What is he planning? I didn't understand what my brother was thinking. Even though he had said something so awful to me.. I brushed my fingers against my lips, which had earlier felt my brother's warmth. Though his words to me were all challenging & insulting, he had been so kind when he touched my lips. At first I thought he was rough, but after he kissed me, I fely his kindness. Why did he kiss me? Is it some sort of harassment? Did he want me out of the estate so much..? But if he really wanted to get me out, there should have been a variety of other methods. Why did he do something like that? What is Big Brother thinking? The reason that me brother had that attitude.. It was almost definitely because of what happened at that party. He didn't tell me when he was leaving either, and he returned so suddenly. This might not be a good way to put it but.. It had already been five years since then, so I wanted him to forget about it. But theeyes that Big Brother was looking at me with hadn't changed since the day of that party. His cold scornful gaze, as if he were looking at something dirty. That was probably because what I did ever since that day. But since we're going to be living together again, I don't want to have a strained relationship.. On top that, there was that kiss earlier. Why did Big Brother kiss me even though he had Yoona, who he was engaged to? Why did he do that, even though he was openly angry about the kiss from Yoona? I couldn't live together with him if I had these gloomy feelings. That's why I went towards my brother's room to ask him what he was planning.

Jaejoong: Ah..

  I suddenly stopped.

Jaejoong: Wouldn't I be bothering him if I went?

  Before she left, Yoona said she was going to greet father. It'd be natural for her to head to my brother's room after that. They were engaged, so if I went, I might just get in the way of their time together. What should I do..I don't want to be resented because I was tactless & bothered them.

Someone: Why are you still in this estate! Didn't I tell you to leave!

  I was loitering without knowing what to do when I heard an angry voice. Is that Big Brother? Wondering what was happening, I looked towards where the voice had come from. There, I saw my brother arguing with Yoona near his room. Arguing might not be the right word. It felt it was just my brother that was angry all by himself.

Yoona: You don't have to get so angry. I was just greeting your father.

Yunho: There's no need for you to greet him.

  Different from Yoona who was gracefully replying, my brother looked irritated with every word. Would he really get that angry at his fiancee just because he was nervous..? How long do you plan on sticking around me? We're.. My brother, with furrowed eyebrows, spotted me looking at them. I was thinking about what I should do but it was already too late.

Yunho: Jaejoong, what are you doing here?

Yoona: Oh, Jaejoong?

  Yoona, who had been looking the other way, turned around to face me & glared at me pointedly. It really felt just as if she were telling me not to get in the way, so I couldn't stay.

Jaejoong: Sorry, i just had something to ask Big Brother..

  When I explained myself with my eyes cast down, I heard Yoona giggle.

Yoona: Jaejoong, I'll be returning now, so you two siblings shold take your time.

Yunho: Yoona.

Yoona: Yunho, shall we take more at length about that at another time? It's something between the two of us, so the matter isn't something that we should talk about where there are other people.

  I felt like I was being stung by Yoona's words. Though she's speaking gently, what she's saying is that it's something they can't talk about while there are other people around.

Yoona: Yunho, would that be acceptable?

Yunho: ...

  My brother stayed silent, saying nthing to respond to Yoona's words. Maybe she took my brother's silence as approval, but Yoona left the estate with a calm smile.

Yunho: You really are that woman's daughter.

  After he had watched Yoon leave, my brother muttered that in a low voice.

Jaejoong: Eh?

  I didn't understand what he had said to me, so I looked up at my brother, only to see him staring at me scornfully.

Yunho: No, you're different thanthat woman.. Since you sneak around to sniff out what other people are doing, you might be even worst than her.

jaejoong: ! I-I wasn't sniffing anything out..!

  But it was true that I had eavesdropped on my brother's conversation. I couldn't object to what he said.

Jaejoong: Big brother, I'm sorry.

Yunho: So you admit it?

  My brother's voice got  even lower & colder.

Jaejoong: It's true that I heard your conversation with Yoona, so I apologize for that. But I wasn't sniffing anything out. Since I hate being accused of things I didn't do, you apologize too big brother.

  I looked steadily at my brother's eyes as I told him my intention.

Yunho: So you're aren't rotten to the core then. My bad.

  While my brother smiled a littlw oddly, he said the same thing as before.

Yunho: Instead of standing around here, let's go to my room.

Jaejoong: O-okay..

  Invited by my brother, I stepped into a room I had not been in for five years my brother was away.

Yunho: Oh? I thought it'd be dustier but it's not really.

Jaejoong: Since it's cleaned a few times each week.

Yunho: You do it?

  My brother asked that with a raised eyebrow.

Jaejoong: You're mistaken. No matter how long you're away from the estate, I wouldn't just go in your room.

  After the sort of farewell we had, I wasn't as insensible as to go into his room without his permission.

Yunho: Hm, I don't know about that. 

  While replying rudely, my brother sat down on the sofa & crossed his legs.Though that was all he did, because he wa attractive, my heart ended up beating a little more quickly.

Yunho: Come to think of it, you said you had something to ask me. What is it?

Jaejoong: Eh, ah..

  Why did you kiss me? What do you think of me? There were a bunch of things I wanted to ask, but my mouth wouldn't open.

Yunho: Why are you acting so suspicious? Or were you lying when you said you had something to ask?

Jaejoong: I wasn't lying!

Yunho: Then hurry up & ask.

  If I kept my mouth shut any longer, my brother was reach some strange misunderstanding again. With that in mind, I decided to tell my brother what I was thinking. However, the moment I opened my mouth, the cell phone in my pocket started vibrating.

