I stopped as I wriggled myself free, "But I don't feel guilty at all."

Key reached out to wipe the wetness from my cheeks and I smiled at the tender action.

"I can't give you the right answer, but honestly, in the days you've known him... you've changed. Not physically, almost spiritually. You seem happier these days. You have a glow around you and for that... I'm grateful towards Minho."

My heart began to beat faster, "Really?" I repeated dumbly.

He nodded, "Really. He's a good thing for you. And they say you should hold on to those good things in your life."

"But what about-

A manicured finger was placed over my lips.

"No buts," he grinned, "For once in your life... be a little selfish. If he doesn't want to leave, then don't force him. He makes you happy, so keep him around for as long as he wants to stay ok?"

I could do nothing but nod.

"You really deserve this happiness Krystal."

My eyes widened.

"I mean it. You've given up so much for everyone else... you've even sacrificed your dreams for your parents. It's time you do something for yourself and being with him is the perfect opportunity."

"I... I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything... just do what you want."

Do what I want?

I felt my heart flutter.

Maybe... just maybe I would.

- - - - -

It was a few hours after I'd spoken to Key and I was finally home after attending my daily classes. Well, I was outside the door to my home that is.

Behind this door was Minho and I knew that by entering it, it would seal my decision.

For once, I was going to be a little selfish.

I inhaled deeply and reached out for the doorknob. The metal was cold in my hand, but the beating of my heart blocked out the sensation.

I was excited.

Excited to see him.

I turned the knob.

"I'm home," I gingerly called, a normal greeting, usually to silence.

But not today, not since Minho had come into my life.

"Welcome back Krystal."

And there he was, a few metres ahead of me with a smile curving his lips. He was happy I was home.

My own lips were graced with a smile and my heart began to flutter as I closed the door behind me.

I shuffled towards him, halting a metre before him.

Without hesitation, he opened his arms wide, inviting me in.

My smile increased as my body moved forward of its own accord and I wrapped my arms around his torso. He responded by snaking his arms around my body, pulling me closer to him.

I was engulfed by him.

I breathed in deeply.

It was an easy decision to make.

Today, I'd be selfish.

Tomorrow, I'd be selfish.

For as long as he was here, I'd be selfish. 

 - - - -

Well, there :3 You all have minhologist to thank for this chapter being released today :3 It was the motivation I needed to finish writing the chapter so thank you ^^ Well, finally! A relationship can start ^^ I hope nothing is too confusing *-* If it is, just let me know and I shall fix things!

Thank you for all the votes, comments and subscribes! You guys are amazing!

Much love <3