I ran frantically around the empty hall, asking the girl in charge behind the stuffy desk, asking whether the name of the patient inside the number I mentioned is true or not. Unfortunately, she nodded her head twice and with one of her arms, she pointed the direction where I can find the room I’ve been seeking for. I didn’t forget to utter thank you words before walking briskly to the room appointed. I took a deep breath and braced myself before opening the door where I would meet the person I love the most.

 

“Taeyeon-ah!!” Heechul, Tiffany’s older brother immediately ran to me and grabbed my right arm to bring me closer to the bed where Tiffany is at.

 

“Oppa~ What happened to her?!” I asked in panic.

 

The blood in me pumped in rapid speed since I’m so panic and worried seeing my favorite reader not to mention the girl whom I love very much lay helplessly on bed with oxygen hose attached on her face to help her breathing. I don’t know what caused her to be in this horrible state but all I know, she’s not fine and judging by the tools around her; her condition is bad like really bad.

 

“I don’t know, Tae. I found her already fainted when I visited her place yesterday night. I carried her and rushed here. Doctor has done some checks on her to know about her detail condition but the result hasn’t come out.” Heechul informed me with tears wetting his face.

 

“I-is she okay? Has she woken up while being here?” I asked with full concern. There go away my anger and wrath for her. I can never hate her. Is this what she meant by she never knew when her tomorrow would never come? Is this the time? No. Please not now, God.

 

“I-I seriously don’t know, Tae. Doctor said if I was late carrying her here then there’s big possibility that it would be too late to-“ Heechul couldn’t finish his words but I already knew what he meant by that. In reflex, I came closer and hugged him.

 

“Shusshh.. The most important thing is that you’re not late and that she still can be saved thanks’ to you.” I rubbed his back and he sobbed on my shoulder. He clutched my shirt and I could hear him mumbling incoherent words. All I could hear was sorry and be okay please.

 

“Have you eaten yet?” I let go and offered him tissue.

 

I’m so sad seeing Tiffany’s pale face. She looks so helpless and powerless; totally different from Tiffany I saw the last time I met her. She was so energetic and happy in spite the argument we did at the end. However, I was so careless to ignore her after that day. I should have acted more mature and be more understanding toward her. I should have believed in each word she told me and didn’t act childishly like then. Sighed. Regrets always come late anyway. What’s the use now that she’s already in this state.

 

“No. I’m not hungry, Tae. Thank you for asking anyway.” Heechul replied shortly. He turned around his head and I followed his gesture. He looked at Tiffany and from his soft gaze, I can see how he loves Tiffany so much. I also notice regret and pain in his eyes. Perhaps, what he feels are the same with what I feel now.

 

“Let’s eat then. You need food to refill your energy so you can wait for her and take care of her when she wakes up later.” I tried to persuade him.

 

“I’m not hungry yet, Tae.” He refused almost inaudibly.

 

“But you need to eat. What would Tiffany say if she seeing you suffer and lack of protein and vitamin just because you’re busy waiting for her. She would be mad and feeling sad and guilty, right? If you don’t want to do it for yourself then at least do it for her.” I tried again and it seems work this time because he nodded his head.

 

“Okay. But we won’t eat for long, okay? I don’t want to leave her and let her be alone in this room.” He exclaimed and I smiled while nodding my head. We walked toward the door and I didn’t forget to take a quick glance at Tiffany before leaving the room.

-------------------------------------

 

“So does she have any illness or disease history before? Have you known what she had suffered from? I mean, did she ever have serious sickness when she’s still a child?” I asked while munching my sandwich.

 

“As far as I remember, she has no serious sickness. She was a very healthy girl when she’s still kid. She wouldn’t even cry when she fell from the sofa when she was still 2. She didn’t cry when she was bullied by a group of naughty boys when she’s still in elementary school. She was always happy and optimist. That’s why I was so startled to find her fainted in her place yesterday. I was panic and was paralyzed for a moment, didn’t know what to do.” Heechul eyes wandered to the corner of the room, reminiscing of the night when he found Tiffany.

 

“I see. So what might cause her until she’s in this state? Is it even possible to be like this when you’re too tired with campus activities? I know recently, she often spent her time in campus laboratory but I never knew the impact would be this bad.” I commented.

 

“I don’t know, Tae. I really don’t know. I feel like a bad brother. I should have known and able to read her body language. I should have noticed if she felt sick and unhealthy. I should have come sooner before she fainted. It’s all because of me, Tae. I have failed to be a good brother for her.” Tears seeped out from his eyes and I scooted closer to him to pat his shoulder in understanding. I know how he feels right now and I would feel the same if I was in his place.

 

“Has she ever talked to you about her duty or something?” I hinted him. Who knows he got what I meant and can explain about Tiffany’s background and her real duty from God to be sent here? Since he is the closest person she can find, I’m sure he knows much more than me.

 

“Her duty? Errr.. university graduation you meant? I don’t really know the meaning of your question.” His eyes spoke the truth and I could sense he didn’t lie. I silently sighed, knowing that I couldn’t retrieve the answer from him.

 

“Nothing. Just ignore it.” I quitted trying to dig deeper. I won’t get anything in return anyway.

 

“Oh okay.” Heechul responded and quietly continue eating his food lazily. He looked like he doesn’t have any appetite to eat yet knowing how he needs to stay healthy in order to be able to stay beside his sister forced him to eat. I’m sorry, Oppa but you really need to eat because your sister needs you.

 

“Oppa, you look so lousy and improper. You can just go home after this. I will take care of Tiffany for you.” I said without thinking that I need to do my presentation tomorrow. I haven’t made my presentation slides; I haven’t prepared myself and read my paper project for tomorrow. In short, I knew, I’ll do suicide if I decide to accompany Tiffany instead of preparing for tomorrow but I need to set priority and Tiffany is my top priority.

 

“What do you mean? No. I won’t go home until she wakes up. I need to stay here and be the first person when she opens up her eyes. I will not go anywhere, Taeyeon.” Heechul put down his eating utensils and set the almost half empty plate aside. He wiped his mouth and chin with the tissue and told me the words firmly.

 

“I promise I will inform you once she wakes up. Your sister being sick is enough, Oppa. I don’t want you to get sick too. You haven’t slept since yesterday night, right? The circles under your eyes say it all. You better go home, take a proper rest, clean up yourself and go back here tomorrow morning.” I tried to persuade him.

