A month passed since that time, the moment when I decided to move out from Sunny’s apartment and trying to seek for my own place. After wandering around alone for 3 days in a row, I could finally find the perfect place where I could live in. The place had only a bedroom, one kitchen, not so big living room, and a bathroom. It’s small yes but definitely, it’s not shabby. According to my opinion, it’s perfect, not to mention it’s cheap and the location fits perfectly. It’s only about half an hour from my workplace using bus or around 15 minutes using private vehicle such as car or motorcycle since there’s no way I would want to use truck or worse, bulldozer?! Hahaha.. I know it’s lame T.T

 

It’s such a lie if I’m saying life has been well and indifferent since then. As you’ve read about my miserable destiny, unfortunately nothing much has changed. My parents still disown me and none of my family member tried to contact me, not that I expected they would do anyway, but as their daughter, and their older sister, don’t I have a right even just a little to hope? Okay, it’s useless talking about them. It will only result me being crying accompanied by cheap wine I brought in the street market. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I brought an additional item to my not so vast apartment. It is a cabinet which especially I bought to put my bottles of alcohol drinks. Don’t ask why, because they are my best friends now. They would willingly accompany me in my lonely nights, when I feel secluded and isolated from the outer world. Now I’m talking like an alien who’s deserted in a world called earth, aren’t I? Sigh~ Don’t mind me then.

 

Okay, let me answer the question one by one. Where should I start? Sunny? Right. Since that day, my relationship with Sunny is understandably sprawled. We become distant and drifting away, but not totally. Sometimes we still have lunch together but not as often as we used to. Once a week at the very least has enough to elaborate that we still try to be nice to each other. She however still has difficulty to control herself whenever she’s around me. She often clings to me, holds my arm, hugs me before separating to our own floor, and pecks my cheek. Thankfully, she doesn’t kiss me on the lips as often as she used to. Instead of kissing me feverishly, she would kiss me passionately and sometime if she doesn’t ignore my plea in my eyes, she would just peck me shortly on the lips. I’m stupid, you’re saying? Naah~ For me, it’s called understanding. I understand she needs time to adjust to our new situation and time is the only thing I can give since my heart has been practically taken by a certain someone. Who? You’ll know soon enough.

 

Now now now, let’s move to uhmm~~ Tiffany? Hahaha.. My favorite topic is her nowadays!! We continue where we left off. We’re good. Ehmm, how should I tell you about her? I don’t know but I keep being nervous whenever I remember her, either her face or simply her name. We chat every day, through any chatting/social media that we both have. If she’s busy in her campus or me being busy in my workplace, then sadly we would stop messaging each other. The fact that she has been officially graduated doesn’t change the bitter truth that she’s still busy around the campus. She just got a project given by her supervisor regarding the campus accreditation or something like that, I couldn’t remember clearly. What I know that she is often being busy at day and comes home late and since she comes home late, being too busy in campus, she would be very tired, too tired to even sit on her usual place to chat with me. Sigh. Just when I found her again and sure about my heart, this thing has to happen. I guess, I really have bad luck in love field, no? T.T and her being busy and tired is one of the reasons why I let wine, tequila, and vodka to accompany me instead of her. The more, the merrier, right? Say yes to vodka, tequila, and wine then!! Wohhoo~~

 

How’s my work and my relationship with Jessica? My work is great! I mean, just a week ago, I got a raise in my salary by 30%! How great is that! Ooh, how I love Yoochun now and his wife, errrmm Jun Su Yeong? Darn, I forgot his name, Oh whatever~ Yoochun said I deserved it since I have dedicated myself and proved myself worthy for the company. He also rewarded me a bonus which I have used to buy myself a new bike, scooter actually. It’s surely not better than the previous bike I owned but it’s better than nothing at least. What’s the color? It’s blue of course! My favorite color before pink!! I know you must be grimacing hearing I love pink. Ermm,, the actual reason was because Tiffany loves pink and then I love Tiffany so I love pink. There, I say it (hiding myself under the desk).

 

Sigh. Honestly talking about her is the topic I’d love to avoid the most but then again I know you have right to know about it too so yeah, I will try to explain it in the shortest way possible. Luckily there’s close to nothing happened between me and Jessica lately so there’s nothing to tell~ She’s still Jessica while me is still me, the timid, introvert, gay Kim Taeyeon. We never talked nor had any interaction toward each other. I don’t know how she’s doing recently and I’m trying hard not to care. No matter how rude her way in rejecting me, she’s still my best friend or you can add ex before the word of best if you want. Surprisingly, when I said I don’t know, I really mean it. I don’t know her relationship with Donghae, I don’t know with whom she spends her holidays, I don’t know what she’s doing in her free time. In short, I don’t know~ I treat Jessica as part of my history that I can never erase and that’s that. No matter how much I want to hate her like she hates me, I know I can’t. She’s the one who taught me love. With that, how can I hate her?

 

What about my side job as the writer in AFF? Well, I still do that too in my spare time, especially when I have no work at office or when I’m in my sober state when I want to stay normal instead of drunkard. The number of readers keeps increasing thankfully. I’m just happy that there are many people around the world who like my writing. Sometimes I wonder, can I ever get a friend as kind as Tiffany in that site? Who knows I can befriend them, right? But not more than that since they practically live thousands of miles away from me so even I want to have romantic relationship with one of them, I know the chance is tiny to meet her in live. I may be naïve and innocent, but I’m not stupid. Only Tiffany can call me stupid, or even stupider than donkey. Sigh now that I’m talking about her, I miss her. What is she doing now? I typed a message to her and send it.

