Sunggyu stared at his phone as everyone else moved around him. Everyone in the house gathered in the living room, himself included. He was in the chatroom that housed the Nam brothers, Dongwoo, Hoya and himself. Hoya left the chat and no one commented on it. No one tried to add him back either. It was a clear indication that the Nam brothers were well informed as to what happened as well. His phone vibrated and a new message came in.

Junho
hey, how are things?

He tapped in an answer and sent it. It’s been a few days since Dongwoo became a resident of the Kim house. Within the next day of Dongwoo’s arrival, Mrs. Jang showed up at their doorstep with swollen, red eyes. There was a long discussion soon after. His parents sent the girls out to the park, leaving Sunggyu to stay with Dongwoo as both Mr. and Mrs. Kim sat down with Mrs. Jang in the living room.

Dongwoo’s mom was unable to do anything to convince her husband to let Dongwoo return, unless of course, he renounced to being gay. The living room went quiet, deathly so, with that announcement as all eyes turned to the blond. He could see the hope in his mother’s eyes but he couldn’t do it. The short teen shook his head, not giving way to his father’s demands.

His father, like Mr. Kim, held high expectations of him since he too was the only son out of three children. He tried to meet his demands and he did his best to meet most of them. He spent most days studying if he wasn’t hanging out with Sunggyu but it was never enough. No matter what he did that lingering, “You could have tried harder,” stung in his chest and he wasn’t going to take it any longer.

“I can’t, Mom. This is me, and if he won’t understand it…”

“We’ll be happy to take him in,” Sunggyu’s mom filled the silence, “It’ll be easier for both of you. Dongwoo is a good kid, and he should be surrounded by supportive people, not someone like Kwangsun,” Mrs. Kim tried to reason.

“How did you do it? How did you break the news to Dongyul?” Mrs. Jang asked, referring to how Mr. Kim found out about Sunggyu’s own preferences.

“…We actually found out at the same time. I had my suspicions but it was hard to really know for sure. He’s my only son after all. I didn’t have anyone to compare him to. And whether he’s this way or that way, all my children deserve the same love. They were born from the both of us…,” Mrs. Kim let out a small laugh, “We actually had a really big fight the first night I brought up the possibility of Sunggyu being different,” she explained, revealing something that even Sunggyu didn’t know, “I just kept pressing the matter until he finally decided not to explode and listened to me instead.”

Sunggyu stared at his parents for a few moments as he remembered exactly how it was that his secret was spilled none too graciously by his second eldest sister, Eunae. Dongwoo only just confessed the feelings he held for Hoya when Sunggyu’s courage grew to tell him that he also liked boys (purposefully omitting that he happened to like the same boy as well). When he noticed his sister standing at the door with a look of disgust on her face, it was already too late. She had dashed downstairs almost immediately, yelling at the top of her lungs that Sunggyu and Dongwoo were gay.

He wasn’t sure why Eunae resorted to something like that. He never got a chance to ask her but as he followed down the stairs a few minutes later, after calming down a little, he was surprised to find his parents calmly waiting for his arrival. After getting him to fetch Dongwoo they sat in the dining room before they asked that inevitable question: “Is it true?”

Lying seemed to be the best way out of it but Sunggyu couldn’t bring himself to do it. He was trying to encourage Dongwoo by entrusting him with a similar secret and the next second he was going to be confessing it to his own parents. He struggled with himself for a long time already and it was no longer an unsure issue within him. It was simply a matter of acceptance.

And he nodded, tears escaping his eyes as he looked down at the long mahogany table. He felt like he let down his parents; his father. His father expected many great things from him because he was the only male and he couldn’t bring himself to face the look of disappointment he undoubtedly wore at the moment.

“Dongwoo?” Mrs. Kim asked.

He could see his best friend cast his eyes downwards as well, nodding his affirmative. They heard a chair screech against the tile floor and in the next moment he could smell his mother’s perfume as she embraced them, pressing them against her bosom as she whispered, “It’s okay,” over and over in hopes of comforting them. Mr. Kim didn’t reproach him, nor did he avoid him. It was as if nothing changed between them and he would have to thank his sister for forcing him to come out with a secret he didn’t want to accept.

