#####

Namjoo turned away from Luhan to look around as he handed the woman their tickets. How he’d gotten the tickets, she didn’t know. What the hell were they doing there anyway?

Her eyes scurried across the deep blue waves to the stairs taking them up to the ship. Still tightly holding onto her hand Luhan pulled her up after him. The design of the grand hall was enriching to her eyes. As they walked along the deep red carpet outlined in gold she turned to look at each white door and its silver knob they passed. Along the way they passed a very large dining room with round tables draped in white tablecloth. A grand piano sat in the far corner, but it didn’t seem like the hall was reserved for them.

There were greeters along the way; each one standing in a specific hallway instructing them toward their areas. Although their half of the boat was for the casual, Namjoo couldn’t help but want to go back and look at the ballroom reserved for the high-so’s.

She walked with Luhan down a paler corridor and when they stopped in front of their room she pulled her hand away.

“Enough already!” she complained shaking her hand about.

Leaning to her far left she took a glimpse of the others heading toward their rooms. Every one of them looked blissful compared to her.

“Hi there!”

Namjoo’s eyes swerved over to the young lady, who was staying in the neighboring room. Curretenly adorned in a strapless top and short white shorts, she nodded their way. After a moment Namjoo realized her eyes had caught Luhan. She sneered at them before turning around to walk away so she wouldn’t hear Luhan greet her in return.

There were hallways in every turn the further she headed down. Suddenly lost Namjoo spun around to stare down the empty corridors. The boat swayed under her gently and Namjoo worried about getting out of the hall she was in. Randomly turning a corner she discovered that she was only getting deeper into the halls.

The silence was so loud around her that she could barely hear any voices that could possibly lead her back to the surrounding life. Deeply inhaling and exhaling she started back down the way she’d come, that was if she was taking the hallway she’d come from. There were so many intersections that she was immediately confused.

Each hallway was empty. Since it was a cruise ship she didn’t expect anything extravagant on their end, but even so she seemed to be in a really high middle class part of the deal. Her surroundings smelled almost like a hotel with clean bed sheets and fluffy pillows. The thought of sinking into a fat bed made her body yearn for sleep.

Finally after nearly twenty minutes she caught the sound of lively chatter. Escaping from the corridor she stepped out to see a line of men and women, some in crowds. Each was in their own familiar groups engaging in chats of excitement. Everyone seemed casually dressed in clothing that weren’t too worn down, but flashy clothes that would stand out.

Running her eyes over them she caught some strangers shyly laughing and smiling as they talked for the first time. Discovering a new love interest sounded fun, exhilarating, and heart throbbing. There was obvious joy in their faces as they talked on and Namjoo silently shared their joy with them.

A failed expression of happiness for them spread over her face before she slowly turned away. Then gazing around she discovered they were in line waiting for food in a hall with long tables sheltered by a room of glass, so that while eating one could also enjoy the view. Uninterested, Namjoo walked toward the edge of the boat and leaned against the sturdy silver railing.

Without her knowledge the ship had already drifted from shore. The dock she’d earlier stood on was now, but a disappearing sight of land. She felt resentment throb in her chest and utter disappointment spread through her. She’d really wanted to ride that elephant, but stupid Luhan had ruined her chances again.

The mere thought of it coursed anger through her blood. An urge to punch him invaded her being and she lightly gripped her fingers into a fist. She would have to apologize to Sungjae for having wasted time to come pick her up only to find out she wasn’t there. All of a sudden Namjoo felt like a really awful person to him. And it was all Luhan’s fault.

That stupid jerk!

It was hard to believe he’d pulled her all the way here to a stupid cruise she wasn’t interested in. And the question hit her again; why where they there!?

From the corner of her eye she caught Luhan’s familiar figure and turned to glare, but only to see he was accompanied that that girl who’d been eye drooling over him. The sight sent her a flash of despise toward him, so turning away she stomped toward the line to camouflage into the crowd.

#####

“Oh…hi,” Luhan greeted the young girl.

“Are you here alone too?”

“No, actually I…” Luhan began and turned around to point at Namjoo only to see that she was nowhere.

A frown crossed over his face and he shifted around to look down the hallway. Where had Namjoo gone so fast?

