Author’s POV

True to his word, Jiyong became really preoccupied by the family business. His father was personally overseeing his training as the next CEO. He barely gets to hang out with his friends for he stays in the office most of the time. His hands are always full because of the financial woes the company is currently facing.

The very moment he opened the files in his office on his first day of work, he knew right there and then the vast difference between real world and the concepts and theories he aced in the university. All those while in college, he thought he can conquer everything after graduation. He didn’t really expect business to be this challenging and stressful. Add up to that is his personal issues with Dara as well as his relationship with his appa. There are a lot of decisions that he and his appa do not agree about so they end up having arguments, making him really frustrated.

 Although he feels the drastic change in his life now, he has to face it head on.

He heaved a deep sigh as he looked past the window of his office, the snow heavily pouring outside. Even though he finds it really hard to manage his full schedule, he still tries his very best to squeeze in some time for Dara. During his first month of work, he still picked her up every morning to drive her to school. He also made sure to spend dinner at her home or take her out on a date at least once a week. But now that he’s on his fourth month at work, his time for her became lesser and lesser. He only gets to see her once or twice a week and that’s driving him nuts.

Whenever his close friends open a topic about Dara, they never fail to ask him how he hasn’t given up despite having a slim chance on her. In all honesty, it is not only once did he think of giving up. He’s a human too. Of course he gets tired too. He wants to have a girlfriend, just like any other normal guy. Someone who would love him in return and make him feel the happiest. Who doesn’t?

Just like the last time they went on a vacation, right at that moment when he kissed her, he knew he's still in the long way to win her. He almost gave up... but every time he feels like giving up, he remembers the very reason why he has endured waiting for so many years ---Dara’s bright and smiling face looking at him full of concern, the memories they shared since they were kids, and they’re playful bantering among many other memories.  They were inseparable...so connected. He never felt so drawn towards another girl except her. The only person he can show the real him – childlike or whatever have him. He can’t see himself being with any other girl but Dara…that’s how much he loves her. Only Dara can bring out the best of him because he feels his best when he’s with her. No one could make him feel happier, make him so comfortable, and make his heart race wildly against his chest. As cliché and cheesy as it may sound, no words could really express how much love he feels for her, the many things he want to experience with her, the many thoughts he wants to share with her.

His thoughts drifted to that fateful day when he was first rejected by Dara.

“I just can’t see myself being your girlfriend or something. I’m too comfortable with you as a friend and I want to keep it that way.” She said while looking past the Han river. I was dumbfounded.

It took me a while before I managed to speak. “I don’t want to stop. Even if you don’t believe me, even if you love someone else, even if you push me away, I won’t stop.” I said with finality.

“Jiyong, please don’t be stubborn. You know that… that I don’t love you… right?” She looked at me, sadness obvious in her eyes.

“Yes. But I’m not pressuring you to return my feelings. We’ll take it easy, Dara. For now, I just want you to feel and understand how serious I am of my feelings for you. That’s enough for me.”

She abruptly faced me, looking me in the eye. “What if I won’t ever fall for you? Can you take it? Because I can’t Jiyong… you know I would never want to hurt you. My guilt will only consume me if I’d hurt you more and more.” She tried to convince me. Her face is full of worry. But I have really decided to pursue her no matter what. And there's no turning back. 

Since then until now, he’s aware that Dara is also having a difficult time of her own. She never failed to tell him how she doesn’t want him to get even more hurt if he’d continue on. But he remained unfazed, persistent. He believes that if he’d prove her how much he loves her, she might have a change of heart.

He stared at the document in front of him. Damn. Just remembering her just like now makes him want to see her at that very moment.

He leaned back on his seat and massaged his temples. The argument he just had with his appa made him so weary. The gloomy and cold weather is also making him feel lonelier.

He settled on his seat and took another look at the paper, weighing in his mind if it could still wait for tomorrow. When he decided that he can just work on it in the morning, he immediately stood up and took his leave.