Sunggyu realized he really was lucky as he watched Mrs. Jang cry in front of them with Dongwoo trying to calm her down, saying that he’d go visit whenever his dad was away. That did the trick. Dongwoo’s father was usually always on business trips so it helped to ease her mind.

Dongwoo’s sisters came by later on in the day, bringing him boxes of clothes and the necessary bathroom amenities, but it escalated quickly to more tears and apologies that neither party really needed to say.

The auburn headed male wanted to stay by Dongwoo, to keep him from getting depressed and as such, turned down all invitations to go out. He felt the bigger priority at the moment was his best friend’s wellbeing, and Junho would have to wait for a while. He explained everything that happened and the male offered his help and support.

It has been four days since things spiraled out of control. Dongwoo was doing better but he would have moments where he would space out, his usually happy demeanor replaced by a serious look and a gaze that didn’t focus anywhere before being interrupted by Choonyei and Jinho.

It was Friday night, game night, and they were currently debating what game to play. There was much more commotion than other nights. Aecha and her husband joined them that night and there was a lot of fuss over choosing the first game to play. Sunggyu wasn’t putting up much of a fight, his phone distracting him from putting in his two cents. The doorbell rang and Yeunja was quick to get on her feet, rushing to answer.

“Let’s have a majority vote!” Aecha yelled above the arguing, “Put all the games on the table and we’ll vote on them.”

Everyone gathered around the table, chatting and arguing with one another. They were about to start when Yeunja called for Sunggyu.

“Woohyun’s outside. He says he wants to talk with you.”

A sense of dread filled him almost immediately. He knew he’d have to talk to Woohyun sooner or later, but he didn’t work up the courage to do it. He wanted for everything to settle into relative normality at least. He glanced at Dongwoo who offered him a worried look. He pocketed his phone before getting up to go meet with the male.

“Why didn’t you invite him in, honey?” Mrs. Kim asked.

“He said he didn’t want to inter—” it was the last thing Sunggyu heard his sister say as he approached the door. He stepped outside when he noticed Woohyun was leaning on the railing by the porch steps staring down at the wooden floor. He closed the door quietly behind himself and stood with his back against it. The silence that reigned was awkward.

“Yeunja said you wanted to speak with me…” Sunggyu finally said after an elongated silence.

It was so surprising how the senior felt that he was speaking to a complete stranger. He didn’t know what to expect. Suddenly it felt like all the things that brought them together as friends didn’t exist anymore. Calm down, calm down, he repeated in his head.

“I actually wanted to talk to you too,” he added, hoping to ease the tension a bit.

He pushed himself off the door and took a few steps forward. There was still plenty of distance between them, more than two arm’s length, when Sunggyu turned to him.

“I…I’m sorry,” the auburn headed male finally said, “I didn’t mean—”

Woohyun shook his head, “You don’t need to apologize, just like you don’t need to explain anything to me.”

Sunggyu’s resolve and excuses, which is essentially what they were: excuses as to why he kept it all a secret, all withered away at those words and he felt his heart shrivel along with it. Woohyun was disappointed, that much he could tell.

“You didn’t trust me. In the end, that’s all that matters.”

“That’s not true,” Sunggyu denied, “I was afraid… and you can’t tell me I had no grounds to be afraid. Look at what Hoya caused.”

Woohyun finally looked up at him but quickly averted his eyes when he caught Sunggyu’s.

“Then why was Junho the only exception?”

“Junho? Why do you think that?”

Woohyun hesitated to speak for a moment before turning his head away in the opposite direction, “Sunday night, you two…”

Realization dawned on Sunggyu, “You saw…?”

“N-no! Myungsoo did…! He told me about it…” Woohyun explained quickly, “I thought Hoya knew, but he was as shocked as I was…”

“So it was you two that told him,” Sunggyu said to himself, realizing that his hunch was correct. Despite knowing that, he wasn’t angry. Things could have been handled much more differently if he convinced Dongwoo to confess their secret… at least it was what he was hoping for. As things were, there was no way he was sure it would have gone smoothly either way.