 

I look at the clock on my table and it’s close to lunch time. I shut down my computer and leave my table, intending to have lunch. Not long after, my phone vibrates and it’s a message coming from the one whom I miss the most. She said, she’s still in campus, currently busy downloading the new movie featuring one of Girl’s Generation member. I let out a sigh before typing a message telling her to take care and not to forget to have lunch on time. I’m waiting for the elevator door to slide and step away. I smile sardonically knowing that there will be no Sunny any longer waiting for me in front of the elevator. I walk away, heading to the canteen.

 

I have my food on the tray with me and now I’m looking for a vacant spot where I can enjoy my lunch alone. I find one! A great place too since it’s near the window. I without any hesitation drag my body to the two-seated table and place my tray of food on the table. If you feel bad knowing I have to spend my lunch alone, then please stop feeling sad for me. It’s not like this every day though. Usually, I would spend my lunch together with Yoochun but since he is currently has an important meeting abroad so he can’t be here. If there’s no Yoochun, Sunny would offer herself to accompany me to lunch but she said her work was overload this past week so she always feed herself with wrapped unhealthy sandwich. She can’t leave her table even for a mere hour. Having experience in staying together with her for few months made me know how busy she could be so yeah, I understand it. That’s exactly why I sit by myself today. Na ah, don’t pity me. I’m alright. I’m chopping my steak when there’s a girl standing in front of me. How did I know? Easy, her shadow forbids the sun from penetrating the window.

 

“Excuse me, is this seat taken?” A familiar voice I heard; one I can’t forget of actually but I’m not sure. It’s been some time since the last time I talked with her. I looked up and there she is, standing so graciously right before my eyes. Wait! Did my eyes trick me?

 

Oh okay, it’s taken right? You must be waiting for your girlfriend so that’s why there’s no one sitting in front of you. I should have known. Sorry again.” She bowed and turned around. What the hell was that? Girlfriend? How did she know it? It’s not that she cares enough about my well-being, moreover my current relationship. And why am I talking to myself? Shouldn’t I stop her instead of doing monologue with myself? Besides, having an old friend to accompany me to lunch would be better than spending my lunch alone, right? Right.

 

“Wait!” I accidentally grabbed her arm and she flinched with my touch. What a great thing you did to start over, Kim Taeyeon. I let go of her arm and stood in front of her.

 

“It’s vacant. I mean, no one will sit there and I’m not waiting for anyone so feel free to join me to lunch.” Now that’s rude. What are you doing? Get off that smug of your face. Be more sincere! I scolded myself and slapped my face silently.

 

“Are you sure?” She I hesitating to put her tray of food on the table and yes, I can notice it alright.

 

“Never been so sure in my life.” I took a liberty to grab her tray and placed it on the table. Afterward, I went around and placed my on my previous seat. Okay, this would be awkward and I can guarantee that. What do I do? What should I say? Keep silent and just eat my food. Yes, I’m sure it’s the best option out there.

 

“Where is your girlfriend?” Jessica asked me. I stopped chopping my food and looked up. I knitted my eyebrows hearing her question. We are practically strangers now, aren’t we? I’m sure of that since she’s the one who asked me to leave her alone. I can’t even say hi as her office mate and now she’s asking me this?! What is she? A heartless woman?!

 

“You don’t have to answer the question if you don’t want to, you know. I’m fine with that.” Jessica added. That remark made me looked at her wonderingly. What does she have in mind actually? It’s been so long since we talked and now she’s acting like we’re still best friends for life. I really can’t understand her~

 

“Look, I’m sorry for what I’ve done to you okay? My reaction to your confession wasn’t the best one and yeah I realize it. I know I’ve been bad, worst perhaps since I’ve cut any relationship possible between us. I didn’t even want you as my colleague in work. I’m so sorry for my bad behavior, Taeng. Will you forgive me?” Her confession surprised me. My eyes automatically grew wide hearing those words of apology. I don’t know how to respond it. I don’t even know what I feel about Jessica now. I mean I’m more than sure that I don’t love her in that way anymore since literally my heart has been taken by another person, but this is too sudden for me.

 

“You can’t forgive me, can you? I understand. Well, I don’t have a plan to give up soon too anyway. I’ll try again and again until you can forgive me. I deserved this.” Jessica chuckled bitterly. It sounded painful though, her forced laugh I mean. Not long after, I can hear faint sobs. I look at her and find her crying. Her tears are streaming out from her eyes. No matter how she has been treating me harshly; I’m still a human too. Moreover, I’ve ever had a special feeling toward Jessica. I don’t have heart to see her crying because of me.

 

“Here, wipe away your tears first then we can talk afterward.” I took out the handkerchief from my bag and gave it to her. She took it and muttered a thank you word. I nodded at her statement.

 

“Sorry. It’s just too sudden for me. You know, we’ve been ignoring each other since forever and out of nowhere you simultaneously came here and asked about me and my girlfriend. It’s just surprising I guess.” I smiled at her and gestured her to continue eating her almost untouched food which is seafood salad as usual.

