Hyukjae’s POV

“It’s kind of cute.”

Did I just say that? Oh god, why? It just slipped out by accident.

Donghae blushed to the tips of his ears and he looked utterly adorable, but I didn’t want to have that slip out again so I literally placed my hand over my mouth. I hope he doesn’t think of my as some creep. I swear I’m not!

But gosh, did he look cute.

He was soaked from his little dip in the lake when he fell in. His shirt was clinging to his skin leading down to the rest of him that disappeared into the water. His hair was hanging in front of his face, dropping crystal droplets onto his cheeks that were still red from my comment just now, and his big brown eyes were looking down into the water, avoiding me.

Geez, now I’m staring at him.

Just then, a cool breeze came blowing across the lake and I shivered as it hit my wet skin. Donghae did the same and he pouted, bringing his hands up to wrap around his torso.

“Maybe we should get out now,” he said, blinking up at me through his wet hair.

I nodded in agreement since I didn’t want him catching a cold or anything, and we both headed slowly over to the edge of the lake.

Stepping out, Donghae shook his head, trying to get some of the excess water out of his hair like a puppy. The scene had me smiling. No matter what he did, everything just seemed so captivating.

Before he could catch me looking at him, I averted my gaze and stared down at my clothes that were still dripping wet. What to do about this?

… The only thing to do was strip out of our clothes and wait for them to dry.

My face heated up at the thought and I glanced up at Donghae to see him observing his own clothes, shaking slightly from the cold feeling. Snap out of it Hyukjae! Because of your stupidity, Donghae might get sick.

I cleared my throat and stared down at his bare feet resting between the lively green grass. “We, uh, should probably take off our clothes.”

Wow, way to sound like a ert, Hyuk. Nice one.

“I-I mean, to dry. The clothes. Take them off to dry,” I added quickly. “Yes, that’s what I’m trying to say.” I pinched the bridge of my nose at how embarrassing my behavior was. Since when did I start acting like this? This entire day, I’ve been acting nothing short of a fool.

But Donghae seemed to find it funny, because he giggled, although he was blushing. He nodded at my suggestion, though, and reached for the hem of his shirt, hesitating at first, but then pulled it over his head.

I looked away to give him some privacy and began peeling off my own shirt, undoing to buttons and slipping the wet shirt off my shoulders. I peeked up and caught Donghae starting at me, but he snapped his head down when we met eyes. I did the same and shook my head, trying to get my act together. Come on, Hyuk. We’re two guys. This shouldn’t be a problem. Stop acting like a high school girl stuck with her crush. Because that’s so not what’s going on.

We both managed to get down into our boxers. “Let’s just lay them out over here,” I suggested, keeping my eyes on the clothes in my hand, and Donghae complied. When the pieces of clothes were scattered about on the ground, we both stood awkwardly, not knowing what to do now.

I shuffled around on the grass, trying to think of where to go from here, but Donghae piped up. “Why don’t we go lie down over there and cloud watch?” He offered excitedly, and since there seemed to be no way I could say no to anything he asked, I nodded.

He beamed happily and moved away from the scatter of clothes, plopping down on the grass. I followed his example and stretched out beside him, keeping about a foot of space between us.

I stared up at the brilliantly blue sky, clumpy white clouds floating around lazily. Donghae went first in our little game. “Oh! Oh! That one looks like a gumdrop!” He pointed up at something on his right on I tried to pick out the lucky cloud he was referring to.

“Your turn,” he exclaimed after I found it.

I searched the sky for a cloud and pointed to one directly above us. “That one is definitely Sungmin.” It was a stumpy little cloud with no particular shape. Donghae laughed from beside me and my heart swelled at the sound.

The game went on for a while. Donghae was pretty good, coming up with clouds that resembled a blue whale, a delivery truck, the African continent, and a top hat. I, on the other hand, had the imagination of a piece of brick, so I lamely countered with things like a book, a circle, something that could pass for a bottle of coke, and a pen.

After we were content with the number of clouds named, we fell silent, taking in the scenery.

