Chapter Twenty-Six

Updated on 2nd of December 2013.

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"I've been waiting, you know?" Kyungsoo said through the cup and she was just gazing at anywhere but him even though he was right opposite her through the window. "Hae Lynn," He spoke up louder and she blinked a few times rapidly, coming back to her senses as she lifted her chin to look at Kyungsoo with an apologetic look. "O-Oh?"

"What's wrong?" He asked - trying to hide the fact that he was worried but considering she didn't even notice, he didn't need to try hard.

"Nothing..." She mumbled softly and he eyed her weirdly.

She's been acting a bit weird ever since they got together and he feels... sad? Sad wasn't the right word to exactly describe his feeling but the feeling was a bit off now. What was causing her to act this way? "I know there's something." He snapped at her unintentionally and she sighed softly as she didn't know what to do. Minhyuk was her close friend for a long time and for him to just confess and kiss her like that - it caught her offguard. Especially now when she's with Kyungsoo, she can't help but feel guilty that she didn't get to accept his heart. The hurt and pain she got to witness in his eyes would simply tear her apart each time she met gazes with him. She felt horrible.

"Tell me." A voice spoke up behind her and she looked over her shoulder only to see Kyungsoo standing behind her. When she was left in a daze sitting on her table with her hands holding onto the cup loosely, he took the opportunity to walk over immediately and he went straight towards her bedroom the moment he entered her house. She closed her window and got off her table as she stood there while Kyungsoo stood in front of her, reaching for one of her hand to take it in his gently.

"I really hate it when I don't know something that relates to you." He grumbled softly and she smiled - at least.

"It's just..."

"Minhyuk." Kyungsoo finished her sentence and she lifted her chin with her eyes wide open. "H-How did you...?"

"He likes you too, Hae Lynn. I know." He nodded once and she furrowed her eyebrows. "How?"

"The way he looks at you... is the same way I look at you."

She gazed down to the floor with a soft 'Oh...' as she held onto his hand tight, giving it a light squeeze. "I don't know what to do, Kyungsoo. I feel so guilty."

Biting his lower lip, he sighed, pulling her in for a hug as he wrapped his arms around her to trap her in his warm embrace. He knew he had to do something about Minhyuk.

“Come here!” She chimed but he kept running away from her. “Stay away from my face!” He cupped is own cheeks as he ran away from her. “It’s just a little face painting!” She huffed as she stopped chasing after him. After a while, he suggested that he would paint with her and man, he was wrong for suggesting it but at least, she was feeling much better. She scrunched her nose up a little before she sat back down on the chair, locking her eyes at her empty canvas. Kyungsoo spun around to see his girlfriend sulking in front of the canvas and he felt a little, just a little bit guilty. “Hey,” He breathed out as he walked towards her. “Go away.” She waved a brush at him but he didn’t stop making his way towards her.

“Describe your grandmother with one word.” Kyungsoo asked softly as he stared at her - hoping she would give up on painting his face and he smiled a little when she put the paint brush down. After a moment of silence he lifted his head up to see Hae Lynn with a finger on her lips as she thought hard. Instead of barking at her, he decided to take note of how she looked like. The way her eyes focused on a certain thing on the table but there was nothing there, seemed so interesting. She was thinking of the perfect word to describe her grandmother but nothing came to mind.

The moment Kyungsoo wanted to move on to the next question that was listed in the list of questions he wrote down he had in his hands, she smiled softly, causing Kyungsoo to lift his head up to notice that warm smile on her face. “Life.” She muttered softly and Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow. “Life?”

“Life.” She nodded her head once and Kyungsoo lowered the paper to hear Hae Lynn’s explanation.

