Today is the day! I have less than an hour to make up my mind. Yep! Today is Monday which means I can be either walk to my office confidently or full of shame with resignation letter held in between my fingers. I can't sleep well last night, heck I'm even sure I slept less than 3 hours. I kept tossing and turning in my bed with my eyes widely opened. I kept thinking the options Tiffany gave me. I thought 2 days would be more than enough to think thoroughly but I was wrong because even after that 2 days had ended, I still can't make a firm decision.

 

I woke up extra early this morning. I already smelt good even when the sun hadn't come up. Yes, I took a bath at 4 am! Wow! And I bathed with cold water, hoping it could calm my pounding heart and my delusional mind which kept thinking what if this and what if that. If I want to take a simpler way, I know I should just choose to resign. Why? Because it means I will be safe from that peculiar stares and painful words coming from them or so I thought. But then again, wouldn't it mean that I'm a coward? That I feel ashamed of my own being? That I can't even defend my own pride? Sigh! Tiffany really affects me that bad, huh?

 

I'm walking back and forth around my bedroom, contemplating what is the best determination I should pick while thinking about the consequences too. The words of Tiffany that saying my decision would somehow affect my future keeps haunting me. Suddenly I stopped in my track. I remember that the decision won't only influence my future but also my parents. What will I say to them if they know I resign from my company? I'm sure they will flood me with endless questions and I can't answer them with only one answer, right? 'Because Jessica caught me writing chapter between girls'. I chuckled, thinking that my parents would probably get heart attack once they hear it.

 

Thinking about my parents made me confident about my decision. Yes! I chose to continue working there no matter what. Because I live my life not only for myself, but also for others. I need to stop being selfish and start thinking that I have to be beneficial for my parents too. They play a huge part in forming me until I can be what I am like now. They educated me, feed me, paid for my school and bills, give me endless love, and many things that I'm unable to say. I try to be a nice daughter too!  I give my parents allowance each month. How much? It's a secret! Hehehe..

 

I look at my reflection on the mirror and smile to myself, ensuring myself that everything will be okay and according to God's plan. I brush my hair and apply powder to my face. I put on my lipstick with light brown color. Lastly, I button up my blazer and yes, I'm ready to go. I didn't forget to take my black purse and head to the door.

-----------------

 

"Morning, Tae! You're so early today!" My mother greeted me when I was entering the dining room.

 

"Yup! I feel energetic today!" I grinned and pulled out a chair for myself.

 

"Yes, I can see that alright. So what do you want to drink? Warm milk or tea?" My mother chuckled and kissed my cheek like every morning.

 

"Warm milk, please. Where are the others, Mom?" I looked at the food served before my eyes and took one toasted bread and placed it to my own plate.

 

"Hmm,, it's still too early, darling. Jinwoon won't have to wake up early. Your father is still sleeping when I wake up. So that means there are only you and I now." My mother smiled and boiled some water to make me the milk I requested.

 

"Oh, Daddy is home already? How come I didn't know?" I asked my mother before bitting the bread and munched it.

 

"Yes. Just yesterday though. He came home pretty late so maybe you're asleep at that time." My mother commented. She turned off the stove and poured the water into the glass filled with milk powder.

 

"Oh I see. I miss him. Too bad I can't see him this morning though." I smiled in grateful when my mother gave the milk to me.

 

"Yeah, I'm sure he misses you as much. What time will you go back later? Probably we can have family dinner. It's been sometimes since the last time we ate together, right?" My mother took a seat in front of me, watching me eating my breakfast with her familiar warm smile.

 

"Humm.. I don't really know. Maybe around 5 or 6 pm. I just hope the traffic won't be that bad. Anyway, why don't you have breakfast too, Mom?" I sipped my warm milk.

 

"I'm waiting for your father. I will have breakfast with him later." My mother explained. She then took a napkin and gave it to me.

 

"Oh okay. Say hi to Daddy from me. I need to get going now if I don't want to be stuck in heavy traffic. See you later, Mom." I got up from my seat, went to the kitchen to put the dirty dishes in the sink and back to see my mother still sat at the same place as before.

 

"Mom? What's wrong?" I tapped my mother from behind.

 

"Nothing. I'm just thinking, for how many more years this things will go on." My mother let out a sigh and that made we quite worried. I sat beside her and let her continue.

 

"I mean, I've been raising you since you're still a baby, unable to move on your own and couldn't say any coherent words. And now, you already grow as a very beautiful and mature woman. In no time you will have your own family and leave us." My mother turned her head and looked at me in the eyes. She smiled with a tear fell down on her cheek.

 

"What are you saying, Mom? I will always be here for you no matter what. I will even force my husband to live here if that's what you want. Come on, stop thinking about bad probabilities and unknown future, please?" I pleaded my mother.

 

"I'm just stating the truth, Tae. I have intuition that you will leave us soon. I don't know. I'm just afraid because mother's intuition usually right. But if it means you can have your future with your loved one then I'll be more than willing to let you go." My mother raised her hand and caressed my cheek tenderly.

 

"Hahahaha.. Stop thinking about it, Mom. I'm still young, single, energertic, and healthy. I won't leave you at least not for now. I will create my own family but I promise I will buy the house near this area so I can always visit you and accompany you." I held my mother's hand on my cheek.

 

"Oh, what am I saying? Sorry to keep you here. You better go to work now." My mother shook her head and stood up, intending to walk me to the door.

 

"Rest assure, Mom. I'll never leave you, not now or later." I walked beside her and headed past living room.

 

"Drive safely, Tae. Bring your rain coat with you." My mother reminded me.

 

"Hmm,, with this summer season, I don't think it will be raining." I assured my mother.

 

"Sigh. I wonder why you always reject our offer to exchange your bike into a car. We still can afford city car for you, you know." My mother stood beside my bike while I was trying to put on my helmet.

 

"I'm fine using bike, Mom. You can save the money to pay Jinwoon's entrance fee or maybe to prepare his needs to enter the college." I fixed my helmet so my view would be clearer.

 

"I wonder why you are so stubborn. Fine then. Be careful on your way, Tae." My mother opened the helmet's visor and kissed my cheek.

 

"Bye, Mom! I love you." I my bike engine and drove off.

-------------------

 

I parked my bike in usual spot. I put off my helmet and tied it on my bike. I shook my head to let my hair fell down and back to its original form, wavy and all. I removed my leather jacket and put it inside the baggage. I walked with full of confidence outside yet nervous and shiver inside. I entered the lobby of my office and past the security post. I headed to the elevator and jabbed the up arrow button. I keep praying that the elevator would be jammed somewhere so it won't be able to pick me up.

 

Honestly I'm not ready to face this, to face them, especially Jessica. And yeah, did I mention that Jessica indeed sent me messages and tried to call me several times yet I chose to ignore all her calls until my phone didn't ring off again. Maybe she tired in trying to call me or maybe she realized how I was so angry and disappointed with her. I don't know and I'm not ready to know I guess. Humm, and if you wondered what was the message was about I told you truthfully that I didn't know either. Why? Well because I simply didn't read it. Why again? It was because I was either too coward or just because I simply didn't want to read it. Yeah, I erased the messages even when I haven't read it. Stupid? Yes maybe, regret? Yes too maybe, so Tiffany was right about me being stupid? Agh! Not Tiffany again please..

 

Talking about Tiffany, I sent her message this morning, asking her to wish me good luck about my decision and yes, I also told her about the resolution I've chosen. Not long after she replied my message saying that she was proud for I picked the best choice, not the safest one. I didn't know but I felt a surge of warm feeling when I read her encouragement message. I felt happy and for a second I thought if I wouldn't do this for myself then at least I would do it for her. If she's happy with my decision then why can't I?

