She was the first student I noticed the moment I stepped in the university.

She was the first person I saw the moment I stepped in the classroom.

She was the first person my eyes had an intimate contact with.

She was always the first…

And the most part is…

She was my first…

She was my everything.

 

 

 

 

“I am Tiffany Hwang. Nice meeting you!” I introduced the moment I sat across from her in the cafeteria. I got tensed when she raised her eyebrow though and when her gaze did not flicker, I thought I was invading her personal space. I grabbed my tray of food in haste and clumsily stood.

“I’m sorry…” I muttered as I was ready to find another area for me to eat.

“Where are you going?”

I abruptly stopped moving causing my drink to spill a little. I stared at her and bit my lower lip. “I’m going to sit on another—“

“Stay.”

I blinked and gave her a confused stare but she just resumed eating. I stayed mum for a little longer but got nothing more from her. Sighing, I sat across from her again and started eating. After minutes of silence, I got totally bored.

“You know, I am new around here. I mean the whole neighborhood actually.” I paused as I glanced at her, making sure that she was listening. I was surprised though after knowing that she was already looking. I pursed my lips as I averted my gaze back to my food. “And…I actually need someone.” I stopped, thinking she got what I was trying to ask from her but I thought wrong.

“You need someone?”

“Yes.” I looked at her again and saw her actually giving me a blank stare.

“If you need someone then you’re in the right place.”

My eyes widened in excitement. “Really?!”

She nodded and I was about to hug and thank her but she beat me to it.

“Just look around you.” She gestured and I followed to where her hand was pointing. “With these gawking boys at you, well it’s obvious that you could get a boyfriend on your first day.”

I gasped and looked back at her, she was giving me a sly grin.

“That’s not what I meant!” I disagreed and her face contorted in confusion. She tilted her head to the side.

“Then what do you mean?”

“I..I..” I flushed. “I mean, I’m actually asking if you could tour me around?”

And when she introduced herself, I knew I got my answer.

“I’m Jessica Jung by the way.”

 

 

 

 

I walked around the corner trying to find her.

She promised to help me be familiar with the place and so I am counting with it.

 

Where is she?

 

And as if on cue, I found her sitting on the floor, back leaning against one of the lockers.

She was sleeping.

I smiled as I decided to sit across from her. I lifted my hand and tapped her shoulder. I was surprised when she suddenly bolted awake.

I gave her a strange look and a chuckle. “You’re a light sleeper aren’t you?”

She blinked sleepily and after seconds, she finally responded though her eyes are still clouded with sleepiness.

“What time is it, anyway?”

“It’s time for you to tour me around.”

We stared at each other for a moment, letting silence be our messenger before she laughed a little.

“Yeah, right.”

I beamed and I think I saw her flush.

 

 

Or it’s just me.

 

 

“Let’s go then.”

 

========================================

 

 

“Of all people, why me?”

I frowned. “Because you’re the only one I trust.”

“How can you even say that? We just met last week.”

I bounced on my feet as I clasped my hands in front of her. Her eyes widened a bit before she averted her gaze.

“Oh come on, Jessi! Just this once. Help me ask my parents for the fieldtrip so I can come! They won’t let me if they think I don’t have someone with me..”

“That sounded weird.”

I bounced again. “Nothing is weird! Please?”

“Can’t you just ask that whipped Nickhun guy instead? It’ll be more appropriate you know.”

I growled. “Don’t even mention that pigheaded boy! And why are you even mentioning him? We’re talking about you here!”

She rolled her eyes. “Tiff, just think about it. Won’t it be weird if a certain woman like me steps in your house and asks your parents for you to actually come because you have me?” She chuckled breathlessly. “What do you think they will think?”

 

Silence engulfed us but when I whispered my response, she pursed her lips and dragged me towards my place with no complains.

 

“They’ll think I’ll be safe no matter what…”

 

 

 

The moment the bell rang, I run out of the classroom earning weird looks from every corner but I don’t care less. I need to catch her before she could even ditch me again. She always leaves without even saying a proper goodbye and I hate her for it.

I always tell her to wait for me but every time, I always get silence as a response. And so I just always try my best on catching up with her. It’s tiring but it is what I want. I always love being with her and it’s starting to flutter inside.

I rounded a corner and there she is, in front of her locker, reading god knows what.

“JESSI!!” I shouted excitedly and when she looked at me, I smiled and slammed myself to her.

“OOooffhh! Y-yah! You could have hugged me without banging your body with mine!”

I grinned sheepishly as I entangled our bodies. “But I want to feel you in me.”

And when I saw her blush, I smiled wider. I leaned in closer, causing her to back away.

 

“Jessi?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Let’s watch a movie?”

 

 

 

 

“Why are you even hanging out with her?”