 

“But-“

 

“Rest assure for I will never let Tiffany go out of my sight for more than 15 minutes. Well in case I need to poop, it will be usually 5 to 10 minutes.” I joked and he smiled even though his smile still couldn’t reach his ears.

 

“Are you sure it’s okay? You have work tomorrow, don’t you?” Heechul asked again.

 

“Yeah I do so I expect you to come back here before 6 am. Do you think you can do that, Oppa?” I asked him back and he nodded.

 

“Sure. I’ll be here before 5.” He stood up followed by me.

 

“Thank you very much, Taeyeon-ah. I’ll bring you breakfast tomorrow and make sure you will always give me updates regarding Tiffany’s condition.” We’re standing in front of Tiffany’s room and he squeezed my shoulder a bit.

 

“No worries. I’ll have my breakfast on my own but thank you for the offer.” I kindly smiled and he replied my smile before walking away, leaving me with Tiffany only.

--------------------------------------

 

I opened the door and slowly stepped in. The closer I am with her, the slower my step is. I still can’t believe up until now that the girl whom I long for is there, laying helplessly on the bed for sick people. I sighed and dragged the nearby chair and placed it beside her bed. I sat on it and reached out my arm to fix her fringe and tuck it behind her ear. She looked so pale with her dried lips and her skin is too white that it scares me yet it those traits aren’t enough to fade her beauty away. She’s still amazingly beautiful in spite of everything. I took her hand and held it, intertwined her fingers with mine. I played with her fingers while my mind was wandering everywhere. It’s so scattered, thinking of her, what would happen to her, the possibility of her to survive, the things caused her to be in this state, and such. Without me knowing, the next second, my tears already dampened my face.

 

“What happened to you, Fany-ah?” I started to talk to the unconscious person in front of me.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me what really happened with you beforehand? You’ve had premonition about this, haven’t you? You already knew that one day you’d be end in this state of critical, right?” I continued with tears streaming out from my eyes freely.

 

“Don’t you love your brother? Don’t you love you parents? Don’t you love me even only as a friend? If you do or at least did, then why didn’t you inform us? Why you have to make us worried and feel uncertain of your current condition? Why?” My voice is getting weakened since I knew she would never be able to answer my questions, at least not now.

 

“Aren’t we important people in your life, Fany?” I bit my lips hard to prevent myself from sobbing and sniffing.

 

“God, why did you have to plan cruel fate to her? She’s such a very adorable woman. She never prioritized herself before You and people whom she loves. She’s so selfless and she always does your commandment and avoids your interdiction, so why? Why, God? Why her? Why not me?” I duck my head and continued crying on her bed sheet. I just couldn’t accept the fact, moreover with the fact that I don’t understand what’s really happening here.

 

“If you want to punish a person, then you should punish me, God because I’m a big sinner here, not her. She’s a holy lamb while I’m nothing but a sinner who defies my God and families. I’m far from good, God. I even cannot accept the fact that I was born as a woman since I always fall in love with a woman instead of man. What good things I’ve ever done, God? Close to nothing, right?” I said pathetically. All of these words reminded me of my painful past. I shut my eyes tightly, letting more tears out from my already swollen eyes.

 

“I betray my religion. I betray my parents just to be someone who was out of my reach. At the end, she still can’t be mine. I then divert my feeling to a girl named Sunny. I thought she would be my last shelter, the place where I could finally devote my life to yet I found out that she already has a fiancé. Now I fall in love with this girl in front of me and again I have to accept the fact that she’s in a bad state. I haven’t known the reason why though. Do you hate me that much, God? If so, then please hate me all you want but please don’t take her away from her families. She has everything I don’t have and I don’t want her to end up worse than me.” I fell down on my knee and attached my forehead on the floor, vent out all of my hidden feelings.

 

“I’m not the only one who love her, God. Her families love her too. Her friends love her. But if You forbid me that much to love her and threaten You’ll take her if I continue loving her then I’m willing to sacrifice myself and stop loving her. Just please.. Please bring her back to her loved ones. I realize I don’t deserve her, your perfect creature named Tiffany. I’m just a sinner and I forgot my place. I admit it, God.” I bang my hand to the cold floor weakly.

 

 I was about to continue talking to no one when I heard my phone rang. I looked at the home screen and it showed that Jessica was the caller. I touched the screen and slide it to the right to pick up the call. I didn’t forget to clear up my throat before greeting her. She asked me where I was because she had come to my house just to find it empty. I told here where I am and she said she would be here soon and bring my laptop so I could prepare my slides and presentation for tomorrow. I didn’t forget to utter thank you words and she ended the call. I put my phone on the small table beside Tiffany’s bed and back to my seat.

 

“That was Jessica.” I pretended that Tiffany was able to hear me. Well since she’s capable to foresee her destiny, I’m sure even though her body is subconscious, her heart will still able to see and hear me. You’re here, right Fany? I chuckled to my own silliness.

 

“Have I told you that lately Jessica is surprisingly so nice to me? I haven’t, have I?” I took her hand and rubbed my thumb over her back of hand.

 

“I guess I was too busy confessing my feelings to you and show you that I meant every word I said that I forgot to tell the latest update about Jessica.” I started to tell her the story about Jessica and I.

 

“Where should I start, hmm? Okay.. She’s always around me and can barely let me off of her sight. It’s kind of weird, right? Knowing how she used to despise me so much after the confession I made months ago. And she’s broken up with Donghae too. I didn’t want to tell you the reason why because it would make this story an endless one and I don’t want to make you feel bored.” I grabbed the glass filled with water and gulped it.

 

“She’s so thoughtful and caring too. She often visits me to help me with my works. Ah! I haven’t told you that I got promoted, right? I tell you now~ I’m a supervisor now and it means more work, work, and work! I even have to sacrifice my holiday to do my job! Can you imagine that?!” I said exaggeratingly.

 

“Her behavior towards me is so suspicious. She’s jealous of Sunny without any clear reasons! I ever asked her why yet she changed the topic. Don’t you think it’s bizarre? I even ever thought that she has feelings for me which is impossible, right?” I laughed a bit, but surely not wholeheartedly. I mean, how can I when only sadness fills my heart thanks’ to you, Tiffany.

 

“But even if she does, what can I do when the one I love is you? I don’t have anything to give To Jessica now. My heart is taken by you, wholly. What should I do now? You have to be responsible for my heart, Fany-ah. Even if you want to give my heart back to me, you need to be conscious to do it.” I don’t know why I suddenly go back to this topic again, knowing it would only make my mood worse.

