5: Suho

“Wow, your parents are—” Hanhee couldn’t even finish her words. She looked at me and smiled. I almost froze seeing her smiling so genuinely. It was a first to me, seeing her like that. Then maybe my parents’ presence did help easing our awkwardness. It was still embarrassing though—how could they expose my whole life’s secrets in a blink second. “They’re wonderful.”

“Yeah, only if they didn’t show you—” I hung my words in the air and shook my head. It was a baby picture of me and they actually gave one copy to Hanhee. I didn’t even know what to do anymore. Should I ask her to give it to me because it would be totally weird for her to actually keep it? I drove my father’s car slowly to school. It was all his idea—“Be a gentleman to your girl, son. That’s how I capture your mother’s heart and look at us now.”

“Um, Joonmyun-ssi,” Hanhee called. I looked at her and noticed that she had this bitter smile. “Um, keep your eyes on the road first.” Ah—I returned my eyes to the front again and asked her. “What is it, Hanhee-ssi?”

“Can you drop me here now? It’s kind of uncomfortable being seen riding with you to school.” I stayed in silence because I actually wanted to send her all the way. It wasn’t because she’s embarrassed to be seen with me, was it? “It’s not that I’m embarrassed with you—it’s just, you know that you’re the president of the student council right? And it means that you’re actually widely known by everyone in school so—”

I had no choice but to pull over to the nearest stop and sighed. “Thank you, Joonmyun-ssi.”

I smiled at her and unlocked the door. Hanhee walked out of the car but instead of going off immediately like how I expected, she bent down on the window and smiled at me. “Thanks for the breakfast and everything. I’ll give these back to you once I washed them.” It was my clothes. I smiled after her too—I hadn’t had the chance to tell her that she looked better in my clothes than I do but then again, it would be weird to actually say it.

I didn’t want to leave her on the road by her own. I didn’t want to leave her side. It wasn’t that I don’t trust her but I was worried. I am still worried now. And I think I would forever worry about Shim Hanhee. She’s the most fragile and petite girl I have ever seen. She’s also the one who attracted me the most. In fact, I had never overworked myself like I did for a girl. Heck—I never even started a conversation with a girl first.

“You should go now. You’ll be late later.”

“You should go first.” I argued. “You’re the one who’s walking to school here.” She smiled at me and straightened herself up. She gave me a final wave before walking away. Was she that troubled that it’s a burden to actually be seen with me? Will my presence affect her that much? I sighed and fell back to my seat. This is my first time going to school by car. If it wasn’t because of my dad then I would have the chance to actually walk with her.

Suddenly, the passenger’s door opened and in came two noisy friends. “Drive, Kim Joonmyun. Or else, I’ll pull the trigger.” I rolled my eyes because no other else would have the stupidest mind like Park Chanyeol and Byun Baekhyun. “Where are the others?” I asked, gearing my engine again. Baekhyun’s hand tried to turn on the radio but I slapped his hand away. “Seatbelts—or I’ll stop here.”

They heard my orders like kids and I smiled in satisfaction. But then again, it hit me—did they see Hanhee coming out of my car? If these monkeys saw it then everyone in the school would know it in a day. I was still working on my words to ask them when I saw her. Unknowingly, I drove extra slow and watched her as she walked her way. She wasn’t looking at the front, and instead staring down at her hands.

She didn’t cut herself last night. That, I thanked myself because I know that she was going to do so if she’s alone. She was having a bad day yesterday. No one stays at that crappy school when there’s nothing to do. I checked Hanhee’s classes yesterday and her after-school activities. It’s a shame that none of our times collided with one another. Back to the topic, she had none activities apart from her Art Club meetings which was canceled. So I was taken aback seeing her walking around the school alone.

It almost caused me heart attack when Kris threw the ball of court yesterday. I knew her presence there and luckily she dodged it. But the ball had to break the window and glasses scattered above her. I actually ran to get her but Chanyeol being a faster runner arrived earlier. I knew it was bad enough for her to handle and with Chanyeol suddenly grabbing her wrists, I had to step in. She was hurting and I know it.

“—hyung.” Realization hit me as I felt that I had stopped at the school compound for quite a while now. I looked apologetically at Baekhyun and Chanyeol and unlocked the door for them. They shared this weird look and got up but their silence weren’t long when they saw the rest of us coming inside the school. I guessed that they actually took off by riding with me. I texted Luhan just now—that I was driving my father’s car to school.