 

“And before I even have chance to answer that question, you again startled me with your apology. Eerrmm.. I was kind of lost out there, Jessi. So which one do you want me to answer first? The girlfriend thingy or your apology, eh?” I tried to melt the situation. It’s too tense to my liking and seeing her tears is the least thing I want to see. I hate seeing anyone crying because of me, even she made me much more miserable before but I hold no grudge against her. I saw her smiling even not fully, well at least that’s better than her expression previously.

 

“Ehhmm, whichever you want to answer first, Taeng.” Jessica forked her food unwillingly and brought it to the front of .

 

“Alright. I’ll answer your first question then. There’s no girlfriend, Jessi. I’m single and available and attractive and cute and funny and smart and-“

 

“Okay okay, that’s enough, Taeng. I get it already.” Jessica laughed more heartedly. It made me smile knowing I’ve succeed in making her more relax and comfortable around me.

 

“Why no girlfriend? I can remember clearly you often having lunch with her, what is her name again,, Sunny?? Just last week I caught you having lunch with her. Heck, you even always show off your intimacy in public. Yep! PDA! That’s what people call it, right?” Jessica tapped her chin with the fork cutely while looking to the ceiling, trying to remember the usual girl whom I was with.

 

“And now you’re mimicking my bad habit?” I pretended to gasp while she was eyeing me curiously.

 

“What habit?” Jessica leaned in and asked. If I’m still in love with her, maybe I’d have difficulty to control myself when she practically leaned in too closer like has urge to kiss me. Kiss you? Kim Taeyeon, back to earth now!!

 

“Stalking!” I leaned back to my seat; avoiding myself from her face; setting some gap between me and her. Fortunately there’s this rectangular table between our bodies or else. I’m happy she can be herself around me, you know clingy and all but erhmm.. Let’s just say, this is still kind of new for me.

 

“What? Stalking?! What d-do you mean? St-stalking who? I never st-stalk anyone.” Jessica answered nervously. Jessica stammered? One of the coldest girls in the world was just stammering?! Wow! Even I ever thought that Snow White was nothing compare to Jessica; her coldness I mean. Wait, does Snow White even a cold woman? But her name has Snow in it. if she’s not cold, then her name wouldn’t be Snow right? Aish whatever~

 

“AHA! Bullseye!! If you didn’t stalk me, then how did you know her name is Sunny and that we often showing PDA? Tricky Jessi but unfortunately you’re facing smartass Taeyeon right now.” I smiled in victory. It’s not every day I can win a debate versus Jessica. I think, chatting with Tiffany has sharpened my debate ability somehow. I need to tell her about this later. Tiffany again? Focus, Kim Taeyeon! The woman in front of you now is Jessica, not Tiffany! Aish, pabo Taeyeon!

 

“Who doesn’t know about you dating with Sunny, huh? The gossip spreads faster than fire, Taeng. That applies too with the PDA thingy. I’m sure that everyone who often eats in this canteen sees your PDA too. It’s not only me who notices it you know so wipe that smug away from your face, please.” Jessica reasoned out. She smirked like she had won this round. Oh, we’ll see about that, Jessica.

 

“Oh really? Then let me ask him. I often see him eating in this canteen. If he says as what you said, then maybe yes, it’s my fault for showing the PDA too much. Ah, if what you were saying is right, he should know about the girl whom I usually with, right? Sunny I mean.” I intended to stand up when a hand stopped me.

 

“Don’t!” Jessica practically yelled with her high pitch voice. It made me back to my seat again comfortably.

 

“Okay! I admit, I kind of asked around to gain information about you. It’s not because you’re too obvious in showing that. Satisfy now?” Jessica gritted her teeth, either because she’s angry or she simply being embarrassed. Both ways are fine with me though.

 

“Hahaha,, very. So why did you do that?” I grinned widely. I sipped my cappuccino ice and waited for her to speak.

 

“Why? Is it wrong to ask around about the latest news regarding your best friend’s love life?” Jessica shrugged her shoulder. Na ah, you’re going nowhere with that attitude, Jessica Jung. My beloved teacher has indirectly taught me how to control my emotion and how to react depend on kinds of situation I’m facing.

 

“It’s not wrong, but it’s weird. Why didn’t you ask your best friend directly rather than asking around. Not everything that you’ve heard is true anyway. The justification isn’t certain if you believe in wrong person.” I casually argued. Wuii, I’ve improved a lot thanks’ to Tiffany. I knew it when I saw Jessica’s shocking face. Ooh, I should have captured it. Sigh, too late to do that now, Taeyeon.

 

“Sigh. You want to make this as hard as possible, don’t you, Taeng?” I only smirked in satisfaction hearing her stating that.

 

“Fine, I’ll explain myself then. I’m just worried about you. I guess I still couldn’t believe that you’ve changed your preference so I seek my own information regarding the girl you were dating. I didn’t gain much, though. I only know her name is Sunny and that she works in the same building like us. It’s not that hard to get her name since she has good position in her department. You got a nice catch, Taeng.” Jessica gave me two thumbs up yet I could only smile insincerely at her.

 

“Why?” I tried to compose myself better. The pain Jessica ever inflected in me resurfaced again. The rejection, the decampment, the harsh words, the threatening treatment, everything mixed and came around again. I clutched the edge of table to help me to control my emotion.

 

“Why what?” I saw confusion on Jessica’s face. She must be wondering why I got this expression attached on my face.

 

“Why do you care? You clearly stated that you didn’t want to know anything about me anymore; that you only wanted me to stay away as far as possible from you. You didn’t even treat me as your work acquaintance.” I reminded her. Her expression softened after that. I saw the pleading eyes but it didn’t stop me from asking her this question. I have a right to know and I want to know.