 

I took out my cell phone before entering the elevator, preparing myself to pretend to be busy with my phone later. I don't think I'm strong enough to receive such stares which saying how disgusting and revolting I am in their eyes. It's not that I care too much about my image but let's just say that I'm not that ignorance. Tiffany said that I have to stand for myself, their rubbish blabbering won't give you positive thoughts. She also said that I shouldn't care too much about their opinion about me and my preference because they are no one. They didn't even feed me nor raise me so they don't have right to judge. Hmm,, now that I think again, I guess she's right. Well, she always right anyway.

 

The elevator dinged and the door slide away, making ways for me to get out. Can I choose not to get out and stay inside the elevator for the rest of the day? Yeah yeah I know the answer already. I stepped out from the elevator and composed myself to walk normally. It's a hard task though when the stares keep on following you, but not because I'm like an idol but because I am different and yes, in a negative way. I tried my best not to hang down my head and looked dejected. Tiffany said I have to walk confidently, like I did nothing wrong. Practically, I did nothing wrong, didn't I?

 

It seems like they have glue that they can't get their eyes off of me even until I almost reach my cubicle. I also heard whispers and bad words about me when I was on my way to my table. I really want to cry now. I need to go to the toilet to cry my heart out but I hold back myself. I won't be a loser anymore, not this time or anytime near the future. I have to be strong for myself. If I can't even defend myself, then who will? Tiffany oh Tiffany, what have you done to me? I feel like a heartless bastard now. But if I'm a heartless person then how can I feel pain in my heart now?

 

I shake my heart to get rid of that thought, bad one though. I will divert my attention to my work instead. Yeah, that will be better right? But! Their whispers and bad mouths keep saying names toward me don't help at all. I keep losing my concentration that I can't keep my fingers away from the backspace button on my pc keyboard. Anyway, I feel eyes on me so I pull up my chin to take a peek. Bad decision, Kim Taeyeon! I shouldn't have done that because it was Jessica who stared at me! Darn!

 

And now I see her walking to my table. Ehmm,, do my eyes still function properly? Or do I need to consult my eyes to nearby doctor to make sure about it? Okay, Kim Taeyeon breathe in breathe out. Try to be focus to your work instead! I turn my attention back to my pc screen, pretending to type words I can't even understand. Suddenly I feel shadow engulfed me and yes, it is Jessica.

 

"Taeyeon-ah." I heard her soothing voice called me. Should I pretend not to hear it or should I reply her call?

 

"Tae, look at me please?" Jessica switched off my pc screen and turned around my chair to look at her.

 

"What more do you want to say? Wasn't it enough to embarass me in crowd last time?" I asked her, still looking away to avoid her stare. I'm afraid I will melt once I see her pleading eyes.

 

"I'm sorry about yesterday event. I.. I shouldn't do that. Uhmm,, can we talk later? I want to apology properly." Jessica pulled up my chin and that made me unable to prevent myself from looking at her mellow eyes.

 

"What else do you want to talk about? And yeah, I forgave you already. No worries, Jessi." I forced a smile. She seemed pretty convinced though because I can see a relieved smile reflected on her face.

 

"But still. Lunch? On me? Please, Tae?" Jessica asked me again.

 

I really want to say no but I can't lie to my pounding heart that I missed her. I missed talking with her, I missed joking with her, I missed her everything. I really want to be able to be back to our happy moments which we used to share together. There would be no days passed without our togetherness. I recalled our happy memories and couldn't help but wanting to cry. No matter what may happen to my heart later, even she will never be mine, even she will be forever out of my reach, I still can't lose her. Even I have to accept the bitter truth that we forever can only be best friends, I'm willing to take that chance.

 

"Okay. Sure!" I grinned widely.

 

"Great! See you at lunch then!" I can see black spots under her eyes. Did she think about me for the past 2 days? It can't be possible, can it?

 

She walked back to her cubicle and I could see she smiled a bit before placed her oh so curvy and y on her seat. Wuiih my ert thoughts had back! Does it mean that I'm no longer stress and feel burdened or pressured? I slapped my own forehead for several times to sober myself up. Well, I think there's this tiny thing called miracle after all.

-----------------------

 

"Why didn't you reply my messages and pick up my calls, Tae?" Jessica mixed the mayo and thousand island sauce on her salad with fork.

 

"Hmm,, let's just say I was still mad at you. I didn't feel like talking with you either. I wasn't ready, I think." I answered honestly. I took the fries with my fingers and ate it.

 

"Are you still mad at me now?" Jessica asked again.

 

"If I'm then I don't think I would be here having lunch with you." I smiled and simply answered.

 

"Right. So yeah, I'm sorry again by the way." Jessica bit her lips, maybe due to her regret of hurting me, the longest best friend she has ever had.

 

"I told you it's okay." I looked up and nodded.

 

"So regarding that matter." Jessica started and took a deep breath.

 

I saw it coming. Yes, I couldn't say I didn't forecast it but still, I don't think I'm ready for it. And bad luck because I didn't make it to consult it with Tiffany first. At least she would have given me useful advices which I'm sure would be very helpful. Now that I think again, why did Tiffany pop out when I'm with Jessica at the moment? Sigh, it doesn't help at all. It seems like Tiffany is one of the most important parts of my life and that I won't be brave enough to make a decision without consulting it to her first. Is it that bad? I mean is it my dependable attitude toward Tiffany that bad? No don't tell me! I've figured it out myself. It's that bad, right? Sigh.

 

"Is it true?" I closed my eyes while trying to prepare myself to answer her question.

 

Should I come out clean again for the 2nd time? But can Jessica be as open minded as Tiffany? And worse, can she accept that I actually turn gay caused by my feelings for her? I flinched picturing the worst possibilities which may occur. No she can't. I sure she can't. But I feel enough in burying my own feelings. I don't want to keep my preference hidden any longer. I want to love and feel how gratify it can be to be loved back. Is that so wrong? I'm a mere human after all.

 

"Yes, it's true." I stated firmly. I stared straight to her eyes to show that I don't mind being gay and to show how serious I am. She looked shock though. I wondered, could she get heart attack when I declare my love for her?

 

"Wh-what? I think you miss the question. Let me repeat-"

 

"No, Jessi. I heard it loud and clear and I know exactly what you want to ask me. Yes, it's true that I'm gay and that I prefer girls over boys." I repeated more completely this time.

 

I will be dead after this, won't I? But I haven't made my last request nor my last letter. I haven't figured out to whom I will leave my legacy to. Wait, what am I saying? Tiffany must be mocking at me if she's right here now. Wait again! Did I just mention Tiffany's name?? How many times I've mentioned her name today? Focus, Taeyeon! Focus! I should've been afraid right now, not thinking about a certain woman whom I never even met!

 

"Wh-what? You're serious, aren't you? See! That's must be caused by those freak sites! I have warned you so many times that you should evade that sites! It would only give you nothing but bad impact! But what you've done, huh?! You kept that useless stubbornness and now admitted that you've turned like one of them! Gay! My best friend is a gay?! I can't believe this!" Jessica exasperatedly told me.

 

Fortunately she didn't use her loud voice again. But I'm sure the tables near us could still manage to hear her. Well, it's not that it will change the fact that practically almost everyone who works in the same level as me knows my dirty little secret. So why not upgrading that suspicions into something more ascertain.

 

".........." I didn't say anything because I know; none of my words would matter.

 

"Why didn't you say anything?? Deny it, Tae. Tell me that you're just confused that you're not in your right mind when you said it." Jessica pleaded me badly. I wish I could deny it too, Jessi. Who wanted to be abnormal anyway? I bet no one wants it, including me. But I can't blame anyone but myself, can I?

 

"I can't, Jessi. I'm sorry for disappointing you." I looked away, feeling afraid to look at her dejected eyes filled with disappointment toward me.

 

"I.. I still can't believe it. Who's the girl, Tae?" I nibbled my own lips, fiddled my sweating hands under the table, thinking whether I should say the truth or not. If Tiffany was here, what would she advise me?