“It was hard for me back then to actually live my life when my grandmother opened two arms wide open for me to hug her. From the moment I hugged her, I felt as though life was given to me and, I felt like a totally new person. There are lessons and emotions in life that are really important and sacred that I learnt all of them from my grandmother when no one else could teach me. Life lessons and troubles… my grandmother was there for me through it all. Emotions?” Hae Lynn chuckled softly and Kyungsoo’s lips tugged upwards just a little for him to notice he was smiling but Hae Lynn wasn’t paying attention.

“I’ve felt so many emotions when I’m with my grandmother.”

“Like?” Kyungsoo blurted out and she smiled a little.

“Like how I feel scared when she threatens to leave me but at the end I would feel warm inside because I know she will never leave me. Like how I feel so free when I talk to her about anything at all or any problems that are bothering me. Like how I feel so happy when I see that smile on her face. It’s like… her smile is a curve that sets everything straight. I read that quote somewhere from a book.”

Kyungsoo found himself chuckling softly because of her honesty but she wasn’t done. “And how… I felt that one emotion that no one else gave me a chance to feel when I’m with her.”

“W-What is that?”

Hae Lynn lifted her chin to smile at Kyungsoo. That made his heart skip a beat without him realizing it. “Love.” She gazed down to her fingers as she played with them. Kyungsoo followed her gaze only to lock his eyes on her fingers that suddenly seem to appealing for him to hold, but of course, he was still sane and he wouldn’t hold her hand suddenly even though they just got together. “She was the only woman that made me felt loved. She made me feel like I’m worth it and I’m not a waste of space in this planet and… it just means a lot to me.”

“I never want to lose her.” Hae Lynn shook her head as she looked at Kyungsoo. From there the two of them had a staring contest. Kyungsoo couldn’t blink nor could he tear his gaze away from her. There was this certain look in her eyes or… sparkle that drawn him in and he couldn’t find a way out. Hae Lynn found this blank look on his face amusing which leads to why she chuckled a little. She waved a hand in front of his face, causing him to blink and bring him back to reality.

“Next question?” She asked softly and Kyungsoo cleared his throat. “Sit further away from me, you’re invading my personal space.”

She raised two hands in front of her chest before she pulled her chair until she was an arm’s length away from him. “Happy?” She laughed and Kyungsoo lifted the paper up to block her from looking at his face. I don’t feel happy. I… want you close again. Kyungsoo shook his head and sighed as he was thinking hard but he couldn’t help but gasp when Hae Lynn snatched the paper away from him. “What the heck?!” Kyungsoo raised his voice but Hae Lynn simply laughed at his outburst, this was more hilarious than any sitcom she’s ever watched. Watching him act this way definitely made her feel better.

“It’s my turn to ask the questions! It’s no fun because you always get to ask the questions.”

“Fine. Hit me.” Kyungsoo said monotonously and she hit his arm. “Not literally, Hae Lynn!” Kyungsoo hit her arm back playfully and she grinned. “Alright, alright. Now you.”

“What me?”

“Yes, you.”

“What’s the question?”

“Describe your mother with one word.”

Kyungsoo leaned back on his chair as he took a moment. He leaned closer to say, “Bodyguard.” 

"Sounds reasonable." She commented and he snorted, "It is reasonable."

She laughed softly and she wanted to read the next question but this time he snatched the paper from her to grin at her. "Describe me with one word." He asked - no, he demanded actually. He wanted to know as he put the list on the bed as she pouted a little as she thought for a moment. "Crazy?"

His mouth gawked as he was this close to smacking her arm but she chuckled before she said, "Perfection."

"That's not fair." He protested as he stared at her with a small frown. "Why?" It was her turn to frown.

"You stole the word I was going to use to describe you." He smiled at her when her cheeks blushed. He definitely loved using small compliments on her - he loved the feeling after making her feel this way and she too, loved hearing every single compliments he had up his sleeves.

A few days past and things were going fine, except the only problem bugging Hae Lynn was Minhyuk. Now whenever she saw him, he would easily escape or even avoid her so the wouldn't cross paths. She tried not to let it bother her but she failed miserably and Kyungsoo couldn't stand to see her this way. He was still thinking of something to do but he came up with a simple action : talking to Minhyuk about this.

