CHAPTER FIFTEEN - -

- - human

"You've changed Krystal."

Those words. They were here once again.

"I don't think I even know you anymore..." she whimpered and I could see a fresh bout of tears coming, but Sulli was trying her best to keep them at bay.

I frowned at her words though.

"What do you mean?" I asked cautiously, looking up to meet her eyes.

"Do I really need to explain?" she half pleaded as the first tear escaped. I almost wanted to reach out and wipe it away, along with the black mess on her cheeks, but I restrained myself.

A moment of silence enveloped us and I felt the world around me blank out.

When I said nothing, Sulli took this as her cue, "You've really just changed."

I frowned and I began to feel irritation brewing. I'd had a troubling day as it is and I really didn't feel like dealing with a broken record right now.

"How so?" I asked, almost challengingly.

She seemed taken aback by the harsh edge in my tone, "I don't know you anymore."

I clenched my fist.

"Have you ever known me?" I almost spat. All the self-pity from earlier on in the day had developed into anger. I didn't have the patience to coddle her today and quite honestly, I wanted to be alone. I had enough on my plate as it is, I really didn't have time for this petty drama of hers. Was she mad because I wasn't paying as much attention to her like I normally would?

Her eyes widened, "We've grown-

"I don't mean like that," I cut her off, "Just because we've spent a lot of time together, doesn't mean that you know me," I paused, "Do you even know what my favourite colour is?"

Whether she knew or not, she didn't reply.

"See? You can't even answer something so simple," I shook my head, "I've always just been the person who gives you attention. Now that it's gone... you can't stand it, can you?" I wasn't sure where all this bravery was coming from, "All you want me for is... stuff. Through the years, all you've ever done is take and take. Now that you can't anymore, you're distressed, aren't you?"

The look on her face proved it all.

I wasn't sure whether to feel satisfaction or bitterness. Sometimes, being right isn't a pleasant thing.

"It's not like that..." she whimpered, trying to clear some of the tears, "I always thought that you never minded..."

I hung my head, "I never did at first. Until it became a thing of yours and you just took it for granted. You know I can't say no and you took advantage of that."

"I'm sorry."

I almost laughed.

Almost.

"Sorry eh?" I repeated, "Are you?" Maybe I was taking a bit too far.

"I am!" she exclaimed, "So please... stop ignoring me... don't act like I don't exist anymore!" she paused, "Ever since you've been seeing that Minho guy you've become like this!"

I felt my defences prick up at the mention of Minho's name.

"He has nothing to do with this," I told her quickly, narrowing my eyes.

"He has! Ever since I met him when I came back from the modelling week you've been like this... you've been avoiding me." Her voice softened toward the end and I could hear the sorrow in it.

"Sulli... haven't you heard anything I've said?" I asked, "Of how I'm sick and tired of being treated like your treasure chest?"

"Did he tell you that?" her voice had now become angrier, "Krystal... was he someone I dated in the past?" I felt my heart nearly stop in shock, "If he is, then I can't help but feel that this is his way of getting revenge on me. So you should stop dating him and-

Slap.

Sulli stood there motionless before slowly, tentatively, she brought a hand to rest on her cheek - where I'd just slapped her.

The tables had now turned and I was the one with tears streaming down my cheeks while Sulli was mortified.

"Krystal... what?"

I clenched my fists again, "Can you not even remember all the men you've dated?" I asked rhetorically, "Are they so unimportant that you can't even remember their names? Not even the ones that I liked too? Did you take them from me for no reason?"

She didn't answer.

"Everything has to be about you, doesn't it?" I shook my head, "You just can't imagine the world not revolving around you, can you?"

Still no answer.

"And you can't bear the fact that I don't fawn at your feet anymore, can you?"

This time, I didn't wait for an answer as I stormed passed her. I didn't have anything else to say to her and I didn't want to be here right now.

I'd had enough.

- - - - -

"You really slapped her?"

"Cat fight!"

"Donghae..." Jessica and I both sighed out at his comments, shaking our heads in unison. Really, men could be so strange at times...

"But, yes, I really slapped her," I replied as I wiped the remnants of my tears from my face. I was glad that I didn't wear thick makeup, otherwise my face would be a mess right now.