 

"What do you mean?" I chose to play safe, at least for now so I can organize my mind about proper words to answer her next questions.

 

"You just admitted to me that you're gay and there's no way you know that if you do not like someone who's accidentally has the same gender like you by now. Correct me if I'm wrong." I forgot for a moment that Jessica isn't ordinary girl with ordinary brain. She's smart and very detail. She will look things not only from one angle but from many angles and sides to make sure she won't miss a spot. Yes, that's how she is and that's one of reasons why I love her.

 

"Smart as usual, humm Jessica Jung?" I praised her and put down my eating utensils.

 

"Thank for the compliment. So?" Jessica didn't give up and cornered me further.

 

"Please don't freak out once I spill the name of the girl? Can you at least promise me that?" I know I can't hide this any longer. It's been too long and it will be unfair to me. Why? Because if I keep this love forever unsaid then I can never move on from Jessica.

 

Maybe this is one of the reasons God sent me Tiffany, to make me braver to stand up for myself, to keep my pride intact. She told me once that I would be feel much better when I had my feelings revealed, that even the possibility of my love to be accepted was close to zero, it would still be better to say it because at least she had known. I spent some time to think it over and as usual, I have to admit that she's right (again).

 

I'm sure that she will reject me right on my face and that she won't even need to waste seconds to think about my confession first so yeah that's not what bothers me for these few days, but the things which may occur after that. What will happen to us? To her? To our friendship? That what made me lost my appetite and my mood tooo. I did ask Tiffany regarding that and she told me that I shouldn't bother about it for now. Just take a risk and see what happen and stop clouding my not so smart brain with what if's questions. But, can I really do that?

 

"Yeah, sure. You have my word." Jessica reached out her hand and patted my arm, trying to calm me down. It's should be me who calm her down, because she will soon receive the most shocking news delivered directly from my mouth in few seconds from now.

 

"It's you." I turned my hand and held her hand in my right palm. I braced myself to look at her in the eyes to convey my love for her. No matter what she may do later, at least I have told her the truth, right?

 

"Wh-what?! You don't have to make me feel better by joking that way, Taeyeon-ah. It's not funny! Now mention the true name!" Jessica covered while laughing so beautifully with her other hand. Her hand still tightly held by me.

 

"I'm afraid I'm serious, Jessi. It's you, the one I'm in love with for so long. I'm sorry but I love you. It's not the fansites who made me like this. And the readers too, they didn't do anything wrong because I'm gay already long before I decided to join that site, before I determined to be a gay writer there." I confessed swiftly.

 

Wew, where's the bravery coming from I wonder. After all these years, I finally got the nerve to confess! Wohooo!! Way to go, Kim Taeyeon!! Calm yourself down, Taeyeon! You haven't heard Jessica's reaction. Yep, I better prepare myself for the worse things about to happen now. Breathe in, breathe out. It shouldn't be that bad, right? Well I hope so.

 

"No.. No, you're not serious. This is wrong, Taeyeon-ah. No, I'm just imagining things. This isn't happening to me right now. No, it can't be true." Jessica mumbled, talking more to herself rather than talking to me. She withdrew her hand and ran away, leaving me immobile behind. She's gone, gone from my sight and gone from my sight. What's worse than this?

 

I saw her leaving me again. She didn't even make it to say no to me. She couldn't even reject me properly. She just left me hanging without any answer. She didn't say no nor yes to me. She left me for good. I didn't know whether I should be feeling happy or sad. Happy for at least I didn't have to hear the bitter rejection and sad because she didn't even bother to answer first before deciding to just run away from me. Am I that disgusting in her eyes now?

 

Should I repeat what I did 3 days ago? Going home straightly without any announcement first? But I have promised myself that once I left my house this morning, I would change for the better and that I would banish my cowardice attitude. Should I break my own promise then? I smiled bitterly to myself. I'm still sitting at the same place as before. The only difference is that the person who used to sit in front of me has gone.

 

I've been sitting here, can't get her out of my mind. I've done my best to confess and be strong. Time is ticking too slowly now. It's still my recess time and I can't continue eating my lunch. What's weird is the fact that I haven't shed a tear up until now. She had left me for approximately half an hour now but that's that. I took a glimpse at my wrist watch and yes, it's been 30 minutes since the last I saw her.

 

I feel numb and unaffected and I think my state is worse than the crybaby me. In normal condition, I should have been crying all my heart out, pouring countless tears from my eyes until my eyes got swollen and my nose is red but none of that happened. What's wrong with me? The only thing which is certain about me is that I feel much better after the sudden and the-oh-not-so-great confession. I feel like a heavy burden could finally be lifted up from my shoulder.

 

In spite of the rude attitude she showed me earlier, I feel kind of happy? Weird, right? But that's the truth. I think I can move on after today. Besides whether I chose to be honest or not, it wouldn't change the fact that Donghae would still try any kind of methods to claim Jessica so nothing to lose, right? Well, obviously I'm the loser in this game. No matter what I do or did won't matter. I will still lose Jessica anyway, so why not trying to at least be bolder and say what I've been feeling for her since forever, right? Right. I'm sure I'm right.

--------------------

 

"Taeyeon-ah, you are summoned by Mr. Yoochun. He said he wanted to meet you in his office." One of my workmate informed me.

 

"Why does he want to meet me?" I asked back.

 

"I don't know. I just went back from his room." He told me.

 

"Okay. I'll be there soon. Thank you for letting me know by the way." I gathered my things and stood up.

 

"No problem." He told me sincerely. I see he looks at me normally, unlike some other people who seemed can't mind their own business. They are paid not for gossiping, right? Tsk!

 

I pulled back my chair near the table and checked myself out. I let out a sigh knowing in order to reach his office, I have to walk pass Jessica's cubicle. I'm not a donkey, I'm not a donkey. I enchanted the same words for each step I make toward my boss office room. In about 4 more normal steps, I will reach Jessica's cubicle and if my intuition is right, she's supposedly will look at me with peculiar expression like others stares.

 

I don't really care about others actually, but how can I not care about her stare? She's literally the person I'm in love with. I stopped in my track and sweats as big as corn grain started to appear on my temple. My hands are sweating and now already wet by my own sweats. I can't really keep standing like this when my boss is waiting for me. I took a deep breath and stepped forward. I looked straight and walked passed her successfully. From the corner of my eyes I could see how her stares were empty that I failed to notice what she was thinking when she looked at me for a seconds earlier.

 

"Come in." His voice answered me when I was knocking hiss door.

 

"Do you want to see me, Sir?" I entered and closed the door behind me.

 

"Yes. Please take a sit, Taeyeon-ah." He genuinely smiled seeing me so uptight. Maybe to reduce my nervousness.

 

"Thank you, Sir." I bowed politely and did as he said.

 

"Don't be so tense, Taeyeon-ah. I'm calling you here not to discuss about work. Relax." Yoochun leaned back on his seat leisurely.

 

"Oh. I thought you wanted to fire me or something." I tried to be less tense and crossed my leg on top the other one.

 

"I have something to ask you and I hope you can be honest in answering it." He propped his chin above the table using his left palm by attaching his left elbow on the table.

 

"As long as I can answer it, I will." I commented back. How can I not feel wrought-up when the discussion feels so serious like this. Maybe I don't have to resign because this nice man in front of me will do the honor to fire me.

 

"Good. You only have to either choose yes or no so it should be simple." He beamed a smile again. It made me wonder, is it about personal matter?

 

"Is it true? Are you really what they are saying you are?" He tapped his right fingers on the table casually, like it's just a common question. It really lessen my nervousness but doesn't change the fact I still can't be totally admit to the whole world that I'm gay.

 

"I don't know what you're insinuating, Sir." I reasoned out.

 

"Are you gay?" Yoochun looked up and kept his gaze at me closely.

 

"I..I.." I diverted my eyes, trying to avoid his sharp yet tender gaze at me.