“I thought we…” for some reason Woohyun hesitated for a second, looking confused himself, before clearing his throat and composing himself, “A-Are you two dating?”

“Hm?” Sunggyu asked, unsure of what he was talking about before piecing things together, “Oh! No! I mean, not exactly…”

“I see…” Woohyun bit his bottom lip before pushing himself off the railing and turning to face Sunggyu, “I actually only came to let you know that we’re moving out.”

The bright auburn headed male felt his heart drop at hearing those words, “You’re moving?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I only have one more year left of high school and I need to concentrate on my studies, so we’re going back to my grandma’s,” Woohyun explained.

Sunggyu nodded in understanding. He was going to have an excruciating second term, not that the first one wasn’t terrible to begin with. But even if he knew, he didn’t see why they couldn’t stay and finish up in Jeonju. He didn’t say a single word even if it felt like his heart dropped from his chest.

“That was all I wanted to say. I was going to tell everyone but I forgot that today was Friday,” the junior said, pointing to the house for no reason, “Sorry.”

“Yeah… I don’t… I don’t think the girls would take it very lightly,” Sunggyu agreed, struggling to keep his voice steady. He hoped Woohyun didn’t notice.

“I’ll tell them tomorrow. See ya.”

“Are you...always this impulsive?” he asked.

Sunggyu clenched his fists when the only reaction he got was a careless toss of a hand. He could feel his heart constricting as he watched the junior leave. It was an involuntary reaction, he couldn’t control himself and he berated himself for being unable to say anything else. But at that point, he didn’t think he could speak. His throat felt tight and his chest felt heavier than ever.

Woohyun was actually leaving.

“I’m still surprised with Dongwoo,” Junho said as he placed a small bag down in front of them.

Sunggyu stared off into the distance, his gaze unfocused as he nursed the drink he bought himself earlier. It was Saturday, a full week after he felt like they reached on amazing milestone on that beach, and yet Woohyun was leaving. The last thing he wanted to do was go out. He just wanted to curl in bed and sleep, sleep everything away. However that proved impossible when Dongwoo forced him to get up and get dressed because “Junho is coming by in fifteen minutes.” And now he was sitting under a tree at a nearby park with said male next to him.

“I wasn’t expecting him to call me.”

Sunggyu snapped out of his trance and offered Junho a small smile, “Dongwoo is something else. He’s worrying about me when he’s got the whole house worrying about him.”

“Yeah, he’s a great friend. And so I had to listen to him. You’ll be whiter than a sheet of paper if you stay locked up inside.”

Sunggyu smacked the man’s thigh, his lips forming a small pout.

“Hey! Dongwoo said that! I was just repeating it!” Junho said with a chuckle.

The senior sighed, his mind wandering again. He checked his phone and fumbled with it for a while before deciding to place it aside. He was spacing out and he was being restless. He wasn’t sure when Woohyun and Myungsoo were leaving and he at least wanted to say a proper goodbye to the sophomore. Myungsoo was like the younger brother he never had, so he grew especially fond of him. Although granted, he wasn’t sure if Myungsoo would want to… He forced that thought to a screeching halt. Myungsoo wouldn’t treat him coldly, he was sure.

He was startled out of his thoughts as he felt something on his thigh. It was all too familiar a feeling but when he looked down it wasn’t Woohyun’s sharp nose and soft eyes that looked up at him. He sighed unknowingly. Junho placed his head on his lap, making himself comfortable, offering a shy smile up at him. Sunggyu couldn’t help but return it, hopefully masking the sadness he felt with it.

The auburn haired male would stand to argue that Junho was incredibly handsome, he had a great smile, an amazing personality and he was caring and probably most important of all, completely straightforward. Sunggyu could also stand to argue that his being straightforward was the reason why Junho was with him at that very moment.

“Sunggyu…” Junho started before sitting up abruptly and forcing all of the senior’s attention on him.

“What?” the older male asked, startled by the sudden change in the younger man.

