(YEWOOK) Chapter I: The Disappearance of That Certain Dream
Our Every Fantasy: Sapphire Blue Love (Short Fictions Compilation)
[IMPORTANT A/N BELOW!! IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT!!....read the story first, please.^^]
I woke up at the sound of something beeping. Where am I? My eyes opened, but only a little because it felt heavy. My sight was blurry and my mind was very hazy. I tried to stand up, but when I did, my throat stung while my lungs felt like it was being pierced by something invisible. I crouched my back. Ugh. Instead, I laid my back like how it was placed before I woke up, in defeat, flat on the surface I was laid on. I felt that I was laying on something soft. Is it a bed?
I pried my eyes open - fully open. I saw white walls and a white ceiling. I blinked twice to clear my eyesight since it was too muzzy then looked at my left. I saw a heart monitor fully operating and a dextrose holder. There were lots of wires entangled around my body and my mouth and nose were covered by an oxygen mask.
It seems that I am in a hospital. But why?
After a few seconds on recollecting my memories of what happened earlier, I realized. I was involved in an accident. On that day I was going to surprise my best friends, on that very special day, I suffered. Why? Where is Kyuhyun and Wook? Are they okay?
I'm so weird. I'm still worried for them even though I am the one who's confined in the hospital right now. Well, those two can't live without me, I just know. What'll happen to them now that I'm bed-ridden (as of now)?
I sighed then smiled at my goofiness.
Knock knock. There's someone at the door. Maybe the nurse? Or the doctor? Kyuhyun? Wook? My smile grew wider at the tought of them visiting me. I told you, they can't live without seeing me.
I felt that my energy was uplifted again. I didn't feel the pain that my body encountered during the accident and when I woke up awhile ago. Kyu and Wook
visited me, of course I would be happy. And seeing their smiles are enough medicine for my pained body.
"Come in," I tried to say but couldn't. My throat stung again due to that, I flinched. Ouch! Hmm.. Maybe because of the oxygen mask that I couldn't speak. Also, maybe a wire's stuck at my neck which is why my throat keeps on giving me the pains everytime I try to talk. But, who would accidentally tie a wire around a patient's throat?! Do they want to kill me???
The visitor came inside the room, slowly, knowing that I couldn't speak as of now. "Hyung.." Two sad smiles entered my room as they moved gently, maybe they did not want me to flinch by their usual agressiveness. Haha. Yeah. Maybe because of that reason. These kids.. Seriously. My smile turned upside down as I noticed their dark expressions. Why are their smiles like those? I wasn't expecting it to be faint and gloomy. I want their original smiles---those smiles that I treasure the most.
"How's your audition, Kyu?" I tried to say or ask, but couldn't again. My throat once more stung as I crouched my back on the bed once more. What's happening with my throat? Is there something wrong with my voice? I'm OK, right? .......Oh, I remember, the oxygen mask. That DARN oxygen mask that keeps on hindering my voice from coming out of my throat and mouth. Instead, my lips tightened in a straight line and I held my free hand in a closed grip - the other was dextrosed and numb, I couldn't move it that much. They should take off this darn mask so I could speak now. And I mean it; NOW. Aish.
Kyuhyun closed the door calmly as Wook sat on the stool at my left. He frowned as he looked at my state and put his hands on his lap while clutching the cloth of his pants. He said in a slight whisper, but still audible enough for me to hear, "I'm so sorry, hyung. I didn--"
I stopped him from talking further by showing him my palm. As if saying, it's okay, hyung is okay. And, seriously, I'm very fine. As I said, just seeing them smile is enough medicine for me. I won't need any other medications anymore. Of course, especially my Wookie's warm grin. Well, if we could just scrap the word "my" before my best friend's name, everything would be fine. But, sorry, my mind's to possessive. Sorry, Kyu. Another thing, if I really had this stupid mask off, I would seriously blabber about Kyuhyun's auditions today. But---darn. Can't they take off this mask for me? It's really blocking my voice from coming out. If this doesn't cost much, I would have destroyed it by now. But I wouldn't risk it. I'll be working my out just to pay for this stupid thing, then..NO WAY! NE-VER.
I touched the stupid mask with my right hand, wanting to take it off. It's freaking irritating me. SERIOUSLY. But when I was in the process of taking it off, Kyuhyun stopped me by touching my hand. My eyes shot daggers at him. You may be the best in glares, magnae, but I'm seriously pissed off right now so take that hand of yours off of mine if you don't want to end up dead, Cho.
I slapped his hand away, harshly, out of exasperation and managed to remove the darn mask. I gave Kyu a patronizing glare. I smirked. You shouldn't mess with your hyung, magnae Kyu. Is it because Kyuhyun influenced me and I lived with him for too long that I became this conceited and "evil-like", or is it just because the person whom Kyu got his evilness from is me? I laughed mentally at that thought.
I saw Kyuhyun bit his lower lip and mouth some words to Wook while giving him his signature glares. Well, that glare of his was actually filled with more affection than daggers since he cannot glare at Wook the way he usually does at me---my best friend is his boyfriend. Haha. The stupid idiot. Luckily, I was able to read what our magnae's mouth said: You should've stopped him also! You know that he won't be able to accept that if he knows---AISH! He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. I looked at Wook, he seems to maintain his sad expression. He was still frowning and all and his eyes were still red and puffy. This kid really cried for me, huh? Another reason why I love you so much, Kim Ryeowook. If only you could notice it. But, nah! It's better if you don't. Stay with Kyu, he'll make you much happier. I only wish for your happiness. I'll be happy just seeing you smile with him.