 

"I'll take it as a yes." Yoochun shrugged and leaned back again, resting her back against that confy leather seat of him.

 

"Did you hear it from-"

 

"Yes I heard it from them but if you're wrong if you think that's the source of my information about you being gay." Yoochun chuckled. I kind of not understand why he still feels this happy knowing that one of his employees is gay.

 

"I guess my gaydar thing hasn't rusty after all this time." He laughed happily, clapped his hands like this was the most normal things he ever heard. Wait! I just realized something!

 

"Gaydar?!!" I'm sure my shocked expression is enough to make his laughter louder and much more uncontrollable.

 

"Hahahha!! Yes! I'm a gay myself! Look at this ring." He took of his wedding ring and gave it to me.

 

"Look at the name embedded on the inside of the ring." Yoochun said and I did it. I furrowed my eyebrows and pulled the ring closer to my face.

 

"J-junsu? Isn't it man's name?" I asked for confirmation which he replied with another whole heartedly laugh.

 

"Hahahaha!! You are unbelievable, Kim Taeyeon! And I thought you were one of the brightest and smartest employees around here." Yoochun tapped the tables with his palm several times, maybe because he couldn't hold back his laughter anymore. But yes, I'm still confused and lost. What did he mean by that?

 

"Err.. Thank you. That's a compliment, yes?" I blankly stared at him and followed him to laugh, oddly of course.

 

"Huahahha!! It means that I'm gay too, Taeyeon-ah! I'm married to a man named Kim Junsu." He shook his head with tears resulted from laughing too hard previously.

 

"Excuse me?" I couldn't believe my ears. He was just kidding right. Maybe the full name of Junsu was Jun Su Yeong. Okay, that sounds like a terrible name.

 

"His full name is Kim Junsu but since he's married with me, it changes into Park Junsu because I'm the man in the relationship. Here is another proof if you don't believe me." He composed himself and back to his serious state. He opened the drawer and took out a photo in frame. It was him and his,, errr.. Husband?

 

"Yeah it's him, Junsu, my lover, my husband, the person whom I cherish dearly." He nodded looking at my questioning eyes, trying to further his explanation to make me understand.

 

"You're really gay." I finally could utter some words even it was kind of short.

 

"Wow! Finally! Thank you Lord for giving back her ability to talk." He said while raising both of his arms upward and I had to chuckle seeing my boss being a dork like now.

 

"Hahaha.. Thank you, Sir. It makes me much better now." I knew what his intention was and I feel very grateful for that. He tried to cheer me up by telling that I wasn't alone in this matter and trust me, it helps a lot.

 

"So you know that you're not alone, right? I'm the boss of this department and I'm gay. So what? I'm not torturing anyone anyway. I'm gay and I'm proud of it. I hope you can feel the same too, Taeyeon. Share the same confidence like me." He stood up and walked just to stop right behind me. He clasped my shoulder and squeezed it a bit.

 

"Gay or not, it won't change the fact that we are just human. Human needs to socialize and love. Regarding who is the right person to be loved depends on us. It can be a person with a different gender or a person with a same gender. What difference does it make? We are still created by God after all." Yoochun pulled a chair beside me and sat on it, turning my chair a little so I can face him.

 

"What matters the most is your heart, Taeyeon-ah. Don't change it just because of them. God made us based on His love for us. You are here now because He decided to send you from heaven to earth and so do I. Don't be afraid to be honest to yourself. No matter what people talk about you, no matter how harsh and rude it may be, please stay true to yourself. True to your heart. I know it's hard for you since it has just been revealed now." Yoochun continued. He smiled gently before continue.

 

"Treat it like you've hit by a big boulder for now but one day upon that rock, you'll build your own kingdom. Upon that rock of revelation, you'll have a strong and mighty nation and it will stand against the storm of time." Yoochun ended his speech. But frankly speaking, I don't quite understand what he meant by that.

 

"Err.. Your last sentences are cool but I don't think I understand it." I told him honestly and again he changed his expression almost immediately. He laughed out loud and hit his knees with his back pushed backward.

 

"Hahahhaha.. I know right! I don't understand it either actually. I only quote it from a church song titled 'Upon This Rock'.  Sorry sorry. I guess I've lost myself too long. It's been sometime since the last time I was able to laugh like this." Yoochun wiped the tears from the corner of his eyes and coughed a bit.

 

"Well, whatever. The thing is, I don't care whether you are straight or not because that won't matter to me. What matter for me the most is that you are one of my best workers out there and I don't want you to back out, chicken out, or whatever you may call it just because you are slightly different from others. So please if you have initial intention to resign before, cancel it for me? Please, Taeyeon-ah?" Yoochun pouted, trying to be as cute as possible and I had to try hard not to smack his jutted lips. He's an adorable boss, isn't he?

 

"I will even make a campaign to support gay workers in our building if it's necessary." He wiggled his eyebrows.

 

"Hahaha,, stop it, boss. You're not a kid anymore!" I finally burst out laughing. I coincidentally showed my unique laugh which made him dazed for a second.

 

"Whoaaa,, what a laugh you have there! Hahaha.. But I'm glad to see you laughing again. I will always support you, Taeyeon-ah. Unfortunately I still have to stick to the regulation to treat you equally like others when we're working. So I guess you still have to deal with your problems alone. Yet, you know where to find me when you need to talk things out, right?"

 

"Yeah, I know. Thanks' again, boss. I really appreciate your kindness. You are too humble and generous in treating me and I can never thank you enough for that." I could finally breathe more freely now. And yes, I changed my mind about resigning thingy. I will still work here and defend my dignity.

 

"Good to know. Now you may go back to your work. Sorry for wasting your time." Yoochun has back to his bossy original state. He nodded and smiled a little.

 

"Thanks' for everything, boss and I promise to make you proud with my work." I stood up and excused myself. Things aren't as bad as I've expected anyway. Well it's worse regarding Jessica's reaction but aside from that, I think it's alright. Me being gay and had been discovered by others are alright.

-----------------------------

 

Today passed too fast that without me knowing, the sky outside the window has darkened and the sun is almost gone. I took a glance at the clock on my table and I gasped.  Wow, time is surely ticking too fast to my liking. Hmm,, maybe it's because my mind was too occupied with my 'work'. Yup! My work was none other than updating my story! I've done my responsibility anyway so it's okay to do other tasks, yes?

 

Do you realize that my mood is practically still stable? Despite the fact I just got my confession hanging without any definite answer. At least, I've told her the truth. Oh come on, I'm tired thinking about my bad luck in love story. The first time I've fallen in love, the first time I've ever confessed, the first time I've ever received a cold rejection. What's more there for me, huh? I tried to entertain myself by writing and updating 'Enraged Lust'. Kekekke,, another rated chapter woohooo!! I only need some time to read new comments from my loyal readers later.

 

Have I told you how I feel myself become slightly famous lately? Yes yes yes, you read it right, buddy! Many private messages and walls flooding my inbox!! And I'm so like very very happy for it! Forget about Jessica for now and let's just enjoy the life! Yoochun is right, what's so bad about being gay anyway, huh? Aside from being rejected by the person who accidentally has the same gender like you and the prior reason why you are admitted to be gay, I guess everything is fine, or is it?

 

As much as I feel my hear shattered to pieces and tear away by unrequited love, I feel the need to hold back. I don't want to be caught crying in my table and I'm too lazy to move my short legs to head to the toilet to hide my crying self so uhm no no, let's just save the tears for later. I've smoothly updated 2 chapters!! And no, I'm not planning to continue the sad story for now because one drama in my real life is enough for now. I don't want to pour out another drama to my story. Fortunately, this time I could update the chapters smoothly, you know without having to share another fright of someone standing behind me and took a peek on the chapters I was writing. Yup! There was no Jessica so you could say that I’m safe.