 

“It means you have to wake up so you can give back my heart. I will even allow you to throw it right to my face instead of give it back nicely. Just, wake up please. I miss your voice. I miss hearing your ridicule and mockery words. I miss you, Fany-ah. I need you. Your families need you too. Wake up, please?” I braced myself and took the liberty to get up, bent my body and placed a kiss on your forehead.

 

“I love you. I truly do.” I rubbed the area where I just kissed her. If she was awake, I’m sure I already got my face hit or thrown by vase or something bigger. I sighed and smiled sadly. How I wish you to wake up soon, Fany. I was about to say another thing when I heard the door cracked open and it was no one but Jessica.

--------------------------------------------

 

“Hey..” She greeted me before closing the door behind her.

 

“Hi, Jessi. Come here.” I told her and she nodded her head. She put down her belongings on the bigger couch in front of TV. She then dragged the same chair as mine and set it beside me.

 

“It’s Tiffany. Tiffany, this is Jessica, the person I told you about before. She’s beautiful, isn’t she? So you’re no longer curious why I ever fell for this girl, right?” I forgot the fact that there’s another person, worse the person named Jessica yet I bluntly said those words without thinking about the impact beforehand.

 

“Yah. You’re embarrassing me! Anyway, hi Tiffany. I’m Jessica and I’m Taeyeon’s friend. It’s nice to meet you.” Jessica followed my acting and she smiled genuinely at the sleeping beauty.

 

“She’s one of my readers in AFF, Jessi. She’s my favorite reader honestly.” I gestured her to sit beside me and she did.

 

“So, what happened to her?” Jessica asked.

 

“I don’t know. Perhaps, tomorrow the doctor will give the result. She is beautiful, isn’t she? Even when she’s sleeping with bare face, it still cannot change the fact that she’s still undoubtedly beautiful.” I exclaimed with a smile decorating my face.

 

“Do you like her?” Jessica ignored my explanation regarding Tiffany’s feature and asked me.

 

“No.”

 

“I love her.”

 

“I-is that so?” Jessica’s voice quivered yet I don’t know why. Her trembling voice made me turn around to face her just to see her covered in tears. I raised my eyebrows and wrinkled my face in full concern.

 

“What happened?” I asked Jessica gently.

 

“Do you not know? Are you really that blind or are you really that dumb, Taeyeon-ah?” Jessica roughly wiped her tears before getting her bag and ran through the door and vanished just like that. It took me seconds to realize what just occurred.

 

“Sh-she likes me?” I asked to myself and I hurriedly followed Jessica outside.

 

I ran through the narrow corridor in purpose to seek for the familiar blonde woman I used to love very much. I need to explain to her and prevented her from misunderstanding the situation. But then again, what should I say to her? If my feelings are proven to be true and that she has more than just friendly feelings for me, what should I do? I feel so confused and lost. I don’t even know where my foot will drag me to yet I believe I can find Jessica. Where are you, Jessi?

 

“Jessi!!” I saw her petite body from behind. Her blonde lock is the most features which can make me easily detect her. I sped up my foot movement and grabbed her wrist.

 

“Let go of me!” Her voice echoed through the corridor, made everyone around us turned their heads to look at me. I sighed and stared at her with begging expression, secretly pleaded her to follow me.

 

“Jessi, we need to talk.” I softened my voice.

 

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Jessica intended to pull her wrist but I gripped it tightly that she couldn’t do anything about it. I made sure my grip wouldn’t be too hard for I don’t want to hurt her.

 

“Please, Jessica?” I begged her and she calmed down a bit. Her nose flared and she looked at me with full of disappointment more than hatred. I can also detect wrath from her eyes and I knew I deserved it.

-----------------------------------

 

“What do you want to talk about?” Jessica asked me as soon as we sat on the table for two inside the restaurant few blocks from the hospital where Tiffany is at.

 

“What do you mean by those words?” I answered her with another question. Before she even has chance to answer, a waiter came and asked for our orders. I just ordered orange juice while she ordered lime squash.

 

“I won’t repeat what I have said to you earlier. It’s your fault for not hearing it and understanding it properly.” Jessica scoffed. I didn’t know I have to laugh because she’s mad over a simple thing or have to feel guilty for I was to blind over many things that I failed to figure out Jessica’s feelings for me. Now that I remember about that, maybe I should ask her while I have chance.

 

“Jessi, is it possible that you have feelings for me?” I hesitantly asked her. I secretly hoped she would confidently said that I was just too arrogant and full of myself so I wouldn’t have to feel guilty and hurt her at the same time.

 

“…………….” Her eyes wandered anywhere but me. She avoided my gaze and couldn’t even say a word to answer my simple question.

 

“The real reason why I broke up with Donghae isn’t because he’s a jerk. Well, he is a jerk but it just added more reason for me to break up with him. I wouldn’t know how to end our relationship if he was a gentleman and understanding person. I don’t even know I should feel lucky or guilty for utilizing it as the main reason for break up with him.” Jessica didn’t directly answer my question but I chose to listen to her and let her speak.

 

“I used to hate you very much for daringly said those words to me. I always thought of you as my best friend or even like a sister. I always shared everything to nothing with you. That’s how much I trusted you. I believed you would treat me the same and never once a thought of you liking me more than just best friend crossed my mind.” Jessica paused.

 

“You didn’t have any idea how shocked I was to know that you liked me more than best friend. You even said you loved me. Leaving you in shame was a reflex and I knew it was wrong. I’m so sorry, Taeng. Yet, my horrible attitude toward you didn’t end there. I treated you like a shadow. I ignored your existence and gave my best effort to avoid you as much as I could. I deliberately spent my whole time with Donghae and even purposely showed PDA in front of you to show you that I was normal, much different from you.” Jessica stopped when the waiter came and served us our drinks. Yet I noticed her using past tenses instead of present. She used to be normal? What’s the meaning of that? At this time, I was reminded of Tiffany’s mockery who said that my brain is Pentium II. Sighed. How I miss her so much.

“That’s okay.” I smiled sincerely at her and she sipped her drink a bit. She inhaled deeply and continued.

 

“That’s not just that. I didn’t even deny or tried to defend you when Donghae said bad things about you. Heck I was even the person who told him about your gay minded. I told him how you shamelessly confessed to me even when you knew that both of us are women. He laughed at that and said that you’re sick and crazy. What made me feel worse is the fact that I joined him and laughed along over your innocent and pure feelings for me.” Jessica bit her lower lips and soon a tear escaped her eye.

