It was Saturday night and Sunggyu was staring at his phone that was sitting quietly in front of him on the bed. It was a whole week since the last time he saw Woohyun and it was strange… especially since the junior practically lived with him. (It was a lie that he didn’t seen Woohyun, of course he’d see him, but only from afar. It was hard to miss when either one of the brother’s left the house. Their noisy choice of transportation let everyone in the neighborhood know when they left and when they returned.) They exchanged a few texts here and there but something changed. At least it felt that way.

Woohyun stopped by Wednesday while he was out to leave the green mushroom he won for him at the festival and gave Yeunja her stuffed toy as well. It was currently sitting on the shelf that contained all his books and mangas, staring back at him. The sun may have broken through the clouds a few times the day before, but it returned to the same gray that became the norm for the week. It didn’t rain since Thursday but it was still very humid and hot.

He couldn’t stop thinking about what happened with Woohyun. He’d forget the incident for a while but then his brain would bring it back to the forefront of his mind and he’d sigh in agitation. Why was it so complicated? There were times when he wished everything would just go away and disappear. He wished the Nam’s never moved in, that Junho never returned, that he never ever held such feelings for anyone… but it was no longer like that. His sister Haneul said it once, “One does not control the matters of the heart.” How right she was.

He remembered the conversation with Haneul and Yeunja the day before. They noticed his reserved attitude and how distracted he was recently. It’s like he wasn’t all there most of the time. It was his older sister, Haneul, that finally decided to ask about it after dinner. She seemed a little reluctant to pry but when she heard the heavy sigh her younger brother released her gaze softened.

“Junho is the clear choice here, isn’t he?” he asked her with no real precursor.

She understood immediately what he was talking about, “Is he?” she countered.

“Isn’t he…,” it was a statement.

“I believe this is the first time I’ve actually seen your head up in the clouds.”

“It’s a little hard to keep both feet on the ground right now.”

There was a moment of silence before Haneul spoke again.

“I think—” there was a knock on the door and both siblings diverted their attention.

“Can I come in?” it was Yeunja’s muffled voice that wafted through the closed door.

“Yeah.”

She opened the door and paused when she saw her two older siblings sitting on the bed facing each other with slightly grim expressions on their faces.

“Is this a good time…?” she asked.

“What Yeunja?” Sunggyu asked exasperatedly.

“I just wanted to see how you were doing. You haven’t been eating much lately…” she trailed off.

“Get in line,” Haneul stated.

“Fine, but I’m waiting in here,” she said as she pulled the chair from Sunggyu’s desk and placed it next to the door before sitting down and leaning back. Haneul gave her a last glare before turning to Sunggyu again.

“I think, the advice you want to hear is not to feel it out with your heart, because obviously that’s not getting you anywhere. You’re a sensible kid, you’ve always been better at rationalizing than going with your gut instinct. So tell me,” she said as she searched his eyes, “do you want to take a risk?”

“...Does it…hurt…?” To get your heart broken…?

“Yes,” Yeunja answered, gaining their attention, “it hurts a lot.”

“But even if you make the ‘correct’ choice…everything changes in time. There will come a time when you will get hurt despite everything you do. You may avoid it now, but it will come eventually,” Haneul said, “Besides, has Woohyun done anything or said anything that could cause this much doubt in your mind?”

“A first love is always special, right?” Yeunja asked Haneul, a small smile on her lips.

The older sister smiled, her features softening as she remembered fond memories, “Right....,” before turning to Sunggyu, “but you have someone who told you his feelings up front. If your feelings have changed or even if they haven’t, then I think that would be your answer right there.”

They have changed. He couldn’t deny it, and as he was sitting next to Junho for their third date, he could feel his heart fluttering happily. Maybe he was making a mountain out of a molehill but he wondered how it was so easy for others to analyze what he himself couldn’t so easily. He always thought it would be easy to make the right choice. Why was it so hard once he was in the eye of the storm? He decided to distract himself instead. He was sure things would fall into place for him…eventually.

