Eight and a half months since my last update. Sorry. Had to reread the whole story to make sure everything fit up right.

Typos. So many.

 

Minzy sat in one of the fluffy armchairs positioned oddly around the waiting room. Seunghyun had a previous engagement today so she ended up at the doctors office far earlier than expected. She’d been visiting Dr. Glenda Miriam twice a week for the past month and as expected progress was slow.

            The office door opened and a young boy walked in, he glanced awkwardly at her before scooting to a seat as far away as possible. She paid little attention to him, focusing instead on the blank sheet of paper in her sketchbook. Still, she could feel his eyes boring a hole into her.

            “My appointment isn’t for an hour and a half,” she clicked her tongue and touched the pencil to the paper. She could hear a discernable sigh of relief come from the statue of a man across the room.  

            “You could have asked.”

            The boy flinched and began tapping his feet against the floor, “nnn…n-no.”

            Minzy looked up for the first time, his face was white as a sheet and he was visibly shaking. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be insensitive,” she smiled weakly, “obviously you’re here for a reason. Like myself.”

            He turned his head away, “F-f-fine.”

            Despite the lack of color in his face he was a very attractive guy. He had a slightly rounded face with big eyes and a mess of brown hair. It made her wonder why he was so freaked out, with a face like that he should be able to conquer anything.

            “Are you alright?” Minzy leaned forward, he was breathing deeply, almost hyperventilating. One of the office doors opened and a male doctor and another patient stepped out.

            “Oh, Jungkook,” the doctor clasped his hands together, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize another patient would be here so early.

            “Go ahead in,” he motioned him into the other room. The boy shot up and darted into the room avoiding all forms of eye contact. Minzy watched with disconcerted concern but gave up once he was out of sight. Sure she had her issues and most of them warranted but for him to behave that way… she shook her head.

            “So how have you been doing,” the doctor pulled out a pen and pad of paper.

            Minzy stared out the window, “about the same.”

            “Still having trouble with affection and intimacy?”

            “Don’t say it like that,” Minzy scoffed at her, “the reason I’m here isn’t so I can go jump in the sack with someone.”

            “Of course.”

            She pursed her lips, trying to decide whether to ask her question, “what’s wrong with him? The guy that gets seen before me.”

            The doctor folded her hands in her lap, “I don’t know, he’s not my patient. Even if he was I wouldn’t be able to tell you anything.”

            Minzy nodded, “I just feel bad. He was so freaked out by me.”

            “All I’m aware of is women trigger his… issue. So you didn’t do anything wrong.”

            “Alright,” she sighed, “but I just can’t help feeling like it’s my fault.”

            Dr. Miriam scribbled something down, “do you think, maybe, your friends and family feel the same way about you?”

            “Ha. I see where you’re going.”

            “So?” The doctor urged.

            “Sure, I get it. They want to help me but I don’t understand how they can think it’s their fault at all.”

            “Alright, but how is it your fault you caused the young man from earlier to freak out?”

            Minzy grumbled and threw her head back against the chair, why was she trying to connect one with the other. How she felt didn’t have anything to do with how her family felt.

           “What do you want me to say?”

           The doctor shrugged, “I don’t want you to say anything. Why don’t you think about it for a while and get back to me at your next appointment.”

           They only spent a few more minutes talking before their time was up. Minzy gathered her things and went to wait for Seunghyun to pick her up. Slinging her bag over her shoulder she crouched down on the front steps.

           “I-I’m sorry,” a voice murmured from behind her, she flicked her head to the left forcing a strand of hair from behind her ear. The boy from earlier was leaning against the wall, still avoiding eye contact.

           “For what?” She turned back towards the road, keeping her own eyes fixed on passing cars.

           “I-I-I have,” he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to center himself. He coughed, “I have…unresolved issues with…girls. I didn’t mean to upset you, I’m just very uncomfortable.”

           “That makes sense but, if you don’t mind me asking, what could have happened to make you react that horribly?”

           He chuckled wryly, “I’d really rather not say. Just the women in my life are… assertive? No, that’s not the right word…”

           “Mmm,” Minzy cocked her head, “es? Is that the right word?”

           The boy let out a small, weak laugh, “yeah.  That’s one word for it.”

           Minzy still kept her back to him worried he might start hyperventilating if they made eye contact.

           “Well, um, thanks for listening.” He pushed himself off the wall as a car approached, “my name’s Jungkook, by the way.”

           “I’m Minzy,” she smiled after him, “see you next time.”

           Jungkook blinked and waved awkwardly before disappearing into the car. She felt the corner of twitch and she quickly pulled out her sketchbook, jotting down his features.

            

 

           Minzy pulled the blanket tighter around her body; Seunghyun, herself and Chaelin were watching something on the television in the living room. The older two were cuddled up on the couch while she occupied the armchair. Honestly, she still wasn’t sure what their relationship was, but lately everyone’s relationships were ambiguous. Hers included.