 

“I.. I still care even after I said those you know. I still couldn’t and can’t treat you as stranger.” Jessica told me softly. She tried to seek my eyes but I avoided her gaze. I looked away but it still couldn’t prevent my tears from falling.

 

““I’m sorry, Taeng. I’m so sorry for what I’ve done to you. I was just afraid that you could affect me, my preference. I just wanted to be a normal girl who falls in love with a man. People said that gay is infectious so that’s why I avoided you, created a safe distance between us. But I regret it all now. It was the stupidest mistake I’ve ever done in my life and I need to fix my mistake if only you’ll let me. I hope I’m not too late for that. Will you forgive me, Taeng?” Jessica averted my face to make me look at her. She used the handkerchief I lent her to brush my tears away.

 

“Then why are you here now? You said that gay is infectious, so shouldn’t you distant yourself away from me? I’ve adapted with our situation anyway and I’ve learnt to accept it. It took a while for me but I’ve come to accept it that we can’t even be friends anymore. I’m following your request, Jessi. You want me to stay away from you? I can do that just fine.” I scoffed. I slapped her hand away from my chin.

 

“And I’ve told you I’m sorry, haven’t I? I shouldn’t have done that to you. You don’t deserve my rude attitude toward you. I’m sure you don’t want to be gay yourself but there’s nothing you can do about it, right? I should’ve been helping you instead of leaving you to bear the problems on your own. I’ve failed as your best friend, Taeng. I’m so sorry.” Jessica apologized again to me.

 

“Don’t worry, I can understand why you did that. Maybe I would do worse than you did. Running away and ignoring are much better than slapping me. It’s not easy to accept that your best friend who has the same gender as you have special feelings for you, in romantic way too. Thank you for not slapping me I guess.” I have calmed down and back to my normal state. Having so many problems makes me learn to adapt to stressful situation faster than normal people do.

 

“And you don’t really have to say sorry. I kind of understand your place now. Sorry for indirectly accusing you before. If you’re here just out of pity then please stop doing that. I’m fine by myself you know.” I put down my eating utensils and wiped my mouth with a clean napkin.

 

“You’re still the same Kim Taeyeon I’ve once known I guess.” Jessica shook her head.

 

“What do you mean?” I frowned.

 

“You still easily jump into a conclusion. Not everything that you assume is right, Taeng. Sometimes you should learn to ask the person yourself rather than concluding it on your own.” Jessica propped her chin on her palm and smiled at me.

 

“Like I’ve said, I’m here trying to fix our relationship, that if you forgive me. So before I continue my explanation, would you kindly accept my apology?” Jessica used her free hand to reach my hand on the table. She held it and waited for my reply.

 

“I never mad at you, Jessi. Disappointed yes, stress over you yes, but angry no. But to make it short, yes I forgive you.” I nodded and retrieved my hand gently.

 

“Thank you. You’re one of the best people I’ve ever known, Taeng. I’m glad I didn’t lose you.” Jessica stated and I could only smile.

 

Yes, I admit that I was surprised with the sudden confession. I never thought you could have those forbidden feelings for me so maybe that’s why I reacted badly to that. The days followed, I couldn’t sleep normally. I kept tossing and turning on my bed. Your words of confession echoed in my head and it was so disturbing because I didn’t know how to stop it.” Jessica said exasperatedly.

 

“I’m sorry.” I muttered and cut her explanation.

 

“Don’t be. I’m not done yet. All of that were too much for me. One side, I was busy with Donghae who tried to court me while on the other side, my mind kept thinking about you and your confession. Many questions attacked me on the same time; you know like since when you have loved me? Why do you love me? What will happen to our friendship? What do I feel after your confession? And such. Trust me, it made me stress a lot. It made me became a different person whom I didn’t even know exist within me before.” Jessica continued. I didn’t utter a word and let her finish first.

 

“You ever said that Donghae is a jerk right? Well you are right~ He cheated on me not long after we’re being official. You’re right too when you said he only wanted to get into my pants. His emotion was getting unstable whenever I rejected his invitation to his apartment or when I rejected him to come into my apartment. His rage was getting worse each day until one day he became a totally different person. It’s like he didn’t care anymore whether I would reject his offer or not. It turned out that he cheated on me. I saw him gropping a girl in a club when I was there with my friends. He asked for a second chance but I rejected it immediately.” Jessica let out a heavy sigh.

 

I’m sorry to hear that.” I patted her hand and told her sincerely.

 

“It’s okay. What’s weird is the fact that it didn’t bother me that much. I was said and drowned in my own misery but not for long. A week was all I need to completely get rid of him from my mind. Maybe I never really loved him.” Jessica ended her story.

 

“Breaking up with him made me able to think more clearly. Honestly, he has affected me so much regarding my treatment toward you. He disliked you that much so he was so happy when he knew I wanted to avoid you. I’m sorry, I told him about your confession to me. I knew it’s unprofessional but I didn’t have anyone I could run to at that time.” Jessica looked me in the eyes, searching for anger or wrath reflected from my eyes but I’m sure she found none.

 

“That’s fine. I understand your situation.” I nodded once.

 

“So does it mean that we can be friends again, Taeng?” Jessica hesitantly stretched out her hand and it made me chuckle.