 

Now that I’m talking about the blonde, the person who has successfully captivated my heart, has she gone home? I stood up and tidied up my table and things. I checked whether my phone and other electronic devices are already inside my bag or not before taking a peek by tip toing a little bit and directed my eyes to her cubicle. I sensed no movements from there. So, she really has gone home now huh? I feel a pang inside my heart knowing usually she always came to my table and excused herself before she went home but it seemed since today everything would be different. I let out a sigh due to my disappointment toward myself and her; me because initially I was the one who caused this and her because she couldn’t at the very least utter those 2 letters for me or in other words, said NO to me. I know I can’t possibly blame her because mostly it was my fault for falling for the person who has the same gender as me. If I was placed at her position, maybe I would do the same or probably worse such as slapping or yelling the person who confessed to me that recklessly.

 

With my head hung low, I descended the floor down to the lobby. It looks like my bad luck doesn’t end here when I see the rain pouring so heavily from outside the window. I stand up like a statue watching the raindrops falling from the sky before finally scattering around when it has touched the floor.  The splashes of rain that keeps hitting the window mesmerized me. My mother was right, I should have brought the rain coat with me. I feel bad for I know I can't make it to the dinner on time or worse, I can't come there since there's no sign the rain will stop any soon.

 

"Excuse me, are you Kim Taeyeon?" Suddenly a girl beside me talked and from the name she just mentioned earlier, I'm quite sure it was my name that she called.

 

"Yes, I am Kim Taeyeon. Can I help you with something?" I turned my head around to see a girl, a cute one it is, slightly shorter than me with a quite beautiful smile looking at me right in the eyes.

 

"Err.. I know this is sudden that- ah! I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Soonkyu, Lee Soonkyu but I prefer to be called Sunny." She shyly reached out her hand and bit her lower lips. She looked so.... Nervous?

 

"Nice to meet you, Sunny." I welcomed her hand and shook it. My sadness and negative thoughts lost for a seconds. Hmm,, maybe today isn't that bad. I smiled and continued talking to her while waiting for the rain to stop.

------------------------

 

I've arrived at home and as expected, there's no one home yet. The rains stopped after an hour and knowing that I didn't want them to wait longer for me, I texted my younger brother to continue with the dinner and not to wait for me. I asked him to wrap some leftover food to bring home later. He said that my father kind of felt sad for not being able to see me at the family dinner, but there's nothing I could really do about it, could I?

 

I clicked the light on so the living room would be brightened. I made sure the light had on in several rooms such as living room and kicthen before climbing the stairs and heading to my room. I threw my purse on the bed and directly went to the bathroom to clean after myself. I erased the make up while waiting for the bath up to be filled by warm water. I really need to dip my body inside the tub right now to think over of each event occured today, starting from my decision, Jessica, Yoochun, to Sunny, a girl whom I just met today, eh.. Less than a day to be exact.

 

I dried my newly rinsed hair using the towel wrapped around my neck. I already wore my pajamas the time I went out from the bathroom. I looked up to see the hanging clock, showing it was 15 minutes to 9 pm. I smiled in hope the person I missed to talk with the most for today hasn't asleep yet. Yep, you're right! She's no one but Tiffany! My lovely yet annoying yet again caring and smart reader. She ditched me today when were were chatting after lunch and she hadn't contacted me again until now, saying that she needed to do some revision with her thesis and wouldn't be able to do that if I kept bugging her. Tsk, she's a meanie sometimes :(

 

I hang my towel nearby and brushed my still slightly dampened hair. I switched on my laptop and while waiting for the laptop to react, I took my phone from my purse and charged it. The screen suddenly lit up as soon as my phone came back to life. It told me there's a what's app notification. I felt excited, hoping it was Tiffany. I quickly clicked the application folder and opened the message. My smile vanished as soon as it appeared. Evidently it came from Sunny. She said it was nice meeting me and was a pleasure to be given a chance to have early dinner with me. I haven't said about my dinner with Sunny, have I? Well let's just hope I could chat with that Scarlethwang tonight so I wouldn't have to tell the story twice, yep to you and Tiffany.

 

I gave a quick and short reply to her because I felt more excited in chatting with Tiffany rather than with Sunny. And have I said how she's so flirty toward me? I just met her today but she already called me with sweet names. It also turned out that she's one of my readers too. I told you later when I chat with Tiffany, okay? So I went to my table and hurriedly signed in. I sit on the chair in front of the table while tapping my fingers on the table. I wait for the program to proccess and yes! She's online! Wohooo..

 

Kim Taeyeon: Tippannniiii!!!

 

Scarlethwang: Excited to talk with me, author?

 

Kim Taeyeon: Ehem.. Not really. As a humble author, I just tried to be nice and greet you.

 

Scarlethwang: Aah, really? Okay hi to you too. Since you just wanted to greet me, I think it will be okay if I log out now, right? Bye author :))

 

Kim Taeyeon: Wait!!! Aish!! Yes yes, I feel so excited seeing you online. Happy now??

 

Scarlethwang: As much as I want to flatter you but hmm,, I don't think I have a reason to be happy. You just said yourself that you're the one who felt excited. Am I wrong?

 

Kim Taeyeon: Gaaahh!! I hate you T.T

 

Scarlethwang: Still don't have enough money to upgrade your processor I see. Hmm hmm.. Learn to save your money, please author? Don't you have pity on me to always have done brainstorming, searching for simple words in order to chat with you and make you happy?

 

Kim Taeyeon: Sigh. Why are you so mean to me?? Huwaaa.. I will fire you and end your contract as my number one fan immediately. Hmmph!

 

Scarlethwang: You have no right to make me fired, author. You don't even give me salary so what makes you think you can fire me, hmm?? Hehehe.. Let's end the joke here. I feel bad for you. So, how's your day?

 

Kim Taeyeon: Good. I feel migrain already debating with you. And how come you and others call me smart when I always end up being a loser whenever we argue? Sigh.

 

Scarlethwang: That's simply because others are oblivious that me, one of the readers is much smarter than you. Kekeke..

 

Kim Taeyeon: Sigh. Can't we chat normally, Fany-ah? Be a normal reader for me once, please?

 

Scarlethwang: Ara ara.. So, what's up, author? But fyi, I'm being honest when I said you're my fav.author and it still applies until now.

 

Kim Taeyeon: Yeah, yeah I believe it.

 

Scarlethwang: A penny for your thoughts, author? What's in your mind? You have something to tell me, yes? I sense hmm,, depression and sadness mixed with excitement and curiousity? Hmm.. Strange,,

 

Kim Taeyeon: Wow! Sharp as usual, Hwang. Standing ovation for you. So yeah, I trust you knew already that I chose to stay working in my company.

 

Scarlethwang: Yes, I did know it. However, there's more right?

 

Kim Taeyeon: Yeah. I confessed to Jessica today. It was really out of plan. I honestly didn't intend to confess to her, well at least not today or maybe not ever but the question she asked made me accidentally blurted out my inner feelings T.T

 

Scarlethwang: What's so bad about being true to your feelings, author? And what did she say about that? Did she reject you? It wouldn't be that surprising if she did though. Hehhehe..

 

Kim Taeyeon: It would be better if she did reject me though. She at first didn't believe and thought that I was just kidding but once I told her I was being honest, she just left me. She didn't even say NO to me, Fany-ah T.T

 

Scarlethwang: Hmm.. As I've predicted but I never thought my preminition would come true though. Cheer up, author! The world isn't end yet just because you were indirectly rejected by her. Think from the positive side :)

 

Kim Taeyeon: How can I think from the positive side when there's none, Fany! It hurts, it hurts a lot. If I didn't confess then at least she would still be my best friend. But now, I've lost her completely. Sigh. What do I do?

 

Scarlethwang: And yet if you didn't confess you'd be forever be haunted by your feelings. You would forever run away from yourself, author. At least half of your burden has been lifted up by now. Am I wrong?