He checked his wrist watch. It was already past 10 in the evening but he knows that she’s still awake by this time. He can just visit her at home and talk to her for a while. He’ll bargain for even just 30 minutes to spend time with her. He was about to call her on the phone to inform her about his visit but he decided otherwise. He pursed his lips into a tight smile. He will surprise her.

After reaching the parking lot, he got inside his car and sped off. He’s excited to see her, his hold in the stirring wheel tightened, if only he can reach her in a minute or so, he definitely would. He grinned widely with the thought of finally seeing her again.

When he reached her house, he parked his car in the farthest corner of the open lot and then stepped out hurriedly. He then silently scolded himself for coming empty handed. He totally forgot to bring flowers or anything because of too much excitement. He was about some few meters away when the front door suddenly opened. He stopped on his tracks, peering in the dark, curiously wondering who it is. He was left astounded when he saw Donghae stepping out of the door, followed closely by Dara.

Jiyong saw Donghae rubbed his hands together and cupped her face, giving it warm. He didn’t miss seeing her flushed face when he touched them. Dara quickly turned her head away, embarrassed by her reaction. Donghae then moved his hand and fixed her hair, tucking it behind her ears. Jiyong felt a sudden and painful tug in his heart.

His eyes widen when he saw Donghae slowly leaning towards Dara. His heart throbbed in pain; it’s almost unbearable to watch.

He saw red. The pain turned into anger and jealousy. He stepped out from his hiding and dashed towards the two, stopping Donghae to whatever he is planning to do. He reached for Donghae’s shoulder and made him turn around, not missing the shocked faces of the two. Without wasting any second, he punched Donghae in the face…HARD, making the latter stumble on the cold ground. Dara was not able to react with the sudden appearance of Jiyong. When Dara saw Donghae trying to stand up, lips bleeding and bruised, she quickly faced Jiyong. Her eyes were full of revulsion.

“YAH! What’s wrong with you?” Dara hissed.

He didn’t listen and turned to Donghae again, lounging another attack. But Dara slapped him on the face hard. It was so hard, he felt his cheek sting.

That’s when everything dawned to Jiyong. Her seething voice pulled him out of surging jealousy. His fists are still balled, knuckles turning white. He doesn’t know why he did that. He just let his emotions take over him without having a chance to even think about it first. But he doesn’t regret doing it one bit. He stared at her in the eyes.

“WHAT? Speak up!” Dara exclaimed.

He felt his heart sank upon seeing Dara’s reaction. He then looked away, not able to take the furious and dirty look Dara is giving him.

“I’m---I’m sorry. I just couldn’t take how he’s taking advantage of you.” It was the lamest excuse he was able to come up with, and he knows it.  

“How can you say that he’s taking advantage of me? You are not in the position to say that!” She cried out.

That hurt big time. Every word is like a thousand needles piercing his heart. “But Dara---“ He tried to explain.

 “If you don’t have a better explanation, you better leave. I don’t want to see you anytime soon. You disgust me.”  Her voiced were filled with bitterness. She then looked away and quickly came to Donghae’s aid, leading him inside the house to clean the wound.

"Dara, I just love you so much I don't know what to do anymore." He said helplessly. 

Dara stopped walking, Donghae on her left side. She was shaken by his declaration she felt her heartbeat skipped, but anger still overtook her. She gave him a side glance and then spoke lowly. "If this is how you show your love...then, I don't want it." She then walked towards the door, Donghae still on her side, observing her carefully.   

Jiyong was left outside, speechless. Hurt. ing hurt.  

He ran towards his car, feeling lonelier and defeated more than ever. Dara is the first person he wants to see when he’s happiest, when he’s in his lowest point, when he’s hurt. But now, she just pushed him away during the time when he needed her. He chuckled bitterly, tears spilling out. He screamed hard inside his car, letting all his anger, frustration and hurt out. He can longer contain all the feelings that bottled up inside him. He poured out all his emotions, he is broken…much more broken than ever. The feelings inside him that filed up for five long years are itching to come out. He sped off, drove as fast as he can. He drove and drove nonstop with no destination in mind. He hit the steering wheel so hard his hand might break, but he didn’t care. The tears in his eyes keep falling down; it’s almost blinding him. The racking pain is too much to bear, it's too much for him. 