 

I was too shock hearing such confession from her to even react. I clenched my fist, trying hard to redeem my anger and disappointment toward her. I shouldn’t be mad at her since it was partially my fault too. If only I didn’t confess to her, then she wouldn’t have any reason to bad mouthing me. It cannot be called bad mouthing too since what she told Donghae is true. I gripped hard at my own drink and sipped it, trying to calm down and braced myself better.

 

“I’m so sorry, Taeyeon-ah.” Jessica seemed noticed my darkened expression and moved her hand to touch mine. I let her yet I didn’t say nor did I do any movement.

 

“Just continue, Jessica.” I stated flatly.

 

“Time passed and perhaps you didn’t realize but I know how you often stole a glance or two at me. I deliberately pretended not to know but I know. I also noticed how you’ve lost some kilos in such a short time. And that’s all caused by me. I’m the worst, aren’t I?” Jessica chuckled bitterly. When she smiled, her tears streamed down more rapidly and I this time succeeded to defeat my own ego. I took the tissue faster before her hand could reach it. I moved my body forward and grazed her cheek tenderly to brush the tears away.

 

“Hey, don’t cry. It’s all in the past anyway. We’re good now, aren’t we?” I cooed her. I was about to draw back my hand when her hold prevented me from taking back my hand. She moved my hand and made my temple caress her cheek. She closed her eyes and glued her cheek closer.

 

Jessica.”

 

“About your question earlier. Yes I do. I like you Taeyeon-ah.” Jessica opened up her eyes and straightforwardly stated. I quickly took my hand and my eyes grew widely.

 

It’s not that I didn’t expect it. Her kindness she showed toward me lately had been more than enough to show that she had more feelings for me but hearing it directly from felt totally different. I didn’t know how to react. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do. It was too sudden and the one whom I really love is still lying helplessly in the ward. Her sobbing sound made me look up and I saw the most heartbreaking scene before me. Jessica cried her tears out. The tears flowed down freely and drenched her face.

 

“Jessi.. Stop crying.” I scooted my chair to beside of her and hugged her sideways.

 

“How can I stop it when I know that I’m too late? You already move on and there’s nothing I can do about it. You even met Sunny along the way and free from Sunny, you met Tiffany and fall for her.” Jessica hid her head inside my crook and continued crying. Her tears dampened my shirt yet I didn’t care about it.

 

“Jessica-“

 

“I just realized how I was fooling myself by trying to replace you with Donghae when you’re no longer available. You’re not him and he forever can’t be you. He’s different. He couldn’t treat me as gentle as you. He couldn’t be as understanding as you. He couldn’t hear as attentive as you. He couldn’t prioritize me like you did. He is not you, Taeng.” Jessica murmured yet I still could hear what she said. I rubbed her back softly and soothed her.

 

“You can expect someone to be someone else, Jessi. And based on your words, probably you just feel like you’ve lost me. You missed me yes but not more than that. Now that we’ve back, eventually your feelings will talk for yourself that you don’t like me that way. You just missed me and that’s that.” I told her and she shook her head in disapproval.

 

“You are wrong, Tae. If you think that I haven’t thought that way too, then you are wrong. At first , I thought what you’ve told me yet the more days I passed with you, the more I feel that these feelings are real. I didn’t even feel this when I was with Donghae.” Jessica tilted her head and looked at me in the eyes.

 

“Here. Can you feel this?” Jessica took my left hand and placed it above her heart. I attached my palm on her chest and I could feel her heart thumping loudly. The rate is unstable and there’s no rhythm on it. It’s the same with my heartbeat when I’m face to face with the one I love. Is it possible that-

 

“I cannot even call it like anymore since my heart always acts this way whenever I’m with you. I’m in love with you, Taeng.” Jessica finally said it. Those three words. The same words I ever said to her months ago.

 

“I, Jessica Jung who has more pride than anyone you’ve ever known could even go as far as approaching you first and asked you to have lunch with me. You still remember that, don’t you?” She asked and I nodded.

 

“Don’t you have anything to say, Taeng? I have prepared myself for rejection but knowing that I will hear it directly from your mouth, I believe my preparation wouldn’t be enough to catch me when I fall and made me stop crying over you.” Jessica forced a smile and I knew how hard it must be to smile like that.

 

“It’s not that, Jessi. I just didn’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt you.” I stated honestly and she smiled a little before moving her hand upward and touched my cheek.

 

“Sometimes you need to be firmer and stricter toward yourself, sacrificing one person so you can have your happiness with the one you love. I know you love that person even when you haven’t said it to me. I can see it from your eyes. They said that eyes are the window to your soul. I guess that’s true after all.” Jessica encouraged me that it’s okay to say no to her. I knew that being too soft and cannot be firm is one of my biggest weakness that I cannot overcome until now and I think Jessica knows it too.

 

“I’m.. I’m sorry, Jessi but this heart is no longer mine so I have no right to give it to anyone. Not before she directly say no me. But even if she says no, I don’t think I can give it back to anyone but her.” I finally could say it even not that smoothly. Jessica weakly nodded her head and smiled much more sincerely this time.

 

“At least you answered it directly in front of me and not running away like what I did when you confessed to me. Thank you, Taeyeon-ah.” Jessica leaned in closer and pecked my cheek. I blushed immediately and she giggled. She’s still beautiful even when her eyes are red and there are eye bags under her eyes.

 

“You are welcome. Move on, please?” I used my brush to wipe the remaining tears on her face.

 

“Not now. I still want to cherish the feelings I have for you.” She reasoned out and I tilted my head in confusion.

 

“Why in a rush, Taeyeon-ah? I don’t fall in love with a wrong person anyway. You are nothing but perfect in my eyes and if not because my own fault for letting doubt possessed me, I’m sure we’re together by now.” Jessica grabbed my hand and entwined my fingers with her.

 

“But I will only hurt you.”

 

“How can an innocent woman like you hurt me? You did nothing wrong, Taeng. What’s wrong in this situation is just the timing. I was too late and you have moved on. Aside from that, nothing is wrong. Loving you is not a wrong thing, is it?” Jessica asked me and I could only sigh.

 

“I just don’t want your love unrequited, Jessi. Find out a better person out there. I’m sure you can have a woman or man who is much better than me. I don’t deserve your love.” I sadly stated and hang my head low.

 

“Who said so? Even blind person can still see how kind you are, Taeyeon-ah. You can’t even slap a mosquito and choose to sacrifice your blood to be by it just because you pity it. You said it wouldn’t bite if it wasn’t hungry. You came home with many small bums and your mother was so shocked that she immediately gave traditional oil all over your body.” Jessica retold the story about us when we were still kids.

