Emptiness

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Despite her best friend's stern and clear disapproval, Taeyeon still found herself barging into LJ by the end of the day.

She knew that Jessica was out for a meeting at the moment and after a weekend with the heartbroken girl, she just couldn't stand by doing nothing as her friend suffered.

It reminded her of the past, and she grimaced at the thought.

The brunette had tried to conceal her sadness in front of her, in an all too obvious attempt not to worry her, but how could she, as her best friend not understand how much Jessica was really hurting?

That Lee Dongjerk!

"Miss! Miss!" she heard the receptionist call out from behind her.

Turning a deaf ear to her calls, Taeyeon proceeded on as per normal towards the elevator.

The elevator opened up for her to step out and she immediately took in a glimpse of the area.

Tch, it's too bad there's not many people left. It would've been fun to make a scene! On second thought, that would probably only earn me a scolding from Sica.

Slamming the door to his office open, Taeyeon walked in as Donghae glanced up at the commotion.

She didn't waste any time and marched right over to him, grabbing him by the collar.

"Yah! You Lee Dongjerk! How could you possibly hurt Jessica even until now?!" the petite girl hollered at him.

The businessman raised an eyebrow with the slight squint of his eyes.

"Kim Taeyeon, right? Jessica's best friend."

The mentioned girl glared murderously at him.

"It's good that you at least did your investigation on her well."

His eyes glared back at her.

"What brought you here?"

Her grab on him tightened as she scoffed.

"Other than the urge to beat you senseless, not much really."

He didn't say anything and her grab on him slowly loosened.

She looked at him with now disappointed eyes.

"If I knew, I would have never let her go to you! I thought that you were going to make her happy this time. For all the time she's suffered, I thought you were finally going to bring her happiness!" she screamed mercilessly at him.

His eyes pierced hers and he smirked.

"I'm the one that was lied to and deprived of the truth, not her."

Taeyeon shook her head disbelievingly at him.

"And you think she wanted to lie and hide the truth from you? Do you think she enjoyed it? Running away from reality, burying herself into an endless pitch of darkness, acting like she wasn't torn apart on the inside? Did you ever just stop for one minute to think about how she felt? How much she must have been hurting herself?! You're unbelievable! The only person you ever think about is yourself, while the only person she ever thinks about is you!"

His piercing gaze on her slowly softened.

Her words hit him hard; it hurted his pride but he realized that she was right.

For once, he had to truly stop being so stubborn and prideful.

How Jessica had been all these passing years, he really didn't know.

Sure, he knew a bit about her actions and whereabouts through Eunhyuk's report, but how she had felt going through each day, it was an absolute mystery to him.

"I'm listening," he finally said after some thought, no longer hostile towards the girl.

The short girl finally let out a sigh and released her hold on him, crossing her arms to her body instead.

She took in a deep breathe.

"I first met Jessica when she transferred to our all-girls private school, shortly after the accident."

"When I met her," Taeyeon paused solemnly, "She was broken."

Something flickered in Donghae's eyes and she let her words settle into him before continuing on.

"She wasn't the cheerful or smiling Jessica like she is now or was before the accident. She was cold and lifeless, reserved to the world and those around her. It was probably one of her lowest points. To add onto her load, she became the target of the bullies at our school because of her background. Her aloofness to them only angered them further. It was around that time that I met her. We didn't have any interest in befriending each other at first, but it happened that we both helped each other out a few times and before we knew it, we just kind of clicked. She became someone I could rely on just as I became hers, and eventually, we were each other's best friend. Then, when she was ready, she finally opened up to me. That naive girl hadn't want to trouble me with her burdens at first." Taeyeon smiled lightly and stole a glance at Donghae.

He was listening to her attentively and as much she hated him for hurting Jessica, she knew that it was hard on him as well.

"Jessica, she blamed herself a lot, you know. For what happened to you. She said that at the time of the accident, you had launched over to her seat to shield her from the impact and that had caused further damage to you, along with your memories. I remember her telling me that when she woke up in the hospital, she was frantic, panicking, wondering where you were and if you were alright. She immediately went searching for you despite the nurses' protests and when she found you, she was devastated. You looked at her and you asked her who she was, why she was crying and screaming your name. She didn't know how to answer you at the time, she was shocked. The doctor filled her in about your condition afterwards and heeding his advice, she visited you everyday. The only problem was, your brain was still in recovery mode so you forgot about her every time by the next day. That didn't stop her from persisting though, to reintroduce herself to you everyday. It was an incident she stumbled upon that did."

Taeyeon took a pause once again to let the man in front of her sink in the story.

She noticed that his eyes had taken on a sad demeanor.

"As she continued to visit you, someone else had beaten her to it one day. It wasn't that she minded, it was the fact that you started recognizing the girl after only her second visit that left Jessica broken-hearted. The girl was a classmate of yours and hers, whom had been harbouring a crush on you for quite some time. She knew that you had lost your memories and chose that moment to come in between you guys. Since Jessica hadn't want to impose her identity as your girlfriend onto you, she had requested that no one mention it, including herself, and the girl used that fact to her benefit. It was hard on her- Jessica. She still came to visit you everyday, despite the fact that her visits only consisted of watching you from afar. Watching you as you smiled and laughed with the girl, recognizing her each day. It pained her, but she didn't know how to stop. She blamed herself. She thought at first, that you must've hated her, for making you loose your memories, and chose to forget her in that way. After a month of her routine, Jessica finally decided to stop visiting you when she noticed the amount of new friends you had gained within your stay. It was then that she moved schools and requested of your friends and family, that no one were to utter a word about her. She hid away all the pictures and momentos of you two, filling her room with them instead. By that time, you were close to being discharged and she didn't want to be the reason of your past that would interfere with the new life that you had come to develop. Thus, she hid away, along with all the memories that you guys shared together."

