Chapter Sixteen

Updated on 20th of November 2013.

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"Come in." With the reply she got from the boy inside the room, she twisted the door knob open to enter his room. She closed the door behind her and his head snapped back to look at her over his shoulder. She froze and raised two hands up in the air while holding onto her books. "I didn't bring anything that could damage the things in your room." She announced first and he nearly laughed but he simply shook his head - she was being really careful and it was simply hilarious. "Here." He used his foot to lightly kick the leg of the chair he placed beside him by this study table. With a nod, she walked towards the chair and sat on it while she set her things on his table on the space he provided for her which was just enough for two of her workbooks, a notebook and a pencil.

"Shall we start?" She asked with a grin and he groaned inwardly - how is someone so cheerful when it comes to Math? If Math was person, he would beat it to a pulp by now. With a slight nod of his head, she flipped open her notebook filled with equations and she signalled him to take out a piece of paper, he did as he was bid. "What's the piece of paper for?"

"You're going to write down the correct equations for the mistakes I spot from your book."

"What book?"

"Shh," She placed a finger on her lips and she simply reached over for his own personal workbook. "Wait, don't-!" Before he could snatch the workbook away from her hands, she swiftly turned her body to flip it open just in time to look through his workings and his mistakes - they were the common mistakes anyone would make, why was he so panicky about it? "Hmm..." She hummed quietly, flipping through each page and he gave up on trying to take it back - she probably thinks I'm an idiot now.

"Your mistakes are common, Kyungsoo."

His head snapped at her with an eyebrow raised, surprise took over now, "What?"

She nodded once and turned to face him as she placed his workbook on the table. "Your mistakes are the same mistakes Minhyuk and Sehun would make."

Now he let his other side grab ahold of him - Minhyuk and Sehun? "How many people do you tutor?"

"Just enough to know that your mistakes are the same as a few others." She answered cheekily, unintentionally showing her eye smile that he's never seen up close before. He was left in a daze as she tucked strands of her hair behind her ear before she began to explain why his mistakes were common or why he would even make such mistake that became usual for people to make. It was as if she was talking to a wall when he just stared at her, both in awe and shock. Shock because he never knew that she was this smart to the extend where she could tutor people other than him and in awe that she just looked... like how she looked now - it was useless trying to explain.

"Understand?" She asked as she lifted her chin to look at a very distracted Kyungsoo who stared at her. She blinked at him twice and then rested an elbow on the table with her head at her palm to smile at him playfully. "Are you even listening?"

"E-Explain again." He blurted out confusedly - trying to hide the fact that he wasn't paying attention but she had already sensed that he wasn't. Not wanting to waste anymore time that she could, she poked his forehead with the end of the pencil before she scooted closer with their arms lightly pressed against each other before she began explaining again. Now Kyungsoo had a harder time trying to focus - why is she so oblivious to everything? 

"This is the fifth time I'm explaining to you, how can you not get it?" Hae Lynn tapped the pencil on the table after each word she spoke, totally in sync with the way she talked and he sighed. It's not like he didn't want to concentrate - she was making it hard for him to do so! "How about I do a few sets of questions and if I don't get it, I'll ask you." Seems pretty reasonable, so Hae Lynn agreed to it with a nod as she folded her arms on the table with her head staring at the page.

"C-Can you not look? You're bothering me." He snapped at her but she simply yawned, uninterested with his request because the tiredness in her was taking over slowly. "Just do your work, I'm looking at the page not your face so..." She yawned again after that, waving a hand at him to urge him to start doing the sets. He sighed inwardly but gripped onto the pencil as he let out a soft huff as he began to read the first question.

"Look, I did a whole set without asking you any-" His voice trailled off when his eyes was greeted with a sleeping Hae Lynn. "Well would you look at that..." He croaked out softly, putting his pencil down and his mind was completely off the whole set of forty Math questions he did without asking her for help - he felt smart... until she checks it, that is. Sighing quietly, he wasn't sure if he should do it but he went with his gut, putting force into his arm to extend it until his hand was right beside her head. He gently tucked strands of her hair behind her ear, making her face come clearer to his view, putting a small smile on his face while he was at it.

