Jonghyun's POV

Ah, damn it! Which way did she go?

I was right outside of the cafe, after seeing _____ run out. She looked so upset. I just knew it from her face expression when we had eye contact for a moment. This wasn't the usual 'sad'. She was completely torn. 

Damn I hate myself.

I walked back into the shop and sat down at my table, apologizing to Sekyung. "What happened?" She asked me, worried. My eyes twinkled. "That was her." I replied faintly. Her eyes widened at me, then she looked out the door, and back to me again. "You mean.."

I nodded. What do I do now? She probably got the wrong idea about me and Sekyung. Damn.

"What are you going to do now?" She asked me. I shook my head. "I'm wondering the same thing too." Then she placed her hands on mine again without hesitation. "Go find her."

"But she probably wouldn't want to see me anymore. I'm afraid she'll-"

"No." Sekyung cut me before I cold finish my sentence. "It's your fear that stops you everytime. Don't be afraid Jonghyun. Talk to her before it's too late. Trust me. She needs you."

"How would you know that?"

"I'm a girl, Jonghyun. I know." She smiled assuringly at me. I smiled back, mentally thanking her before taking a deep breath and looking out the window. 

"Alright then, Sekyung. I'll try my best."

"You do love her, right?" She suddenly asked as I got up. 

"More than anything." Came my reply.

Sekyung's POV

My heart cracked just a little upon hearing the last three words he said. But then again, he was happy. So, I should be too. He walked pass me and out of the cafe while I stirred my tea that wasn't very hot anymore. 

My head faced the window beside me as I watched Jonghyun walk away in the streets. One elbow on the table supporting my face that rested on my palms, the other hand still stirring the tea. My gaze over Jonghyun slowly faded as he walked further away until I could see him no more.

I stopped stirring. But I didn't have even a single sip of the tea. I never liked tea. I only ordered it because of Jonghyun. A small grin came on my face. I'm so stupid to think that he could have been as stupid as me. Too stupid to move on. 

"Annyeong, Sekyung noona." 

The familiar voice interrupted my thoughts and I turned to see Taemin. SHINee's little maknae. I smiled and greeted him back politely.

"Don't mind if I join you?" He said cheerily. I nodded, allowing him to sit I front of me, where Jonghyun was sitting earlier. "Looks like both our companions has left us." He joked with a grin. 

"Yeah. Looks that way. Luckily you're here." I responded.

"Oh, yes. I'm always here for the ones who are alone, to accompany." He said with a slight tinge of depth in his voice. Though his face was cheerful and glee, his words did feel melancholy. I felt pity for him suddenly. Not that I knew why, but his words made me feel as if he needed the pity. 

Maybe he felt it for me too.

Author's POV

You jumped onto your bed, sobbing uncontrollably into your pillow. Your mind was filled with hatred and anger. Anger towards Minho because of his childish and stubborn attitude. Angry at Jonghyun for leaving and lying to you. Angry at yourself for being so stupid to put so much hope on him. 

You didn't know you could cry so much.

Suddenly you heard a knock at the door. You growled angrily in your pillow. 'Why the f*** would everybody want to see me now? First Jonghyun, then Minho, now who?' You thought angrily while ignoring the knocks. But they only grew more persistent. "Ugh!" You shouted in your pillow and covered your ears.

Then the knocking a stopped. You sighed in relief. But suddenly your phone started ringing. "Shut up!" You screamed and threw the phone across the room. Luckily it landed on the carpet in the hall, preventing it from breaking. But the ringing didn't stop. You finally got up and walked carelessly towards your phone, tears still pouring out as you glared at it.

'Jonghyun' it showed on the screen.

Your tears poured even more at the word you read. Slowly, you reached out to it and picked it up, your eyes still on the name. You just hated how much you wanted to answer the call. Yet, you hated how much you didn't want to answer it too.

Your phone just kept ringing, and when it stopped, it would ring again. By the time you decided, there were already 8 missed calls in your hand. Finally, you clicked it.

"Y..yeoboseyo?" Your voice stuttered between controlled sobs.

"Please let me in." His voice pleaded. You couldn't help but let out a small cry before clicking the end button. Somehow, you regretted answering the call. Hearing his sad voice made you feel terrible.

You dropped your phone and looked walked carelessly to the front door. You really felt like you were drunk, although you weren't. When you reached the door, you fell on it with a thud, pressing your ear on it.

"Why?" You muttered, loud enough for Jonghyun to hear from outside. He didn't say anything. "Why?!" You said again, much louder this time. But he didn't say a single word. Frustrated at his silence, you swung the door open and saw him standing there right infront of you, starring at you with his sad puppy eyes.

Instantly, he grabbed your shoulders and pulled you into his arms as he wrapped them around you. For a moment, you were starstruct. His hug, his warmth, his love, it all seemed so fresh and new to you. After such a long time, you smelt his sweet fragrance of the perfume he always used. That familiar smell. 

But then anger fought back and you pushed him off you, making him stumble backwards and stare at you. 

"Pabo!" You cried. "Why would you do that? I thought you hate me." 

"I never hated you, ___-ah." He defended himself.

"Then why did you ignore me? Why did you avoid me? Why did you leave me alone? Do you know how lonely I was without you?" You argued angrily. You didn't care how he felt anymore. You wanted him to feel guilty. You wanted him to know that you had suffered because of him. 

"I.. I'm sorry." He said calmly. Your tears started to build in your eyes again. How much tears can your body possibly produce? You glanced down and shook your head. But Jonghyun came towards you and placed his finger under your chin, making your eyes look at his.

"I was scared." He confessed. 

"Scared of what?" You muttered, trying to swallow your tears in.

"When Minho told me that you two were dating, I died. I didn't dare to look at you. I was scared that my heart would get broken every time I saw you. I was worried that being with you might ruin your relationship with Minho. I.. I was afraid of..of crying." He looked down and let out a sigh, then back up to you. 

"Then why are you telling me this now?" You asked bravely, despite the tears that were at the brink of falling.

"Because I realized what an idiot I was. I found out that you were never dating Minho. I found out that I was a coward. And I truly regret every single stupid thing i had done to you. I regret avoiding you, I regret ignoring you, I regret leaving you alone. I'm sorry."

He looked into your eyes and you saw his tears build. You just wanted to hug him so badly now, seeing his sad expression. "I.." You hesitated. "I felt like dying without you.." 

His eyes filled with guilt and pain. "I'm sorry." He muttered while wrapping his arms around you again, allowing you to burst into tears and cry on his shoulders. 

"I felt so empty. So lost, oppa." You struggled to say while inhaling sharp breaths. He hugged you tighter at every word you said. Every word that made him break more and more inside. He felt like slapping himself. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please, don't say anymore. I'm so sorry." Jonghyun pleaded as hot tears ran down his own cheeks. "I'm sorry.." He kept repeating the same words as if there was nothing else he could think of. Well, there was nothing else he could even say.

The two of you just stood there in the middle of your apartment hall, with the front door still open and your hand phone on the ground. Everything was just motionless and only faint sobs could be heard from both of you. Until you suddenly pushed him away again.

"Sekyung eonni. I saw you with her just now." 

He looked at you and blinked before letting out a short sigh. "Don't get us wrong. We were just having tea together." 

"While holding hands?" 

"What?" Jonghyun raised an eyebrow at you, making you suddenly realize something. You and him are just friends. There wasn't a reason for you to ask about him and Sekyung because you had no rights to. You felt a pang as your brain started to work again.

Damn it, you thought, your heart sinking deep inside.

"Never mind."