---

 

 

"whatever makes you feel bad about that memory..leave it. Whatever makes you feel good.. keep it."

 

The girls went inside Sooyoung's hospital room, along with Mr. Choi and few of SM's managers. The room is big enough to accomodate all of them.

 

Silence.

 

There is a big brown couch that sits at the corner of the room, a television, a mini refrigerator and of course, a sliding door towards the restroom. The room displays comfort, something that a healing patient needs. But among all of those things, Sooyoung will never appreciate them. After all, she even don't know what's happening. She's lying on the hospital bed, wearing a simple hospital robe and attached to her slim body are all the apparatus that support her, making her alive.

 

Beep..Beep..Beep

 

There's just one audible thing that they can hear. Electrocardiograms tell two major things: that a person's heart is beating and that the person's either living or dying. The steady beeps of the heart detector gives them a spec of hope. But nonetheless, all the respirator tubes, IV cords and round electrode pads attached to Sooyoung makes her situation somehow unbearable to see. Sooyoung's dad rushed to her side and touched his daughter's arm. As expected, no response can be seen, felt or heared from the girl.

 

"Sooyoung-ah.."

 

All of them wanted to hug her but all those things attached to her make it impossible. Less than 24 hours ago, this girl is just talking to them, laughing and working with them. How time and space changed that easily.

 

After a minute or two of looking at the unconcious body lying on the hospital bed, Sooyoung's dad stood up from his seat just beside her bed and looked at all of her daughter's friends with a weak smile.

 

"Thank you so much for being with my daughter.

..but can we call this a day?"

 

Yuri, Taeyeon and Sunny immediately nod. While the rest looked at each other. Of course, they need to go home and continue with their lives. It doesn't mean they'll abandon a friend. It's just simply moving on.

 

"I know all of you are tired. Thank you.."

 

Sooyoung's manager finally stood up and placed his hand on Mr. Choi's shoulder. He then went out with the girls who bowed to the old man. Shorttly when they are walking outside, Sooyoung's dad walk after them caught their attention once again..

 

"Excuse me.."

 

All of them looked back.

 

"Can you come tomorrow?

 

..please come.

 

..my daughter is expecting all of you. Come tomorrow and talk to her.."

 

All of them, including Jessica.. weakly smiled. Of course, even though they know the girl is soundly sleeping, it is given that she can completely hear what they are about to say. if all the other senses fail, hearing is the last one to go.

 

All of them managed to say they'll come first thing in the morning, oblivious of whether they have appointments or not.

 

---

 

"Can you come tomorrow?

 

..please come.

 

..my daughter is expecting all of you. Come tomorrow and talk to her.."

 

Jessica keeps on looking back. At the room's door, at the emergency room, at the exit door situated near the parking lot.. It feels as if leaving for just a moment means forever. She felt she wanted to get out of the van and go back to Sooyoung's room. But too late, the van where the girls are is already moving out of the hospital premises. Yuri, Taeyeon, Jessica, Seohyun and Sunny boarded the same van while Hyoyeon and Tiffany are with the manager. If someone looks inside the vehicle, you can see 5 girls with tired expressions. All of them have puffy eyes and they seem not to care how messy their hair are. Most of all, the silence among them seems to endure.

 

"I want to go back.."

 

Jessica's voice cracked up. Taeyeon, who is sitting beside her reached out for her hand. She held it tightly and Jessica managed to respond.

 

"We all wanted to go back Sica.." Taeyeon weakly said. "We'll just go home and let's go back. All of us."

 

Jessica looked oustide the window. The city lights seems to be blinding her swollen eyes. Nonetheless, she can't wander her eyes somewhere else, as if it wanted to burn by the intense light.

 

"Taeyeon.. I wish it was me instead.."

 

All of the other girls worriedly looked at her and touched her shoulder, her cheeks and her hand. Even the driver managed to look at Sica through the rearview mirror, sensing a great surge of guilt on the girl's remark. Seohyun, who's sitting on the front passenger side even turned her body to look at her weeping unnie.

 

"Don't say that unnie.."

 

Jessica weakly smiled. Her eyes tearing up again.

 

"I can't help it.. If it's me.. I have a feeling that I deserve it..."

 

Sunny shook her head.

 

"No Sica.. stop saying that!"

 

Jessica removed all the hands holding her. One by one. The others don't have the remaining energy to resist.

 

"It's sad.. how Sooyoung fell in that state.. just because of me. If something bad happens to her..

..i will never ever forgive myself."

 

Jessica looked at all of them, one person at a time and straight in their eyes.

 

"Sooyoung is like a super glue.. you know.."

 

Yuri, Sunny, Seohyun and Taeyeon just shook their heads. They know Jessica is losing it. She weakly smiled while she subtly and slowly clicked the door lock open.

 

"She's the one who makes our bond stronger. So if she dies..It's perfectly fine and acceptable to hate me. Don't you think?"

 

Seohyun brushed her fingers on her fringe and returned to her normal position. She then cried silently, supressing her sobs. Taeyeon, Yuri and Sunny just looked away. Jessica then opened the door of the van and with a gust of the wind, she got out and ran back to where Sooyoung is. The other girls just let her be, knowing they can't stop her.