 

Kim Taeyeon: No, you're not wrong. I kind of hope she would at least give me the proper closure. Sigh.

 

Scarlethwang: What closure, author? You never even started anything with her yet! Don't expect too much, please? The painful feelings will be doubled or even quadrupled if your expectation can't be granted. You know what I mean right?

 

Kim Taeyeon: Ehmm.. Not really. Hehehe.. What about my expectation? I didn't expect anything.

 

Scarlethwang: Sigh. Let me press restart button first on your processor. It idles too long. Probably because the mainboard has been burned or the fan inside isn't working anymore.

 

Kim Taeyeon: YAH!!

 

Scarlethwang: Hehehe.. I'm just kidding, author. What I meant was that; it was a lie if you said you didn't expect anything from Jessica, author. Come on, I know you better than that. You just said you needed closure, that you would be happy if at least she was able to say no. Because it was better than leaving you hanging, right? It's called expectation, author and apparently your expectation couldn't come true and as I've said, the pain would be doubled. Err.. Do you understand what I'm saying? Because if not then I'll have to press the restart button again :P

 

Kim Taeyeon: But I have right to hear her answer, right? It was that hard for her to say no to me? Or was it because I'm too charming and beautiful to be rejected? :P maybe she couldn't say no because she needed time to think. Hehehe..

 

Scarlethwang: Or maybe she didn't have heart to puke in front of your face? Face it, author. Like it or not, she has rejected you indirectly. If she has the same feelings as yours, the first thing she did should be gasping and in the next seconds, your lips attached to each others. But hey wake up! It didn't happen, right?? It means she's straight and she's too shocked to even say anything and that's exactly why she left. Got it?

 

Kim Taeyeon: Sigh. As much as what you said is true, couldn't you say it in a nicer or smoother way? It's rude you know T.T

 

Scarlethwang: I'm sorry author for knowing you too deep. If I said it in a nice way like, 'don't worry author maybe she just needed time to think or don't worry author I'm sure by tomorrow she would have an answer for you'. I'm sure you would be too happy hearing that and you'd hope that what I was saying would be come true. You'd keep hoping and waiting that someday it would come true but no, author! It will never come true! As much as you expect it to happen but no, it won't. So open up your eyes and face the harsh truth.

 

Kim Taeyeon: Sigh. Does it mean that I'm trully officially explicitly rejected? Can't I at least still have her as a friend?

 

Scarlethwang: If you want to be more sure about it then go confront her tomorrow. Ask her to have lunch together and encounter her with those questions because I don't have valid answer for that, author. I'm sorry :(

 

Kim Taeyeon: Sigh. I guess you are right. But I don't think I can face her after what happened today. It will be too embarassing to pretend that nothing occured.

 

Scarlethwang: Why do you think so? I mean today is today while tomorrow is part of our future that hasn't been revealed yet so everything can happen, author. You will never know if you don't try. Besides, why you should feel ashamed? As you've said, it's your right to confess and it's her right to or not to answer it. Tell me if I'm wrong.

 

Kim Taeyeon: Logically yes, you are right but unfortunately the situation isn't as easy as that. I can't possibly confront her just like that, can I?

 

Scarlethwang: Then don't. Simple, right?

 

Kim Taeyeon: Sigh. How could you treat my felings easily like that?

 

Scarlethwang: I don't mean like that, author but sometimes if your heart can't think clearly then maybe it's time to switch your heart with your brain because by that, you can think more properly. I'm forced to say that to you because I know how you love flattery but flattery will get you nowhere.

 

Kim Taeyeon: Sigh. You are right, Fany-ah. I guess I just have to accept the bitter truth that Jessica has indirectly rejected me and even discard me from her best friend list.

 

Scarlethwang: Don't worry, author you'll find a better person for you.

 

Kim Taeyeon: Yeah whom I'm sure it won't be you since you are no better than me :P

 

Scarlethwang: Don't be too cocky, author. I don't want to be that person too. At the very least, I want to have a lover whose height is much taller than you, with a y body, and good attitude. Ah! And also a person who can outsmart me and definitely, it's not you :P

 

Kim Taeyeon: YAH!! I'm smart too you know! Heck I even am sure that I'm smarter than you! I've greaduated from one of prestigious university after all and about height, there's nothing much I can do about it, can I? Sigh... But! I have a y and curvy body thank you.

 

Scarlethwang: Who's the 5th president of United States?

 

Kim Taeyeon: Excuse me? How do I know?! I'm sure you don't know it either! Not knowing that doesn't determine my smart ability! Hmpph!

 

Scarlethwang: Yes you are right! I don't know it either. If you know it, it means you're smarter than me but since you don't know it, it means that you are NOT smarter than me :P donkey kim is so slow lately. Sigh. And yeah about the height. You are right. Who can blame you for stop growing at the age of 15 right? Kekekke..

 

Kim Taeyeon: YAH!! Don't mock me about height thingy! Sigh. I hate you. At least I'm a smart person even if you don't want to admit it.

 

Scarlethwang: You're smart but definition about smart related with you is different from ordinary smart :)

 

Kim Taeyeon: Sigh. What are you talking about? I don't really understand T.T

 

Scarlethwang: And I just mentioned you're smart. Wait! Let me redo it. Just pretend I never said it :P

 

Kim Taeyeon: Sigh. What do I do with you? T.T I never once met a person like you and tell me again why God should send you to meet me??

 

Scarlethwang: Stop sighing, author. Your nose poop is flying everywhere.. Don't you feel bad for your mother to clean after your scattered nose poop?

 

Kim Taeyeon: Yah!! How could you say that?? And my nose is clean, thank you!! Can you even call it a nose poop? Eyywhhh.. It's disgusting.. Unsanitary Hwang!!

 

Scarlethwang: Hahaha.. Am I wrong when your nostrils practically as big as your other hole below? Kekeke.. And so that probably the poop is coming out from the same hole,, ewww.. I feel so dirty to even talk about your poop. Can we change the topic, please author?

 

Kim Taeyeon: Errr.. Who asked you to talk about the poop thingy?? And YAH!! My nostrils isn't as big as my !!! You are too much, Tiffany Hwang!! I will block you immediately!!

 

Scarlethwang: Huahahhaa.. I never said your nostrils is as big as your !! It's just your own assumption, author. Don't be mad, please? I'm sorry T.T I know I was too much but don't do as far as blocking me.. Who will advise you when I'm no longer there? Who will be there for you when you need someone to share your story? Reconsider, please?

 

Kim Taeyeon: Fine! I'll forgive you for now! But one more time you talk about my nostrils and poop, I will make sure you won't be able to read my story anymore.

 

Scarlethwang: I promise not to talk about it again. Heheehe,, thank you author! So next topic.. The first one is end with the conclussion that sorry but Jessica doesn't love you that way and even it hurts, you have to accept it. Be strong, author! I know you'll be alright :)

 

Kim Taeyeon: Thank you, Fany!

 

Scarlethwang: Okay, the cause behind sadness and depression had been revealed. Now it's excitement and curiousity turn. What's the cause, author? Care to spill it?

 

Kim Taeyeon: Not telling :P

 

Scarlethwang: Are you sure? Okay then, it's your choice. If you don't have anything else to say then I think I will just log out now.

 

Kim Taeyeon: WAIT!!! Fine you win (again). My boss summoned me this afternoon.

 

Scarlethwang: It's a good news, isn't it? So what about it? Did you just get your promotion or something?

 

Kim Taeyeon: Na ah, wrong answer. Try again, Hwang :P

 

Scarlethwang: Hmm.. Don't tell me that your boss is gay too???

 

Kim Taeyeon: Teng tong tung teng.. Bingo!! He's a gay and he's married to a man!! Hahaha.. So yeah, literally he summoned me to assure me that being gay in his company isn't prohibited and that I shouldn't worry and must not resign just because of that! :D

 

Scarlethwang: Give 5 minutes.

