EDITED

A Sehun's point of view

yehet!

This is Sehun.

I'm not really sure of this, knowing that Zitao the freak – sorry bro but you really are one- and Jongdae funky hyung- and he's funky for a good reason- are writing a diary it's not reassuring at all. But well then I thought that we are leaving the duty of writing our memoirs to a Gucci maniac and well Jongdae and so I decided to try and write something. The point of view of a maknae is sure more interesting (Jongin if you are reading this, you are going to regret it. I swear, you dork).

And well where I begin? I don't have the strength to talk about the past, I don't want to go that further back so I condemn that segment to be narrated by those two while I'll concentrate on the present and the recent past. Yeah I really want to talk about the recent past! =D

oh God. I'm giggling. Gosh I'm converting in Jongin. I'm so screwed.

Anyway. Recent past? Let's go back to China!

To tell you the truth I wasn't really surprised when they told us Exo m was nominated for the most popular group. Heck, they did an amazing job in promoting in China, I was so proud of my hyungs! No matter how much I enjoy making fun and teasing them (teasing Junmyeon is priceless) I love them a lot. And well I have another reason to be happy, because in exo m there's Luhan hyung. I'm kind of aware that we are the gossip the silly hyungs like to talk about and Baekhyun enjoys a lot teasing me for the admiration I have for Luhan hyung. But who in his right mind wouldn't admire him? I was there. I was there when he arrived, his pretty face, his fragile appearance but a heart and the determination of a beast. He took care of me even though he was home sick, he pampered me even when I didn't deserved it and he taught me what means having a dream and working hard to achieve it. I never really dreamt of becoming a singer. Heck. I can't sing. Thank God I can dance and I'm handsome enough for this field so I was suitable for being an idol without dreaming of being one. But Luhan hyun dreamt of being one. Luhan hyung can sing. He auditioned to other companies before landing in Sm because he wanted to be a singer. He came to another country to achieve that. I wasn't sure of me and what was I doing till the time Luhan hyung arrived. He shared his dream with me and from that on his dream became mine. So how can I not admire him? How can I not being grateful to him?

Ah sigh. I went a little over board like every time I talk about Luhan hyung. It's because I want for people to understand. Jongin would make fun of me then I would remind him that he isn't different when it comes to Taemin sunbae. And fried chicken. But well this is another story I will talk about one day.

Anyway going back to what I was saying, when they told us, I was very happy but not surprised. What surprised me it was that we were nominated too, as Exo. We were all pleased, Junmyeon hyung smile was so wide that for a moment I was afraid it could be permanent. And Jongin was jumping and giggling like a high school girl. I kicked him. Because bro, behave! The evil couple aka Chanbaek were already debating about which Chinese dish was better. Only Kyungsoo seemed to be calm and composed, but with hyung who knew. He was a mystery only Jongin seemed to understand.

“ I don't know Sehun-a it seems to good to be real. I prefer don't talk about it” said Luhan hyung on the phone later that night. The nervousness in Luhan hyung was endearing, because he rarely showed to me this side of him. He is my hyung by 4 years, I know is hard for him to open his heart to me, a kid, because it's truth I know I'm childish and I like to be pampered rather than pampering.

I don't blame him and I know he does his best with me. So it's up to me growing up. I won't stop trying to be a good friend for you, hyung.

“Ok. But hyung I have positive feelings, believe me,I feel it”

“ ha ha since when are you so sweet?” he teased me but I knew from his tone that he was pleased by my words.

“ I'm only evil with who deserves it. Chanbaek for example!” he laughed. I could picture his face, cute wrinkles on his eyes.

“ are they so much?”

“ you don't have idea! If we are ever going to share a dorm all the twelve of us, you'll find out”

“ somehow it seems pretty scary... and Chen chen will join them for sure and Zitao too. Wow. Now it is really scary”

“Don't worry I'll protect you” I stated somehow that seemed to make him laugh harder, which was what I wanted even though it was little offending knowing that he took it entirely as a joke. I know hyung is capable of manage it by himself but hey I'm a man too.

“Thank you Sehun-a it's always refreshing talking to you” he said. And then Luhan hyung says things able to turn my knees jelly. No matter how much I try I'm always weak when it comes to hyung.

“ You are welcome” I cheekily said even though I was blushing. He laughed again because he probably knew I was embarrassed.

“Anyway when are you going to be here?”

“In a week”

“ ah, so you'll arrive the same day of the award ceremony”

“ Yes no much to time to hang out” I sighed. I didn't miss only Luhna hyung, but also the other members. Funky Chen chen, Zitao, kind Yixing, reliable Minseok and duizhang Yifan “ but manager said that we are going to be hosted in a couple of music programs the day after so we still have some time to play together”

“Wait, you in Chinese programs!! ha ha I'm looking forward to it” somehow the thought seemed to excite Luhan hyung. A shiver run down my back.

“ hyung, promise me you won't make fun of me”

“ I think you don't remember that video call after Taiwan, don't you?” he stated. Crap. I went mute as I heard him giggle.

And then there are times like this, when he is even more evil kid than me, the evil maknae.

Only Luhan hyung.

We didn't even have time to rest a bit that manger dragged us out of the hotel- already prepared with make up and outfits-to some unknown place of Beijing where the award ceremony was going to be held. We were in a van sleepy and lost, as the lights of this big city passed in front of us. As always the only one hyperactive were Chanbaek while Jongin had collapsed on Kyungsoo and Junmyeon was trying hard not to fall asleep. As for me I was too much excited.