 

---

 

I need to get back.. It may be now or never..maybe there will be no tomorrow.

 

Jessica never runs.

But right now, she's running like like  she's running for her life. She doesn't care anymore if there are people who might recognize her in the street. The hospital is now just around the corner, waiting to meet her like an old friend. The tall, white building seems to be really close but it will still take a hundred steps for Jessica to finally reach it.

 

Her phone keeps on ringing inside the pocket of her tweed coat. She still doesn't care. Her family is in the U.S.. That might be her sister, Krystal, but she'll understand. She's planning on spending the night with her best friend. Or most likely until she wakes up.

 

She would probably wake up tomorrow.

 

Yes. She will. And I need to be there when she does.

 

She's now about to enter the hospital's spinning door.  Just as the spinning door, Jessica felt her head spinning. She guess that's because of running. She then walks real fast

 

 reached the door that says 109. It's Sooyoung's room. Jessica hesitated to turn the knob.

 

"May I?"

 

A nurse in while she is thinking whether to come in or not. She felt the nurse sighed due to the time she seems to be wasting. Jessica moved away and the nurse opened the door. She's now kind of hiding behind her back. She heared Sooyoung's dad stood up and greeted the nurse who just came in.

She slowly walked beside the nurse and met Mr. Choi's eyes. The old man was surprised.

 

"Sica.."

 

Jessica then looked away.

 

"Uncle.. I guess.. I can't go home.. not yet. Please.. I want to watch over her.."

 

Mr. Choi is about to say something but he seems to erase it out of his mind and just nodded. She let Jessica sit beside Sooyoung's bed while he sat on the couch. The old man cleared his throat and gave his glance to this daughter who is lying on the bed with all of those apparatus attached to her slim body. She seems to be just sleeping, her face pale but nonetheless very beautiful.

 

"Okay..since you're here. I guess I can go back to our house. I'll be staying in here so I might as well get important things there.."

 

Jessica's face lit up. She nodded.

 

"I'll watch closely. I promise.."

 

Mr. Choi patted Sica's head and then got his car keys. He approached the door.

 

"Speak to her..I guess our Sooyoung can hear anything. I think she's glad you came back.."

 

Jessica nodded and gave the old man a bow. After the old man went out, she returned to her seat and looked at Sooyoung's sleeping face. The nurse just keeps on studying the machines beside the girl and then take down notes on her notepad. The nurse then became conscious of Jessica's stares.

 

"She's fine. Her heartbeat..her brainwaves..all are normal.."

 

The nurse said it out of convenience. After all, she's inside the room with the two of the most famous girls in South Korea. She's feeling awkward despite the one is sleeping and the other is not at her best look. Jessica smiled and appreciated the nurse's gesture.

 

"She's alright now.. I guess she's doing her best.."

 

The nurse smiled. Jessica remembered something.

 

"Is it true..that If I talk to her, she will hear it?"

 

The nurse bit her lip and stared at Sooyoung. She slowly nodded.

 

"Brain activity remains the same, even for patients who fell into coma. Only that her body is at the state which she can't fully control. Out of all the senses, her sense of hearing is the most keen."

 

Jessica breathed in and nodded. The nurse smiled and bid her goodbye.

 

---

 

Jessica awkwardly looked around the room, making sure no one's watching. She cleared . Talking to a sleeping person seems to be awkward. It's like delivering an awkward line of a drama series. Jessica sighed and slightly laughed at herself. How come she's so nervous?

 

"Sooyoung-ah.. I..I'm.. "

 

Jessica shrugged the word "sorry" away from her thoughts. Knowing Sooyoung, this is the last thing the girl wanted to hear from her.
 

"I'm doing great! really.. "

 

Jessica unknowingly brushed her hand on Sooyoung's cheek. The sleeping girl never knew it happened. Jessica sighed and closed her eyes for a bit. Millions of images played in her head. Sooyoung is the only thing that it shows.

 

"I'm breathing..Sooyoung, I'm really doing fine in here...so can you please do the same?"

 

No reply. Sooyoung just remained sleeping. The quick beeps of the Electrocardiogram is the only thing Jessica can hear. It's beep were sort of replies, telling her the girl who saved her is fighting. But the beeps were not enough. She longs for this girl's smiles, her cheerful remarks and just her mere lively presence.

 

"I guess..I'm no good without you.."

 

She looked intently at Sooyoung's sleeping face.It still looks beautiful, it always is. But Jessica can't discount the fact that her eyes were closed and she looked helpless. Jessica can't look away.

 

"Yah..Sooyoung. Wake up. That's unfair. You get a lot of sleep already.."

 

at that given moment. Jessica leaned over and kissed the girl. She's hoping that what she did will be enough to make her eyes open and wake up.  What the hell is she thinking? That this is some kind of fairytale. She almost choke herself with her own hands.

 

"Sooyoung..Enough of making me go crazy.. huh?"

 

Jessica placed her hand on Sooyoung's shoulder and slightly shook the girl's unconscious body.

 

"Jaebal....wake up..

 

and let's be happy...

 

Together."

 

Jessica felt crying but her eyes now seems dried out, like somehow it gave up producing tears.