She found herself crying in a dazed and confused manner unable to steady herself. The control she needed was nowhere to be found and her shoulder just shook like she was meant to vibrate like that. The tears continuously poured down like an over boiling pot and Namjoo tried gritting her teeth together to shut herself up.

It didn’t work.

The echo of her childish cries resonated into her ears and she hated herself for letting it out this way. The warmth of his hand touched her arm and she listened to him step closer to comfort her.

A cry seeped from her lips when she tried to push him back, but it didn’t work. So instead she her other arm out to hit his chest.

“I missed you,” the words came through in slurs, “it hurt because I missed you. I hate you. Seeing you makes me miss you more and it scares me, but you don’t even know it. I hate you, Luhan, I hate you!”

Her eyes were so clouded with tears that she couldn’t see what kind of expression lay on his face before she was enveloped in his arms. With her face crushed into the nape of his neck Namjoo found herself further releasing the stress she’d garnered from being without him. Her cries were so loud it felt like they were able to travel through the walls to their neighbors, but it didn’t matter. The barrier she’d put up had crumbled down in an instant because of what had created the cold in her heart.

She’d missed him in ways she’d never known that it had been tormenting. Now it didn’t matter anymore, because she could feel his hand at her back and another on the back of her head. He was there and he knew it.

“I’m sorry.”

Pressing her face into his neck Namjoo freely lashed out her tears half-thinking his shoulder deserved to be drenched with tears.

“I missed you too,” his voice reached her ears, “so much.”

The touch of his lips to her head made her heart flutter and Namjoo wanted to continue hiding against him, but she felt him pull back to wipe the oncoming tears on her cheeks.

“Don’t cry anymore,” he urged. Then smiling; added, “Ok?”

Ceasing her sobs she tightened her grasp on his shirt. The room was suddenly very quiet and all she could hear was the slight beating of her heart. Maybe she could make his out too, she wasn’t sure.

She felt him lean toward her, but couldn’t bring herself to lift her head up to meet with his expected kiss. The sudden shyness she’d experienced after their shared night melted back into her. Even while they dated Namjoo never quite felt this timid.

It was as they said; nothing remains the same even if a relationship is restarted.

What kind of things would happen now? Did Luhan still have the same persona as the person who became her husband?

Namjoo’s lids instinctively closed and locked lips with him. A large part of her still wanted to believe that Luhan never changed, but the other small part of her knew it was impossible. Change was only a part of human nature.

This moment, right now might only be a fling.

That she’d been lonely and love deprived and that was the end of the story.

That as human beings they each had different urges that needed to be fulfilled.

Namjoo released a breath when Luhan pulled away and sighting the satisfied smile on his face heard her heart in her ears. Leaning her head onto his shoulder Namjoo shut her eyes to allow the mere moment to sink in as she hugged him.

Just a little attention and some affection might soothe her longing soul. Namjoo didn’t need a ring from him or any kind of promises. A little bit of time with the man she missed where they could do whatever was enough.

Reaffirming his arm around her waist to bring her closer to him Namjoo listened to her insides cry out.

She’d missed him.

For a long portion of the night she felt him sway her in his arms. They stood like that for so long that Namjoo barely fell asleep standing. She awoke to his light chuckle a few seconds later.

“Should I let you go wash up?” Luhan asked joyfully.

Her arms were curled up against his chest and she was breathing in the scent of his clothes. Her foggy mind refused to be cleared and Namjoo could barely fully lift her eyes open.

“But I like you in that,” she heard him talk against her. “It makes you look y.”

The corner of her lips lifted up in effort to laugh at his cheesiness, but the laugh never really came because she was so tired. A few seconds later her feet flew up from the ground and she felt his arm underneath her legs, her torso wholly leaning into him.

“Put me down,” Namjoo mumbled through closed lids and watched the lights go off. “Luhan…”

“What?” He asked stepping toward the bed.

“I said…” Namjo started before her bed met with the mattress.

“Put you down?” Luhan finished. “Already done, Mi Yun’s mother.”