Inside the house, two souls were quiet. Dara was tending Donghae’s wound, cleaning it carefully. He was just staring at her the whole time, studying her face.

She was focused on what she’s doing until she suddenly exhaled deeply.

"That jerk. He's really a pain in the sometimes." She said quietly. Donghae was kinda flusterred upon hearing her. He eyed her again, roaming her face. He noticed how her eyes then turned misty. She stopped treating him and bowed down. She can no longer hide her pain. Tears continuously rolled out in her pretty face. Jiyong is really important to her, but he’s turned out like a different person all because of her. 

“Dara.” Donghae said softly, lifting her head, wiping the tears staining her cheeks.

She sniffed. “I’m sorry.” She turned away and then wiped her tears that are pouring nonstop. 

He gazed at her, waiting for her to continue. 

 “Forgive Jiyong. He’s not really violent. He wouldn’t even hurt a fly, chincha. Please forgive him.” She pleaded, tears spilling uncontrollably.

He heaved a deep sigh. “You should forgive him too.” Donghae meaningfully said.

Dara moved away from Donghae and settled on her seat, head bowed again. She clenched the hem of her dress. “His love is suffocating me.” She sobbed.

“Ssshhhhhh.” He cooed.

“It’s been hard for me too. I’m hurting too whenever I reject him, you know. He is my best friend...of course I care for him very much. But this is just too much." She sobbed again. He then placed his arm around her, comforting her. But deep inside, his heart also aches hearing her every sob.

"I shouldn’t be mad at him…my heart, I feel like it’s going to burst.” She clasped her chest. She pursed her lips, trying to stiffle her sobs.

Donghae settled on his seat beside her. He gently her back, trying to calm her. He stared ahead, heaved a sigh, and then tossed his hair. He’s in deep thought and he’s having a hard time deciding whether to tell her or not. He chose to remain silent. 

“I slapped him, I hurt him, I said things I don't really mean. I hurt him...” She whispered repetitively, gasping.

Another week passed and the two have not contacted each other yet. Jiyong was really restless for the whole week that passed. He can’t face Dara because he felt ashamed of what he did. But more than that, he doesn’t know if he can still bear the pain if he’ll see her. He can’t, however, really stand not seeing her for so long too. So he’s very conflicted. He ruffled his hair in frustration. He can’t concentrate at work and it’s worsening the condition of the business.

Dara, on the other hand, seems lifeless. She doesn’t talk much and always staring at something far away, detached. Even her father can’t knock some sense to her because she always refuses to confide.

She was one day invited by Donghae to have a coffee. He brought her to Blends Café, much to Dara’s surprise.

When they got in, memories of Jiyong flooded her. She felt uneasy, she felt like crying but she can’t explain why. When they settled on their seats, Donghae just stared at her. A full minute has passed without any of them talking. He broke the silence.

“What would you like to have?” He asked.

“Anything.” She answered plainly.

“All right. I’ll just check the counter.” He informed her, she just nodded in return.

When Donghae came back with their food, he smiled at her. “How are you?”

“Good.” She answered weakly, head low.

He looked away to hide his pained expression. She’s always lost when she’s with him. He noticed her blank expression again, and her vacant stare.

“You’re thinking of Jiyong-ssi?” He slowly said as he gulped the lump in his throat upon saying his name. He was studying her expression closely when he saw the sudden change in her expression. He didn’t miss how her gaze suddenly faltered and her face slightly light up, like she was pulled from her reverie.

“Mwo?” She asked, lifting her head.

“Nothing. I sai--- said nothing.” He sipped his latte. It tasted bitter in his mouth.