“Why don’t you want to tell me where you’re taking me?” he asked with a slight pout.

“I said it was a surprise.”

“Is that what they call kidnapping nowadays?”

Junho laughed, “I’m sure you’ll like it.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, I’m willing to bet everything I am.”

“Hmm,” Sunggyu hummed in thought, wondering where it could be.

Something dawned on him and he tried not to get his hopes up. He didn’t want to get disappointed if it turned out to be something completely different than what he was thinking at the moment. There was quite a bit of traffic and his heart fluttered the moment he saw the name of the venue. There was no way.

“Surprise,” Junho said when he saw Sunggyu perk up in his seat.

“No way,” Sunggyu said, half in disbelief and half in excitement, “How did you get them? When the tickets came out Dongwoo and I couldn’t get through! And they sold out so fast.”

“Yeah… I had a lot of help actually. I owe the team a huge favor.”

Sunggyu couldn’t help but laugh, “The whole team?”

“Yeah. It was a nightmare.”

“I’ll have to thank them too then. Did they all really leave already?”

“Yeah they did, but you can start with thanking me,” the moment the traffic came to a halt he turned to look at the senior and playfully wiggled his brows.

The copper haired male rolled his eyes in amusement, “Thank you, oh great one.”

The venue was medium sized, Sunggyu noticed. It wasn’t too huge. There was a standing area about the size of two basketball courts. It was about halfway full already with a line still trickling in from the outside. They were about an hour or so early but it was great timing. They weren’t incredibly close to the stage but they weren’t too far either. The senior looked around briefly. There weren’t any windows as far as he could tell and there was a raised platform towards the back with a few tables and chairs for the bar. There was a steady and low hum from the crowd gathered there already.

“Is this okay? Do you want to get closer?” Junho asked the male, leaning in close to keep the conversation somewhat private.

They could hear exactly what everyone else around them was talking about.

“It’s fine,” he said, “I just hope they hurry it up. I wasn’t made for standing.”

They continued their small chat, occasionally commenting on some things they heard from the people surrounding them or simply going off on a tangent about random things. They did begin to notice that their personal space kept growing smaller and smaller. They were standing a few inches away from each other at first and now they were somehow pressed shoulder to shoulder. They could see the big crowd that formed behind them.

“I’m tired, carry me,” Sunggyu whined a few minutes after the supposed start time. They were standing for an eternity and the show was running late on top of it.

“Why are these shows always late? Why can’t we have seats? Why isn’t it a seated venue? This is ridiculous,” the senior continued to whine and Junho could only laugh quietly by his side. He’s never exactly seen Sunggyu complain so openly before. He must have been really annoyed.

He wrapped an arm around the copper haired male’s shoulders, bringing him in to lean against him in order to comfort him a bit, but it was all forgotten as the lights went out, prompting the crowd to yell in anticipation. There was pushing, a lot of it, and if they felt like they were tightly packed before, the crowd from behind them proved them wrong as they kept trying to get closer to the stage. It was a feat to try and remain as static as possible but he found himself apologizing to the people in front of him often before the crowd finally settled down, the intro instrumental ending and the tune of a new song stringing along seamlessly, prompting more cheers from the crowd.

“Are you okay?” Junho asked over the loud music and the cheering crowd.

“I’m fine!” Sunggyu yelled, a big smile on his lips before turning his attention towards the band that he admired for a very long time.

It wasn’t the first time he was seeing them live, but the last time he did was about two years ago, a few weeks after Haneul’s high school graduation. There weren’t many concerts in Jeonju. They usually went to bigger cities like Deagu, Gwangju or Seoul and since Haneul was old enough to go by herself, she took him along to a concert in Busan.

The first songs got the crowd yelling and throwing their hands up, some even attempted to jump along in the cramped spaces. Between the small breaks of the loud atmosphere, the two managed to communicate, indicating which songs were their favorites and which ones they knew by heart. The crowd reacted favorably to all the songs that were released as singles, and they gave the loudest cheers for the most recent one.