“Ah…I was a bit nervous coming alone,” the girl began, “I hope we get along.”

“But I…” Luhan started, but couldn’t finish because she’d cut him off.

“I heard they’re serving breakfast, why don’t we go together?” she then pressed her lips to form a smile. “Lets meet here after putting our luggage away.”

Luhan opened his mouth to speak again, but she opened her door and disappeared into the room leaving him at a loss. Then with another frown he spun around to look for Namjoo.

Was she so eager to get away? She could have at least waited for him.

A fluffy bed covered in a white blanket appeared in front of him when he walked in. There was a little square window by the side of the bed and a door to the bathroom sat on his left. He could almost imagine seeing the blue waves glimmering outside through the blue curtain. And for a second, just for a second, he thought about watching the dark waves shine underneath the moonlight with Namjoo just as they used to watch the city lights.

The room was almost plain empty covered in a dark blue carpet. Walking over to the bed he took his backpack off and set it down. Resting his hand on the backpack he wondered about the things he and Namjoo might talk about later.

He knew she was probably agonizing over why he’d brought her there. He somewhat hoped they would be able to talk about just them and no one else; not Mario, not Mi Yun, and not Sungjae. There was no expectation on rekindling anything, but he wondered if Namjoo had begun thinking about him in romantic terms since coming across him.  

As he later walked down the hallway with the girl next door he felt for Namjoo’s ring in his pocket, twisting and turning it between his fingers. He would have her wear again before they left the cruise.

“It’s a gift from my grandpa,” her voice tuned back into his ears, “he said I’d definitely enjoy coming out here. Oh by the way, my name’s Jean. What’s yours?”

Luhan’s eyes focused on the hall ahead of them, “Luhan.”

She smiled prettily while still keeping an eye on him, “Then Luhan, lets both take advantage of our time here and make the trip worth it. Forget about our worries and just have fun.”

Take advantage of his time here, make the trip worth it, and forget about worries…now that didn’t sound so bad. Since the opportunity was given, why waste it?

“That’s a good idea,” Luhan commented and smiled.

After getting their food he walked into the lounge hall and browsed around. Most of the tables at the back were taken up. People were chit chattering away, but he didn’t see Namjoo. Luhan slowly walked down the aisle making sure to look at each table he passed. The scent of food drifted up his nostrils and he felt his stomach growling.

At last he spotted Namjoo sitting at an empty table in a seat by the far wall. He started her way, but felt a tug on his arm.

“Lets go sit over here,” Jean suggested pointing to the table across from Namjoo.

Luhan turned around to look at Namjoo as Jean pulled him toward the empty table and sat down. He noticed Namjoo slowly pause as she brought the spoon to and shift away so that her back was to him. Luhan wanted to send out a snort. Why was she being so uptight?

Biting his lower lip he turned away to feed his poor empty stomach.

#####

When Namjoo heard Jean’s voice babbling away she rose from her seat and left the lounge. Lost with time and bored out of her mind she aimlessly walked around. Climbing the stairs brought her to the upper deck where she spotted a tiny bar. A few old aged men were sitting on the stools by the counter enjoying their easy drinks with talks. Upon seeing them Namjoo lost her interest for a drink and walked over to the beach chairs.

She would have brought a book if she knew this was going to happen. If she knew Luhan was going to pull his jerk move she wouldn’t have returned to the hotel at all. Thinking about it sent her blood up to her head.

Plopping down onto the seat noisily she felt an angry frown come across her face and crossed her arms as she leaned back. She just wanted to sleep now, but her eyes opened again when she heard voices beside her. Namjoo turned to glance at two young men with college fresh faces and fine trimmed hair. Their eyes were deep, but alluring and she finally sat up.

“Hi,” the closest one to her greeted with a handsome smile while his friend on his other side leaned forward to look at her. “Sorry, did we bother you?”

“No, no, it’s fine. I was just about to leave,” Namjoo said before getting up and quickly walked back toward the stairs.

A sigh left her when she reached the second level again and leaned against the railing with her head drooping forward. If she were younger she probably would have hit up a conversation with them. Thinking about young love made her feel regretful. It had been such a great thing, but she hadn’t taken the advantage of it. In the end she left herself with only one option when she could have had three, four, five, or even six to choose from.