“Will…will you…be my boyfriend?”

When Sunggyu arrived home not long after, he was relieved to find that the brother’s didn’t leave yet. He finally received the message he was waiting for a few minutes ago. Dongwoo promised to let him know whenever the Nam’s would finally leave. He could see Myungsoo saying goodbye to the girls swamping him just a few feet away from the porch. The two youngest, Choonyei and Jinho were crying the loudest. Yeunja and Haneul were shedding quite a few tears as well.

In the short time they took residence in the house next door, they become far too integrated into the lives of the Kim siblings. Much more than any one of them could have imagined. Much more than Sunggyu could have ever imagined.

“Myungsoo!” Sunggyu called, successfully gaining his attention.

“Ah, I thought I wasn’t going to see you,” he said, relief all over his features.

“I can’t believe you guys really are leaving… Stay with us, I’ll be your only brother,” Sunggyu joked.

The girls moved away to let them say their goodbyes in peace. While the younger girls grew very attached to him, it was obvious to them all that Sunggyu was Myungsoo’s favorite Kim sibling.

Myungsoo smiled his cute dimpled smile, “I have to take care of Woohyun.”

The older male made a face that made the sophomore laugh quietly. “I’m gonna miss you,” Sunggyu finally said, his voice tinged with sadness.

“Me too…” Sunggyu hesitated to make a move but it was taken out of his hands as Myungsoo moved forward and hugged him.

The senior found himself shedding tears for the millionth time that week as he held the youngest brother close to him. He was no longer going to have the two neighbors who filled his afternoons with laughter, teasing, and even studying. He was no longer going to have lunch with them, go out with them, or play with them. He was no longer going to walk out into the balcony and see them doing their exercise routine every Saturday morning. They were leaving and they were going to take all those wonderful moments with them.

“We’ll keep in touch,” Myungsoo promised as he finally pulled away, wiping the tears that escaped him away.

“I’m holding you to that,” Sunggyu said as he mimicked the other’s actions, “Take good care of your brother.”

Myungsoo nodded before bowing towards Junho who was standing off to the side and returning to say goodbye to Jinho, Choonyei and Dongwoo. He also bowed to Mr. and Mrs. Kim before waving to everyone and heading towards his brother who was making sure the delivery service got the new address right. They watched in silence as they got things ready to go. Woohyun went back inside the house and was gone for a while, probably double checking that nothing got left behind before re-appearing and giving an approving nod to his brother. The porch looked lonely without the fancy sofas decorating it.

Woohyun and Myungsoo turned to the family one last time, waving their goodbyes to the Kim’s. Sunggyu saw when the eldest brother turned to him and they stared at each other for a few moments before the senior felt an arm wrap around his shoulder. He turned to Junho for a second, noting that his attention was on the man before them, before turning his attention to Woohyun who was mounting his motorcycle. Sunggyu was unable to hold the sigh that escaped him as he saw that. The helmets went on soon after and the roar of the motors powering up filled their ears.

This was their goodbye. Not a single word exchanged.

Another last round of waves was shared between the Kim’s and Nam’s before they finally pulled out of the driveway and drove away. Sunggyu watched them go, trying his best to keep the heavy feeling in his chest at bay since he couldn’t control his tears very well. He could feel a huge lump in his throat and he did all he could to keep it down.

“Are you okay?” Junho asked, wiping the stray tears away from Sunggyu’s cheeks.

He figured he would be, given enough time. Hopefully Junho would play a big part in that. For the time being, he had something he needed to do.

“I’m fine,” he said, his voice a bit thick. He cleared his throat, hoping to get rid of the feelings that lodged themselves in there.

“I have an announcement to make,” Sunggyu said aloud, his voice still sounding a bit strained due to his stuffy nose, capturing his family’s attention. He gripped Junho’s hand in his.

He remembered telling Yeunja that it was possible for people to end up with their first loves. Even if he said it to comfort her, he himself knew, somewhere in his heart, that he wouldn’t be getting that happy ending. However, no one could say to him that his ending wasn’t happy either.

But then again, no one ever said to him this was his happy ending.