firstly, don't worry: I'm going to upload the chapters again, one after another and for the end of the week you'll have even the new one! ;) but surprise, surprise, they are going to be free from mistakes and typo errors. Kpopized voluntereed in the job of reviewing my texts! I'm so happy and thankful! so now enjoy! ^_^

ps: don't forget to comment <3

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Act. 0

Dear D

Kim Jongdae is awesome!
 

This is it.

I couldn't begin these memoirs of mine with something less meaningful. Anyway this is Kim Jongdae, the 20-year-old male and newly debuted member of EXO. What is EXO? Well, EXO is the reason I started this diary to begin with. I thought it would be cool if I documented this new segment of my life by writing my thoughts in these pages. And, no, seeing Avatar didn't inspire me to write this—absolutely not. It's not like I'm shipping myself in some unpredictable adventure. Gosh, maybe it's like that...ugh.

Anyway. Since I was elected (self-elected, but it's ok like that) the narrator of EXO’s life, let's begin with this. I don't want to bore you with a heavy reminiscence of my trainee days (even though I would gladly digress here and there about Xing Xing ge, because sharing a room with him was really something. You know, there was a time where… Ok Kim Jongdae stop now) because first, they were boring as hell—everyday dancing, singing, and Chinese lessons nonstop—and second because to tell you the truth I didn’t have too much of a training.

Sometimes this fact made me feel a little inadequate compared to the others, but then I asked myself: did I really want the same path as Junmyeon hyung? Honestly, I don't think I would be able to endure it so well like he did, so I have to accept that I was lucky and do my best: I promise I will sing my soul out for EXO.

So now, let's go!

P.S: Junmyeon hyung is awesome!
 

“Please can someone take pity and just kill me?”

“I gladly would, but I'm much tired to even move a finger.”

I knew Baekhyun too well to say he would gladly kick Minseok hyung in his leg if he could, but he was too exhausted so he just glared at him from his seat, which was in the other part of the room. It wasn't like Minseok hyung could see him and feel threatened, because he is as strong as Zitao despite being a good 10 centimeters shorter. (Gosh, I hope Minseok hyung will never read this or I'm totally screwed; you know the midget is totally sensitive about his height. Pfft). Anyway, it is always funny seeing those two bicker—they can manage to make my day with their nonsensical quarrels. It's not like they don't get along, because I know for sure that they care for each other, but somehow, you know, everyone has a pair of friends who enjoy teasing each other. Minseok and Baekhyun are like that, mostly because they are so different. Minseok hyung is clever, funny and tidy. In other words he's a neat freak with a sense of humor. He's really cool and I like him a lot, except for the times when he would discipline me. It’s because he says someone has to put sense into my head since our leader, Junmyeon, is too lenient with me—but it's not my fault; I'm biased!

On the other hand, there's Baekhyun. Baekhyun is mischievous, noisy, messy and kind. We matched perfectly from the first time we met because we were both main singers and the last to join, but I think it is mostly because we are tuned to same level of mischievousness. Minseok hyung is the eldest so together with the leaders he's is in charge of kids. He's the one who often has to put up with the result of our “explosion of positive energy,” as Baekhyun would say.

Anyway, I’m sure you would like to know why ultra energetic Baekhyun and strong Minseok were fighting. Because we had just finished our Beijing showcase, we were psychically and emotionally tired. I, too, was, but I was too flushed with the thought of all this, to really feel the tiredness. Minseok says that when I'm deep in thought I have an idiotic grin plastered on my face (that time I replied that at least I don't have wrinkles like a friend of mine, he shot me a shoe that I barely dodged, but guys, it was totally worth it! His face was priceless!), but I couldn't help but to think at the hugeness of all this. This may be changing our lives for forever. I was happy, excited but also dead scared. I'm still scared. We are in China now and I know I'm not going to come back home for a while. I'm part of EXO M and the members who I'm more attached to are part of EXO K.

