CHAPTER SEVENTEEN - -

- - it will all be ok, right?

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

. . .

You can do it, Krystal.

I nodded my head and bit my bottom lip. I could do this. I could open the door, knowing full well that Sulli was behind it. I could see her and we could talk. No, we needed to talk. Or so Jessica had said. That's why, the day after we'd visited my dad, she'd sent me back to my apartment.

"You two have to sort things out now. If you don't, it's simply going to fester and your friendship will break beyond the point of no return. I know you still want to be friends with her. Use this as a chance to start anew, a better friendship that'll last and won't be based on past misunderstandings."

Inwardly, I knew she was right. Sulli had been around since I was ten and well, it was a long period of time. We'd shared a lot of memories together and I didn't want that to all suddenly become bitter. However, a side of me didn't want to forgive her. A side of me wanted to never see her again and would be content with just leaving things as they were - broken.

I ran a hand through my locks and sighed, realizing that I needed to do something.

I steeled myself as I placed my hand on the doorknob.

And then, I turned it.

It was almost anti-climatic.

I'd been expecting Sulli to be right behind the door when I opened it, for her to greet me with surprised eyes. But it was empty in front of me, the apartment darkened by the lack of lights.

My eyes widened instead.

I slowly stepped inside and closed the door behind me, making sure my footfalls were soft as I shrugged my shoes off. The apartment seemed almost uninhabited and I frowned while walking through it. Was Sulli even here? I decided to be brave and check her room - only to furrow my brow when I found it empty.

This was strange.

Maybe she was out?

I relaxed my brow as I walked to my room. I might as well change my clothes while here since I'd been wearing Jessica's. My door was closed when I got to it and I opened it without much thought. I was expecting a mess. I don't think I made the bed or cleaned up before I stormed out a few days ago. I was already dreading clearing up.

I wasn't expecting a person amongst the ruffled sheets though.

I definitely wasn't expecting Sulli.

I was so shocked that when I opened my mouth, no words came. My throat was acrid and my voice box devoid of a voice. Instead, a strained croak broke free and it was enough to catch Sulli's attention.

She quickly sat up from the bed and wiped her eyes. My heart lurched at the thick lines running down her cheeks. It was almost as if she hadn't cleaned them since we'd fought. I bit my bottom lip as I caught sight of her bed ruffled locks. Had she been in my room the entire time?

So many questions passed through my mind as we made eye-contact.

Pitiful.

Utterly pitiful.

And just like that, all anger I'd felt vanished as I sighed and made my way over to the disgruntled girl. She was taken aback at my actions, even backing away as I sat on the edge of the bed.

"Krystal..." she mumbled, but before she could say more I interrupted-

"Come with me."

I wasn't particularly commanding, but Sulli soon scrambled out of the bed and I motioned for her to come. We padded to the bathroom, where I showed her to sit on the edge of the tub. She obeyed without protest and I immediately began to wet a nearby face cloth. When that was done, I turned to her. She frowned slightly upon noticing the wet cloth, but she voiced no protest. I slowly crouched to her level and tentatively began to dab at the black lines on her face.

Sulli's eyes widened and I could see how they questioned me, but I chose to ignore it as I continued my work.

"Should a model be looking like this? Is this a new concept?" I tried to ease the silence by joking. However, neither of us laughed.

The situation was too absurd really.

Gradually, my dabbing turned into scrubbing as I became focused on removing the black marks. They were rather stubborn and it must've been that water-proof mascara or something. I was tempted to write a letter to the company and tell them just how well their product worked.

I was pleased that the junk finally seemed to be coming off though.

Just like the tension between us.

I felt relief almost flowing through me as all the anger, insecurity and confusion between us seemed to dissipate.

I still cared about her and we were still friends at the end of the day. I wasn't a person who could just throw that all away.

All we had to do now was find another way to start our friendship, another way to make it work and keep it working.

"I'm sorry."

I smiled at the girl and nodded my head, "Me too," I softly replied as I removed the last of the black stains.

"Good as new," I said as I placed the cloth into the sink. I then stood up and extended my hand to Sulli, offering her help to get up.

She hesitantly took my hand, but accepted my gesture.

"I promise I'm going to try harder," she said with a slight edge in her voice, like she meant it. This warmed my heart.

"Don't try harder, just be yourself," I replied as I embraced her, "That's all I want. Be yourself and like what you want to like. You don't have to copy me. I promise that being Choi Jinri will be ok."

Well, Jessica seemed to be right about this one. I could feel Sulli's frame trembling in my arms, like she was trying to hold back tears she couldn't.

"You can cry you know," I told her, "At least now you won't smudge any  more mascara," I lightly joked with her as I ran my hands through her locks. They were slightly matted together and I tried my best not to pull too hard on the strands.

I really had missed talking to her.

She'd been in my life for a long time and we'd shared many good memories together. No matter how much I told myself that I could easily brush her off, I couldn't.

And that's when I felt my own tears brewing.

It was all going to be ok.

- - - - -

"Are you sure that this is ok?"