“Can I ask you some more questions?” Donghae asked after a while, propping himself up on his elbows, looking down at me. “I only got to ask you your favorite color and your favorite movie before.”

I shrugged and he smiled eagerly. “Of course, you can ask me questions too,” he added. “Ok, let’s see. What kind of music do you like?” He asked, moving to lie back down.

“That’s kind of tough. I guess I like a little bit of everything.” Donghae made a noise of disappointment and I laughed.

“I was hoping for something more specific,” he muttered. “Ok, what about your favorite season?”

“Winter. I like being able to stay cooped up in my apartment without worrying about Sungmin busting down my door, nagging at me that I should go outside. Plus I like the snow. It makes for a nice view outside my window,” I said, making sure to give a detailed explanation this time to satisfy Donghae. “What about you?” I asked, titling my head to the side to glance at him.

“I like the snow during winter, too. It’s fun to play in. And hot chocolate! Sandara noona makes it the best!” I smiled at that.

“Ok, next question,” he declared. “If you had a magic lamp with a genie inside that could grant you any three wishes, what would you wish for?”

I chuckled. “Are you stealing that from Aladdin?”

He pouted beside me. “What? It’s a serious question. I’m curious.”

“Alright, three wishes. Well, I’ve never really thought about it. Maybe the first wish would be to make Sungmin not have the extra key to my apartment. He seriously needs to realize that he has his own place. Um, second wish would be to have an unlimited amount of strawberry flavored pastries. And the last wish I would copy from Aladdin and free the genie like a good Samaritan.”

Donghae giggled and I felt my heart pitter-patter in my chest. I ignored it and asked what he would do with three wishes from an all-powerful genie.

“First wish would be to live with my brother. Second wish would be to beat Kyu at his winning streak in Final Fantasy. And of course the third I’ll use to save the genie!” He giggled again and I laughed at how genuinely cute his answers were.

“Next question. What do you do for fun?” he asked again.

“Fun? Um, there’s not much I do. I’m usually working, and when I’m not doing that, Sungmin makes me tag along with him to go run errands and go weird places like the mall.” Now that I think of it that sounds really pitiful.

Donghae seemed to think the same. “There must be something,” he insisted.

“Well… I guess back in high school I used to dance. But I gave that up when I took over the company.”

Donghae shot up from beside me and stared down at me with bright eyes, looking at me as if I just told him I could grant his three wishes from before.

“Wow! That’s super cool! What kind of dance?” he asked enthusiastically.

I shrugged and felt my heart pick up with his fascination. No one’s ever sounded so interested in me before. “I-Uh, I did all kinds, but I liked dancing to hip hop music the best,” I admitted quietly.

“Oooo~ you have to show me sometime!” he exclaimed delightfully.

I haven’t danced since high school, and if anyone else had asked, I would’ve denied. But this was Donghae and so I just found myself nodding at his request. He made a happy noise of approval before falling back down on the grass.

“Ok, last question, I promise,” he began. “If you could live anywhere else besides here, where would you live?”

“Besides here? …It’ll probably have to be in the heart of Paris. I’ve been there a couple of times for work and I found it to be a very lovely city. The language has a nice flow to it, there are all kinds of good food, and the place just gives off a very laid back vibe. Plus, they’ve got the Eiffel Tower,” I added and glanced down beside me. “What about you?”

Donghae had a dreamy smile on his face. “ Paris sounds wonderful. I would choose to live there, too. I’ve only seen it in movies, but it seems so beautiful and so romantic.” He giggled. “Being able to visit a castle, or go to the Louvre, or the Notre Dame Cathedral. And imagine being up in the Eiffel Tower, watching the sunset.” He sighed as if none of that was possible and I wanted to tell him that I would take him, but I resisted the urge to do that, seeing as how it might be weird for me to suggest such a thing.

I didn’t know what to say so I just kept quiet, staring up at the sky. Donghae didn’t say anything else either. I was lost in thought about what it would be like to take Donghae to Paris and all of the things we could do together when I heard a soft snore come from beside me.

I glanced over to see the Donghae had fallen asleep, his face titled in my direction, his mouth parted slightly with his hair falling around his face. When I realized I was staring for too long, I pulled my eyes away and returned my gaze up at the sky, recounting today.