We could meet our other half for the first time only in the back stage area. We hugged briefly and no matter how much they welcomed us with warm smiles, the nervousness was still visible.

“Sehun-a” called me Luhan hyung. He ruffled my hair making me purr like a cat. Gosh. I'm spending too much with Jongin. His stupidity it's clearly affecting me.

“ Ah now that you are so tall it's hard to do this” he commented frowning. I giggled because being taller than him for me was like the most precious price.

“I can bend my knees if it makes you feel better”

“ yahh no!” he hit me in the arm. I giggled more.

“ oh the son is rebelling to his mother” Baekhyun commented with a fake gasp.

I was going to talk back when Luhan hyung said “ Kyungsoo-a do you remember that time when...”

Baekhyun paled “no no hyung! You can ask me everything and I'll do it” he said nearly freaking out eyeing from side to side trying to check if Kyugsoo had heard Luhan calling him. Apparently not.

“ Everything?”

“Everything!”

“I have so many good dongsaengs” Luhan hyung concluded with a smile.

And you ask me why I admire this man?

After some chats the managers came to take us towards our seats. Some performances where really good and I knew our vocal line was really impressed by a guy with glasses which name I gave up to pronounce. The ceremony was developing but still they didn't call our name or the name of exo m. We were starting to get even more nervous. I don't' even recall how our performance but manager seemed satisfied and the fans were screaming so I guess we did ok. We went back to our seats.

When I thought they were never going to call us and that it was all a bad joke planned to make fool of us I heard the mc naming our name. Then the crowd cheered and in a blink of the eye were all saying “ congratulations” and manager was making all of us stand and go towards the stage. It was then that I realized we somehow won something. I asked to Zitao what was the award about and he told it was “ best dressed award”. Wow. Cool. It wasn't like it was entirely our effort, because our clothes were handled by the company and by the staff but well ok, an award was always an award and we were all happy to receive one in China. But I knew we all hoped it wasn't going to be the only one.

The end of the award ceremony was approaching and also the moment of the truth.

And then. Like it was a dream they called “ Exo m! Gong xi gong xi”

my eyes went to found Luhan hyung's and he smiled at me brightly as he hugged me tightly. Junmyeon hugged Yifan hyung and we all congratulated our other half before they had to rush towards the stage.

I was so happy. I was so proud.

Chen Chen hyung seemed overwhelmed along with Yixing hyung and Zitao already had glossy eyes.

I couldn't help but laugh quietly aNd I clapped and cheered for them like a fan would do. And then they were all sobbing when the vcr was played in the giant screen. I had to admit even I would tear up. I could see that Luhan hyung was fighting his tears. Ha ha the xiao Lu!

Then without hesitation I grabbed my phone and I started to take photos and film.

“ hey what are you doing” eyed me suspiciously Jongin.

“taking evidence. For blackmail purpose” Jongin laughed his stupid dog laugh as he highfived with me.

In the end we all ended up crying. Even us.

“ Sehun- a I'm so happy I could die” Luhan hyung whispered to me later that night before falling asleep. I contemplated him from my bed because every time we met as exo I always share a room with him. Curled up in the blankets he didn't seem the cool hyung I was so used to admire but a kid leaving his dream. I smiled.

I thought about the first time I saw him, his face managed to impress me so much!

“ he's your hyung” Junmyeon warned me “ no way” I thought. Because he seemed so young and he was so pretty!

“ they took him in only for his looks” some bad trainees whispered. For a moment I thought like that too but for me it's not a bad thing, because I too was casted for my looks and were we all casted for that? “You were casted for your looks yes, but you stay here for your talent and you debut for your hard work” Junmyeon said to me when I told him I thought for me it was merely like that“ never forget that Sehun. You are talented”.

I didn't think so but I was ready to work hard like Junmyeon. And I wanted for this new kid to know that even he could do it, even if he was like me.

Then I heard him sing and my world turned upside down.

He wasn't like me. He wasn't only a pretty face. The moment I heard him sing I knew - unlike me- he was born to be a singer. From that day on I couldn't separate myself from him. I wanted to be able to stand by this awesome person and the only way to do it, was to become a singer. I tried my best to gain his friendship and Luhan hyung was nice even with a bratty kid like me. I learnt so much from him.

He showed me what resolution meant when he stayed late at night practising Korean songs and the proper pronunciation.

He show me what sacrifice meant when he worked harder after a night spent crying over home sickness.

He showed me the path to follow. He was my mentor without even pretending to be one. He was my first true friend.

How can I not admire this hyung of mine?

“ Xiao Lu. We haven't had bubble tea in a while. Let's get some bubble tea together and chat together sometime soon. I love you always”

I think really staying with Jongin is affecting me.

Since when I'm so mushy?

Of course Chanbaek made fun of me for a week.

Sigh.

I'm ending here because thinking of their teasing it makes me cringe.

Thank God Luhan hyung took it quite well “ Sehun you are so sweet! since you love hyung so much why don't you treat me to bubble tea from now on?” he said on the phone.

And they dare to say I'm the evil one!!

Ohorat!!!

Author's note: did you expect this? XD even I didn't know how was going to develop. It was supposed to be a short extract from Sehun's diary (like Zitao's one) but it turned in a prologue of a hunhan fanfic. I have to think about this possibility...I don't know, it was hard for me to try and figure Sehun out and he came out like that (too serious?) I'm not familiar with him so if he's your bias and I made a crap job, forgive me! Thanks a lot for the dear ones who left a comment! I love you all  <3

ps: don't worry in the next chapter the narrator will be Chen again ^_^