After my fight with Sulli, I stormed out of the apartment and had kept walking and walking and walking, my mind reeling and my heart hurt. After about half an hour, I'd calmed down somewhat and realized that I didn't have my cellphone on me, but luckily I'd seen the signboards and relief had flooded me because I was close to where Jessica lived. It was also a blessing that she was home and not on duty. This of course meant that Donghae was here, but I was starting to get very used to him.

Jessica had seen that I was upset as soon as I knocked on the door, while Donghae greeted me as though I looked normal. It had helped though, simply because he had a smile that could cheer up the Grinch.

After that, I'd proceeded to tell Jessica all about the fight and she'd listened with an intense expression. Donghae had made coffee and the warm drink was exactly what I needed. It'd been cold outside and I wasn't wearing anything particularly warm.

"Wow, I can't believe all of that happened..." Jessica said as soon as I was finished, "Well, I sort of expected it at some point, but definitely not now."

I raised my eyebrows, "You expected it?"

"Yeah..." she half smiled, "Sulli tries to be like you so much that I knew it'd eventually cause a fight."

Wait.

What?

Sulli tried to be like me?

Jessica poked my cheek upon noticing my expression, "I know you find that hard to believe, but it's true."

"How?" I breathed out, still trying to figure it out.

"Well, she takes things from you right?" I nodded, "Have you ever asked yourself why?" I shook my head, "Because she thinks that by having those things, she'll be like you. She thinks that what makes you happy, will make her happy, that's why she keeps doing it. Poor girl, it just shows that she doesn't like herself so much that she has to cling on to what others are in order to feel good."

It made sense, but I still didn't want to believe that it applied to me.

Sulli wanted to be me?

"But why?"

"Are you kidding me?" it was Donghae that spoke this time, "If I didn't have Jessica, I'd be ardently chasing you," he joked as he placed an arm around my shoulder.

I blushed and Jessica rolled her eyes at her boyfriend.

"You're beautiful Krystal," Donghae's voice had tone down now and it was so sincere that I blushed harder.

Jessica nodded in agreement, "And you work hard. You're a nice person to everyone and you're like by your peers. You also seem so collected and steady... Those are qualities people want because half the time, their lives are so messed up that all they want is boring stability. Sulli's mom committed suicide right?"

I bit my lip as I remembered her telling me the story. It hadn't been pleasant and I know that she still missed her mother a lot.

"I think it's from way back then. You always told me how dad's death had a numbing effect on you and you grieved silently... I think Sulli was jealous of this. How you both had lost a parent, but you seemed to be ok. So, I think she then tried to imitate you in order to be ok... but it's just become habit for her now and she doesn't know how to be anyone else but a copy of you."

It was a lot to take in.

A lot.

But it all made sense.

A lot of it.

"I... understand," I exhaled and ran a hand through my loose locks. It'd still take a few days to sink in though.

"But..."

There was a 'but'?

"Sulli was right in some ways..."

Eh?

Jessica smiled nervously, "You have changed since meeting Minho. But, it's really not in a bad way. You've become stronger because you have something to fight for and you're standing up for yourself and you're doing things for yourself for once and I'm so happy that he's brought that... but..."

I prepared myself for the worst.

"But you're scared."

Well, that wasn't quite that I'd expected. I thought it'd be a 'you should break up with him. He's a bad influence' kind of a thing.

"You're so scared of losing him, that you're becoming overprotective. I don't blame you though because this is the first time you've ever had someone you've wanted for yourself."

That much was true.

"I'm very glad you've finally told Sulli about how you feel, but you did it in the wrong way. You shouldn't have avoided her like you did. Because even though she copied you, you were still her friend, probably best friend, and so for you to just cut her off like that, it must've been a shock to her system. This is what I meant by 'don't change too much' because you aren't mean. You don't do things like that to people."

The guilt was there before I could even try stop it. I finally understood now. I had changed too much... Normally, I would never ignore someone the way I'd ignored Sulli in the past few weeks and for no reason really. I usually worked on a policy of 'innocent until proven guilty' but I hadn't given that grace to Sulli.

Oh Krystal, Krystal, you really messed up... I mumbled to myself in my bed as I placed a hand over my heart. It was hurting, but from so many different things.

"I should apologize..." I whispered, "At least for ignoring her." Jessica smiled reassuringly as she squeezed my hand delicately.