His hand gently lifted her head up to situate it comfortably onto the pillow before he shifted onto his side to look at her.

“You even sleep pretty,” he commented reaching his hand out to brush her hair back and that was when Namjoo opened her eyes to look at him drowsily.

This handsome smile sparked off his face and Namjoo smiled in return. She watched his eyes wrinkle up with a broader smile elated from what he’d just received.

“What?” He asked.

“Nothing.”

The bed moved when he shifted closer and put an arm around her, turning her onto her side to face him. She could barely feel his soft breath touching her skin and without meaning to lifted her hand up to trace her fingers against his lips.

Closing his arm all the way around her waist he moved forward to kiss her on the forehead.

“Even though we’ve been here half a month already, I feel like I’m the happiest tonight,” he spoke.

Certainly he wasn’t just spouting nonsense. The way his eyes lit up and the way that soft smile sat on his lips throughout the entire time was evidence enough for her.

“Namjoo,” the way he called her name chilled her bones in a good way, “lets start over.”

For some reason she felt more awake now.

A silence fogged into the room and she felt his thumb caress her ear. The longer she stared at his calm face, the more she was unsure.

Namjoo definitely knew there was a place inside her heart for him never to be replaced by anyone else. Luhan was her greatest miracle, but she was still scared.

What if she only loved him again only to lose him?

If that was so, then she’d rather miss him forever then go through another breakup with him.

“Let me think about it,” Namjoo answered.

He was somewhat disappointed, but still in support of her, nodded. Because he loved her, he would wait patiently.

Stubborn Namjoo would never let things go his way if he forced her back. They were of the same stubborn nature anyway; Luhan would know what to anticipate.

Shifting closer he gently placed her head underneath his chin and continued hugging her to keep her warm. Bending her arms against his chest she kept hold of his shirt.

“Good night, Namjoo,” Luhan told.

“Good night.”

#####

His wife’s bundle of hair was still under his chin the next morning. The fact that he still had her in his arms was almost as unbelievable as the fact that she’d kissed him that one night. How precious she was.

Refusing to get up, Luhan continue to lie there. His attention lay on her hand still grasping his shirt and the eased sound of her breathing.

If only they were newlyweds, he thought, he wake her with a few kisses before forcing her up. The mere thought of it made him overjoyed.

During their newlywed years they would sometimes wake up to just lie in bed, stare at each other, and laugh. Now that he was thinking of it he missed waking to mornings like that with her.

His attention wavered when Namjoo moved and a sighing breath escaped from her before that hand loosened from his shirt. Her feet scraped his legs and she started turning onto her back for a waking stretch. Luhan allowed her to crush his hand all the while watching her open her eyes to stare up at the ceiling and throw her arms up to release the tension in her muscles.

This simplistic, normal side of Namjoo was part of her he liked too. Unlike other housewives who dolled up and stayed home to take care of the children, prep the table and wait for their husbands to come home; Namjoo hadn’t been given the opportunity to do so. Most of the time she walked around barefaced, in sweats, and never tried anything new.

Other women took to wearing their husband’s shirts for comfort and to look appealing, but Namjoo had never once worn his clothing. Luhan once told her he thought she’d look great in it, but Namjoo had just shot him a long criticizing stare.

Luhan now realized it didn’t matter. Namjoo was Namjoo; he liked her like this.

She was still in his blazer, that body fitting dress, and that makeup that had slightly smeared overnight. Her appearance was a bit unappealing, but he thought she was still hot.

After completing her stretch Namjoo turned to look at him, surprise flickering in her eyes when she saw that he was awake.

“Morning,” he smiled.

“You’re already awake?”

“Just woke up too.”

Namjoo turned away before sitting up and he craned his neck to look up at her.

“Lets wash up and we’ll talk.”

That meant they had to get down to business…

Luhan wanted to focus on them just a little bit more.

“Ok,” he answered reluctantly and watched her gather her stuff before heading toward the shower.