 

Kim Taeyeon: Eh? What for?? You wanna go to the toilet?

 

Scarlethwang: I think I'm gonna fainted :s

 

Kim Taeyeon: Errr.. Can you wake up now?

 

Scarlethwang: Well, at least it's a great news for you. You must be feeling a little bit relieved, yes?

 

Kim Taeyeon: Ho oh.. You're right! I'm happy that he opened up about himself. I can't thank you enough for that. He's like the best boss I've ever met you know :))

 

Scarlethwang: I'm happy to hear it too, author. Finally there's someone out there who can understand your unique and contagious sickness.

 

Kim Taeyeon: Yah! It's not a sickness and definitely not contagious!! I'm different I admit but that's that. Sigh, you're not helping at all T.T wait!! Except if you're feeling that you feel unspeakable attractiveness toward the same gender too.. Kekeke,, just admit it, Fany.. Who's the unlucky girl?? *wiggle wiggle

 

Scarlethwang: YAH!! SLAP!! KICK!! PUNCH!! THROW HUGE CABINET!! SMACK YOU WITH A BRICK!! I'm sraight!! Aaaghh!! Stop saying that I'm like you, author!!

 

Kim Taeyeon: Huahahahahaha.. *tossing and turning caused of laughing too hard.

 

Scarlethwang: Stop laughing! Hmmpphh!!

 

Kim Taeyeon: I'm tearing up because of you.. Anyway should you find yourself feel kind of odd attraction for girls, I promise to help you find the right one for you! If I may ask, which one do you prefer, boyish or girlish??

 

Scarlethwang: YAH!!! I'm normal you insane writer!! STRANGLE YOU!! STEP ON YOUR STOMACH!! BIT YOUR WRIST!! HIT YOUR HEAD WITH A BASEBALL STICK!! Stop it, author!! I'm into guys!! Aaaarrrghhh!!!

 

Kim Taeyeon: Awww,, you're a maschosist aren't you? A hardcore one and love to do so much. Naughty but I like it anyway! Quite rough for your first experience though. Hahahha...

 

Scarlethwang: Stop it right there, KIM TAEYEON!! I assure you won't go further than that. Hmmpphh!!

 

Kim Taeyeon: You can even moan my name now?? O.O wow, Tiffany Hwang!! WOW!! Kekeke..

 

Scarlethwang: I'll stop talking with you. I will even stop reading your stories. I will go as far as going out from your life if you continue it.

 

Kim Taeyeon: Awrite awrite.. I'm sorry.. Hahaha,, thanks' for the laugh, though. Anyway, I met a girl when I was on my way home. It was raining and it forced me to wait in the lobby since I didn't bring my coat this day. Then there's this girl. She has a blonde short hair and she's shorther than me by an inch.

 

Scarlethwang: I forgive you. Humm,, please continue with this new girl, author-shii.

 

Kim Taeyeon: Right. Her name is Sunny and coincidentally she works in my building too, just a floor below mine. What's funnier is that she's one of my readers too. Apparently she heard about me being gay and she braced herself to confront me directly about that. I applauded her for that.

 

Kim Taeyeon: So we talked and she invited me to quick dinner nearby. She asked about the gossips and since I had nothing to lose anymore, I chose to be honest. I told her about my preferences and she told me about hers too. She said she was bi and she loved to read fanfics on AFF. So yeah I told her that I'm a writer in AFF too! Incidentally, she's a reader of mine!! Shocking right? What a small world we have here.

 

Kim Taeyeon: We talked casually and she asked me my number, saying that we had to keep in touch since we both are fans of snsd and that she's a fan of my writings. Weirdly, she calls me sweet names. Like err.. You know..

 

Scarlethwang: Like what, author? And why I think you feel so excited when you knew that she's a bi? Sigh, I really have a bad feeling about this.

 

Kim Taeyeon: She calls me baby, babe, darling, and such. Hehehe.. Am I that easy to read? Well, yeah I kind of feel happy to know that there's someone out there who's like me, to know that I'm not the only one who's different from others.

 

Scarlethwang: Oh my God! I think I wanna puke! She maybe addressed you as the wrong person so please don't be too happy about that, author. Or maybe she called you babo but you missheard it as baby. Please wake up, author!!

 

Kim Taeyeon: Yah!! Can't you take me seriously for once?!! Errr.. And no she didn't call me wrongly! She still calls me sweet names even in what's app. She just asked me what I was doing as we're speaking. She asked me, 'babe, what are you doing?'

 

Scarlethwang: Hiii!! I'm shivering now.. And uhmm.. Do you know where she lives?

 

Kim Taeyeon: Uhmm.. Yeah. I drove her home just now. Why do you wanna know it?

 

Scarlethwang: Can I have her address??

 

Kim Taeyeon: Eh? What for?

 

Scarlethwang: I want send her funeral flowers to show my deep condolence. It must be hard for her to call you sweet names like that, moreover to sit on the same table with you when you both had dinner earlier. Sigh. I feel bad for her.. I just hope she won't get stomachache later. Please be healthy, Sunny-shii. I know I haven't met you in person but do know that I care for you.

 

Kim Taeyeon: YAH!!! Watch out your mouth! Even if she have stomachache later, I'm sure it's caused by flying butterflies inside her stomach when she's seeing me earlier :P

 

Scarlethwang: Keep hoping, author. Keep hoping! Even I'm sure your hope will go futile.

 

Kim Taeyeon: Shouldn't you at least support me? I'm given an opportunity to love again, you know. Huhuhu..

 

Scarlethwang: Don't keep your hope too high, author. She just met you today. There's possibilty she doesn't have good intention toward you. And please don't be too easy, author? You keep smiling whenever you see her calling you sweet names.

 

Kim Taeyeon: Hihihi.. I'm sorry. I just can't help it. I'm just that happy, you know :))

 

Scarlethwang: I'm happy for you but I'm just afraid you'll have another heartache. You know I care for you, right?

 

Kim Taeyeon: Do I sense some jealousy?? You can stop me now if you want, Hwang. Get rid that pride of yours and come to get me. Who knows I'll be all yours, personal writer in your future. Ehem.. Hehehe,, Sounds nice, right? *wiggle wiggle

 

Scarlethwang: #go get butcher's knife and throw it at your face!!

 

Kim Taeyeon: Wooo,, another act eh?? I love it. Please torture me nicely, Hwang..

 

Scarlethwang: YAH!!!! Stop it author!! I'm shivering in fear right now. Hiiii..

 

Kim Taeyeon: Huahahhaa.. Okay okay. Umm but thank you for always being there for me, Hwang. You mean a lot to me in spite the fact that we've never met even once. You know that, right?

 

Scarlethwang: You're most welcome, author. You mean a lot to me too. Just not in a romantic way. You get what I mean, right Donkey Kim? :P

 

Kim Taeyeon: Will we ever meet someday?

 

Scarlethwang: I don't know. Perhaps yes perhaps no. We'll see about that but as you've said, in spite the fact that we've never met, you will always mean a lot for me. Remember that, author.

 

Kim Taeyeon: I'll keep that in mind. Thanks' again. You'll always be my favorite reader :))

 

Scarlethwang: And you will always be my favorite author whose brain processor is still Pentium II and almost stupider than a donkey :))

 

Kim Taeyeon: YAH!!! Stop insulting me will you? T.T

 

Scarlethwang: Hihihi.. Anyway, who's Sunny's account name?

 

Kim Taeyeon: Humm.. I don't know. She didn't tell me and I didn't ask either. Why? Is it that important?

 

Scarlethwang: Please ask her tomorrow. I want to investigate her further. Don't want you to experience another heart break.

 

Kim Taeyeon: Awww.. You're so sweet..  You care a lot about me, don't you? I'm blushing hard now..