“Because she wants me to.”

“But we don’t want you to and so you need to stop.”

“What if I don’t?”

“Then you’ll taste our wrath again.”

“…..”

“You don’t want it to happen again, do you?”

 

 

 

 

“This is getting frustrating.”

I laughed the moment I heard her mutter. “Just admit that you don’t know how to fish, Jessi and who hell falls asleep while they are fishing!”

She glared at her fishing rod as we kept walking back at our tent. “As if you got any.”

“Yah! I got one! It just happened that it got away!”

She chuckled. “What’s the difference anyway? You still got nothing.”

I growled at her before hitting her shoulder a little harder.

“Hey! That hurts!”

“But you started it.”

She looked at me in bewilderment. “How so?”

“By insulting my pride!” I glared and crossed my arms in front of her.

She scoffed and flailed her hands in the air. “But yours is physical assault and it’s not fair!”

“Then why don’t you just get back at me??”

That shut her up, I guess. Everytime I’m with her, I noticed that she doesn’t want me hurt in any way possible. And I feel very secured and special, you don’t know how much.

I grinned when I saw her pursed her lips. She frowned.

 

“You’re so unfair…”

 

I raised one of my eyebrows.

 

“You know, you must be glad that I did not kiss you instead.”

 

There was a moment of silence before she finally blinked.

 

Gosh, she’s really beautifu—

 

“W-what?”

 

I gave her the smile she loves as I saw pink hues on her cheeks.

 

“You heard me right, honey..”

 

 

 

 

“Come on! The bus is already here you lazy !”

“I am not lazy!”

“But you always fall asleep every freaking where!”

“It’s still not the same!”

“Just give up already, okay?”

I saw her sigh and that was my cue that I won a battle once again.

 

I always do.

 

“Look, it is already packed you know.”

I looked inside the bus and it’s true but if we won’t take this, we’ll need to wait for another hour.

I looked back at her and grabbed her hand. I grinned and she gave me a confused stare.

“Don’t tell me you’re willing to stand all the way back?”

And when I nodded, she was about to complain but I stopped her by dragging her inside the bus. I giggled when she groaned.

“Oh come on. It’ll be fun, Jess.”

“Right— YAH! Watch we’re your holding!”

She yelled at a guy who accidentally held my waist and slapped his hand away. The latter muttered his apologies but she only glared.

I sported a genuine smile as I tapped her cheek softly. She looked at me and as if a spell was casted on her, her gaze softened.

“It’s okay, it’s accidental.”

She nodded halfheartedly and I chuckled when she gave a final glare at the guy.

We were surprised when another wave of passengers entered. I heard her hiss before I felt soft hands guiding me at the area near the windows of the bus. I stared at her when my back softly leaned on the windows.

“Jessi?”

“Hm?”

I looked at her anxiously. “You look uncomfortable.”

She then returned the stare and gave me a smile. “As long as you are not..”

I flushed and when I was about to thank her, someone accidentally pushed her and so our bodies came crashing together.

 

 

And I felt my heart thud violently

 

 

I groaned loudly after feeling my body being squished. But it disappeared as quickly as it came.

“Oh my gosh, Tiff! I am so sorry!”

I opened my eyes to see that our faces are inches away. Her hands are now on either side of my head, preventing herself from pressing against mine.

I blushed.

“It’s o-okay, Jessi..”

She gave me a smile and I was so mesmerized by what she was doing for me at the moment. No one ever dared crossing this boundary just to make me feel safe. And before  I knew it, my body moved on its own.

 

“Thank you…” I whispered before kissing her cheek.

 

She ducked her head timidly.

 

“..my pleasure.”

 

======================================

 

 

The bell rang and I run for the nth time. However, this time, I know that she is waiting for me in front of her locker.

I rounded a corner and I felt my heart skipping a beat at the sight of her. I was about to smile but it stopped unconsciously the moment my eyes saw her reading another note with pained and sad eyes.

 

What is going on?

 

I always see her reading notes from time to time in front of her locker but I never actually notice that she was feeling this way.

I stopped on my tracks and decided to hide at one corner. I observed her and that was when I saw her use her sleeve to wipe something in her eyes.

And my heart ached in a way that I can’t even breathe properly. I let out a breath and rested my palm over my beating heart.

I sighed in time when she did.

I composed myself in time when she did.

And when I went out of my hiding place, she finally noticed me and gave me a smile.

And all I could do was to embrace her as I tried to hide my lone smile in the crook of her neck.

 

 

She was hurt.

 

And so I was.

 

 

“Jessi?”

“Hm?”

“I missed you.”

There was a moment of silence before she responded back and that was when I knew that something is wrong.

“I missed you too, Tiff.”

 

She pulled back and ushered me to walk with her.