While waiting for Namjoo to wash up he decided to get them some breakfast. The thought of going outside to eat made him feel insecure, especially if other men wanted to look Namjoo’s way. For some reason, he felt more paranoid about the public’s attention toward her. In any case, he couldn’t be any less wrong about it than he was right.

When Namjoo walked out he felt his eyes swerve over her and he really wished they could just spend the day cuddling in bed or something.

It was…such a disappointment.

“I bought something,” he told, “if you’re hungry, go ahead and eat.”

When he walked out after his shower he found her sitting at the table with the food untouched. He was slightly surprised, but glad that she’d waited for him.

“You didn’t eat yet?” He walked over.

“Just…I thought we should eat together.”

He could feel his heart beating rapidly. He knew it. She’d waited for him.

Sitting down he dug into the bag before handing her her sandwich and drink before taking his share.

They ate quietly at first, his eyes always roaming over her. Namjoo was always still so chill, but this time around he knew she was just shying from him.

“What did you want to talk about?” Luhan started, finishing off the last bite of his sandwich.

“Yesterday, at the club.”

Luhan felt like he knew what was coming, but held it in.

“He said to meet him at a salt factory.”

He closely observed her for anything she might have to add, but she said no more. There was no use telling her she wasn’t allowed to go off on her own accord. Namjoo knew well that he wouldn’t let her go off on her own.

“Salt factory?” Luhan repeated. “What for?”

Namjoo shook her head.

Luhan calmly pressed his fingers into the wrapper of the sandwich. He first needed to lay out a few options. Was meeting at the salt factory crucial lto pinning Mario down? What kind of leverage would it give them? An advantage or disadvantage?

Why did these things always have to involve two way risks?

“When are you going?”

It was as if it was a given that the two of them were go to everywhere together. Namjoo didn’t seem to complain or shut him off by telling him she was doing this herself. Luhan was curious whether she was really thinking about getting back together with him; that was why she’d waited to eat together and talk to him about the salt factory.

In the end, he wanted her to tell him yes.

“Today.”

“Ok.”

That only meant they needed to make provisions and plan for the worst. Luhan hated planning for the worst, but there was no point in complaining.

Pulling his drawer open he peered inside for the gun before turning to glance at Namjoo, who was slipping her shoes on. They should have gotten two, he thought, and then he might feel more assured about going out there. With just one gun, he’d have to look out for Namjoo’s safety.

Considering the turn of events last night at the hotel he felt even more nervous. If only he could keep Namjoo hidden inside his pocket or if only he were assured of her permanent safety, he’d be so much more content. When they headed out he made sure to keep Namjoo close by.

They would have arrived at the fisherman’s dock at an earlier time, but because they were given wrong directions they ended up at weird locations. Because of that they were delayed and had to stop elsewhere for lunch before looking for the location again.

Throughout the journey he wondered if the salt factory existed at all and if Namjoo had been lied to. Then on the other hand, there was no real reason for anyone to lie to her.

After a long search they were finally dropped off on a dirt road surrounded by wild tall grass and cattails. Beyond that was a body of water with no movement or waves. It was a very still scenery as if it were in a standstill.

“Walk up ahead; you see that little wooden cabin up front? That should be the salt factory,” the driver instructed. “Don’t stay too long. It gets really cold at night because of the drafts that come in from the sea. If you want to find a ride back to the city, just walk down this road and you should see incoming cars.”

Luhan and Namjoo thanked the kind stranger who’d given them a lift from the city after asking around. A winding dirt path laid itself out in front of them somewhat welcomingly. The cabin was in sight, but from where they stood it looked like a little domino block.

A wind swept in and Luhan browsed his eyes around again. On instinct they both started forward, glancing around nervously every step of the way. Surprisingly no one jumped out at them without warning. Within due time they finally reached the wooden door to the salt factory the size of a shed. There was no bolt on the door so reaching forward he pushed the door open.

It was dark inside even when it was daylight. Luhan assumed there was no electricity in the shed.

As the door caked open a breeze of sunlight filtered into the empty salt factory. Too busy observing the factory he only caught the shadow that appeared between them too late before they were pushed in.