"I'm sorry that all this had to happen now though... you've been through a lot, especially with tomorrow... being tomorrow."

I forced a bitter grin, "It's ok. Rather get it all out at once than have to wait and go through pain again and again right?"

"But lucky for you, we brought something that will make it all better," Donghae sang as his head appeared in the doorway. He had a sly smile curving his lips and I was inquisitive.

"What do you-

I didn't have to finish my sentence as Minho made himself known.

My heart lurched and I resisted the urge to jump up and run to him, throwing myself into his grip and hoping he'd made all the pain go away.

"He called us earlier, saying you were upset after he'd dropped you off at home. He then told us to let us know if you contacted us and well... I called him as soon as you arrived and he came when you two were busy talking. I let him in, but he asked to listen to the whole story before he made an appearance," Donghae explained as they both came into view.

"You were that worried about me?" I asked the country boy as soon as he was a few centimetres in front of me. He didn't reply immediately as he my cheek soothingly.

"Of course," he half-whispered, "Onew even sent me off early."

A timid smile graced my lips at this and he returned the gesture.

It was enough to make me forget everything for a moment.

"Minho... why did all of this happen to me?"

It was later in the night, when him and I were alone in Jessica's spare bedroom when I asked him that question. The lights were out and him and I lay on our sides, staring at each other much like that day at the Gardens. Neither of us had spoken until now, but I didn't mind, his presence alone was enough.

"I can't answer that," he said wistfully as he reached out and placed his hand atop mine in between our bodies, "I wish I could, but I can't."

"Do you think I'm a bad person?" he frowned as soon as the words left my lips, "I mean... I forgot my dad's anniversary and did mean things to Sulli... that's what a bad person does right?"

His hand moved to my cheek.

"You aren't a bad person."

Those words reassured me more than anything.

"If those kind of things made you a bad person, everyone in the world would be a bad person," he said assertively, "Those things make you human. I'm really sure your dad doesn't mind because he probably doesn't want you to be sad when you go to see him. And also... it's just a day if you think about it. Sure something specific happened on that day, but it also could've happened on any other day. And with Sulli... that too is ok. You were mean, but it's only because you were scared. Fear makes us do silly things, but it doesn't make us bad people."

He really did have all the answers.

But he had to have experience to have them and I saw emotion flash through his dark orbs when he spoke.

"Thank you," I said softly as I shifted myself closer to him, "I really don't know what I'd do without you."

The emotion in his eyes died as his smile lit up his face, even in this darkness, "Well, the same goes for me."

"Liar," I joked, "I've brought you nothing but trouble."

"Who says I didn't want that?"

I rolled my eyes and a thought came to me.

"Oh yeah! What were you going to ask me earlier today? Before all of this happened?"

He paled.

"You remember?" that nervousness was back again.

I nodded.

"Well..." he sighed, "I guess there's no getting out of it now..." He adjusted his position slightly and looked me dead in the eye.

My breath hitched.

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

Soaring.

This is what it felt to be soaring, I was pretty sure of it.

"Yes," I answered without hesitation and the pure joy that enveloped his face was worth it.

I was suddenly pulled into him, but I didn't mind, even letting myself giggle as I buried my face in the crook of his neck, "Why did you ever think I'd say no?" I asked him as his arms settled around me.

"I don't know..." he mumbled and I rolled my eyes before allowing them to close. I was drained after today.

Absolutely drained.

But somehow, the day had managed to end well. I was pretty sure that this is what you called a miracle and I sent a quick 'thank you' to God as a token of my appreciation.

Sleep came easy.

And I was pretty sure I heard Minho mumble something as I was drifting off.

...

"Soon... I promise I'm going to take you away from here... from this heartache. I promise."

And double update <3 Well, for me it's still in the same day xD Well, I hope you all got some answers here and that everything made sense :3 I can tell you that a lot of this chapter comes from personal experience >< So, I sort of know what I'm talking about, I just hope I conveyed it well ^^ To be honest, this story is loosely based off of a true story o.o But, enough. I hope you all enjoyed and thank you once again for all your wonderful words! I love them all and I can't believe this story has over 300 comments, 44 upvotes and 119 subscribers. I am amazed. 

And the word document for this story is on 101 pages. 

I'll update soon!