 

Scarlethwang: Stop being cocky, author. I just don't want you crawl back to me and cry because that Sunny girl suddenly leave you or break your heart. I will feel bad about myself by then because it means I have to waste time hearing your unstoppable blabbering again :P

 

Kim Taeyeon: Meanie T.T

 

Scarlethwang: #give you a dirty mat to wipe your tears away

 

Kim Taeyeon: Huwaaaa.. Tiffany is a mean person T.T I'll make sure my brain has been upgraded the next time you mock at me again. It's a promise.

 

Scarlethwang: What now? Crybaby Tae? Hehehe.. I never mock you, author. I'm just stating the facts. You're so slow, is that wrong? Nope. You're stupid, especially in love field. Am I wrong? Nope. You're an easy person for being flattered and blushing easily. Am I wrong? Nope. So?

 

Kim Taeyeon: Shut up, Hwang! So what do you think about this Sunny girl?

 

Scarlethwang: Hmm.. Just remember to ask her full name and her account in AFF. I will inverstigate her further for you. For now, just please control yourself. Don't be too easy. Don't let her easily flirt with you. Let her be a flirty person but it doesn't mean that you have to fall into her trap too. She may call you sweet names but don't call her the same too, at least for now. You haven't gathered the information regarding her further, have you? Like does she have a boyfriend? What is her background? And such. Got it, author?

 

Kim Taeyeon: Her name is Lee Soonkyu. That's all I know so far. I'll ask the rest later and yes, I'll try to do according to your advice. Thank you very much, Fany-ah.

 

Scarlethwang: Don't just try, but give your best effort. I know it will be hard for you. Keep reminding yourself how painful it feels to be left hanging and rejected so make sure you won't have to experience it again. Okay, author?

 

Kim Taeyeon: It's a promise, Fany. Anyway, how's your thesis progress so far?

 

Scarlethwang: Hmm.. My advisor is at Japan right now. He will be back in 2 weeks so yeah, I'm not as busy as usual nowadays. Thanks' for asking :)

 

Kim Taeyeon: Great! Does it mean that we can meet soon?? Tell me your address and we can just have a casual lunch or dinner near your place. How's that sound?

 

Scarlethwang: Meeting you? Then it means my advisor will be back by tomorrow and that I have to revise my thesis again.

 

Kim Taeyeon: Yah!! How could you!! Don't you want to meet me?? T.T

 

Scarlethwang: Maybe not now, author. I give you my words that I will always there for you even not physically. Don't worry. I'm just a chat away :))

 

Kim Taeyeon: But I want to meet you!! I want to see my advisor for life in live... You really don't want to meet me, do you?

 

Scarlethwang: It's not like that, author. Hmm,, maybe when SNSD has concert in here. They will come in 2 months. So yeah, see you in 2 months? I don't want to meet you if my status is still a student. Please understand it, author T.T

 

Kim Taeyeon: Geez.. Okay okay. I'll keep your promise; always there and meet up in 2 months.

 

Scarlethwang: I'm sorry, author but I have a promise to meet my friend tomorrow morning. Can I resign from this chatting, first?

 

Kim Taeyeon: One last question. Err.. Are you still single?

 

Scarlethwang: Yeah I'm single but unfortunately I'm not unavailable for a certain person named Kim Taeyeon! So stop that dirty thoughts of yours!! It's polluting my innocent brain T.T

 

Kim Taeyeon: YAH!! Stop reading my inner thoughts!! That's trespassing!!

 

Scarlethwang: I'm just trying to straighten up your diverted mind. Hihihi.. So, goodnight?

 

Kim Taeyeon: Yeah, goodnight to you too and thanks' again. I (┌','┐), love ('⌣'ʃƪ)♥, ┒('o'┒) you, (ʃ⌣ƪ)

 

Scarlethwang: (ˇ__ˇ)---O)ˇЗˇ)

 

Kim Taeyeon: (◦ˇзˇ)ε˘`)

 

Scarlethwang: Do that again and I'll kill you!! Aaaghh!! STAB YOU WITH CHOPSTICK!!!

 

Kim Taeyeon: #spreading my thighs so ily and let you that thing down below. Hehehe..

 

Scartlethwang: YAH!! ert author!!! Aaghh!! I can't handle it anymore. I'm out of here! Bye author!!

 

Kim Taeyeon: Bye, kiddo. Have a nice dream.

 

As usual, she logged out first. Maybe because she really couldn't handle my lewd words. I smiled while scrolling up my chat history with her. And yeah, it may sound scary but I always save my chat history with her so whenever I feel like talking to her but unable to, I simply can open up my chat history and reread it again. Weird, right? Oh yeah! I almost forgot that I haven't replied Sunny's last message.

 

I first shut down my laptop and fold it nicely. I turned the main lamp off and clicked on my bed lamp on the nightstand beside my bed. I checked her message. As usual, she called me sweet names. The contain of her message was, 'Babe, what r u doing? It's ing hot in here. Should I discard my top so I can feel the breeze? What do you think?' My eyes popped opened reading that message while my mind imagining things wildly.

 

I still can remember her figure clearly. She's quite y for a short girl. Decent sized s, curvy waist, smooth thigh, good looking . Oh my god!! What do I do?!! I need to enchant Tiffany's words to stop flattering myself and try not to be affected by her teasing. But how can I? T.T

 

My fingers betrayed me when it typed, 'is it really that hot, baby? Please don't do that. Your tummy will hurt later. And your words make me imagining ert things. What do I do?' The regret came after I sucessfully sent her the reply. I quickly turned off my phone in case she replied with a naughtier contents. I know I should have felt sad and rejected but hey, I met a new person today and she calls me sweet names already! What so bad about it, right?

 

Actually, what makes me keep smiling isn't that Sunny girl nor Yoochun's support and definitely it's not because of the mean Jessica who just left me hanging this afternoon. It's because of my virtual loyal reader. She just said that she would always be there in spite of everything. It's really hard to control my feelings whenever I chat with her. No matter how she's so annoying for always mocking and insulting me, I can't lie that that insults still can make me smiling like an idiot.

 

I wonder to myself, what is this feeling? I'm sure it's not love though. Because, how can I fall with the person I've never met? It's nearly impossible, right? Right. Well, maybe it's just sisterly feelings or something like that. It's nice to have a person who knows you inside out even before I tell her the story. She knows me that well. It's unbelievable, right? Right.

 

I promise myself to do the same. I'll always be there for her as she always there for me. I smiled for the last time before saying my prayer to God, telling Him how thankful I am for receiving such a beautiful virtual friend like Tiffany. I also hope for Jessica. I pray she will get her happiness even if it's not with me. I'm sure I can move on from her because I know Tiffany will guide me and walk with me, accompany me to move on from her. She will help me and always there for me. About Sunny? Hmm.. I don't know. She's new for me after all.

 

I shut myself while whispering the words Tiffany gave me. Always there. Yes, we will always be there for each other, right Tiffany Hwang? And I thought I kept smiling even in my dream. Goodnight universe, goodnight Tiffany, and goodbye Jessica. You will be forever my love, my unrequited love.

---------------------------------

 

Ok so I quickened the update of this story for a certain someone. Yes it's you scarlethwang in real life!! That's how much you mean to me T.T

 

I spent hours to write this so I hope you like the chapter and warning! Drama will play a huge role in the next chapter. Wohooo,, I hope some of you like drama.

 

I've broken my promise to end it before it reached 100 pages because apparently it has exceeded that T.T

 

Thank you for reading and subscribing this, moreover to give comment and upvote it. Anyway, please do give me more comments? I really want to know your opinion regarding this story, whether it's according to your liking or not.

 

And for those who wonder whether this story is real or not, I'll answer it. Yes, it's basically real and happens in my life but of course with some modification here and there.

 

That's all from me. Thanks' again and see you in the next chapter!! I (┌','┐), love ('⌣'ʃƪ)♥, ┒('o'┒) you, (ʃ⌣ƪ)