“Ahhh.” She said and sipped her drink too, lifelessly. They remained silent for the whole time, no one bothering to speak.

Dara’s silence and passiveness are killing him slowly—gone is the animate and cheerful Dara. She has changed. When he can no longer take it, he decided to spill what’s been bugging him for so long.

 “Jiyong loves you so much. He loves you so much I don’t think I can ever measure up.” Donghae said honestly, earning Dara’s interest. She lifted her head, meeting his eyes.

He knows he would regret saying it soon but he can’t stand seeing Dara like this. He loves Dara too! Hell, he loves her very much he waited for so long to come back to her again. He’s been doing his best to make up for the lost time. Since they met again in Hawaii, he’s been asking for her forgiveness--for courting her then, only to leave her hanging. He’s trying to win her heart but he finds it hard do so now. And he pretty much has an idea why. She is just too accustomed to her relationship with Jiyong that she might have not realized something all along.

In all honesty, he wanted to believe that Dara still loves him the way she loved him then. But something is not right. Something is always bothering him every time they go out together. In every occasion, questions keep hunting him. What is Jiyong really to Dara? He always thought of that, it’s almost killing him inside. As of now, he just wants her to realize something about her feelings for Jiyong. Even it means he’ll be left broken.

He settled on his seat, meeting her curious eyes. “You are just not aware of it. But I believe that you love Jiyong too. You just don’t realize it yet, or maybe you have realized it, you just don’t accept it. But you do.” He paused, gulping an indescribable lump on his throat. He was feeling defeated. “You do.” He whispered, head bowed down.

 “But it’s you that I…it’s you that I… I---- like.” She stuttered.  

“See? You can’t even say it. You like me, I know. But you don’t love me. I can feel it. I can feel your discomfort when you’re with me. How you lose concentration, how you suddenly space out when you’re with me. How you would occasionally smile just because you remember him. ”

“I don’t understand.” She said.

“Believe me. I know! I know because that’s how I am when I’m not with you. That’s because I’m sure I love you.” He stared at her, his eyes full of hurt.

“Oppa.” She said. He turned away; every passing minute is hurting him more.

“You should know something else about Jiyong.” He paused, edgy.

She looked at him quizzically.

“That day when I started avoiding you, actually…” He trailed. “He asked me to stop seeing you.”

Dara was flabbergasted. All that while that she was hurting so much because of Donghae, Jiyong didn’t mention anything.

“He what?” Her attention is fully on him now. He can’t believe what she’s hearing. How can Jiyong do that to her? Her brows were creasing from shock, confusion and disbelief.

“But before you get angry, hear me out first.” Donghae balled his fist on his lap.

She exhaled.

He breathed out loudly before he started. “When he first approached me, it is to tell me that your appa does not want you to be in a relationship anytime soon. He told me that you were supposed to make things official between us and he wants to stop it in every way he can because he wants to protect you. I told him that it’s up to you to decide. I told him that I would accept whatever your decision would be and it’s not for the two of us to decide. I was ready to leave him but he told me something that made me stop. He suddenly told me he’s ready to give up his position as the class valedictorian. He said he’d lay low on our exams so that I’d be on the advantage.”

Shock was written all over Dara’s face. She was rendered speechless. Her hands were trembling. How could Jiyong do that for her? She knows how important that recognition to Jiyong and his family. Her mind was clouded with thoughts, she felt like crying. She cannot take the revelations slowly unfolding before her.

Donghae slowly lowered his gaze. “He told me to just postpone my courting and wait until you graduate. To wait for a year is all he asked in exchange of the position we both covet. And I---”

 “You chose the award.” She was feeling a bitter taste in .

“Yeah. I did.” He paused, he cannot meet her eyes. He’s too ashamed. “My appa has been pressuring me to do well on my studies and I thought that with Jiyong’s proposition, it’s a good bargain he’s offering. I can still pursue you in the next few years anyway.” He paused, fist still clenching hard.  