 

“Are you sure you just want to be friend with me? Not best friend?” I held my hand in front of her hand but hadn’t shaken it just yet.

 

“I want us to be back to being best friends again but I know my place, Taeng. I’ve hurt you too much. I’ve caused you so much pain and I’m planning to make you learn to trust me again. I have faith that time can heal everything, including the wound that I’ve inflicted to you.” Jessica heaved a sigh. She looked so sad while saying that. I can find a hint of regret within her eyes.

 

“You’re right. Let’s start by being friends for now and see where it can lead us into.” I shook her hand firmly.

 

“I’m happy.” Jessica suddenly broke off the silence.

 

“And why is that?” I eyed her suspiciously.

 

“I have you back, I have been freed from that jerk, I’m being single and so are you. It’s like old time, isn’t it? Except the fact that we’re now mere friends instead of best friends.” Jessica exhaled deeply.

 

“Hey, don’t say that. In no time, I’m sure we can go back to what we were. You said time could heal everything, right? Then time is all I need. Give me some time?” I nudged her and squeezed her hand a bit.

 

“I can give you as much time as you need to, Taeng. By the way, I’ve finished my story. Now it’s your turn to tell yours. Why did you break up with her?” I smiled contently before starting to tell my sad love story to Jessica.

 

“She did what?!!” Jessica almost choked by her own saliva.

 

“Hahaha.. Calm down, Jessi. There are many people who are still eating. You don’t want half of them go to hospital because of your loud voice, do you?” I giggled. She cleared and mumbled sorry word.

 

“I couldn’t believe it. She’s stupid for doing that to you. Don’t worry, Taeng, it’s her lost not yours. She just lost the best lover she could ever have. I’m sure a better lover for you is still out there somewhere, waiting for the right moment to meet you.” Jessica assured me confidently.

 

“Are you sure, you are Jessica? Because you don’t sound like you are her. Give me back the real Jessica, please?” I . I didn’t want to remember my memories with Sunny, knowing that it would only make me feel bad and dejected.

 

“Yah! I’m trying to be care here!!” Jessica again forgot the ability of her voice and I grimaced hearing her dolphin voice.

 

“Shusshh.. Lower down your voice, Jessi. I don’t want to be kicked out just because of you.” I threatened her playfully. I’m relieved that somehow I don’t feel awkward around her anymore and so does she around me. It’s like we never even fought in the first place.

 

“Ooops.. Sorry. How come you still feel comfortable around her?! Just last week I saw you still eating with her happily. Are you a masochist, Taeng?! Stop hurting yourself, will you?” Jessica scolded me with care and I’m grateful for that.

 

“I’m not hurting myself, Jessi. I have my closure and so has she. What she needs now is time and that’s the least thing I can give to her. I have move on from her, but what about her? She still can’t. She admitted that she still has special feelings for me last week. It’s indelicate or even rude if I leave her alone. She still can’t adapt to our current relationship which is nothing but friends.” I tried to explain the reason behind my relationship with Sunny.

 

“Are you stupid? It’s not your fault if she can’t move on from you. Maybe it’s called karma for treating you that way! She’s the one who’s rude, mean, heartless, anything you may call her for making you the third wheel in her and her fiancé relationship. She played with you, Taeng! How could you still treat her nicely, huh?! Now I’m certain that you’re indeed a masochist.” Jessica annoyingly told me. She huffed and rubbed her own chest, probably because she couldn’t hold back her emotion or maybe she felt stressed trying to knock some sense into my brainless head.

 

“Hhahaha..” I laughed and she wrinkled her eyebrows.

 

“Why are you laughing? I’m trying to be serious here, Taeng.” Jessica scoffed.

 

“It’s because you are funny. Didn’t you hear me clearly? I’ve moved on, Jessi. So it doesn’t hurt me to be at the same room with her. I’m alright now, but she’s not. No matter how she has used me or maybe toyed with me, she was the one who gave me shelter when I needed a place to protect myself from rain and cold. She’s the one whom I could talk to when I needed a person to share my problem. She’s actually a very nice person you know. Don’t misjudge her like that. Besides, partly it’s my fault too. I never asked her availability before making myself her secret lover.” I told her.

 

“I’m sorry for not being there when you needed me the most.” Jessica bit her lower lips mumbled faintly yet enough for me to hear it.

 

“It’s alright. We’ve reconciled, right? That’s what matter the most now.” I ruffled her hair and smiled; a habit that couldn’t be vanished from me up until now.

 

“Thank you, Taeng.”

 

“You’re most welcome. Thank you too for taking chances to approach me bravely.”

 

Don’t mention that. It was my fault in the first place so it’s my job to ask for apology. I’m grateful that you haven’t changed at all, in spite the fact that we’ve separated for few months. But are you sure, you’re okay with Sunny still being around you?” Jessica asked for affirmation.

 

“Yep! It’s fine. I’m sure. I just hope she can stop kissing me around.” I let out a chuckle.

 

“She did what!? It’s fixed then!!” Jessica grabbed the table tightly and her gaze flared.

 

“Eh?” I asked confusedly.

 

“From now on, I will stay around you. I will join your breakfast, lunch, dinner, and any kind of activity that involves Sunny. I will not let her use you again! I will prevent her from kissing you!! I will even walk in between your and Sunny’s body. I will be your loyal bodyguard!” Jessica puffed her chest proudly and patted it several times.