“Grandma, wake up.” Hae Lynn nudged her grandmother’s arm as she kneeled down by her grandmother’s bed. A warm smile spread on her lips as she noticed how calm her grandmother was when she was asleep – was she always this calm? She would want to watch her grandmother sleep more often. It somehow made her gain some conscious looking at how her grandmother was at peace. A hand placed on her grandmother’s cheek as she tried to wake her up again with louder calls this time. “Grandma… Wake up.”

Her head tilted sideways a little as she moved her hand away from her cheek as she moved closer towards her grandmother on the bed. Hae Lynn was just checking on her grandmother before she left for school like how she would always do. Her brows furrowed as she shook her grandmother slightly with a hand on her grandmother’s arm, “Grandma, stop pretending.”

A deep gut in Hae Lynn was twisted when it snapped through her like a twig. N-No, it can’t be.

Even if she tried to stop, she couldn’t stop the overwhelming emotions flooding through her at the moment. Water filled Hae Lynn’s eyes as her shaky hands gripped onto the elder’s shoulder lying down on the bed. With all Hae Lynn’s strength, she gripped onto it tight as she shook gently, allowing a teardrop to fall onto her grandmother’s hands crossed on her stomach.

“G-Grandma. I said stop pretending.”

The younger girl’s breathing pace increased as she took in fast and sharp breaths, not being able to control her emotions as they took over her quick. Her lips quivered as she tried to blink the tears away but it was hopeless. It felt like it was so hard for her to breathe – nothing made sense, nothing was right. Hae Lynn pressed her lips together as the tears streamed down her face – her loved one couldn’t be gone. She vigorously shook her grandmother’s lifeless body in desperation. “It’s not funny! Stop pretending!”

As if she was talking to herself, not a single inch was moved by her grandmother and that’s when it gave a huge impact on Hae Lynn. Hae Lynn inhaled and exhaled deeply as her insides urged her to run over for help but a part of her heart was telling her that her grandmother would wake up – she would. That small part in her heart was enough to push her to go on.

Hae Lynn gripped onto her grandmother’s hands even though her own hands were moist from her tears. “You said you’ll be fine! Wake up!” Hae Lynn’s voice echoed in the room as that was the only thing that could be heard. Hae Lynn pushed her grandmother’s hands away and placed a hand on her grandmother’s chest. It stayed there as she didn’t feel a heartbeat. There was no pace, no beat… no life.

The lost girl fell to her knees by her grandmother’s bed as she covered her face with two of her hands. It wasn’t even for a few seconds that she could mourn over her grandmother’s death – she wanted confirmation or there has to be something that could bring her grandmother back – that was the only thing in her mind. She shot up from the floor and sloppily made down the stairs as she flung the door open.

She quickly and carelessly dashed towards the Do’s house as she knocked on the door hard and quick. “Mrs. Do!”

The door opened a few hard knocks later only to reveal a very irritated Kyungsoo. “Couldn’t you wai- Hae Lynn…”

“Where’s your mom?” Hae Lynn blurted out quick with the tears streaming down.

Confusion took over him as he stared at her blankly – not used to the sight he was seeing. “Hae Lynn…”

“Where’s your mom?!” Hae Lynn raised her voice this time – not because she was irritated, because she was hurt by the fact that she had to come here for confirmation. She didn’t have her own family members to turn to but she had to go to the nearest people she knew close to her – neighbours.

“Hae Lynn, I’m her-“ She spun around when she heard Mrs. Do’s voice that came from behind her. Mrs. Do immediately dropped the bag of groceries when she saw the state Hae Lynn was in. “Hae Lynn…” Mrs. Do croaked out softly as she approached Hae Lynn slowly.

“W-What happened?”