He mirrored her actions by folding his arms on the table and resting his chin on it as he stared at her. Thank God she was in a deep sleep or else she would practically think he's a creep for staring at her like this but no one could actually blame Kyungsoo, any guy would be staring at her if they were in his position but the only thing that was mindbottling was why would a guy like Kyungsoo stare at her?

Then again, even the boy himself doesn't know - so practically no one knows.

"Why am I..." He breathed out quietly, letting his blinking get slower as he stared at her. "Finding you so interesting...?"

And with that, it was the only sentence he mumbled softly before he let his eyes shut completely.

"What are you doing?" Kyungsoo asked Hae Lynn who was currently packing up her things and putting it into her bag. The two just got back from school an hour ago and currently, it was her turn to get tutored by Kyungsoo with English. "Oh..." She mumbled meekly turning around as she placed her bag by the end of her bed. "I'm going back home tomorrow so..." His eyes widened as he stared at her weirdly, "Your grandmother is coming home?"

With a cheerful nod, Hae Lynn nodded twice happily with a smile evident on her face. However, that smile only lasted for a few seconds when it faded away, sparking up the curiosity in Kyungsoo as he stepped into her room, closing the door behind him. "What's with that face?" She sighed as she sat down on the bed, fliddling with her fingers as he invited himself to take the space beside her. "Spit it out."

She shrugged, looking down to her feet. "I guess I'll just miss all of this. The family warmth and love." He narrowed his eyes at her, what was she talking about? "What do you mean?"

"I mean... the love and warmth from your parents. It's something so admirable and it's something that I would really want for myself. It's not everyday that I get to be this close to receive love from parents like yours, Kyungsoo."

“Look, I just don’t get why you’re so co-“

“I’m jealous of you, you know?” she blurted out and his eyes widened. “W-What?” he croaked out and she scoffed bitterly. She pressed her lips together when she felt a tight grip around her heart instantly. If it was possible, she would want to just fall into a deep sleep and escape the world. “M-Me?” he asked softly and she nodded her head without a smile on her face. “I’m jealous that you have...” she can’t even go on as she didn’t want to admit all of this but she just wanted to tell it all out to someone. Someone who was willing to listen and she knew he was the right person to let it all out to.

“...such a loving family.” She whispered and he furrowed his eyebrows. “Oh yeah? My parents are overprotective and they care way too much.” He scoffed and she shook her head as she felt like another stab was made in her heart. “I wish I had that much love, you know?” she asked and he could sense the ultimate pain and heartaches that she might have gone through even before she met him. “W-What do you mean by that?” he managed to ask and she looked up to the sky as she began to rock forward and backward slowly.

This was one of her habits where if she was going to express or explain her feeling as deep as this, these are the actions that she would do so she wouldn’t cry but it would always end up otherwise. Doing this would just slow down the process. “I didn’t have anyone to love me with two open arms. I didn’t have a mother who could just come to me and hug me tight. Letting me know she loves me so much she doesn’t want me to leave her. I didn’t have a father who could give me advice on anything in life. I...” she took in a deep breath before she whispered, “...don’t get to experience the love you get to have.”

He suddenly felt guilty. He didn’t know something that he found a burden to him would mean so much to another person. Just like that, he began to think what would happen if his parents were gone and it made him shudder as even though his parents were overprotective and whatnot, he still loved them very much. “But I got adopted, by a wonderful man.” She said in a shaky voice and he could tell she was going to cry anytime soon. “His wife hated me though.” She chuckled as she pressed her lips together along with furrowing her eyebrows so she wouldn’t cry.