Jaejoong: Ah, sorry..

  Yoochun was calling. What should I do? Big brother doesn't really have a good impression of Yoochun.. Would it be all right to talk to Yoochun even though big brother was right in front of me..?

Yunho: What are you doing? You've got a phone call, right? Don't mind me & hust answer it.

Jaejoong: O-okay..

  If he just hung up, I would be able to call him back later. Unfortunately, Yoochun didn't hang up, so I had to answer.

jaejoong: Hello, Yoochun?

Yunho: ...

  My brotherlooked sterner. Argh.. he's probably going to get angry at me once I hang up.. Yoochun just wanted to ask me if I wanted to go out somewhere now.

Jaejoong: Eh, now? But..

  I was troubled as to how to refuse when..

Jaejoong: Ah.

  My brother took th ecell phone from me & hung up.

Jaejoong: Big brother! What are you doing!?

Yunho: It's just that weird guy from earlier, right?Don'tanswer calls from him.

Jaejoong: Why..?

Yunho: That's..

  My brother turned his gaze downwords looking awkward, and ended up mumbling.

Jaejoong: Big brother..?

Yunho: A-anyway, that guy's no good.

  My brother was acting differently than usual, which was odd. Could he be jealous.. There's no way. I mean, we're siblings..

Jaejoong: ...

Yunho: Damn, another call.

  My brother muttered as he looked at the name displayed on the screen. It was almost definitely, Yoochun again. He's probably worried since his call suddenly got cut.

Jaejoong, if you don't want me to talk on the phone in your room, I'll do it outside, so could you give it back?

Yunho: ...

  Even though I stuck out my hand, it didn't feel like my brother was going to give my cell phone back to me.

Jaejoong: Big brother!

  When I spoke a little more loudly, my brother turned the phone off & flung it at the bed.

jaejoong: H-hey, what are you doing!? You don't have to turn it off..

  When I hurried reached out toward sthe bed to pick up my phone, I was pushed forward by a strong force from behind me & ended up on th ebed.

Jaejoong: ...

  Since the bed was soft, it didn't hurt, but I was  seized with fear.

jaejoong: B-big brother..?

Yunho: Did youplan to go to that man's place?

Jaejoong: Eh?

Yunho: Have you already slept with that guy?

Jaejoong: W-what are you saying!?

  While throwing those completely unexpected words at me all of a sudden, mybrother hovered over me at the same time.

Jaejoong: Big brother?

Yunho: ...

  Looking pained, completely as if he were coping with something, my brother's face got closer.

Jaejoong: Eh?

  I was going to close my eyes tightly, but before then, my brother's hand covered them.

Yunho: Don't look at me.

  With my vision snatched away from me, I felt tender heat on my lips. Am I being kissed by big brother again!? Since my brother's hand covering my eyes, I couldn't tell if the heat touching my lips was from my brother's lips. But this tender warmth was the same as earlier.

Jaejoong: Mm.. ha.. 

  Though this was where he had stopped earlier, this time, something wet pushed open my lips & went in. As I thought, I'm being kissed. It was almost definitely my brother's tongue that was moving around in my mouth.I wasn't sure what I was afraid of, but I was afraid, so I wanted to get my tongue away from my brother's. However, that just ended up in our tongues getting entangled, making the situation worse. Why is he doing this? Does he hate me that much> Even though we weren't related by blood, we were siblings. Something like this couldn't be forgiven.

Jaejoong: N-no..

  I frantically resisted, trying to push away,with powerless hands.

Yunho: Ah.

  Maybe he finally calmed down after hearing my voice mixed with tears, but my brother's expresiion was twisted with bitterness. Why? Whydoes big brother look like that? He looked just like a puppy that had been abandoned, and didn't know what to do.

Jaejoong: S-sorry..

  I took my cell phone from the bed & fled from my brother's room

Yunho: jaejoong! 

  I don't understand. I don't understand big brother's feelings at all!After that, I returned to my own room & sat on the sofa carpet. Big brother, why did you do something like that? Do You hate me so much? But if you really hate me so much, why did you look at me so sadly? Even though I wouldn't even let Yoochun kiss me, kust oday, i was kissed by my brother twice. My feelings of 'Why' weren't just towards my brother but also to myself. Even though I refused kisses from Yoochun, why didn't I refuse my brother's? I didn't hate it.. I was surprised by my brother's kisses, but I didn't hate them at all. Even though we're siblings.. Why didn't I hate them? Yoona, who had her kiss refused, came to mind.And sharp feelings of guilt tormented me. My brother just got back to Korea today, so he's a bit worked up.. That's all. I desperately tried to make myself believe that. If that wasn't the case, I didn't think I would be able to live normally with big brother.. I order to live together, I had to forget what happened today. I had to smile in front of big brother tomorrow. However, the more I though about that, the faster my heart beat. I couldn't help the distress I felt.

That's for now.. I'm super duper tired .. I will continue later.. Mean time, here's a preview for the next chapy..

Preview

Changmin: I have brought him..
Yoochun: Phew, it's the first time I've come in here, but as expected, it's an awesome estate. Ah, is that person over there your brother?
Yunho: What's your relationship with jaejoong?

  Yunho was lashing out at Yoochun for some reason.

Yoochun: What the hell is with your brother's attitude! I mean, what do you really think of him? Is the reason you won't give up your body to me because you've got your brother?
Jaejoong: You're wrong!
Yoochun: Then, I'm going to test that.
Jaejoong: S-stop.. Aah!