 

“Excuse me? I can protect myself, Jessi. You don’t have to do that.” I was streaked by her statements. Why does she sound like a possessive girlfriend? Is it possible that…. No no, that can’t be happened. Wake up, Taeyeon! Don’t fall into the same trap twice! You’re not a donkey! Don’t let Tiffany have right to call you a stupider well-being than a donkey. Just be friends with Jessica, best friends at top, but nothing more. I don’t want to be hurt again, not with the same person at least.

 

“But I want to.” Jessica insisted. What I’ve known from her is that whenever she is stubborn about something that she wants, she will keep trying until she gets it.

 

“Sigh. I can’t change your mind, can I?” I dejectedly said and I saw her smiling.

 

“You know me well, Taeng.” Jessica winked at me.

 

“Suit yourself then.” With that, our long conversation ended. We are friends close to best friends since this afternoon.

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I took off my jacket and hang it on the hook behind the door. I took off my shoes and put it neatly on the shoes rack. The room is dark so I have to roam around my hand, trying to detect where the light switch is. I found it and clicked it on. It’s much better now. The apartment is cold and quiet as usual but I have adapted with that. There won’t be Jinwoon or Jiwoong anymore to open the door for me, there will be no kisses from my mother which used to greet me home, and definitely there won’t be any lecture I will receive from my father any longer. It’s sad, I know but there’s nothing I can do to change the fact. That’s one of the reasons why I prefer to spend my time outside instead of being inside the apartment. The pains will be bearable and the memories won’t attack me as fast as when I am inside the apartment.

 

I found my way to my favorite place whenever I’m reminded of my family or the sad love story I’ve experienced. Yeah, it’s of course the alcohol rack. I looked through the transparent glass and huffed in disappointment. I forgot to buy some cheap alcohols the last time I went to market. Fortunately, there are still 3 bottles remained. I guess, 3 bottles are more than enough to make me drunk, no? I shrugged and left the spot, intending to get change first before doing anything.

 

I feel much more refreshed after taking a long shower. I dry my towel while bringing myself to the kitchen. I skipped dinner so I’m hungry by now. I open the fridge and try to find something simple to be eaten. Chips? Naah, I won’t feel full with that. Fast food? Naah, I don’t have mood to eat that. I let out a sigh and close the fridge back. I take an instant ramen inside the cabinet and decide to just eat it as my dinner menu. It’s pathetic, considering my position and my salary I can earn each month right now. College life has passed yet here I am still trying to stuff the ramen to make my stomach feel full. Whatever, as long as I’m full so it’s safe to drink alcohol. As much as I am careless with my health, I won’t go as far as suicide myself by drinking alcohols recklessly. I have to at least eat beforehand. Trying to be healthy despite my bad habit in drinking? Hahaha.. Way to go, Taeyeon. I laughed bitterly.

 

I have finished the not so luxurious food yet edible enough and threw away the encasement to the trash bin. I gulped mineral water and walked around, heading to bedroom to get my cell phone, in case Tiffany contacted me. Wuii! It looks like my prayer has been answered. I got a message from her! I quickly tapped the message icon and read the message.

 

From: Tiffany

To: Taeyeon

“Author, are you home already?”

 

I smiled reading her short yet meaningful message. Why is meaningful you asked? Exaggerating? Whatever! You can’t blame a girl in love to exaggerate a bit, can you? Moreover when it’s related with the person you love. Hehehe.. I know I know, I just experienced sad love story but if I keep wallowing, how can I move on? I want to be happy too, you know and somehow somewhere, my heart says that I can find my happiness in Tiffany. I’m hoping that my heart won’t betray me because I’m planning to follow what my heart wants. Screw my brain. I know Tiffany is a good girl and even she will reject me, I’m sure she won’t do it as rude as Jessica or worse, toying with me like what Sunny did to me. . I don't wanna waste another second and press the reply button.

 

From: Taeyeon

To: Tiffany

"Just finished bathing, Fany-ah. Why? Do you miss me that much? Kekeke.."

 

Not long after, I received a reply from her.

 

From: Tiffany

To: Taeyeon

"Not even in your dream, Author. You're free to keep dreaming though. Hehehehe.. I just wanna say sorry for being unable to reply some of your messages this afternoon. I was busy and my supervisor didn't let me out of his sight. Are you busy now?"

 

I'm close to being busy actually. My loyal friends have been waiting for me to gulp them and enjoy them. Yep! They are no one but Mr. Vodka, Mr. JackD, and Mr. Wine. What should I answer then? Aah.. Of course Tiffany comes first. I didn't hesitate to type the message to reply her.

 

From: Taeyeon

To: Tiffany

"Really?? That's great then! Do you want to chat with me? I mean, who knows you have something to share, right? Because I've finished my task. But if you don't want to then I'll just go to sleep directly."

 

I don't have to think twice and quickly run to my room to switch my computer on. We chatted all night long, talking about everything to nothing; her day, my day, Jessica, her task in campus, etc etc. Just before we ended the chat, I braced myself to ask the question.

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Fany, ah.. I have a question to ask.”

 

Scarlethwang: “Shoot.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “When will you be available to meet me? I want to see you for real.”

 

Scarlethwang: “Why are you so eager to meet me?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Why are you so eager not to meet me?”