“Suho hyung,” Tao beamed, walking beside me. I smiled at him and locked the car after taking my stuff. I have the council board meeting before school starts today. I looked at the school’s front gate worriedly. What if something happened to Hanhee on her way here? And why didn’t I stop her closer to the school so that she won’t have to walk quite a distant? Having regrets now was useless so I sighed and joined in Tao’s and Sehun’s conversation.

 It was recess time and we were gathering at our dance studio. It’s one of the perks being the school’s kingkas—we were given privileges more than we actually deserved when we were gifted with a personal practice room. All of us hang in here in as it is our rendezvous. The boys were all doing their usual stuff—being them. I stopped reading the book a student gifted me and looked up.

“Hey,” I nudged Lay. He pulled out his earphones and raised his brows at me. I like talking to him because he’s the quiet listener type. So basically, Lay is our living diary. But I thought extra hard before asking him what I was going to because being the one who knows the most could actually be destructive. I didn’t want to trouble Lay more than he could. He smiled at my hesitance and shifted so he could sit next to me and we can have our conversation more personally.

“Spill it out, Joonma.”

“Do you know—um—never mind.”

“Is this ‘girls’ problem?” Lay asked, actually quite surprised with my opening act. I gulped and shook my head but still, Hanhee’s problem wasn’t romantically involved with my feelings, okay? He laughed and returned to scribbling notes on his music sheets. If I could express my heart like Yi Xing does than maybe I could be less troubled with Hanhee’s sudden appearance in my life.

 “It wasn’t like that.” I palmed my face. He shouldn’t be taking things in assumption. But my reaction made Lay extra interested and he had his stuff kept inside his bag. I looked around and saw the others still engaged in their own stuff but I edged closer to him anyway. “Um, do you know a student named Shin Hanhee personally?”

He smirked but still thought about it for a moment. “Why? Is this the business or personal stuff-related?” I raised my brows at him and he laughed. “Business would be cases like she did something wrong or she’s new in your student board members. Personal would be—you know what I mean, Kim Joonmyun, if you’re personally attracted by her.” I rolled my eyes at him and scoffed. Hanhee and I weren’t like that.

“Just answer me.” I pushed him. Lay began to laugh and I covered his mouth. He shouldn’t laugh or else he’ll attract the others’ attention. And I didn’t want others’ attention on Hanhee. She’s uncomfortable with our ties—do we actually have any ties? What are we really? Friends—

“Shim Hanhee…hm…I need to know her circles of friends first.” Lay looked at me. “But hey, if you’re talking about girls then I wouldn’t know much. You could ask help from people like Kai, Chen or Kris and maybe Luhan. But, I don’t think I would be much help for you, Suho.”

But I don’t want Kai, Chen, Kris or maybe Luhan to find out about this because it they’re too curious then they’ll be asking the girls and the girls would be interested to know the reason on why they would be asking about Hanhee. And Hanhee could be in trouble because of that. She had enough in her sleeves anyway—and I meant it literally.

“It’s nothing.” I smiled at Lay. The bell rang and I got up. Knowing the boys, they would stay until the second bell rang but I’m the president. I should show good examples. I looked back at Lay and nodded up at him. He sent me two thumbs up before getting up as well. “I’ll keep everything down.” He said, “And maybe if I’m not lazy then I’ll try to dig around about your Shim—what was it?”

I shrugged and walked out, leaving him hanging. It would be better if Lay actually forgets her name. In fact, it would be the best for him to just forget anything I’ve said today. Walking out in the hallway, I noticed that students were returning to their respective classes. Some students bowed at me and I bowed back.

I made mental note to myself to walk by Hanhee’s locker. And luckily, she was there. I wasn’t going to talk to her. I knew how she doesn’t like attention but my heart was aching to hear her voice. So, I gave up my pride and made my way towards her. But soon, before I could reach her, someone else beat me on that.

It was a guy. He was putting his hand around her shoulder. And Shim Hanhee didn’t seem to mind that. It was a lovely view on a possible couple but I stayed there not knowing what to do. I turned around with an unreadable expression on my face. I saw my friends finally out in the hallway but I couldn’t find any words to exchange with them. Heck, I didn’t know what to do. As if I was badly paralyzed.