Why did he cry?

Ever since she was fifteen, she knows love has never existed. Even if it does exist, it has its own lacking. It lacks eternity. Love stays love within the allotted time and it may disappear after twenty or fifty years, or after a week or two. One would finally run out of love. Therefore, she shall not marry anyone and she shall not claim herself being in love. She believes, this body of ours wasn’t programmed to love a person for an eternity.

Yet it was five years later, the day she turned legal, when she met the spectacular blonde hair man. He was much older, unlike her preference. The blonde hair man, if she was to talk about him, she couldn’t help but say he’s nothing but spectacular. She found nothing special about him, yet the man was so spectacular that he captive her heart. He makes her believe love does exist. Despite the fact that she knows, someday one’s would run out of love, she exchanged the ring with him.

The blond hair man, he would stay by her side, he would hold her and sleep by her side, he would whisper her a good night and the wonderful three words. He loved her so much and she loves him more than anything in the world. It was on those days, on the beginning of their story as a couple. She believes, it’s okay to fall deeper to this love, this love may not run out even after fifty years.

Such a naïve thought.

***

A faint bitter smile appeared on the woman lips, as the memories rushes back to her head. It was on those days, where she believes life couldn’t be any happier. Yet here she is, in the middle of a cold winter night, waiting for his returned. She misses the way their skin touched, the way their lips touched, and the way his warmth warmed her. It has been too long, for what she could remember.

It was Friday.

It has been weeks, for her to be waiting for his returns and slowly she has gotten tired of it. She has been hurting for too much and she, too, has been waiting for too long. She has lost the counts of days and the waiting he had done. The pale petite figure slowly walked to the huge bedroom upstairs, leaving her tea cold. It was a beautifully design bedroom, something they shares together every night. The memories rushes back to her head, as she felt the slight pang hurting her.

A rope was tied to the rooftop and she slowly climb to it. The creaking sounds of the bed somehow made an illusion to her. It was as if he was calling her. She loved it a lot, the way her name escape his lips and the way their eyes met. Even with his small eyes, he could flutter her heart even after years. She has never gotten bored of it but waiting has gotten her tired.

Who would ever think the man whom first come up to her and said ‘I love you and I can’t live without you’ would be the first one to run out of love? While she, the one who hesitate and said ‘I like you, but I’m not sure if I could love you much enough to be in love with you’ would be the one with an everlasting love? It isn’t fair. She was in pain. The days didn’t seem any brighter, it only gets darker.

She knows it; he had been cheating on her. Ever since the beginning, she knows he had cheated on her. He’d come late every Friday night, leaving her all alone, as she waited for his return. He has been sleeping with another woman, whispering the same three words he once told her. It began last winter, yet she could not do something about it. She was fifteen, after all, when she realizes one would eventually run out of love. It was a nature that she couldn’t help but to let it be.

He, too, must have been hurting. He has loved someone else for over a year by now, yet he must have been guilty for leaving her. He has loved someone else, yet he could not be one with his loved one. Her face must have been haunting him over the past year that he has been keeping it a secret. He’d do those sweet things to her, and it’d hurt her even more. Why did he do such a thing knowing he no longer love her? The question was the bullet for her death.

But she loved him so much that she was fine with it. She would not question his deed. She was fine with hurting so much, just for his happiness. She wanted him to be even happier. It will be fine, even if she wasn’t the one. As long as he had that beautiful smile and that cute laughs of him, she would be just fine. Therefore, she needed to free him from the bond they have made. For him to be freed and finally returns to his rightful place, the place where he belongs to. He shall return to the side of his loved one. Although it may hurt, she will be fine.

“I love you, Kim Sunggyu. Now, you are finally free.”

With the short three words, she tied the rope around her neck and jumps off the bed. She had that sweet bitter smile on her lips, as the last tear escape her eyes. She loved him so much. Therefore, she had freed him. For his happiness, she was willing to give it all up. The door swung open, as the last cold breeze touches her skin. In the end of the day, he was too late. He called out her name and it felt so spectacular to her ears. It remarks her death. Yet even after her death, a question remains on her head.

I freed him, why did he cry?