 

Mother eh? Where is she now? I wonder how my families are. Do they still remember me? Do my brothers realize that they have sister named Kim Taeyeon? Does my father remember that he ever had a daughter named Kim Taeyeon? Does my mother remember that she ever gave birth to a girl named Kim Taeyeon? Without my knowing, tears already fell out from my eyes and it seemed like Jessica knew that her words could only remind me of the people who used to call me part of their families.

 

“I’m so sorry, Taeyeon-ah. I didn’t mean to-“

 

“It’s fine, Jessica. It’s just me who’s too overacting about it. But yeah, you are right. I couldn’t even hit a mosquito when I was a child but look what I have done now? I hurt your feelings. I made my families disappointed and disgusted of my well-being that they chased me out from the place I used to call home. I’m the worst, Jessi.” I bitterly smiled while letting tears dripping out from my two eyes.

 

“No you aren’t. They just haven’t accepted you the way you are, Taeng. Give them some time to digest the fact that you are what you are and eventually, they will come to their senses and accept you back. Trust me.” Jessica squeezed my hand a little to reassure me.

 

“Thank you, Jessi.”

 

“Taeyeon-ah.”

 

“Yes?” I answered.

 

“Just say it, Jessi.” I saw hesitation in her eyes and she took a long breath.

 

“If only.. If she cannot return your feelings, what will you do? Can- can you give us a chance?” Her question was like a storm on the calm ocean. It made me realize that it could indeed happen. I was too confident that Tiffany had feelings for me. Her eyes said it. Her caring attitude said it. But what if those were just how she expressed her feelings to a sister or best friend? Yet I already know what answer I would give to Jessica.

 

“If that happens, then I will patiently wait for her. Like a sea which won’t dry, my love for her will never be empty too. It will never dry and even as season changes and time goes by, I will always be here and stand by her. Always.” I confidently stated it and Jessica looked surprised hearing such words coming out from me.

 

“You really do love her, huh?” She weakly asked.

 

“I do.” I smiled.

 

“When.. When will you decide whether to continue waiting or to stop waiting?” She asked again with full of hope reflected on her eyes.

 

“I’m not sure about that, Jessi. As you have seen, she is incapable to give me answer by now. She’s unconscious and I don’t know when she will wake up. Yet, for sure, I will wait for her to wake up first, make sure that she’s alright and when the time is right, I will try to confess to her again and make sure my feelings will be conveyed better this time.” I told her sadly. Tiffany-ah, when will you wake up?

 

“One more question, Taeng.”

 

“Shoot.”

 

“Let’s just say for the worst possibility. What if she never wakes up?” The question startled me.

 

“She will.” I exclaimed confidently.

 

“How do you know?”

 

“I just know. Because, I will even willing to trade my soul for her if that’s what it takes to make her wake up and continue her life like before.” I continued and this time, it’s Jessica’s turn to be surprised.

 

“Wh-what do you mean?”

 

“Nothing. Let’s go now. I miss her already.” I smiled widely and signaled the waiter to come so I can pay my bill.

--------------------------------------

 

“Tae.” Jessica called me and I turned my head around. She asked me to go on first since she wanted to get something from her car baggage and I said yes. I was waiting and innocently staring at the girl before me. Her pale face, her dried lips, her helpless state were totally different from the last time I met her.

 

“Yes?” I replied and she gave a laptop bag to me.

 

“Here is your laptop. I asked your place owner to give the spare key. I’m sorry I told her that I was your girlfriend so she would give the access to enter your apartment.” Jessica shyly admitted and I smiled gently, saying that it’s totally okay.

 

“I brought this so you can make the presentation slides for tomorrow. You didn’t forget that you need to prepare yourself for tomorrow’s occasion, right? It’s important, Tae.” Jessica noticed how I giggled and scratched my head.

 

“Omo! You forgot! Geez~ Be thankful for having me as your best friend or I guarantee you’ll be found dead by tomorrow. It’s a huge tender, Tae and your hardworking will be fruitless and meaningless if you stop here. Go, make the presentation now.” Jessica handed me the laptop and looked pissed yet I know she just wanted to be nice to me. She’s nice after all.

 

“Thank you, Jessi. What would I do without you, huh?” I got up and hugged her tightly. Her breath is short when I hug her and yes, I acknowledge it.

 

“Where will you do the work? You can go to café if you want. I will look after her while you’re gone.” Jessica offered.

 

“Naah.. I can work here. You can go home if you want, you know. You don’t need to wait for me. I’m fine on my own.” Jessica immediately shook her head in disagreement.

 

“No. I want to accompany you and make sure that you have everything ready for tomorrow. What if you fall asleep and there’s no one available to remind you or wake you up on time?” Jessica insisted and I chuckled.

 

“Okay. You win. You can sleep on the long couch while I will take the single one. Is that okay?” I gave up and allowed her. She nodded and walked to the long couch.

 

“I will go to sleep first, Tae. Wake me up if you feel sleepy. I will try to help you or at least be there to accompany you doing the presentation slides.” Jessica informed me.

 

“Of course. Sleep tight, Jessi.” I approached her and helped her to lie comfortably on the couch. I grabbed the pillow used by Heechul and placed it below her head. Next, I pulled the small blanket to cover her body up to her chest.

 

“Thank you, Taeng.” Jessica stared at me deeply.

 

“You are welcome. Good night.” I bent down my body and kissed her temple. I saw her closing her eyes when I kissed her. In the next seconds, I knew Jessica had fallen into a deep slumber with a genuine smile attached on her face.

 

“I’m sorry but I cannot love you as I used to. Find a better person for me, Jessi.” I sat in front of her and talked to her, pretending she could hear my words when I know she couldn’t. I moved from my seat and occupied the single couch beside where Jessica is sleeping at. I started my laptop and waited. I glanced at Tiffany before focusing back onto my laptop and started to make the presentation slides.

-----------------------------------------

 

“We will provide you with best services our company have and assure that everything we will use within this project is made in Korea and by Korean people.” I said to important people who are part of Board of Director from other companies and of course with the tender executant.

 

“These are some of services we will provide along with the pictures of tools we currently have to help you move the oil from its sources. Not only that, our company is pretty known well for its technology which will help you to do visibility study regarding the geologic features of the parents’ rock.” I ended my presentation with a contented smile. Not long after I could hear people clapping their hands and some of them nodding their head in understanding. My smile got wider and I bowed to the audiences.