I nodded and smiled reassuringly as Sulli and I stood in front of Onew's chicken restaurant. After cleaning up, I'd decided to put an end to the tension once and for all. I was going to re-introduce her to Minho.

I bit my bottom lip as I reaffirmed my decision. If one wanted to make a change, you had to be a change right?

I'd messaged Key earlier and had told him that we were coming and to tell Minho. He replied questioningly, but he said that Minho was fine to meet her.

"He's important to me and so are you, so you two have to meet," I told her positively as I placed a hand on her shoulder, "Besides, I think you'd get along well." I did really think that since I deemed it hard for anyone not to be able to get along with Minho. He was simply so happy-go-lucky and easy that I didn't think he knew how to fight with anyone.

"Thank you," Sulli simply said and I felt better.

I said nothing as I began leading us inside.

Taemin was the first to greet us as he whizzed past, holding a tray of dishes. He even offered Sulli a friendly smile despite their history. I even noted Sulli's timid response and I thought that maybe, just maybe, she still harboured feelings for him. But that was a mission for another day.

Key was next to say hello as he wasn't busy.

"Minho is in the back," he said softly as he hugged me, "He should be out in a moment. I told him that I'd take his tables for a bit while you all talked." I squeezed him gratefully as we released our hug.

"It's nice to see you Jinri," he then turned to her, smiling felinely at her. Key used her real name due to the fact that they weren't that close. He always said that he'd call her Sulli when they got closer, but they never really did.

"It's been awhile Kibum," she returned formally. It didn't really help that Sulli had gone out with Taemin, Key's baby, and they'd broken up. Key really was like a mother to the young boy and anyone who was mean to his little darling, probably wasn't a favourite in Key's books. Yet, he put me above himself and was always civil to her. I was eternally grateful for that and I wished that there were more people like him in the world.

"You guys can go sit over there," he motioned to a table in a more secluded area and I nodded while walking to the designated area. Sulli followed without prompt and we made ourselves at home in the comfy booth.

I'd always liked how Onew had designed the restaurant, giving it a slightly Old West feel with booth seating areas and wooden furniture.

"Hello ladies and welcome. Can I get you any drinks?"

I was surprised by the familiar voice and I immediately turned my head. Minho stood at the booth, notepad in hand, smile on his lips as he acted like a proper waiter in front of me. I couldn't help but smile at him, it was a natural reaction, and I found him to be rather cute like this.

Without answering, I quickly stood up and embraced him. My leg was awkwardly against the table, but I didn't really care. He chuckled and quickly returned the gesture, pulling me close. In the beginning, I was adverse to such public affection, but now I adored it.

"How's your day been?" I asked as we pulled apart, "No harassment right?"

"Just one incident," Minho replied and my eyes widened.

"Was it those high school girls again?"

"No, this old lady hit my when she left the restaurant."

I couldn't help but laugh as I imagined a wry old lady tapping his backside on her way out. I could then imagine Minho's mortified face as he realized what was happening. I actually would've loved to have witnessed the scene.

"Krystal," he pouted, "You aren't meant to laugh."

I held my hand to my mouth in order to hide some of my mirth, "Sorry, sorry." (The tune came to my head as I uttered those words.)

He simply rolled his eyes and finally turned his attention to Sulli. She'd been quiet throughout our entire exchange and she sat like an outsider at the booth.

Now was the time.

"Minho, I'd like you to meet my roommate, Choi Jinri. But we all call her Sulli."

Both seemed confused at first. After all, I'd introduced them already, hadn't I? While that was true, I wanted to begin anew. I wanted to erase what'd happened last time and replace it with pleasant memories.

Minho caught on first and he bowed accordingly, "It's nice to meet you Jinri."

Sulli's eyes widened, but she too seemed to understand. She inclined her head.

"It's nice to meet you too Minho," her voice was soft, "But please, call me Sulli. Any friend of Krystal's is a friend of mine."

Friends.

I smiled at the word.

It was all going to be ok, wasn't it?

- - - - -

Krystal.

I don't like doing this to you.

But there's so much that has happened... I'm so attached that I don't think I want to risk it anymore.

Maybe if I'd told you right from the start, I wouldn't be doubting myself so much right now. Maybe if I'd told you, we wouldn't even be where we are right now. I might still be wandering around... or I might've given up already.

I would've never found what I was looking for.

I don't want to tell you.

You look at me with such admiration in your eyes... like I'm your hero, or your angel. I never want you to change that viewpoint. I never want your eyes to scorn me.

Just like hers did.

But I can't keep doing this to you either. How can I expect you to love me, when you don't know everything about me? How can I love you fairly like that?

But this dark secret of mine...

...

I should just trust, right God?

Everything will work out.

It will be ok.  

- - - - 

Firstly, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my readers <3 I hope 2014 is your year and that you are all blessed beyond words!

Secondly, I'm so sorry this is late. I've been absorbed into a game and it stole my time and I'm sorry >< I will be forcing myself to write more for you all ^^ This chapter isn't too interesting, except for the end right? =P Tell me, what is this dark secret? I wanted to let you all know something more about Minho so here ^^ Tell me your thoughts! 

<3