“She would sometimes tell me to go back to my mother instead of her but," she took in a deep breath before she continued, "...if only she knew that I didn’t have anyone to turn to other than her as my mother. I did everything.” She shook her head as she could remember obligating to every single rule her mother made. Even if they were ridiculous, she would do it just for the sake of getting a mother’s love but it would be useless as her mother would show no such emotions. “I followed every single rule she made and it would always be wrong. It would never be good enough for her.” She sighed softly before she finally let a tear run down her cheek.

The moment the tear ran down, she quickly wiped it off as she kept on going. She’s been holding this in for too long and he could see her struggling. “Sometimes she would tell me that I should just kill myself because being her daughter is a burden. She said that if it wasn’t for her husband for adopting me, she would’ve thrown me out of the house a long time ago. Everything always seemed to be my fault. Nothing would be right as long as I am in the picture.” She shook her head as her mother’s voice shouting at her rang at the back of her head. Not her biological mother, the woman who was forced to adopt her. She sniffed as she let out a shaky breath. “She told me to get lost and run away.” Hae Lynn breathed out and Kyungsoo felt like his heart just clenched.

“And so I did. I ran to my grandmother in Seoul.”

She clicked her tongue before he scooted closer towards her to wrap his arms around her. He didn't know if this was appropriate, but it felt right. She shut her eyes tight and she tried not to cry but she couldn’t when he pushed her head until her head leaned onto his chest.

“S-Shh...” he hushed her as he was crying silently along with her. He didn’t know she was going through so much that she could easily hide it with a cracked smile. How could he not realize this earlier but just act like he was the one hurting more than she was? He felt like a major right now and he should. He her hair slowly before he pressed his lips on her forehead, letting a tear roll down his cheek to land on her head.

Shaking, she tried to put her arms around his waist. He noticed how hard she was trying and he used one hand to put them securely around his waist. "Hae Lynn..." He called her out cautiously as she pulled her hands away from him - much to his dismay. Would it be weird if he wanted to just hold her a little while longer? She hurriedly wiped her tears away before shifting on the bed so her body wouldn't be facing his. "Can we study another day?"

He looked at her pitifully, a small frown evident on his face as he had an arm extended to hold onto her shoulder but he pulled back, thinking it would be a bad idea. "Hae Lynn, you don't have to be embarrassed by this."

"S-Stop." she cut him off before he could say anything else. "I... I know it seems really pitiful but I've never really gotten this off my chest to anyone so soon before. Yet alone to someone I've only known for a month or two. Don't change the way you're going to treat me just because you know all of this." He sighed deeply and allowed her to feel that the weight on the bed decreased. And soon after, it was followed with the sound of the door opening and closing. With that, two hands covered her face as the remnants of her tears she held back flowed down her cheeks - she was not alright.

Just as she stopped crying, she sniffed a little and hit her chest a few times - "That's right... Things will go back to normal." She chanted the same line over and over again as she wanted to switch off the lights but she stopped when a paper slipped underneath the door. She crouched down with blurry eyes and picked it up. Even though she struggled, she managed to read it.

'I'm not doing this because I'm trying to be nice. I'm doing this because I want to. If you wish to allow me to do so, knock two times on the door and sit down with your back leaning against the door.'

She gulped as she stared at the paper. Blinking at the paper twice, she didn't know what she should do - there wasn't any indication of which was the obvious decision. Exhaling heavily, she sat down with her back pressed against the door and she lifted her clenched fist to knock on the door twice - softly.

Suddenly, she could hear strumming of a guitar in a perfect melody - was it...? The melody entered her ears as if it soothed the painful feeling in her heart. After a second or two of listening, her mood was lifted up bit by bit like magic - as if what she was listening to was a cure.

She held her breath when she heard a voice singing - he was singing.

"Baby don’t cry tonight, after the darkness passes,
 Baby don’t cry tonight, it’ll become as if it never happened,
 You’re not the one to disappear into foam, something you never should’ve known,
 So Baby don’t cry,"

"Cry..."

When she thought it was done, she leaned away, not listening to the last sentence he sang from the bottom of his heart,

"My love will protect you."