“Then why didn’t you?” She asked.

“After graduation, I felt really embarrassed. I wasn’t proud of what I did. Of robbing away that honor that I do not really deserve. I cannot even look at you in disgrace. I feel really ashamed because of my greed. I thought that I wasn’t worthy of your love that is why I decided to move away and study abroad.”

She remained silent after his confession. He slowly lifted his head and he saw her expression, it’s a mix of repugnance, disbelief, and frustration.

“I have been selfish. Mian. Mianhe.” Donghae said sincerely.   

She exhaled audibly. She has a tired look on her face.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“The same reason that Jiyong kept this from you.” He paused. “I don’t want you to hate and leave me.”

 “I don’t know what to say. Why didn’t anyone ever mention this to me?” She was starting to get agitated.

“I was supposed to say this that night you were crying. But I decided against it. I thought maybe I can still win you back. But I guess I’m too late. I came back too late.” He is trying to fight the tears that are threatening to fall down. By saying these things, it only means that I’m letting her go, right? He thought to himself.

Some minutes passed and both were enveloped with silence.

Jiyong was having a night out with Yongbae. Their other friends are all busy attending either their private lives or business. He was drinking quietly when Yongbae spoke to him.

“What’s wrong? You seem offbeat.” He asked.  

“I had an argument with Dara.” He gulped down his beer in one go.

Yongbae looked at him curiously. “Is it serious?”

“Very.”

“So, what are you plans now?”

“I don’t have any.” He answered flatly, taking Yongbae aback.  

“So, it’s really serious huh.”

“Uhuh.” He answered and then took another drink, tossing it lightly in his hand, staring at it.   

“When will you see her again?” Yongbae asked further.  

“Not in the near future.” He sighed. “We both need space. I need to rethink about many things. Besides, I have our business to think about.”

“How is it going with the company?”

“Not good. I didn’t know at first that we are having some grave financial issues. The profit is dwindling and the board is panicking.” He slumped on his seat, tired.  

“You can manage it. You always do.” Yongbae tried to cheer him on.  

“Yeah. I hope so.”  Jiyong answered lowly, closing his eyes for a moment.

“So, going back to Dara.” He trailed. Jiyong raised one brow, waiting for him to continue. “Are you finally giving up?” Yongbae finished, not that he wants him to give up. Just curious.  

Jiyong thought deeply before he answered. “I don’t know.” He said, shrugging his shoulders.  

“Wahhh. That’s something new.” Yongbae said amusingly. “Tell me, who are you? What did you do to my buddy Jiyong? Bring him back.” He nudged Jiyong lightly, in awe at his passive response.  

But Jiyong just looked at him, bored. That’s when Yongbae realized that Jiyong is really serious.

Yongbae shook his head in disbelief. “Tch. You always say no.”

Jiyong then sighed again, feeling exhausted. “I’m almost reaching my saturation point. But I don’t really want to give up.”  

“Looks like ‘persistence’ is really your middle name.” He smiled at him gently.

Jiyong just chuckled bitterly. “More like ‘rejection’.”  

“Oh. Come on.” Yongbae snorted.

Jiyong didn’t say anything in response and just gulped the alcohol he’s holding, staring at the crowd dancing in the center of the club.

Yongbae stared at the crowd too, but he was surprised when Jiyong suddenly spoke while still staring at the busy crowd.

“I need some time off from here. I have to focus on the business. I will stay abroad for a month or two to talk with the prospective investors. I will leave two weeks from now, just tell the others. Hmmm??” He said and then stood up, leaving him curious.

A/N:

Jiyong is all set for business now. What’s going to happen to both of them then? Hmmmm…

Please leave your comments. I feel inspired whenever you do. Kamsahamnida! Pyonnngggg!

P.S. I re-read this chapter and I wasn't really contented. But I promise to make the next chapter better than this one. I'll update again tomorrow. :)