“G-Grandma… She… She's not breathing.” Her body was shaking as she tried to speak further but her mind wouldn’t let her. She tried to form a perfect sentence to make sure they understood what she was saying but nothing was working. Her heart felt like it was ripped into pieces – unable to feel a thing anymore other than pain and hurt. Mrs. Do quickly embraced Hae Lynn into her arms and over Hae Lynn’s shoulder, she signaled Kyungsoo to get her husband to go over to Hae Lynn’s house to check. She had also signaled him to call the ambulance after that – which was the right thing to do.

As Kyungsoo had the phone by his ear and his father out of the house to check, he stared at the girl who was crying helplessly in his mother’s arms. He pressed his lips together as he stared at the pitiful sight and gained conscious by speaking to the person in line. A few minutes later he put the phone down but his eyes were still set on the girl crying her heart out. His lips parted when she clung onto his mother’s arm tight and instantly he rushed towards her side, prying her away from his mother to wrap his arms around her securely. Even though he wasn’t sure if it was appropriate, his heart assured him it was definitely the right thing to do.

Almost immediately he felt her cheek pressed onto his chest and her arms clung onto his body tight as she cried. Kyungsoo looked at his mother and gave a nod twice, indicating he agreed that he would take care of her while his parents were to deal with everything that had to do with Hae Lynn’s grandmother’s death.

“Shh… Your grandmother wouldn’t want to see you in this state.” Kyungsoo her back as she clutched onto his shirt tighter, not letting her sobs fade away when everything was crashing down on her. Trembling, they remained in that position as he allowed her to cry in his arms. He rested his chin on her head after giving her a kiss on her head, even though he knew that wouldn't help.

Five hours have passed and Hae Lynn sat down on the bed with Kyungsoo by her side in his room as Mrs. Do said Hae Lynn shouldn't be there and she couldn't. No matter how hard she would try to even go over, Kyungsoo made sure she would stay put and after hours of trying, she gave up and decided to lifelessly stay put as she just sat there as if she was programmed to.

"D-Do you want to eat anything? It's 2.00p.m., Hae Lynn. You skipped lunch."

She remained quiet, blinking slowly as she stared off into space. Everything was just going downhill from when she got together with Kyungsoo. It's not that she was blaming anyone - God no. And she wasn't blaming Kyungsoo either. She just didn't have the heart to even do anything when the only family member she has left is gone to leave her to be alone in this cruel world. Sure she had Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo's parents who are more than just willing to take her in to take care of her but she wants a place where she can call her own, personal 'home' without feeling like she's taking an advantage of other people's lives.

"You have to eat, Hae Lynn."

"So do you." She replied back monotonously as she avoided his gaze. He gulped as she was right - he didn't eat either. How could he eat when she's in this state? "H-Hae Lynn..."

"Just leave me alone." With that, she let her back fall on the bed as she curled up in a fetal - she just wanted to escape the cold reality for a moment. Kyungsoo sighed as he stood up by the bed. "At least sleep in a proper position. You're going to hurt your back if yo-" His voice just trailled off when she rolled over and shifted on the bed until she lied down with her back facing him. Letting out a heavy sigh, he said, "I'm coming back with some food and you better eat it." With that, he left her room with a slightly dejected heart but he couldn't blame her.

He wouldn't know how it feels like to lose all his family members considering he's only lost one.

Whereas... she lost all her family members including the last one she had - her grandmother. 

Kyungsoo walked down the stairs only to see his mother in tears as his father tried to comfort her in the living room. When his father took note of his son standing by the stairs, he mouthed the words to his son, "Where's Hae Lynn?"

He pointed at up, silently meaning she's upstairs in her room.

"What is she doing?"

"Sleeping."

His father gave a faint nod as he returned to comfort his wife. Kyungsoo couldn't stand it that he fished out his phone and went back into the kitchen to call a few people. He knew that he himself couldn't possibly make things better and he had to find a way to make things right. Even if it includes having the people he doesn't like around him.