This might sound cheesy and completely stupid, but today was one of the best days I’ve had in a while. Well, except for when that booth lady thought we were dating. Oh, how embarrassing. And Donghae looked like he had been ready to faint.

Did he hate the idea so much?

…But what would it be like if we were dating?

We would spend a lot more time together, which didn’t sound bad at all.

He would start college and have classes in the morning and then come see me at work in the afternoon. And then he would sit in my lap whiles I sat at my desk trying to do work, just like couples do in the movies. He would be there to distract me and get me sidetracked and I would end up not getting any work done, but it would be worth it because I would be happy to have him there. And we’d go on lots of dates and I’d take him out to dinner all the time and then I’d drop him off at his house. And then, every night, I’d get to lean in for a goodnight…kiss…

…

WHAT THE HELL?!

I shot up off the grass into a sitting position and rubbed my hands furiously over my face to get those thoughts out of my head. Ugh! Get out! Get out!

Donghae would lean up and put his hands around my neck—

Oh god, make it stop!

My hands would be on his waist, pulling him closer—

I knocked myself in the head a couple of times, but it wasn’t working. I bolted up from the ground and practically ran to the other side of the enormous lake.

I panted hard, pulling in air as I panicked at the places my mind almost took me to just now. I rubbed my hands harder over my face.

What was that about?! Was I seriously considering what it would be like to date Donghae?!

Am I going crazy? Was it something in the water?

When did I even start liking guys?! Does that mean I’m bi?!

N-No, that can’t be. The only guy I’ve ever liked is… Donghae… Wait, WHAT?!

Since when did I like Donghae?! Do I like him?!

Oh god I think I’m going into hyperventilation.

I spent the next two hours border-lining a panic attack. 

When Donghae woke up from his nap, I caught sight of him from across the lake, looking around curiously when he didn’t see me.  

How am I going to go back over there and face him? I can’t do it! I’m not even sure what’s going on with me! I should just jump in the lake and free Donghae of these corrupting thoughts.

But just then, Donghae spotted me and stretched his hands above his head and started waving them around around crazily. “HYUKJAE!!!” He hollered. “HOW DID YOU GET ALL THE WAY OVER THERE?!!! ARE YOU LOOKING FOR MORE FISH?!!”

Oh god, does he have to be so adorable? No, no, no! Stop it, Hyukjae!

“HYUKJAE?!!” Donghae called again when I didn’t answer. I took in a few shaky breaths and yelled back that I would be right over.

I slowly paced back to the other side of the lake, feeling my heart beat violently against my chest the closer I got.

As I approached him, I slowed to a snail crawl, keeping my eyes on the ground and rubbing my sweaty palms against my boxers nervously.

“Hyukjae!” Donghae ran up to me. “Sorry I fell asleep and left you by yourself. It’s almost five, too, which means I was asleep for a really long time. Sorry,” he said sheepishly.

I just shook my head dumbly.

He tilted his head to the side, smiling up at me. “Look! Our clothes are dry!” He shoved my shirt in front of my face, and then pulled it down so that I could see him again. “Let’s get dressed and go meet Kyu and Sungmin hyung!” he exclaimed, running off to pick his clothes up and put them on.

I numbly moved over and started doing the same.

The next thing I knew, we were standing in front of the circus entrance. The place was bustling with people now, unlike this morning. To add the whole ‘night circus’ effect, there were old lanterns decorating the outside where there were now some booths set up selling cotton candy and circus merchandise.

Donghae was standing on his toes, trying to see above the sea of people, looking about eagerly.

Although some sick part of me wanted to keep staring at him, I turned my head and tried to focus on picking out our friends but I kept glancing over at Donghae.

No less than five minutes later, someone came barreling into Donghae from behind. Whoever it was latched their hands around Donghae’s stomach, burying a head of dark messy hair into his neck. And I instantly felt myself tense up.

“Oh my god! Hae~! I finally found you! It was terrible! I spent an entire afternoon with that insane rabbit man and—and – I’m just glad you came back to save me!” The figure whined in exaggerated relief and I recognized the voice.