           Stretching her arms above her head she pulled herself up from the couch and lazily treaded to her room. Seunghyun was calling to her but she just ignored him, she wanted to sleep. Jiyong liked her and she obviously liked him back, that wasn’t the issue. He was being a gentleman, waiting patiently for her. How long would he wait?

           The thought made her uneasy and her heart clenched, pounding unevenly in pain.

           In the past, she had wanted little out of life other than to be able to draw and be able to express herself that way. Now, she wasn’t sure what she wanted. Being with Jiyong was sure to give her unwanted attention…

          

          

           Minzy sat outside the doctor’s office, once again. When she arrived the waiting room was empty and she found herself slightly disappointed. Like most days their talks went in a roundabout cycle, ending where they started. She was tired of no progress and wanted to blame Dr. Miriam but logically, she knew it was her own fault. Her emotions were stalled and she didn’t have the brute force to pull herself out of it.

           “Hey,” a voice spoke from behind her, faltering slightly. Minzy spun around and felt herself wanting to smile, but she didn’t, “Jungkook.”

           “Minzy,” he skirted around her in a five-foot semicircle, settling on the stoop just as far away. She felt comfortable in his company but she could tell he didn’t feel the same; his cheek would twitch every now and again and he never stopped tapping his feet.

           “Want me to scoot down further?”

           Jungkook coughed and shook his head, “no, I’m ok.”

           “Obviously you’re not,” Minzy started but stayed in her spot, flipping through the sketchbook.

           “Hey, that’s me!” He spotted one of the more recent pages before it was turned over.

           “Yeah,” Minzy examined the sketch behind it before going to a clean page, “I drew it last time. You were interesting and very good looking, I couldn’t help myself.”

           The boy blushed and cleared his throat, “you’re blunt.”

           “Oh, sorry,” Minzy paused, thinking about it for a second, “I didn’t really think about it. I’m not trying to hit on you or anything. Just stating a fact.”

           She continued, “even if I did it’s not like anything would happen. I think if you touched a girl you would have a heart attack.”

           “It’s possible,” he said quietly, “the thought is enough to make me sick.”

           Minzy watched him from the corner of her eye, his face dropped as if he was disappointed in himself. It must be difficult for him, always worried about running into a member of the opposite gender. At least she only feared one particular person. Well, and intimacy. Ok, that wasn’t entirely true. She wasn’t afraid of intimacy, she was afraid of the memories it would bring back.

           “Do,” she pinched , “do you hate intimacy?”

           Jungkook looked taken aback and confused, “that’s such an odd thing to ask, and especially to someone you don’t know well.”

           “Well,” Minzy shrugged, everyone already knew her business, “I have an issue with intimacy, that’s why I’m here.”

           The boy digested the information, rolling his head from side to side. There were many reasons people had issues with intimacy, “I can understand. I would definitely have an issue being affectionate with a female, but overall I find it not to be troublesome.”

           “Yeah, I thought so too, at one point,” her eyes darkened momentarily before she rooted herself in reality again. Grinning she looked him dead in the eyes, making the boy mutter uncomfortably.

           “You,” she twirled her pencil between her fingers, “were mighty chummy with the guy who picked you up.”

           A sharp blush swept across his normally pale face, “he’s my… ah, he’s my-“

           “Your something, right?” She smirked and turned her head away giving him some privacy to be embarrassed by himself. “It’s good to have someone.”

           “What about you?”

           “Yes, I have someone,” she sighed deeply, “but I’m worried he’ll give up on me soon.”

           A pang shot through his heart and despite his discomfort he scooted towards her half an inch, hoping the gesture was sincere enough. She smiled a little but horrible thoughts still clouded her mind.

           “Don’t worry so much,” he patted his hands against his own thighs, “I think he probably see’s what you don’t see, even about yourself. I mean I’ve only just met you but, I think if I had to be around a girl, you’d be at the top of the list.”

           Minzy sarcastically placed her hand over her heart, “I’m so touched.”

           Down on the street Seunghyun honked the car’s horn. Minzy started gathering her things, only just noticing Jungkook’s uncomfortable expression lined with a tinge of hesitation.

           “Do you,” she looked back at Seunghyun, “do you need a ride?”

           He opened his mouth and closed it again, “would that be too much trouble?”

           “I don’t think so. Let me go ask.” She tapped down the stairs and flung her things in the back talking to her brother expressively.

           “Come on!” She shouted up the walkway, “he said it’s ok.”

           Jungkook pressed his lips together and shakily walked to the car getting into the backseat behind the driver. As far away from her spot in the passengers seat, Minzy noted, but didn’t take it personally.

           “Are you her boyfriend?” Jungkook asked innocently.

           Seunghyun’s voice boomed with laughter, “no, no. This is my baby sister.”

