Minseok was right. Mua ha ha, he was right! They were aliens! All of them, it looked like. And now that he knew that, he didn’t have to worry about who to talk to, because he couldn’t talk to any of them. Of course, there were a few problems. One being that his best friends had been abducted by aliens and replaced with imposters. And Chanyeol knew that he knew, which meant that he could’ve told the other aliens. Actually, he probably did.

    So Minseok knew that they knew that he knew. He just had to make sure that they didn’t know that he knew that they knew that he knew. Or whatever.

    “Who’s next?” He repeated. The faster this ended, the faster he could save his dongsaeng’s. The Coordi-noona’s and Manager-hyung would never allow him to leave on a dangerous space mission without first finishing the photoshoot, and even if he managed to get away, it would only raise suspicion with the aliens.

    Minseok knew that when dealing with the extra terrestrial, one had to be smart. And sneaky. Minseok could be smart and sneaky. He was totes on this!

    “I’ll do it!” Jongin offered, raising his hand.

    “No, me!” Kyungsoo exclaimed, shoving Jongin aside and raising his hand instead.

    Minseok ignored them, looking instead at Wufan. “How about you, Duizhang?”

    Wufan shrugged nonchalantly. “Whatevs,” he said coolly, strutting over to Minseok and grabbing his hand. “Let’s go, babe.”

    Did Wufan’s imposter just call him ‘babe’? Where were these aliens picking up lingo? The Seventies?

    Wufan knew he was being all cool on the outside, but inside he was a fangirling like no tomorrow. Finally, after months of dropping subtle hints, Wufan would be able to show Minseok his true feelings! And he was so sure that Minseok would return those feelings that he just didn’t know what to do with himself.

    All it would take was a little bit of seduction and Minseok would be his! He just knew it!

    “Duizhang,” Minseok said, pulling Wufan from his smug thoughts of ruling Minseok’s heart  (which was so much more awesome than ruling the world), “we’re going the wrong way. Ahjussi’s over there,” he pointed to the photographer, who was standing impatiently on the other side of the room.

    Internally, Wufan was face-palming because of course he was going to act like an idiot. Why couldn’t he ever do anything right?

    Externally, Wufan only nodded and began pulling Minseok in the other direction. “I know. I just wanted to give us some exercise.”

    Minseok stared at him in confusion, before remembering that he wasn’t actually with Wufan, because Wufan had been abducted by aliens. Still, Wufan’s Imposter was incredibly weird. By far the weirdest alien imposter that Minseok had ever come across.

    “So,” Minseok began, giving Wufan a bright smile. “How do you want to-” he squeaked as Wufan suddenly grabbed Minseok’s hips and pulled them flush together.

    “Boy,” Wufan began in what would forever be dubbed as the hilariously y ‘I-can-speak-English’ voice, leaning in to give Minseok what Wufan was sure would be the best kiss of his life, “I can’t explain what I feel.”

    He pursed out his lips, expecting to feel the heaven that was Minseok only to come into contact with...a palm. Wufan and Minseok’s eyes popped open simultaneously, only to realize that Jongdae had put a hand in between their mouths. “No,” he said flatly before looking at the photographer.

    “Could you hold on a second, Ahjussi?” He asked, and the photographer let out a groan of defeat.

    “Whatever. It’s not like I’ve wasted an hour of my life on this or anything.”

    “Jongdae-ah,” Wufan growled, glaring at the Dancing Machine with fire in his eyes. “What are you doing?” He hissed, not un-like a dragon.

    “What are you doing?” Jongdae retaliated, removing his hand to glare back. “Cheeks only. How unclear was I?”

    “But Maknae-” Wufan began hotly, only to have Jongdae cut him off.

    “Maknae was an exception, Duizhang!” He snapped, forcibly putting space between Wufan and Minseok. “Either follow the rules or I’m telling hyung the truth!”

    ‘Aha!’ Minseok thought excitedly. ‘It isn’t all just my imagination!’

    There was a collective gasp from the boys standing in the room, but it was ignored by the staring contest that Wufan and Jongdae were currently having.

    “You wouldn’t dare,” Wufan scoffed, though there was a noticeable tremor in his voice.

    “Watch me,” Jongdae growled menacingly.

    The staring contest continued for a few more minutes before Minseok spoke up. “What’ch ya’ll talkin’ about?” He asked casually, causing every eye belonging to an Exo member to turn on him.

    “Nothing,” Wufan and Jongdae said in unison. “Just follow the rules,” Jongdae added, shouldering past Wufan with one last glare.

    Minseok decided that he was much too good at this spying thing. There was now no way that they knew that he knew that they knew. Or whatever. He should drop being a performer and take up the role of international man of mystery. Ooh! Even better: M.I.B. Since he was dealing with aliens and everything.

    Not to mention, Minseok had been told that he had really good aim. Surely that counted for something.

    “An hour and five minutes,” The photographer pointed out, reminding the two men that they were supposed to be posing for a picture.

    Wufan knew that this was his last - his only - chance, so he put an arm around Minseok’s shoulders, pulling him close.

    Minseok fought the urge to giggle in success - he laughed in the face of danger! - instead hugging Wufan back. He felt the tip of Wufan’s nose on his cheek before-

    Click!

    Wufan let out a low growl of disappointment. “Just do it, Duizhang,” Minseok said, feeling a little bad for the alien imposter. He was obviously new to this whole thing.

    However, instead of feeling lips press against his cheek, he got something wet and slimy. This was the third time that someone had put their tongue on Minseok’s person. It was getting ridiculous. “You shouldn’t have to deal with these little boys,” Wufan murmured, pressing a light kiss onto the spot that he’d . “Why don’t you have a real man instead.”

    A snort of laughter escaped Minseok’s lips as he pulled away, using his shoulder to wipe away the spit as he patted the Wufan Imposter’s cheek condescendingly. “Maybe next time, Duizhang.”

    The world shattered beneath Wufan’s feet.