 

“Good job, Taeng!” Jessica immediately stood up and hugged me when I was approaching my table.

 

“See? I told you that you can nail it and you just did! I didn’t choose the wrong person, did I? Let’s just hope that they can award us as the tender winner.” Yoochun shook my hand and tapped my shoulder in with satisfied face.

 

“Thank you everyone. I didn’t think I can do it since I didn’t have any preparation the night before. Do you think I was okay?” I turned my head and asked both of them.

 

“You did more than just okay, Taeng.” Jessica raised her thumbs up and I smiled again.

 

“She’s right. Now we just have to relax and wait for the announcement.” Yoochun leaned his shoulder back comfortably.

 

“We still need to pay attention to other competitors for your information.” I frowned and told him.

 

“Who cares for others when I know my representative is much way better than them.” He shrugged and closed his eyes. I could only shake my head before grabbing my phone and checked it.

 

There’s a new message from Heechul. I immediately wrinkled my eyebrows when I was reading the message. The content told me that the result from Tiffany’s examination has out yet the doctor still couldn’t determine what went wrong with her. He also said that all of Tiffany’s organs are functioning well. What happened with her then I wonder? I quickly got up and said to Yoochun and Jessica that I wanted to make a call. Yoochun nodded while Jessica stared at me curiously. I gave her a sorry look before dialing Heechul’s number and walked outside.

 

“Oppa! How is she??” I asked without knowing that I walked toward kitchen area.

 

“Her condition is still the same, unconscious and pale. There’s no progress or improvement showed. I just hope she can wake up soon, Tae. I miss her already.” He earnestly told me through the phone line.

 

“I know. I feel the same way too. What did the doctor say about her? Did he tell about the possibility for her to wake up?” I eagerly pried. I stopped at the doorway and tapped my feet on the floor restlessly.

 

“He wasn’t that brave to give guarantee regarding that. He just told me to stay strong and keep on hoping, saying that miracles happen. Sighed. I don’t know whether the doctor is not that competent or because it’s true that her condition is unknown. Do you think I need to move her to States or bigger hospital?” He asked me. I took time to contemplate while eyeing the situation around me. Actually I never knew that Tiffany’s family would be this rich. Perhaps she is indeed to humble that she prefers to use motorcycle.

 

“Let’s just wait and see for now. Did he say he would redo the examination? Probably he missed something. He is still a human anyway and trial and error is normal.” I advised him. From the corner of my eyes, I could see the man who looked very familiar entering the kitchen area.

 

“Anyway, Oppa. I’ll call you again later okay? I’m in important meeting now. Is that alright?” I hurriedly tried to end up the call.

 

“Okay. You take care. I’ll see you here then.”

 

“Yep! See you.” I hung up and hindered my petite body from his sight. I swear he looked so suspicious. I gave my best effort to zoom in my vision and yes, I finally could recognize this person. He’s the company owner of one of our competitors who sent a young and bright girl as his representative, yet the woman who presentated for him wasn’t that good if I have to say.

 

His company was always the one that’s hard to be defeated, especially in bidding process. His HSE plan, administrative documents, and commercial documents are always as competitive and great as my company. The last time his company joined the tender with us, his company won it. Out score wasn’t that far from him but well, what more can I say? But then again, what is he doing here anyway?

 

I saw him giving money and a small bottle to the office boy. He whispered something unheard by me and it added my suspiciousness. I decided to stay and observed him further. My feelings say there’s something wrong and I believe that there will be something wrong. I hide behind the wall and glued my head while still focusing my sight at him. I saw the office boy boiling hot water and both of them waited for the water to be boiled. He poured the water into the glass filled with coffee powder and stirred it using tea spoon. He then dripped the liquid into the coffee and stirred it again watched by the man. He evilly smirked and tapped the office boy shoulder before walking approach my direction. I in reflex quickly hid myself further, away from his sight. I shook my head and just thought to go back to my table.

-------------------------------------------

 

“This is your coffee, Sir. Please enjoy.” I immediately turned my head around hearing voice coming from behind me. I saw the waiter whom I was sure was given money by the wicked man earlier. I tried hard to keep my composure and not to be shocked by his appearance on my table.

 

“Thank you.” Yoochun gave his best smile and soon the waiter excused himself.

 

“Hmm.. This is just what I need to fight against the cold room thanks’ to the central air conditioner.” Yoochun murmured to himself.

 

“You just need to admit that you love to drink coffee so much, Sir.” Jessica commented. I ignored their remarks as I tilted my head to seek the man who gave the money to the waiter and yes, I found him sitting just two tables behind our table. He is smirking so evilly, anticipating Yoochun to drink it but of course I won’t let him.

 

“Yep! But no one can make coffee as perfect as my partner. He’s the best when it comes to coffee.” By now, Jessica has known about Yoochun’s real preference. Perhaps that’s also the reason why they are close recently.

 

“Judging by the looks of it. That coffee seems delicious.” Jessica exclaimed and I finally realized how the coffee is dangerous. I’m sure the waiter has poured poisonous liquid into the coffee and I need to stop Yoochun from drinking it.

 

“Let’s see about that.” Yoochun took the cup and brought it onto his mouth.

 

“Don’t drink that!” I quickly yelled and slapped the glass away, making it dropped on the floor with a clank sound. It’s shattered messily and drips of coffee can be seen everywhere, dirtying the used to be clean porcelain.

 

“How dare you!” The man stood up and walked to our direction.

 

“What happened here?” Yoochun asked in confusion.

 

“He! He’s trying to poison you! He gave money to the waiter, trying to bribe him and persuade him to pour the poisonous liquid into your coffee.” I explained while pointing my finger at him. He looked startled for a second yet in another second; he has gained his calmness attitude back. All eyes on us and the presentation upfront have stopped too. I could hear from a far people calling for police and help. Yet it doesn’t help to retain my nerve. I stil feel nervous as hell and so I brace myself and prepare for the worst to happen.

 

“Now that you have revealed my secret and ruined my plan to win the tender plus made him dead, I have nothing to lose anymore and I can do this without any regret!” The man moved his hand and slipped it into his pocket. Soon afer, a gun revealed and pointed at Yoochun direction.

 

“DIE!” He yelled and in reflex I jumped and yelled back.

 

“NO!!” That’s the last thing I said and Yoochun’s yell calling out my name was the last thing I heard. Jessica’s shocked and full of tears face was the last thing I see before I collapsed and lost my consciousness.