           “Oh,” he shook his head clearly mortified while Minzy laughed.

           “So where are we dropping you at?” Seunghyun glanced into the backseat, only managing to catch a glimpse of the side of Jungkook’s face.

           “Avaro Boulevard,” Jungkook stared out the window, “thank you, by the way.”

           Minzy turned around in her seat, “why did you need a ride?”

           “He’s uh, he’s working today,” catching Minzy’s look of concern, he smiled, “really. He’s working.”

           “Okay,” Minzy noticed his hands tapping uneven patterns on his knees. She still didn’t understand why being around a girl was so painful for him, but then again, she couldn’t make anyone else understand how she felt at the moment either. Ripping a page from her sketchbook she jotted down a few things folded it into a small airplane and shot it into the backseat.

           “Give me a call, text or email, I don’t mind,” she giggled as the plane hit him on the cheek, “I’ll be there to talk.”

           “Thanks,” he unfolded the structure as Seunghyun pulled to a stop. Jungkook opened the car door, “I’ll see you next week, I guess.”

           Once the boy was gone and Seunghyun was driving again he poked Minzy, “I’m going to tell Jiyong.”

           “Ah, shuttup,” she batted his hand away, “you know it’s not like that.”

           “Yeah,” he gripped the steering wheel, “he looked ready to jump out of his skin.”

           “He doesn’t like girls.”

           “That was obvious as well.”

 

 

 

           Minzy sat in one of the lawn chairs in the backyard staring up at the night sky. Festivities were back in swing at her house. They weren’t celebrating anything but the house was full and loud. Her bedroom was a no-go, Bom was in there feeding the baby. Seunghyun was in his room with, you guess who, a definite no. Taemin and Minho were busy watching the television with anyone else who wasn’t busy and Kibum was sitting on the front stoop, arguing or making up with his white haired tattoo artist. Sighing she blew the hair away from her face and placed her folded glasses on the table; trying to relax with the clear night.

           “Hey,” Jiyong stepped through the sliding door, holding up her sketchbook, “who’s this?”

           She narrowed her eyes and tried to distinguish the lines on the page, “Jungkook.”

           “Who’s that?” Jiyong sat down at the bottom of the lawn chair his face set into a look she couldn’t quite figure out.

           “A guy who goes to the same therapist office I do. Why?”

           Jiyong’s face contorted as he ruffled his hair, “but why did you draw him?”

           Minzy shrugged, “I didn’t really think about it at the time. Is something wrong?”

           “You…only draw people who mean something to you,” Jiyong grumbled and threw the book down making Minzy yell and scramble to collect it, “the hell, Jiyong?”

           “I’m just-“ he growled, “I’m just so uneasy!”

           “What? Why?” She clutched the book to her chest staring at the man in front of her.

           He sighed and collapsed forward, resting his forehead against her legs, “you’re so independent. Seunghyun practically has to beg to get you to depend on him now. You don’t ask anything of me so I cant do anything for you. I don’t know what you’re thinking…I cant tell if you even like me. And now you’ve got a drawing of a strange boy. I feel like I’m losing to everyone else.”

           Minzy blinked and ran her fingers through his hair, still holding onto the book with one arm, “why?”

           “I want to know you want me, but I know that’s difficult for you.” He pressed his head into her thigh, “I’m jealous, Minz.”

           Minzy made a face and carefully placed her sketchbook on the table next to her glasses. Grabbing his face between her hands she pulled his head up and stared into his eyes thoughtfully.

           “Have I really never said it?” she paused, caressing his cheek with her thumb, “I like you.”

           Minzy squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, “no. That’s not right. I- I love you, Jiyong.”

           The normally stoic man felt a blush creeping into his cheeks and he quickly shoved his face back into her lap. He wanted to hit himself at such childish behavior; he wanted to show her only his good sides.

           She went back to petting his head, smiling at his red tipped ears, “Jiyong?”

           “I love you, Minzy,” he wrapped his arms around her waist, “more than anything. I don’t want you to ever leave me. I know I’m being uncool but, I just cant imagine being without you.”

           He nuzzled into her hip, “I can wait and wait, but please don’t leave me alone.”

           “You’re being awfully needy,” someone snorted from the doorway. Jiyong grumbled and sat up, instantly recognizing the voice.

           “Seunghyun, anyone can get needy when it comes to love,” he moved Minzy over before pulling her into his lap.

           “Yeah, ok,” he crossed his arms, very uneasy at the scene before him, however, Minzy wasn’t complaining. Instead she had snuggled into his torso and was back to staring up at the sky.

           “Keep it PG-13,” he pointed at Jiyong, “better yet, keep it PG.”

           “Leave them alone,” Chaelin grabbed his shirt and pulled him back into the house. Jiyong smoothed Minzy’s dark hair back; resting his chin on the top of her head he stared up at the endless darkness with her.

           “I wont leave you.”