 

Scarlethwang: “Hmm.. You've upgraded to Pentium IV I see,, but still not smart enough to win against me. I'm busy, author. I can barely have time to myself, moreover for you. Talk to my manager first, ask her when I'm free so we can set the time to meet up.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “What are you? An artist? -_____-"

 

Scarlethwang: “You're lucky I haven't become one or I'm sure you can't even chat with me like this casually. I'm not an artist yet I don't have time to meet you, what do you think if I'm an artist for real? Hahaha..”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Fany-aaah..”

 

Scarlethwang: “What? Aish.. I'm serious, author. We can be there for each other even we can't meet for real. What more do you need, huh?"

 

Kim Taeyeon: “But we've known each other for long! It's been over 5 months yet we never met! Put yourself in my shoes, don't you want to meet your reader? A person who's always there for you in your ups and downs? Don't you, Fany?”

 

Scarlethwang: “For starter, how many times I've told you that I don't want to be in your shoes. It's stinky and full of germs.. Hiiii! Secondly, I'm happy with what we are. Are you not happy, author?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “I wash my shoes at least once in a month, Tiffany -.- I'm happy but my curiosity kills me! I will be much happier if we can be friends for real, Fany, not just imaginary friends or friends in social media world. I want us to be more than that.”

 

Scarlethwang: “I'm sorry I can't give what you want, author. My son is sick and my husband loves to gamble and drink. He always beats me up whenever he loses his game. Our family has a huge debt too to Yakuza. I can't do anything. Our love is forbidden, too. I don't want to be a sinner. I can't leave my family alone no matter how much I want to meet you. I'm so sorry, author.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “What?! You have a son already?? A husband?! Are you kidding me, Fany?! But you said that you're single and available!!”

 

Scarlethwang: “Huahahaha... It's a conversation from drama, author! Do you actually believe what I said??? Hahahha.. I take back what I've said. You're still Pentium II afterall. PS: I'm single and available but for you I'm unavailable :P”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “YAHHHH!!! You tricked me!! It’s not me who’s being stupid but it’s you who don’t know the right time to joke around. Hmmph!!”

 

Scarlethwang: “Tsk! Advocacy~ Well, whatever. So do you really want to meet me? Like reaaly reaaly?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Yes!!! Like really really want to meet you!!”

 

Scarlethwang: “But what if I’m like really really don’t want to meet you?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “T.T”

 

Scarlethwang: “Ara ara… But can you promise me some things beforehand?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Eh, why do you sound so serious? What’s wrong? As long as I can do it, I promise I will do it.”

 

Scarlethwang: “Please don’t bring camera, video recorder, or any devices that can capture or record. I don’t want my face, ehem I mean my flawless face to be published carelessly. This face of mine is not public consumption and I tend to stick with that rule. Can you do that, author?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “-________________________-“

 

Scarlethwang: “You can’t? Then it’s obvious that we can never meet. Goodbye author~ Adios Amigo~”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Sigh, remind me again why you can be my favorite reader amongst the others?”

 

Scarlethwang: “Easy! I’m beautiful inside and out, I’m attractive, I’m a kind person, I’m smart, even smarter than you, in short, I’m every guys and girls want. Even my parents up until now still feel proud to have me as their daughter. If that’s not enough, I can mention numerous things to show how you should be proud to have me as your loyal reader slash best friend.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Sigh,,, That’s enough, thank you. So, will you meet me?”

 

Scarlethwang: “Stop sighing, author. It’s tiring to mop your nose poop from the floor, you know~”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “YAAAAHHH!!! I don’t have nose poop!!! I always clean up my nose everytime I take a bath which means at the very least, 2 times a day! Haisshh!! Why is it so hard to have normal conversation with you? T.T”

 

Scarlethwang: “And now I have to mop your saliva too from the floor. Can’t you just stop sighing and yelling? Your saliva and nose poop mixed into one and I have to use floor cleaners to brush it away. What do you take me for? Your maid? Geezzz, I’m too y and hot to be your maid, author~”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “That’s it, Tiffany. I think I can have a heart attack or if I continue chatting like this with you. Poor me for my lifespan won’t be long thanks’ to you~”

 

Scarlethwang: “Don’t forget to make a testament and please insert my name as the one who can own the money in your bank account but I won’t say no if you want add your blue scooter too. Hehehhee..”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Oh lord~”

 

Scarlethwang: “Huahahahha!!! Okay okay, I’ll stop now. My stomach is hurt anyway. You have to be responsible for it, author! Buy me a medicine!!! Kekekee~”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “And now you blame me? -.-“

 

Scarlethwang: “Sorry sorry~ Let’s go back to the topic then. So how is it? Do you or do you not agree with the condition?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Are you serious?? I’m forbidden to bring all that? Geezz!! Why should I bring camera with me too, anyway? Fany-ah, wipe that smug off of your face, please~”

 

Scarlethwang: “Kekeke.. Of course I’m just joking author. I have time tomorrow evening, at 7 pm maybe. Can you make it?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Wait! Did you just agree to meet me?? Did you??? For real???”

 

Scarlethwang: “Okay, cancel it. Pretend that I didn’t say anything~”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “NOO~!! Okay okay, I have time tomorrow evening. At 7 pm right? Where do you want to meet up? Can I give a suggestion regarding the place?”

 

Scarlethwang: “Sure. Try to persuade me, if your description of the place is good enough then I will say yes.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “I know a café downtown which located near the Han river. The night view there is amazing! You can see the city light from above and I need to tell you that this café is on the highest floor of a company building. It’s cozy and comfortable. They also provide the customers with melodious song, usually its genre is jazz but every Friday, they will have live music. They have both options; you can choose either lounge or restaurant. Is it appealing enough for you, Mrs. Hwang?”