Obviously, whenever my thoughts are turning a little bit darker, my best friend, aka Park Chanyeol, has to appear. It's like he has a radar or something like that—he appears at the right moment to bring back brightness. God bless Park Chanyeol. Chanyeol is my best friend. He's frighteningly tall, handsome, and has the irritating yet at the same time brilliant ability to always be in a good mood no matter what. He really has a kind heart. Oh. And a creepy smile too.

He entered the changing room like a storm. I linked arms with him immediately. Yes, nobody may suspect this but I'm totally a skinshipper and cuddler.

“Hey man!” He said in his baritone.

“Hey Yeol!”

“How are you?”

“I think I'm going to faint but I can't predict when. But now that I'm anchored to your arm at least I'm not going to plaster my face on the floor.”

He laughed hard, shaking his curly and blond new hair.

“The others?”

“As you can see, they are half asleep, half dead, or lost in whoever knows where. I think Xing Xing ge got lost again during his way to the toilets.”

Chanyeol laughed again.

“Anyway, don’t you think it's too silent? We have to lift the general mood,” he added, flashing me a toothy smile.

“I totally agree. It is too quiet here—time to mess with our little ducklings!”

The little ducklings are our three maknaes Jongin, Sehun and Zitao, but Chanyeol and I mostly mess with the previous two, because it was not funny prank someone who can’t entirely understand what you are saying. (It has nothing to do with the fact he can wushu us. Totally not!) Every little duckling has his respective mum duck of course, who in the specific are Luhan ge and Kyungsoo hyung. Jongin was sulking about his forced aegyo. I don't blame him. His aegyo was ridiculous to say the least and it was a miracle Chanyeol, Baekhyun, and I didn't roll on the floor, even though that time when the manager told Jongin he was in charge of iness in the group was funnier. I think I nearly choked on my laugh (Minseok hyung disciplined me with a kick) only to bend down at his awesomeness when the kid showed a badass y pose. The kid rocked.

Next to Jongin is Sehun who was literally glued to Lu Han ge. It must be the separation effect. As the day of our split approached, Sehun's skinship with the idol of his life (aka Luhan ge) crazily increased, which was hilarious, because we are talking about Oh Sehun, the evil kid. Baekhyun and I are beginners compared to him. I really don't know how gramps (sorry Junmyeon! It was Baek who named you like that, I swear!) is going to put up with him all by himself.

Chanyeol and I exchanged glances and without saying a word approached Sehun and his mum duck from behind and whispered into his ear.

“Sehun-a!”

Sehun jumped in surprise then sent us a killing glare. Pfft. I'm still your hyung kid!

“What?”

“Sehun-a,” reprimanded Lu Han

“What, hyungs?”

“Hunhan! Hunhan! Hunhan!” We began to chant in unison. Baekhyun laughed like a hyena from his corner.

Sehun turned crimson red. LuHan ge shook his head.

“Hunhan! Hunhan! Hunhan!”

Sehun run after us but we were too fast for him. We were lucky Wu fan ge and Junmyeon were not there or we would have been screwed. Baekhyun was rolling on his seat from laughing, we were probably really funny running like that through the tiny room. Even Zitao was laughing along with us, while Kyungsoo, Minseok and LuHan were looking at us like we were a bunch of idiots. Maybe we were but hey, it was funny!

“Hyungs, if Junnmyeon hyung knows…” started Jongin trying to be reasonable. Bad move.

“KaiLu, KaiLu, KaiLu!” started Baekhyun from behind. Beakhyun is so clever!

“Could you stop making up my name?” Asked Lu Han, annoyed. Even so, I could tell he was muffling a laugh.

“What's going on here?” interrupted Wu fan ge. Crap! Chanyeol stopped nearly immediately—the traitor—because he respected Wufan ge as much as Zitao does. (Except that Zitao is more into challenging the one he respects.) Chanyeol is an obedient kid. Behind Wu Fan ge appeared Junmyeon and Yixing.