“Come on…Let’s get you home safe and sound.”

I nodded and as we walked, I glanced back to her locker where she put the note back.

 

 

I need to know what it was about.

 

=======================================

 

 

“We told you to stop hanging out with her, right?”

“I know.”

“Then why are you still doing it, you idiot?!!”

“…..”

“Answer me, you b!tch!!”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because I hate you! I hate you being this close to her!!”

“But she needs me close to her!”

“You b!tch! Why don’t you just listen to us?!”

“Why would I ever?”

“Because I could send you to the hospital for months again!”

“Maybe you can.”

“What did you say??”

“Maybe you can send me to the hospital again. But I won’t stop seeing her. I won’t ever listen to you.”

“You sh!t headed! Guys, let’s give her what she wanted then!!”

 

====================================

 

I was deeply worried.

She did not attend school for weeks now.

No calls.

Not text messages, any notifications.

I tried visiting her in her dorm but she was not around.

 

Where is she?

And before I knew it, I let out a lone hiccup before wiping my eyes with my sleeves.

 

 

 I didn’t know I was already crying.

 

 

The bell then rang and out of instinct, I run but I quickly got a hold of myself as I reached her locker.

No one is waiting for me.

It’s like the reality slapped me hard, reminding me that she was not around.

It hurts.

 

 

I inhaled as tears flowed.

 

 

I inhaled sharply and when I was about to heave, I saw a note sticking out from the corner of her locker and I knew it was a new one for the color of the paper is different.

Feeling the anger build inside me, I grabbed the note and harshly opened it.

And as I was reading it, everything clicked.

 

 

 

 

 

“No…”

 

=========================================

 

 

“What did you do to her!!?”

This was the first time I felt this madness towards someone. I always find excuses for me to remain patient but not this time.

 

 

Not this time!

 

 

“I said, what did you do to her?!”

She flinched and she was about to touch my arm but I backed away.

“Tiffany-ssi, please relax. You—“

“Answer me!” I hissed. My being started to shake in anger. “I said answer me!”

She flinched again. “I..I did nothing.”

I released the breath I didn’t know I was holding. “I can’t believe someone can actually do this—“

“I did not do anything!”

Out of anger, I threw the crumpled note at her face. She looked down in shame.

“I…”

 I wiped my tears with my palms before continuing.

“I will forever hate you if she won’t ever come back to me, Tayeon-ssi.”

 

 

==========================================

 

It’s been two months and there was still no sign of her.

 

I was becoming insane.

 

I tried waiting outside her dorm until dawn but she never came.

 

I asked the bully if she knows where Jessica is but all she said was that her gang left her unconscious in the park and never saw her from then.

 

I was furious.

 

I sobbed and buried my face in between my knees. I was outside her dorm once again, determined to wait for her but it was already midnight.

 

 

Where is she?

 

 

“Miss, are you alright?”

 

I lifted my head and my heart contorted in pain. The stranger looks very similar to her.

 

The stranger gave me a sympathetic smile. “Need some help?”

 

“I…”

 

And that was when I poured everything out.

 

“I need Jessica..”

 

 

 

 

My whole being is shaking as I stood in front of her room’s door.

 

 

 

My sister is suffering narcolepsy.

 

 

 

With shaky breath, I opened the door without knocking and with teary eyes, I finally saw her again.

 

 

 

The doctor said that the blows of the kicks and punches on her head greatly triggered everything. Although, she already have it even before, it’s not only that apparent.

 

 

 

“Ti-Tiffany?”

I gave her a smile as she scampered out of her queen size bed.

 

 

 

 

W-what is narcolepsy?

 

 

 

 

“Wha-what are you doing here?”

My voice cracked.

“Jessi…I missed you.”

 

 

 

She…she experiences sudden, irresistible bouts of sleep that can strike anytime. Even when she is writing, eating, showering, walking. Just…anytime.

 

 

 

And the moment she heard my longings, her tensed figure relaxed.

“I missed you too, Tiff…” She began stepping forward. “But why are you her—“

 

And before she could even say further and move closer to me, I witnessed with my eyes how all her senses slowly stopped as if her battery drained.

 

Her eyes closed in slow motion and her lips formed a soft smile as if she was already dreaming.

 

And as her body slowly loses its balance, I run forward and embraced her securely.

 

“Jessi…”

 

I said as loud as I could, wishing she could still hear me.

 

“Dream of me…okay?”

 

And that was when I cried, flooding my whole being with the excruciating feelings I have.

 

 

 

 

 

What is the cure then?

 

It can’t be cured…but it can be treated.

 

Isn’t that the same?

 

I’m sorry unnie…but we both know that it is not.

 

 

=========================================

 

She was everything, for she is me and I am her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

END