From what I read from Kyuhyun's mouth, hundreds of questions immediately build up in my mind. For now, only two questions are clear: What is it that I don't know? And what is it that I won't be able to accept?
I showed a confused expression as I tried to speak. "Wha--" As I spoke, my throat stung again. Harder this time. It felt like it was pierced by millions of needles. It hurts so much. I grasped my throat with my right hand out of instinct and gingerly rubbed it. It hurts.. Ugh. It really hurts so much. I closed my eyes shut as I pinched some skin that's covering my pharnyx. I stopped breathing for a second and shut my eyes tight to temporarily ease the pain. Luckily, it disappeared, but only for a few moments. Why does it hurt? What's happening to me? I exhaled but the stinging came back.
Aish. It freaking hurts.
"Hyung! DON'T!" Wook and Kyu immediately grabbed my hand to prevent me from pinching more of my skin. Why? It's not like I don't do this when I can't sing a high note out of frustration, huh?! I grunted and pouted. What is it that I don't know? What? What? What?
"Why?" I squeaked. I sounded like a mouse when I said that single word. What happened to my low and husky voice? What happened to my WONDERFUL voice?! I pried to sit up, but couldn't. My back aches too much and my chest felt like it was stabbed again by something invincible. Aish. Does this happen to all people who gets involved in a car accident? It really hurts, you know? I hate this. I should've been working at my job right now. But, yeah, I'm excused. But..STILL!
"Hyung..." Wook whispered as he covered his face with his two hands and sobbed. I looked at him with narrow eyes and scrunched forehead, confused. What now? DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG?
"Wo--" My eyes tightly shut in harsh pain, immediately. My throat stung hard again. If I could just continue on what I was saying, I would have said 'sorry' if ever I've done something wrong to make my best friend cry. I must have consoled him already. And if I could've have just let my voice out, I would have already shouted so hard in pain due to what I'm experiencing now. The pain that my throat is giving me and the miserable feeling that my heart is seeing right now are the main reasons. I can't take this.
Suddenly, Kyuhyun exclaimed, "COULD YOU PLEASE JUST STOP TRYING TO SPEAK HYUNG?! IT'S NOT AS IF YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S ONLY HURTING HERE, YOU KNOW? WOOK AND I CAN'T HELP BUT CRY SEEING YOU IN THAT STATE RIGHT NOW! ESPECIALLY THAT..." he trailed off as tears build up in his eyes. "...that... t-that..." he stuttered as he continued. He gave up and hugged me instead. "I'm sorry, hyung. I'm so so so so so sorry!" he repeated his words.
I seriously don't understand. I got into an accident and I'm very fine now! Well, yeah. Except that I'm bed-ridden as of now. But I could be discharged tomorrow! Everything is fine right? Everything is...right?
It's now Wook's turn to caress me. He touched my dextrosed hand and murmured some words, "Hyung... I'm s-so sorry to say this b-but.. your... Your dream... I-it wouldn't be fulfilled... anymore," he stuttered as he clutched my hand, very tight. He softly looked at me with those watery eyes of his. Those eyes that look so sad. What does he mean? What dream?
Is it my dream since childhood that I still have at present---to sing in-front of an audience? Or is it the dream to watch them at their concert, smiles glued to their faces? What? I don't get it. I'm so clueless. I hate it.
But...one thing's for sure. I couldn't speak or let out my voice---only a faint, disgusting squeak could be heard. Is this only temporary? Or...is this what they're sorry about?
I tried to speak again, I want to console Ryeowook and Kyuhyun. I don't want them to cry. No. Never. I won't forgive myself if they even let a tear fall from their precious eyes. I won't forgive myself; I would rather die. No. They shouldn't cry... especially not because of me. My throat stung once more as I opened my mouth. I hate this! I FREAKING hate this! WHAT THE HELL? Just opening my mouth gives me pain! THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN TO ME USUALLY! WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO ME?! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?! HAVE I DONE ANYTHING WRONG???? All I did was just to take care of Kyuhyun and Ryeowook!
Is it bad to not fulfill my own dream?! IS IT BAD TO THINK OF OTHER PEOPLE?! IS IT BAD TO THINK SELFLESS? WHY?
Unknowingly, tears fell from my eyes. It hurts. It hurts so bad. Even though I don't know what's really happening, even though I don't understand anything at all, just seeing my brothers crying, I couldn't help but do so too. It just gives me pain to see the two specific people I brought up with all my hardwork in
unbearable pain. It's just really miserable.
I was crying so hard when some sentences that Kyuhyun blurted out, while crying, made me want to die and never want to wake up forever.
.
.
.
.
"Hyung... I'm so.. We're really sorry... But.. b-but... Hyung, your dream of singing would never be able to fulfilled... ever.. I'm r-really sorry, h-hyung.. You can never speak again... I-I'm really s-sorry, hyung... Y-your voice.. it..it.. your voice.. it d-disappeared, h-hyung.. It disappeared...."
All of my questions were now answered by that single statement.
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**AHJUMMA! I DID AS YOU WISHED! I UPDATED EARLIER. -3- But no one likes to comment. SHOULD I STILL CONTINUE ON THIS STORY?
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