If she’d treated her youth better she probably wouldn’t be in as much trouble as she was now. It made her feel pathetic thinking about it. Now she couldn’t even withstand the thought of anyone hitting on her without feeling guilty for Mi Yun.

Namjoo spent majority of her time walking around bored and gazing at the young couples on board, watching love bloom, and elderly couples enjoying their precious time. She was envious of their lives. All she had was a jerk with her who’d forced her onboard.

She was so angry she hated it so much. The little concert they put on later in the evening couldn’t sincerely touch her with entertainment. As the high notes from the saxophone plunged into the air Namjoo spotted Luhan on the opposite side of the crowd watching with an amused smile. That little girl with him earlier was still with him and Namjoo angrily bit down on her lower lip.

“Fine, have yourself a date!” she thought negatively.

That smile increased on Luhan’s face when everyone applauded. How was he able to enjoy it all when she hated it so much!?

Turning around she slid out of the crowd and later slammed the door of their room. An angry pant shivered out of her breath and she walked into the bathroom to turn on the shower. She wanted to soak for as long as possible and lost track of the time she spent in there. It wasn’t until when she got out that she realized she had nothing to change into.

#####

Luhan lost sight of Namjoo during breakfast and couldn’t find her anywhere. With Jean tagging along made it even more bothersome. Half the stories she shared with him he didn’t listen. Namjoo was practically hiding from him, he assumed. But it wouldn’t matter. She’d have no choice, but to return to their room later. When he saw her then, it’d just be the two of them.

After that evening’s show he walked back into the room, but Namjoo was still not yet in. A sense of worry overcame him before he spun around at the sound of the door opening. He only realized it was the bathroom door when Namjoo stepped out with a white towel wrapped around her. They stared at each other for a second before Namjoo turned her face away.

Luhan glanced at her for another half second and turned to rummage through his backpack.

“Here,” he said holding out a change of clothes for her.

Namjoo’s eyes swerved toward her bundle of clothes in his hand before raising them up to look at him. A snort at how well prepared he was caught her off guard and she bit her lower lip bitterly. She stomped over and snatched her clothes away from him. When she readily turned to walk away his hand shot out to grab her arm.

“Wait, Namjoo,” he tried as calmly as possible, “can we talk?”

As expected Namjoo pulled out of his grasp and her face contorted up spitefully, “You came well prepared, didn’t you? No, I don’t want to talk with you. I don’t want to talk about anything with you. Mind your own business.”

Luhan opened his mouth to speak again, but the door suddenly opened. Alarmed, he grabbed Namjoo swerving her out of sight from whoever it was at the door. The clothes dropped from her hands landing on the ground when he turned around to see who it was. The smile on Jean’s face immediately wore down she realized he wasn’t alone.

“Oh…um…” her words fell disappointed just as her face, “I’m sorry. I didn’t…I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

The door closed and he turned back to look at Namjoo who pushed him back. His hands slid from her arms and saw that she was barely looking at him. Feeling apologetic he picked up her clothes and handed them to her again.

“Sorry,” he apologized, but Namjoo roughly took them from him before walking toward the bathroom and closed the door loudly.

When Namjoo walked out again later he could feel an aura of bitterness coming from her. So quietly grabbing his change of clothes he headed into the bathroom for his shower.

The roar of a blow dryer echoed in the room when he stepped out. Namjoo turned away from him and continued drying her hair as if he didn’t exist at all. Pressing his lips together to prolong his patience he began putting his clothes into his backpack and even took to folding her clothes on the ground. While stuffing them into his backpack he stole quick glances her way pondering over what to first talk about.

Pleasing Namjoo after an argument tended to be one of the most difficult tasks of his life. Memories of going around the house trying to cheer her up with stuffed animals, treats, or jokes returned to him. Sometimes she’d try to not smile, but her lips gave way and she’d push his face away from her. Other times Namjoo just easily gave him by putting him in a choke hold position.

Difference was; they were still divorced. Luhan had no clue whether Namjoo still harbored a soft spot for him. Lifting the backpack off the bed to offer him time for strength he glanced back at her.

“Where’d you go earlier?” he tried, but his voice was drowned by the roaring of the blow dryer.

He pressed his lips together again.

“Namjoo.”