“They were playing the idiots,” commented LuHan, who was totally enjoying our scared faces. The Xiao Lu is as mischievous as us. LuHan ge is really a challenge of a person. Don't get fooled by his pretty face. He is strong, mischievous, and really really clever. He is also the only one who dares to mess with Minseok hyung and this is enough to put him in the category of extraordinary people (and a good reason for Sehun to admire him so much). Normally he is easygoing and bubbly: a good hyung even though I don’t talk much with him. Yet. I kind of suspect that this time in EXO M will make me know him more.

“The usual,” said a voice from a corner. Minseok hyung is always so sweet.

“Jongdae-ah! Don't make your hyung worry. Now that you are going to stay here in China I can't look after you, promise you'll be good,” said Junmyeon as he threw an arm on my shoulders.

I smiled. Junmyeon hyung is not my best friend. For me he's like a brother, a mentor, and a partner.

When we arrived at SMent, Baekhyun, Zitao, and I were the last to join. Zitao, who barely spoke Korean, naturally looked for the Chinese members and among them he attached himself to Wu Fan ge, the one who seemed more like a brother figure to him. Baekhyun was always one of a kind; he is mature enough to take care of himself. He wasn't looking for a mentor, but he found a shoulder: Chanyeol. As for me, I thought I would have to fight to gain my position. I didn't know I was looking for someone until Junmyeon hyung came to me. He, along with Jongin and Yixing, is one of the most experienced and he shared his knowledge with me. I will always be grateful to Junmyeon hyung. He made me feel accepted and a part of the group. After him I could recuperate myself and be the bubbly and awesome person I am. After that, bonding with the others was easy.

“Don't worry, as his leader and roommate, I will take good care of him,” Wu Fan said ruffling my hair. I don't know Wu Fan ge too well, but despite being strict he is always polite and considerate. Chanyeol speaks really well of him, and I trust Chanyeol.

“What's going on?” Yixing ge asked in his broken Korean out of the blue, making everybody laugh. Xing xing ge is really unique. I think I never saw someone more talented and more hard-working than him. He's determinate, charismatic and dedicated, but he can also be funny. He was really kind to me despite our language barrier. Due to that we never had the chance to know each other fully but I admire him a lot. You can say he intrigues me. Maybe it’s because I'm so lacking and he is so well prepared in anything. He's a little forgetful but I find this cute. Not that I would ever say that to him; he would probably think I'm trolling him.

Together with Junmyeon, he's the only one who ever said that I'm sweet. I still don't know why he said it—he came to me and stated “Zhong da, you are sweet” then he smiled his dimpled smile and disappeared. When I asked Minseok why he would say something like that, hyung said that maybe he mistook the Korean words. See? He's always the one disciplining me!

Anyway, Chanyeol and I exchanged glances. The atmosphere was vivid like it had never been before.

I want to stop the time, I thought. I want to stop the time. Make this glorious moment to last forever, when we are all together, all excited, with the chants of our fans still in the air.

I leaned on Junmyeon hyung while the other members gathered around us.

We had barely started but I already love EXO.

Shisus. I'm getting emotional.

Anyway after that Junmyeon and Wu Fan ge told us what the manager said and after some more fooling around the manager came to guide us to our hotel rooms.

I was dead tired but I still forced my eyes open as Beijing's lights flashed in front of my eyes through the car glass.

It was a beginning.

We just moved into our dorm. As predicted, I'm sharing a room with Wu fan ge. Xing ge shares a room with Luhan and Minseok with Zitao. (I wonder how those two are going to communicate if Minseok hyung barely speaks Chinese and Zitao’s Korean is broken to say the least).

I already miss the others. I'm becoming emotional again. Sigh, but then Minseok came to call me because dinner was ready. He was kinder than usual and at the table they were all genuinely trying to make a conversation. I've never felt so grateful to LuHan and Wufan ge’s perfect Korean. Minseok smiled at me with puffy cheeks stuffed with food.

I couldn't help but smile.

Jongdae hwaiting, Jia you!