“…I think I love you.”

As you heard him, a fake smile formed across your face. You really wanted to say you felt the same way as he did but those words won’t come out of your mouth, you felt somehow guilty inside if you say it out loud. You shifted your head away from your once crush. You remembered the time when your heartbeat’s rate increased every time he smiled at you, or when a simple hi from him made you feel like you’re on cloud nine, or even just by seeing his face made all your problems go away.

 On second thought, the fact that he already has the girl of his dreams by his side bothered you and somewhat made you realized he belongs to someone else, someone who is better than you in almost everything, in fact. But why is he saying such a thing? Maybe he’s just having a hard time and couldn’t get his mind straight…  right ?

You hung your head down low, trying your best to find a suitable answer to respond without hurting both of you. You had to admit that you indeed have a huge crush on Kai but you just don’t know how and what to answer him as your thoughts are flooded with the guy you missed the most; OH SEHUN.

Each time you were with him, you would have this strange little feeling ran down your spine; something you would feel when you were with Kai but it’s totally different now. All you could figure out was that the feeling you once felt towards Kai has slowly fade away leaving no trace behind as you started to turn over a new leaf. It did cause you a lot of pain but Sehun was the one who made the pain to subside even though not entirely, but manage to cool you down and be there for you; to be the shoulder for you to cry on. To be the one who brings sunshine to your dark and hazy world and prevent you from falling into the abyss.

You took a deep shaky breath and attempted to face Kai, uttering confidently

,
“Kai, this is wrong and you know it yourself. You can’t do this. You can’t play with my heart; with Soojung’s heart. You’re hers now, she’s yours. You love her and she loves you.” You paused, pulling your hand away from Kai’s grip.
“And.. I think it’s best for you to think about it more considerately. Ask your heart, Kai.

 I’m sure you know what’s the best for you, me and Soojung. You can’t be sellfish. We have feelings too you know.. And I’m sorry.” You added.

Kai looked at you with his pleading pair of eyes looking as if his favourite puppies got hit by a car. But he doesn’t have the chance to say or even do anything as you immediately stepped away from him before exiting the room; leaving him alone feeling stupidly dumbfounded.

** **

Your feet brought you towards nowhere. The next thing you know, you were standing alone on the building’s rooftop; the place you would always go when something bothers you.

So here you are, alone at the rooftop and although the view from here is not that eye-catching, but somehow it calms your mind. You are just leaning against the pole, the soft breeze made your hair messy; just like a scene from some random movies that you watched at the cinema ages ago. As you are in your own world, thinking about your life ever since you decided to be an entertainer, a performer. Life had been difficult for a seventeen-year-old girl. You learned new things since then and met different people with different personalities and not to mention you had finally encountered the thing everyone is crazy about called love. At your age, people probably would think the same way as you are right now but the point was what is love?

Love is….. Miracle.

It comes when the time is right whether you are ready or not and it’s unpredictable. You can’t just choose the person you wanna be in love with. Love can’t be forced and when you have finally found love, your heart will never come back to you again because it is stolen by that special someone who made you feel alive and dead at the same time, Everyone in this universe will encounter it especially the bitter yet unforgettable one called first love.

FIRST LOVE.

People say it is not really easy to forget about it.

But why?

Because it is the start of something new; something you rarely feel. Some people thought it is just a common unimportant thing, and some thought otherwise. It is something special and you will only experience it once for there’s no other chance given no matter how desperate you want to turn back time.

Love is… Pain.

You might say love is beautiful. Love is this and that. But somehow in someone’s point of view, love is painful when you’d actually know it.

Your heart will get hurt. You won’t be able to fall asleep. You won’t forget things easily. It will haunt you. It could break your heart into pieces like shattered glasses on the floor.

The pain is something unusual. It feels like you are being stabbed painstakingly by thousands of sharp knives. It really hurts inside albeit you didn’t show it. The pain is unbearable. It hurts a lot.

It is hard to explain what love really is.
When you experienced it, then you’ll know.

Hey, I’m back!
First of all, I am truly sorry for leaving without a notice and stuff. I rarely get the chance to drop by here, sign in and update stories. I have problems to deal with and worst, 2014 is a freaking important year as I’m gonna sit for a big exam so I’m focusing a lot on it. I don’t wanna fail alone and watch my classmates jubilantly celebrate their successes. I am sooo not gonna let that happen. Plus, I’m the eldest so I want to prove to my siblings that I’m the best and I can be their role model.

Oh, okay. I’m talking nonsense here.

I just want you to know what I have been through when I’m away. I hope you’d understand my situations and I really appreciate your supports on this story. FYI, it’s almost a year since I created this account and so far so good. ^^

Yehet!

P.S: This story is coming to an end. Thank you for reading, subscribing, voting and commenting. Love you guys~~~

XOXO from freakgeegee