 

Scarlethwang: “How much will it cost to have a dinner there? Based on your story, it looks like I’d need to spend every penny that I’ve earned from my project job. Tsk! A big no no, author.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Now worries, Fany. I can have discount there since my company has great business relationship with the owner of the café. I personally know the manager there too. I assure you it will be cheap.”

 

Scarlethwang: “I need you to promise me another thing.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “And that would be?”

 

Scarlethwang: “No matter how my eyes would turn green whenever I see something sparkling or how I love expensive things, I beg you not to bring a diamond ring. Please don’t propose me, author. I’m not ready~”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “-_______________________-“

 

Scarlethwang: “Hahahaha… It’s because you describe it like that café is one of the most romantic place in Soul. It’s never wrong to be suspicious, you know. Who knows you got bad intention under your sleeve. Ah! I have to bring my pepper spray in case you want to kidnap me, or worse! You don’t have plan to pour anesthetic powder into my food, right?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Yah! I’m not a criminal! And why should I do that to you?? I don’t even have any reason to do it! And how can I kidnap you using scooter??? It will be too much of a hassle for me.”

 

Scarlethwang: “Kekekeke.. I’m just saying, author. Relax~ Your blood pressure will be high if you easily angry like that.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Fiuh~ Okay. So what is your answer?”

 

Scarlethwang: “Make sure you bring your credit card tomorrow, okay? I will say yes to your offer. Tomorrow at that café at 7 pm, yes? Send me the address please.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Nice!! And don’t even think to rob me using my credit card! I won’t let it happen, Hwang!! I will send you the address later, but in case you can’t find it, we can meet up somewhere, in a bus station maybe? You just need to bring a helmet of I can even lend me yours if you want.”

 

Scarlethwang: “I can find it on my own, I’m sure. I will wear red dress in case I arrive first. How about you? What will you wear?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Uhmm.. I think I will go there right from my office so probably I will use office attire, dark blue blazer with black pants and white shirt underneath the blazer. You’re not colorblind, are you? Hehehe..”

 

Scarlethwang: “It’s should be me who ask you that question. I deliberately will use red dress so you can detect me clearly in case you have colorblind aliment. Hehehe.. Okay then, I’ll see you tomorrow~ I have to go to sleep early, author. I’m sorry but I have to wake up early tomorrow. My supervisor asked me to meet him tomorrow morning.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Alright. I’ll send you the address right after this. Goodnight, Fany-ah. Have a nice dream.”

 

Scarlethwang: “One more thing, author.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Yes?”

 

Scarlethwang: “Don’t even think to succumb yourself in alcohol, okay? Promise me that.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Wha- how could you- but I never told you about this. I’m sure of that.”

 

Scarlethwang: “Intuition? Hehehe.. I have my eyes on you, author. Please don’t do something that can damage you, either your brain or your body. Alcohol can’t help you clear your mind nor can it help you to face your problem. You better talk it out to me; I will try to give you enlightment like what I always did. That if you allow me, of course.”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “What things that you don’t know about me, Fany-ah? I promise I’ll stop drinking eventually. Give me some time, okay? I practically have no one now. It’s not easy to adapt with that. I swear, I’ve tried but well.. I don’t know. I don’t even know who to trust now.”

 

Scarlethwang: “Take your time, author. Hey, what do you mean by that? You still have me. Always there, remember? Even when we fought, I never once discarded you for real from my life. You can trust me, can’t you?”

 

Kim Taeyeon: “Of course I trust you. Thank you for always there for me, Fany-ah. In spite my dark world and bad luck; at least I still have you who can guide me patiently to the right path. That’s why I’m so happy to know that you finally agreed to meet me. I can’t wait for tomorrow! ^^”

 

Scarlethwang: “I’m glad to have you too, author. Cheer up okay? We’ll meet tomorrow! Gotta go now~ Goodnight!!”

 

She logged out immediately after that. I smiled and scrolled up to see the chat history. I can’t believe she finally wants to meet me. I will still wear this smile when I wake up, when I go to work, when I have to work, up until I can meet her for real! I can’t imagine how beautiful she can be wearing that red dress. She’s beautiful enough even from the picture alone. Now that I have a chance to meet her, I bet she will be much more beautiful. Fany-ah, wait for me tomorrow!! Kekekeke.. Everything is great today! From Jessica who approached me and reconciled our relationship to Tiffany who agreed to meet me! Thank you Lord!! Now I want to sleep so I can meet Tiffany in dream before meeting her lively tomorrow~ Goodnight everyone!!!

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Someone asked me, "Author, this is Taeny story yet they haven't met but you already want to end the story. It's not fair, isn't it?"

It made me wondering and yes, she's right. It's not fair so I will extend the story a bit and make them meet in the next chapter. Will it be okay for you if I add some chapters before make it end?

You can't wait for the next chapter to be available, can't you? You're curious how their meeting end up, will it be comical or.....? Kekeke.. Be patient and wait until I update the next one, okay? ^^

Tell me what you think of this chapter~ Is it good enough, no? So, how do you think the story will end? Will it be happy, sad, standard? Well, feel free to guess then~ Hehehhe..

Don't forget to give me comments~~~

I'll see you in the next chapter and I really hope you won't feel bored with this story. Give me some time to create the ending, okay? Thank you and I love you :*