Donghae just giggled and patted Kyuhyun’s head that was still buried in his neck.

I felt something weird bubble inside me and I got the sudden urge to rip Kyuhyun off of Donghae.

What is wrong with me? Now I’m getting jealous of his best friend. I should’ve seriously jumped into the lake and stayed there.

Sungmin soon followed, coming to stand beside me. “Oh please, you’re just being a whiny baby,” he said, not even flinching when Kyuhyun growled from his place, still clinging on unnecessarily to Donghae.

Out of sight, out of mind. And so I forced my gaze to the front of the circus tent where people were filing in. If I didn’t see what Kyuhyun was doing, I wouldn’t get so angry. But it was so hard keeping my eyes off of them as they told Donghae about what they did after we got separated.

After a while, Sungmin began ushering us into the tent. It was almost completely filled already. Min lead the way, scouting out somewhere to sit. Eventually, he found four that were together. The only problem was that there were two empty seats on one bench and two more on the bench right in front of them. Sungmin was already dragging Kyuhyun away to take the two seats in the front, meaning I had to sit next to Donghae. Oh no. I’m not ready for this yet.

Donghae just began moving toward the empty bench and I had no option but to follow him. The space wasn’t even that big and so I ended up sitting with barely an inch worth of space between us, and my knees were almost bumping into Sungmin’s back from his seat in front of us.

I felt Donghae scoot over closer to me to make space for some other people and I felt my heart speed up unhealthily.

Donghae turned to me and seemed to notice me sitting quite stiffly. But he interpreted it wrong.

“You looked nervous,” he said, giggling. “I’ve never been to a circus so I’m kind of nervous, too. Sungmin hyung showed me the flyer just now when we were outside and I saw that there were supposed to have some scary acts. Like, there’s supposed to be a guy that can eat swords and someone who’s going to try escaping a cage full of lions.”

He cringed and shivered at the thought, then looked back up at me with his big chocolate eyes and a deep red blush coloring his face. “Maybe if we hold hands it won’t be so bad?”

As much as I think I really want to, are you trying to kill me?! You can’t. I haven’t even figured out what that whole ordeal was at the lake and you want to hold my hand?!

But oh gosh, you look so adorable with your hand above mine, waiting for me to take it that I can’t say no.

When I nodded to his hand holding idea, he glowed happily and slid his small, delicate hand into mine. And I felt my heart punching and kicking away inside my chest.

At this rate, I going to end up having a heart attack before the night ends.

I couldn’t even concentrate on anything. Not when the lights cut to reveal a single spotlight. Not when the ringmaster introduced himself. Not when the first act began. Not even when Kyuhyun got picked for a voluntary routine.

All I could focus on was how warm Donghae’s hand was. How he would squeeze my hand at the supposed ‘death-defying’ stunts, or how he would loosen his hold when something entertaining was happening.

I spent the entire time trying to keep my thoughts at bay, struggling to not just get up and run out of the tent.

By the time the lights turned back on, signaling the end of the event, Donghae was slipping his hand out of mine.

No. Give me back your hand. I want to keep holding it.  

As we filed out of the tent, my mind was only paying attention to Donghae who was gushing excitedly to Kyu and Sungmin, the three of them discussing their favorite parts and how much they enjoyed it.

It was dark out now, with the night a little cooler and the moon illuminating everything within its reach.

I wasn’t very responsive as we made followed the crowd out of the park and onto the streets. Just like this morning, Sungmin immediately took the back seat, as did Kyuhyun, who didn’t want to sit next to me. Which left Donghae in the passenger seat smiling contently as the three kept up their conversation.

I used up all my energy trying to remember how to drive because my mind was so confused right now. 

We dropped off Kyuhyun first. I tried to keep still when he got out of my car and poked his head into the passenger side window, whispering something in Donghae’s ear, making Donghae smile and nod.

A little while later, we ended up at Donghae’s mansion of a house. I rode up the incredibly long driveway, pulling up in front.