----------------------------------------

 

“Where am I?” I murmured to myself when I woke up and I didn’t know where I was. The last thing I could recall was when I jumped to cover Yoochun’s body plus save him from the gun shoot. The rest? I couldn’t remember.

 

I was lying on my chest when I woke up. I couldn’t see anything but whiteness surrounded me. I used my palms to withstand my body weight and sat up. I looked around just to find no difference between the place I was sitting at and the place around me. As far as I can see, it’s all white and the air is so thick yet I don’t feel suffocated at all. Vice versa, it feels so refreshing and it makes me wonder how and why. I decided to get up and stand on my feet. I massaged my temple, trying to contemplate what really had happened. Is it only a dream? I doubted it so I pinched my own cheek and I screamed because it felt surely hurt. I guess it’s not just a dream and that’s why it feels so real.

 

“Are you done trying to guess where you are now?” A man voice startled me and in reflex I turned my body around to face whoever he is.

 

“Who are you?” I asked him. His face looks so familiar like I’ve ever seen him my whole life. He has beard and mustache on his face with shoulder length hair. His hair is wavy and brown in color. He is quite handsome I must say. One think I’m sure of, he is definitely not Korean because he is too handsome to be one and his skin tone defines that he is probably from Middle East or something.

 

“Have you finished guessing who I am?” He smiled genuinely and yep! He is handsome. Anyway, how could he know what I was thinking? He’s not a fortune teller, is he?

 

“I’m not a fortune teller but I do know everything. I know what you’re thinking. I know what will happen tomorrow. I know who Tiffany Hwang is. I know your parents. I know when you were born. I even the one who chose Mr, Kim and Mrs. Kim to be your parents.” He told me and I frowned.

 

“Do you still not know me?” He sighed for a moment but only for a second. He looked up and approached me. I automatically stepped back to avoid him.

 

“Do not afraid of me, my child. I mean no harm.” He said to me. Oddly, his words soothed me and I stayed still. He walked to my direction and held me on my shoulder.

 

“Follow me.” He said and we started to walk forward. To where? I don’t even know myself.

 

“So, I assume you don’t remember what happened, why you’re here, and who I am. Correct?” He started the conversation and I earnestly nodded my head. He chuckled and continued walking with me beside him.

 

“First of all. It’s your soul who is here while your body is lying unconscious on the bed of hospital. Come and see for yourself.” We arrived in front of a huge gate made of finest porcelain I’ve ever seen. In a blink, the area around me changed and the plain floor turned into a very beautiful park full of blooming flowers with different color. In the middle of park, a fountain suddenly appeared and fresh water flows on it. Benches popped out from the ground and soon after, the view is totally different from before.

 

“Surprised?” He chuckled and I with an open mouth, wildly hanging could only nod slowly.

 

“Don’t be. You’ll be more surprised later.” He exclaimed and walked inside the gate. I followed him again.

 

“This is my place, a place which actually shouldn’t be visited before you die but let’s just say only for this time I make an exception. It’s a place where you can be if you did good things in life.” He explained and I nodded in understanding. I think he indirectly said that this is a heaven.

 

“Look upfront.” He requested me and I did.

 

The wall out of nowhere turned into a flat screen where I could see myself on it. I was shocked, too shocked actually. We were standing facing the wall ahead, seeing a movie where I was in it. He’s right about me. I saw myself lying helplessly on the bed with small hose attached on my body, maybe to help me breathing. I could also see Jessica sobbing badly beside me with Yoochun rubbing Jessica’s back to soothe her down. Junsu was there too, sitting on the single couch while carrying his baby. The baby looked so cute and innocent, unlike me who is full of nothing but sins.

 

“Taeng! Taeyeon-ah, please wake up. I know you can make it. You cannot leave me like this. Please, I beg you. I haven’t even had chance to reply all of your kindness to me. I was about to so please God, hear my plead. Don’t take her away from me.” Jessica mumbled but loud enough to be heard by people inside the ward and by me of course.

 

“Calm down, Jessi. I’m sure she will be fine. She is a strong woman. Sighed. If only she didn’t jump to save me, maybe she wouldn’t be here and suffer like this.” Yoochun patted Jessica’s back and cried along with her.

 

“Don’t say that, Chunnie. What happened had happened anyway. All we can do now is wait and pray.” Junsu got up and talked to his husband.

 

“Taeyeon-ah. I don’t know what to say to you. You have saved my husband yet I haven’t even got chance to say thank you to you. We haven’t even known each other and introduced ourselves properly. Wake up soon so I can say thank you directly to you while shaking your hand in a nice gestures. Thank you so much, Taeyeon-ah.” Junsu said to my body. I could detect tears dampen his face and Yoochun came to hug his husband and his baby.

 

“Yunnie.. Say thank you to auntie Taetae.” Junsu said to his cute baby.

 

“Aunty Taetae.. Thenngg kkyuuu.” Junsu deliberately moved his baby closer to my face. The baby named Yunho or usually called Yunnie looked down, gave me his best innocent smile and kissed my cheek. I was touched and unconsciously, I cried too.

 

“I think that’s enough for now.” Seeing that I could barely handle my emotion, he brought his hand upward and snapped his fingers. In a split second, the view before me vanished in a sudden. I threw my gaze away from hin, feeling slightly embarrass.

 

“So, have you figured out who I am?” He asked again. I wiped my tears first before turning around and nodding my head.

 

“You are whom people cherish and worship. You are who people believe can be the savior and save them from eternal punishment.” He seemed satisfied hearing my answer that he smiled sincerely.

 

“Why am I here then?” I asked him again. He ignored my question and again walked in front of me. I obediently followed him until we slowed down toward a gazebo surrounded by beautiful park full of colorful flowers. He ascended the stairs and sat on the swing in front of me. I occupied the seat beside him and he cleared his throat a little.

 

“Everything happens for a reason.” He started and I chose to be silent and heard him attentively.

 

“And so what had happened to you. It happens for a reason too. If you are wondering, you are between life and death. You are still alive in the real world yet in an unconscious state because your soul is here as you probably have known.” He paused.

 

“If you are asking or about to ask why you are brought here by Me; It’s because I need to explain one or two things regarding Tiffany Hwang.” His words startled me. But then again I realized, He called Lord not for nothing. He knew even the darkest secret of me or so I thought. I never really believe in God before this but if you ask me now, well I will faithfully said that I believe it. I just hope He wouldn’t put me into Hell since hmm you know, my preference, my behavior to my parents, and Sunny thingy. If He really should put me to hell then at least please not the deepest and hottest one. I pray inside my heart.