There was one song that brought out Junho’s boldness. They were shoulder to shoulder throughout the concert so far but as soon as the first lines of the song washed over them in pulsing vibrations, the junior bumped his shoulder to get his attention. He glanced at the male questioningly before Junho grabbed the back of his hand.

A little shy, but we’re already drunk on each other
We leave everything in this curious attraction
It stripped the world of its values one by one

This song…, Sunggyu thought and couldn’t help the smile that overtook his lips as he sang along to the words, remembering them all in a rush. Junho was soundlessly dedicating this song to him. The chorus that was in English was sung loudly by the crowd. It was a sweet song, one that went from calmly melodic to heavy riffs the next second but it still held that haunting serenity that they were known for. The senior couldn’t help but close his eyes to take in the music and the person grasping his hand, hoping the image would etch itself into his memories and remain there for as long as possible. He felt the hand shift in his, Junho’s fingers seeking to find themselves between Sunggyu’s.

Let’s not change the world
But make another one
Just for you and me

Sunggyu’s chest swelled with emotions and he gripped the hand tighter in his own but he didn’t dare turn to look at the other. He could feel his heart filling more and more and the doubts were starting to be pushed aside.

By the time they arrived to Sunggyu’s house it was close to eleven. The rain started up again sometime when they were in the venue and they decided to wait out the traffic before heading home. They talked excitedly about the concert and the songs and how amazing Kim Jongwan sounded live. They talked about how the small venue shook with how loudly the crowd sang along to the songs.

And now they stood outside on Sunggyu’s porch, the rain drowning out the usual sounds of the crickets and cicadas that played an endless tune for the night. It was silenced and overtaken by the fall of the rain.

“It was fun, thank you. I don’t know what I could do to thank you for this.”

“You don’t have to do anything. I’m happy you liked it,” Junho said, giving him his handsome eye-smile.

It happened instinctively; Sunggyu leaned in to give him a small kiss on the cheek because he felt the urge to do so. Junho was really cute and adorable. He wasn’t expecting to have the junior’s large hands cupping his face soon after.

“Sunggyu…can I…?”

It was déjà vu all over again but only this time Sunggyu wasn’t pulling away, he was no longer panicking. He closed his eyes and allowed what he was undeniably delaying for so long to finally happen (all thanks to his crazy best friend). Damp lips met his and warmth surged through him, rushing from the base of his skull to the tips of his fingers and down his spine. The kiss Dongwoo stole from him was nothing, completely meaningless and in no way prepared him for it. It was only a gentle press of the lips but it was enough. It was enough to have his skin giving way to goosebumps. It was true when his sisters said that everything else just faded into the background, but his heartbeat resounded loudly in his ears. They pulled apart slowly and they met gazes briefly. The kiss wasn’t rushed and if anything, it made the feelings Sunggyu had been harboring for nearly a month in his heart solidify.

He barely had time to register his emotions when he heard a loud thud over the steady rain, as if something hard fell on the porch. He turned quickly, his eyes wide and searching towards the Nam’s. There was no one in sight. Sunggyu let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“What is it?” Junho asked, his voice low as he too turned to survey the area.

“Nothing… I thought I heard something…”

The junior smiled at him, “You know, it’s true what they say.”

“About what?” he asked, deciding to turn his full attention to the younger male in front of him.

“Third time‘s the charm.”

Sunggyu blushed and resisted the urge to roll his eyes, shoving the other away playfully instead. But Junho took that hand and leaned forward again, pressing against the other’s lips, catching Sunggyu off guard, setting the senior’s senses off yet again.

They parted again and Junho spoke softly, “You should go inside. I don’t want you catching a cold because of a little rain.”

“…Right…,” Sunggyu unlocked the door with a bit of difficulty before turning slightly to face Junho, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Fate was working a lot faster than he could have imagined. But it wasn’t done with him yet.