Donghae slumped back into his chair as Taeyeon leaned back onto his office desk, facing away from him.

"The whole ordeal left a deep wound in her heart, Donghae. A wound that to this day, has become a scar that she hides for your sake. It always breaks my heart to think back to when I first met her. How broken she had been without you by her side. You were her hope and joy, and without you by her side, she was like an empty shell, void of life. Six years, it took her six years to get back on her feet. After a year, she had pretended to be okay, returning back to her slightly more cheerful self, but we all knew that she was still hurting while trying to reassure us. Even until this day, she never stopped loving you, never stopped missing you, never stopped hurting from the incident. She never dated after you. You were her first and last love, and she made no attempt to get over you. She had long decided that she couldn't be the one for you, yet she wouldn't let anyone else be the one for her."

Taeyeon had become lost in her train of memories.

While the latter, overwhelmed by the frustration he presently held for himself, was huddled over with his head in his palms.

"She's suffered and hurted, Donghae. Don't let her hurt anymore. While you were living life and starting anew, she carried your pains along with her as she suffered alone. She never stopped checking up on you, whether it was through magazines, newspapers, televisions, or a phonecall to your mom. The only reason she moved to study and work abroad was to widen the distance between the two of you, in hopes that her constant yearning for you would go away. To prevent herself from ever breaking and running to you, spilling out the truth that she had hidden away. She only returned a few months ago, when she decided that she was finally ready."

The petite girl let out a sigh.

"I scolded her a lot, you know. For still constantly worrying about you so much, for smiling when she saw you happy with another girl, for running to you at the first notice of your breakup, for throwing herself into LJ when she was already amidst the process of setting up her gallery, and for always thinking about you over herself. That's why when I saw you taking care of her the other day, I was finally happy. Happy that she had proved my scoldings wrong, but when I picked her up last night, do you know how much I wanted to beat you up? Last night, I saw the broken Jessica again, Donghae. The Jessica from years ago."

She threw a glance over her shoulder.

"You're lucky that I can actually see that you do love and care about her, or else I would've gave you a loud scolding and a hard punch by now!" she ended her speech with an emphasized threat.

Propping herself off his desk, Taeyeon went over to him one last time as she jabbed her index finger at him.

"Don't. Don't you ever doubt her love for you again."

Then, standing back, she recomposed herself and headed for the door.

"Taeyeon," he called out before she could exit his office, "Thank you, for telling me. I'll make it up to her. I promise. Just," he hesitated, "Just make sure she's alright in the meantime, okay?"

She turned around to give him a knowing smile, glad that she was able to knock some sense into him, unlike Jessica.

"You better, and you don't even have to ask."

-

The next day rolled around and the businessman heaved a sigh as he sank into the cushion of his chair.

He hadn't been able to concentrate with Jessica constantly on his mind lately. Furthermore, the arising tension didn't help to ease his mind either.

The luxury of continuing his routine had also been greatly deprived of him as the blinds to Jessica's office were now drawn shut to his view.

It left him empty; not being able to catch a glimpse of her whenever he felt like it.

Additionally, his heart ached every time Taeyeon's words rang through his mind.

She's suffered and hurted, Donghae.

Getting up from his chair, Donghae's shoes tapped against the floor, from his office to hers.

His knuckles stopped short, hovering in mid-air, centimeters away from the wooden surface of her door.

He raked the hovering hand through his hair as he turned to lean upon the door instead.

From behind the door, Jessica's hand clutched onto the door's handle, longing to make her way over to his office as well.

But lacking the courage, she ended up turning away from it as she too, leaned upon it instead.

"Mr. Lee," she heard one of the staffs acknowledge, and with wide eyes, she whipped around to pull the door open.

To her great disappointment, the only thing that greeted her was emptiness.

Empty. It was how she had been feeling.

-

Jessica peered down from her balcony, breathing in the city's night view as she closed her eyes to feel the wind caressing her hair.

A light smile painted itself upon her lips and she hugged her arms to her body in an attempt to fight off the coolness of the night.

It was late into the night and she was surprised that there was still a visitor in the parking lot at this hour.

The car looked oddly familiar and quite lonesome as well, being the only car in the lot.

Her eyebrows met together when she realized that the car was not empty afterall; there was someone inside.

Shouldn't he be in and visiting, or done and gone? Why is he simply just sitting there?

A gasp slipped from her lips as the realization of the familiarity hit her.

Donghae.

But why? And at this hour.

She needed to confirm.

Picking up her cellphone from the nearby stand , Jessica dialed in his number, setting hers to private.

It rang twice before he picked up.

"Hello?" he answered, and she watched as the car from beneath immediately fill with a faint ray of light.

She stayed silent, unable to form the words stuck in as her heart pounded hard against her chest.

"Hello?" Donghae asked again.

When he received no reply, his reflex had urged him to hang up but his instincts told him to otherwise.

He glanced up to her balcony and was surprised to catch the dim light of a cellphone just inches from the railing.

Smiling, he held the phone close to his ears.

How are you, Hae?

Are you doing okay, Jess?

Why are you here, so late, at this hour? Aren't you tired? You must take care of yourself.

I'm sorry. You must be having a hard time because of me.

I'm happy you came, but go home, Hae. Go home and rest. 

I'm happy you called, love. I promise. I'll make it up to you. All my wrongs. Until then, I can't properly face you. Take care for now, Jess.

Take care, Hae.

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