Still, she did not turn. Her hair was probably well dried by now, but she was probably trying to ignore him if not to annoy him. Restraining a sigh from escaping he crawled over the bed and snatched the hair dryer from her.

Switching it off he told, “I’m talking to you.”

Namjoo immediately grabbed it back and turned it back on, “I can’t hear you.”

Suddenly irritated he grabbed the blow dryer, but Namjoo kept her grip strong on it and they became engrossed in a tug of war. Throughout the fight Namjoo twisted the blow dryer around blowing the heat into his face. Instead of trying to push it away, Luhan continued pulling it toward him. Catching on, Namjoo resisted and fought to pull it back.

It only dawned on Luhan later that the fight was useless since they were just pushing and pulling. Reaching for the cord to his left he immediately pulled it out of the outlet enclosing them into silence at last. However, suddenly losing balance Namjoo plunged face forward into the bed shoving him back as she fell.

His heart drummed childishly when the back of his hands hit the bed and Namjoo landed on him. A deep breath pelted out of him when her soft hair skidded against the side of his face as it used to fall over his face when they kissed in bed. With a short turn of her head he felt her nose touch his face and slowly turned his head to look at her. Luhan caught her eye before she sat up and got to her feet.

A wisp of cold air desolately whisked over him. Sitting up he grabbed the blow dryer and scooted over.

Turning to look at the foot of the bed he gave up on talk, “Lets just get some sleep instead.”

“I’m not sleeping with you.”

Luhan twisted his head to look at her. Just how long was she going to go on like this!?

“Fine,” he deepened his tone having enough of her, “go sleep elsewhere. On the ground, on the deck, in someone else’s room. Go!”

Namjoo’s eyes hardened on his face and crossed her brows. Why were his stupid words of agreement pissing her off? Because she hadn’t expected it?

Namjoo felt her blood rush to her head before she grabbed her pillow. For a second, Luhan thought she was really going to go, but she just threw her pillow down in the middle of the bed.

“You stay on your side, I’ll stay on mine,” Namjoo heaved an angry puff before hitting the light switch and crawled into bed.

While lying there he listened to the silence droning on. Opening his eyes he stared into the empty darkness biting at him. Waiting for him to give in to his emotions before it would come get him, envelope him and pull him in. And in due time he’d also be one of those unseeable strands of a soul hanging waiting for attention.

Twisting his head he peered at Namjoo who was sleeping without a pillow. Slightly sitting up, never minding the border between them, he grabbed his pillow and scooped his hand under her head. Namjoo didn’t respond, which told him she was well asleep. And he didn’t think it’d be so much of a comfort to have her beside him at night even if she wasn’t sleeping on his right. He’d missed her presence.

Namjoo shifted onto her back once he placed her head onto his pillow and folded her arm over her chest. Luhan peered down at her captivated by a sight he hadn’t seen in a long year. There was a tranquil peace written on her face; one he didn’t see during the daylight.

His eyes skimmed every edge, every corner, and every surface of her face. He’d really wanted to have a heartfelt talk with her earlier, but Namjoo was probably very angry with the way he’d brought her there. When angry, she’d stay angry for as long as possible. Their cold war didn’t seem to have come to an end just yet; even when he wanted her and for all this to be over with.

Bending forward he closed his eyes giving her a quick kiss before reopening them. Hesitantly reaching a hand forward he felt for her face and cupped his hand around it. A smile of warmth flooded him and he couldn’t help, but run a thumb over her cheek. She was like a gem in his eye, one that belonged to him only, one that he didn’t want another to have. Namjoo was the diamond on his finger, on the ring he kept safe at home.

Very gently, he played with her bangs and broadly smiled. If only she didn’t have to fight him, everything would be perfect.

#####

For a long time Luhan didn’t move away. Namjoo was well awake ever since her head hit the pillow. At first she hadn’t wanted to open her eyes to see him, and then she’d missed the timing to push him away. When Luhan finally turned away to sleep she opened her eyes.

The silence seemed to be talking to her, but she couldn’t catch what it was trying to say. When she turned Luhan had his back to her, his body flat against the bed since he had no pillow now. With the blink of an eye she shifted onto her side all the while skimming a thumb over the lip he’d earlier kissed.

What had gotten into him?