“Thanks for bringing me along today, Sungmin hyung. It was really fun!” Donghae said from his place in the passenger seat, twisting his body around so that he could speak to Sungmin directly. “And thanks for putting up with Kyu. I know he can be difficult sometimes, but he’ll warm up to you soon. It’s just that he doesn’t trust people very easily.”

“Aw~ aren’t you just the cutest!” Sungmin cooed from the back seat and I shot him a glare in the rearview mirror, but he ignored it. “Don’t worry about it, sweetie. I’m glad you had fun.”

Donghae smiled and turned back to sit properly in his seat, intent on speaking to me this time. “And I’m happy we got to spend time together, Hyukjae. It was really fun and I’m glad I got to know more about you,” he said, flashing a sheepish smile, his cheeks painted pink, going on red.

I mumbled out something about enjoying today too and then Donghae said his goodnights to the two of us and began getting out.

When Donghae turned away to open the car door, I felt a hard shove on my shoulder from Sungmin in the back. “Walk him to the door, you idiot,” he hissed in my ear. 

I nodded blankly. “D-Donghae. Wait. I-I’ll… walk you to the door.”

Donghae beamed and nodded, stepping out of the car and stood there waiting for me. I moved stiffly, getting out as well, going around to meet him.

I avoided his eyes as we walked to the front doors. When we were standing in front of them, Donghae turned to me and the way the moonlight hit his face and made his eyes sparkle made me want to race back to the comfort of the car.

“Good night, Hyukjae,” he said timidly, and I just found myself staring at him. It was only when I noticed his face inching closer and closer to mine did I realize that I was unconsciously leaning in to his adorably confused face. 

Oh god. Mayday! Mayday!

Run before he finds out that you were trying to kiss him!

Oh my god I was trying to kiss him. I was really trying to do it.

That thought alone scared me out of my mind and I ended up mumbling out a quick goodnight before really making a dash for the car.

Sungmin had moved up to the passenger seat while we had been out. When I got in and slammed the door shut, he looked at me weirdly. “What was that about?”

But I ignored him and focused on getting on the road. He stayed quiet for the rest of the ride, only speaking up to tell me that he was staying over at my place tonight. I didn’t even protest like I normally do.

When I pulled up into the underground parking lot of my building complex, we both got out and took the elevator almost all the way up before stepping off onto my floor. But coming to stand in front of my door, I ended up staring blankly at it, instead of opening it up.

That’s when I felt Sungmin bonk me over the head.

“Alright, spill. Right now,” he said with narrowed eyes and hands on his hips in an intimidating manner. “I could tell something was up since we met up at the circus this afternoon, and I’ve been waiting for you to tell me, but since you’re a stubborn dimwit, you’re going to tell me now.”

There was a long pause and when it didn’t look like Sungmin was going anywhere, I knew we would be out here all night until I told him.

I sighed and rubbed my hands across my face. “Minnie~ I need help.”

“Oh god, are you going through a mid life crisis? Because I can’t help you there.”

“It… it’s Donghae,” I muttered.

“Oh my god! Did something happen to him? Is he hurt? How bad is it? Did you seriously let him go home when you knew he wasn’t all right? Oh my god, an ambulance! Where’s my phone?” He began frantically searching his pockets before I shot out my hand to stop him.

“That’s not what I meant… I… I think…”

“You think…”

Maybe telling him was a bad idea. I mean, what if I tell him and I turn out to be wrong? 

“What?! Just say it already. Do we need an ambulance or not?” He asked impatiently.

“I… I think I might like D-Donghae...” I whispered. 

“Oh god, finally! I can’t believe it took you this long. See? I told you that you were a dimwit. But does anyone believe me? Noooo.”

how was it?

comments please~ reading the ones from the last chapter made me feel like i was doing something right :D ...except for when you guys asked if this is kyumin- lol i must've done something wrong there since that was totally not what i was going for. 

I know it's hard to believe since we're already 18 chapters in but hopefully the next chapter can clear that up. 

that means the next one is going to be changkyu. but to those of you who don't wanna read changkyu, you should still consider reading the chapter cuz there might be some eunhae in there :)