Chapter VII - I'm Sorry

❖ 

warning!! light swearing ahead.

I cracked an eye open when my alarm sounded me awake. It was way too early, but since appa had to leave soon, might as well.

Getting up groggily, I went downstairs half-asleep, and was surprised to see that Jiae wasn’t in the kitchen already making breakfast.

“Jiae?” I called out. Maybe she was hiding and trying to jump me. Ha, I’d show her. “I know you’re hiding. Come out and oppa won’t tickle you to death.”

But there was no answer. This was getting more odd.

“Jiae, oppa’s not playing now. Come out now.” Nothing. Okay, this was kinda scaring me.

I looked around the kitchen, in the cupboards, under the table, everywhere. In the living room, behind the t.v., but nothing. I checked the area under the stairs, and in each room on the first floor, but she was nowhere to be found.

The last place she’d be is her room, because she would never enter my room in the morning.

I quickly climbed the stairs and barged into her room without even knocking.

“Jiae?”

Her bed was neatly made and her room was neat, which was strange. She had never bothered to clean her room very often.

Panic quickly rose in my chest as I realized that she wasn’t anywhere in the house. I ran outside, hoping that maybe she was just chilling on the grass, but the chances of that were slim.

Of course, nothing.

, , .

I had a feeling as to where she went, and  for the first time ever, I really hope that my instincts are wrong.

When I went back into my room, planning to call Jiae,I noticed something on my nightstand. I guess I was too sleepy earlier to even look that way. There was a small, red keychain with a folded note next to it. Immediately, I could tell it was from Jiae, so I picked it up and read it.

Dear Yongguk oppa,

By now, you’ll probably have figured out that I’m not in the house, or anywhere near home for that matter.

And you probably will have figured out why as well.

I love appa too much, and it would hurt the both of us too much if anything happens to him in war, so I took his place. I have the scroll with me for proof of attendance.

I know that I should have told you because you are my brother, but if I did, I don’t think I would have been able to go through with the plan.

I hope that you will ultimately understand why I’m doing this, and also, don’t worry about me. We’ve practiced and trained together for so long, I’m sure the trainings with the generals won’t be too difficult.

I’m sorry that I won’t be able to spend your birthday with you like I had promised many times, so happy early birthday! I got you a red keychain that really reminded me of you~ I even named it Gukkie for you keke

I will miss you and appa so much, it already hurts to write this letter this far.

Also, please tell appa. I couldn’t bring myself to write a separate letter for him, because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to finish it. Tell appa that I’m sorry for taking the scroll and leaving and that I love him so much. Too much to let him go.

Promise me that you won’t call me. I know that you are very tempted to do so, but please don’t. I changed a few things on my phone to prevent anyone figuring out my real identity, so please don’t tell anyone besides appa.

Just know that I love you and appa, and that I’m terribly sorry.

Love,

Bang Jiae

now Bang Jumong

My worst nightmare has come true. My baby sister leaving us.

Uncontrollably, tears rolled down my cheeks and onto her letters, creating random blots on the paper. I clutched the letter to my chest as I wept soundlessly.

My hands shook as I tied the keychain to my phone case, reminding me of that da