 

“Focus, Taeyeon. We haven’t reached the topic about where I will put you into after life. We’re still talking about Tiffany here.” He palmed His face and I smiled shyly.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“First of all, I sent her to your world because of some reasons. What are the reasons? I cannot tell you but one of those is you.”

 

“Me?”

 

“I’m not finish. Wait until I’m done speaking, will you?”

 

“Sorry again.” I blushed and He chuckled.

 

“That’s alright. You are a very curious girl and I know that.” He spoke. Of course He knew since He’s indirectly the one who created me. I muttered inside my heart when I remembered He would know anything and everything I thought of. In a reflex, I covered my mouth but of course not to avail.

 

“Surely I know so it would be better if you focus and concentrate on me only. You wanted to know about Tiffany’s secret for the longest, right?” I nodded.

 

“As she had said to you before that I sent her on missions and once she had completed the missions, I will bring her back here. Supposedly she should have been back by now but things happened so I postponed her comeback. In mean time, I didn’t expect you to save Yoochun but you did. Let’s just say it will lighten your punishment.” He sad in threaten tone but after some seconds He laughed.

 

“Ok that sounds bad.” He laughed again and I didn’t know what to do. Should I laugh?

 

“Don’t worry, Taeyeon. As you have mentioned that I was born as a savior. I guarantee the salvation of my people, including you with a condition that you need to believe in me.” He stated and I could breathe in a relief.

 

“Forgive and you will be forgiven. Seek and you will find. Ask and you will be given.” He continued and I scratched my not so itchy head in confusion.

 

“You never read bible, did you?” He shook his head in disapproval and I could only giggle in embarrassment.

 

“What will You do with me after this then?” I suddenly asked Him since I couldn’t hold my curiosity any longer.

 

“I will return you back to earth so you can continue your life normally.”

 

“What about Tiffany?”

 

“I will return her here; with me; to this place.”

 

“No! You cannot do that!” In rage, I declined His decision, forgetting the fact that He is the ruler of earth while I’m nothing but a mere human, one of His many creations.

 

“Why can’t I? I can do anything I want, Kim Taeyeon. Like I’ve said, everything happens for a reason. Whatever I want or will do has its own reason and only Me who have the obligation to know why. You must not and never doubt me or my decision, Taeyeon.” He reasoned out and secretly I knew He is right. Well, He never wrongs anyway.

 

“It’s not like that.” I sighed.

 

“Explain your reason then.” He allowed me. Wow, He is very generous, isn’t He? I regret I never brought myself closer to Him while I have the chance. Is it too late for everything now?

 

“Don’t run away from the topic, Taeyeon. How many times I should tell you that, huh? And if you ever read it, as long as you admit that I’m your Lord then your salvation will be guaranteed. Do you understand the meaning of that, don’t you?” He sighed this time and I laughed a little.

 

“Thank you for assurement. So yeah about the reason. First of all, since You told me that You can’t reveal the real reason why Tiffany was sent and was about to be summoned back, I don’t know the reason. I think it’s just between You and her, right?” I asked for confirmation and halted my speaking.

 

“Yes and if it’s not for her clumsiness, I’m sure you wouldn’t even know she was sent by Me and about to be summoned back soon.” He inhaled.

 

“Please forgive her for that then. It’s not her mistakes. If I didn’t force her to accept my love and kind of pushed her, I’m sure she wouldn’t have told me.”

 

“I know. Please do continue.”

 

“But different from me, she has people who love her, family who loves her so much, a brother who is willing to sacrifice anything for her sake, friends who will defend her, always be there for her and back her up when she needs it. Not only that, she is too a very obedient Christian and her preference is normal, totally straight, unlike me who loves a same gender. I’m nothing but a big sinner while she is an angel lost on earth.” A tear escaped my eye. I brushed it and continued.

 

“She has everything I don’t and she is everything I’m not.” I ended my speech shortly. I didn’t know why but I incapable to continue. Perhaps, it would be too painful to reveal my dark secrets to Him even though He knows about it anyway whether I say it or not.

 

“Who said that you are a big sinner? The fairest judge within this world is Me so you don’t have right to call yourself a sinner if don’t judge you that way.” He shook his head and firmly stated me that.

 

“Just go straight to the point, Taeyeon. What do you want?” I think, no I know He can read my mind so yeah, nothing to lose and here I go~

 

“I want to trade my soul for her.” I earnestly said to Him.

 

“Why? I know you love her so much. You don’t need to tell Me but I can feel how pure and sincere your feelings are for her. Yet, it doesn’t mean you can do all you want with that. It doesn’t mean you can easily sacrifice your own life for her sake. Besides, I can take your soul as soon as I want to and I can do the same with Tiffany, moreover when she herself already knows when her time will be finish.” He elaborated and tapped His chin.

 

“I don’t have any reason to live anymore. My family disowned me, saying that I was nothing but a disgrace for the family and my parents even could say as far as they regretted for making me born onto this world. The person whom I used to trust so much betrayed me. She even used me as a tool to satisfy her ual needs. Lastly, the person I love more than my own life is lying unconsciously, being helpless for she can do anything about her condition. With that, what more reasons do I have to go on with my life?” I exasperatedly said. Tears are streaming down my face uncontrollably and I don’t bother to wipe it this time.

 

“But you never know that all of those you mentioned can change don’t you? Why are you losing hope, Kim Taeyeon? Numerous people suffer more than you. They don’t even know whether they can still eat tomorrow or not; they don’t even know whether tomorrow there will be a miracle or not; they couldn’t even change their clothes because the only clothes they have are the one which attaché on their bodies. Can you compare yourself to them, Taeyeon? Can you shamelessly call yourself the person who has the worst luck in the world? Shame on you then!” He snapped at me and honestly, it startled me.

 

“The only thing they have is hope. The only reason why they keep on hoping is their belief on Me. Realize it, Taeyeon and rethink again.” His voice softened.

 

“If you have lost your hope then it means you don’t believe in Me.” He sighed in disappointment and I feel bad because I knew I caused it.

 

“If the only way to make her alive and able to continue her life is by trading my soul for her then please do it. What’s the use of living if the person you love is no longer in the same world with you? Why should I continue living if the only person who understands me the most is in different world? How do I live without her?” I weakly murmured and I knew He heard it well.

 

“You are a very stubborn girl, do you know that?” He desperately stated.

 

“Sorry?” I hesitantly said.