Blaming only you

"I don't know what I'd do without you
Your words are like a whisper coming through
As long as you're with me here tonight, I'm good..."

This saturday has been like every other for the Host Club members until...

"Chen-oppa did you get my letter yesterday?"

"Excuse me, no?", Chen asks surprised when he looks away from his "Twin" and to their regular who plays with the empty ceramic cup in her hands, taking glances at him and blushing furiously. Her friend who is sitting beside her remains silent, watching attentively but with red cheeks.

No answer is muttered but the girl who asked him the question keeps glancing towards Minseok who went ahead and is grabbing some biscuits and new tea for their clients. Watching the boy from afar, Chen frowns and wonders what the girl could mean by her actions.

Kim Minseok is standing in front of the counter where fresh hot tea had been brewed and hums a little to himself before he looks up and sees Jongin, the King lean against the glass of the high window in the room, looking into the distance with his phone in his hands.

"What are you doing here? No costumers this time?", Minseok asks casually and Jongin glances at him before sighing deeply.

"Luhan is taking care of them, I got an urgent phone call so..."

"From whom if I may ask?", Minseok questions with a raised eyebrow and Jongin sighs again before straighten up a bit but still searching with his eyes the school yard.

"My Mother.", the younger shortly responds and Minseok nods his head in understanding.

"He wants to come back right?", the older guesses and Jongin grunts but nods his head while massaging his temples.

"She said that he wants a change of air and so the both will come back home in a week or so.", Jongin explains while he steps closer to his older friend and takes a few tarts from the bowl and eats them with a pout on his lips.

"That's not so bad, is it? I mean you both don't really like each other and all but it's good he comes back. You can talk about everything. Sohee would have been so excited to hear from him coming back home.", Minseok absentmindedly adds, smiling softly before looking down on the already full tray in his hands.

"Well yeah. I remember her always running after him. He would say that she is a curse and be moody all day long when he came back from the hospital."

"He was her crush, c'mon you had a crush on her as well, don't be jealous and tell such stories."

"No it's the truth, he never had been into her. And I still can't understand how she could have liked him so much, more than me. It's ridiculous.", Jongin says, looking at his phone and searching through his contact list for a specific number.

"Say the day after tomorrow you won't be coming right?", Jongin asks his friend all of the sudden and Minseok smiles sadly before nodding. "Yes, I won't be in school the whole day. I need to visit her even if it's just once a year. Next year I will be in china and then I won't have a chance to come anymore.", Minseok says and Jongin pats his Hyungs back in comfort.

"It's alright Hyung, I completely understand, maybe I'll come and join you.", Jongin says with a dreaming smile. "She has been my friend as well."

"And you're first crush may I remind you.", Minseok chuckles when Jongin pouts and let's go of the elder.

Now Minseok is the one patting Jongin's shoulder with a wide grin. "I know I already said it Jongin... but it will be better if you get along with your brother from now on. With the promise you both gave each other you won't be able to visit him if the time comes. How was it: Promise me to never visit when I am gone or I'll curse you so you won't enjoy the rest of your miserable life. Wasn't it?", Minseok imitates, making a face before laughing quietly.

"You both certainly are not good to speak about. I can still remember the times you would fight in the middle of the hallway and kick each other away when one accidently touched the other. Over so little things you two just couldn't withstand and needed to quarrel. I found it cute at first but now it's just absurd Jongin.", Minseok says before turning around with a meaningful glance, ready to leave the counter and go back to Chen and their two clients for the afternoon.

"I know that Hyung.", he hears a faint answer and Minseok smiles lightly, before stepping away. "Hey Minseok Hyung? Can I ask you why you acted so weird yesterday evening?", Jongin all of the sudden calls out to him and turning around Minseok shrugs his shoulders before leaving the King alone, deep in thoughts.

Minseok goes over to Chen and their two guests, who are talking quietly with each other. He pours a cup of tea for both of the girls with a warm smile, not locking eyes with the black haired girl who tries desperately to get his full attention.

I can't do this, I am sorry... Please I only want him to know how I feel and you are so close to him every day, please... Alright, I'll do it.

Maybe he shouldn't have accepted the request but it's too late to argue now.

"Xiumin oppa?", the girl from yesterday asks softly as he has sat down, munching onto a few biscuits by himself as the other look at him intensely. "What is it Jiyeon-ah?", he asks her back and the girl blushes before looking at Chen. Don't look at him like that...

"I wanted to ask you if you gave Chen-oppa the letter I gave you...?", she trails off and Minseok can feel the glare directed towards him. Chen doesn't seems all that happy but there had been no other choice for Minseok.

No wonder he reacted a little bit unusual yesterday, Chen probably thinks now but he doesn't seems to link the puzzle pieces yet and that's good so.

"I have it with me.", Minseok voices before grabbing into his uniform jacket and pulling a rosè colored envelope out of his pocket. He hands it over to Jiyeon and smiles, showing white teeth.

"I wanted you to do it personally. You said you would come the next day for his answer, didn't you? So why not asking him in person and hand him your letter like that as well?", Minseok tilts his head, trying to avoid Chen's gaze that seems to burn his skin.

He is so fake, it is pathetic. Minseok wants to go, now. He doesn't needs to see this. It's the first time a girl has tried to make advances at any of the both 'Twins' since the incident in the first and second semester after the Host Club was founded. Minseok can still remember the brave girl going up to him and asking him out after meeting him for the first time. Chen hasn't looked pleasant, he himself had been shocked and surprised but Chen's reaction had been too much.

Until today Minseok doesn't understands why the younger reacted this why towards one of their clients. It had been only the first day, yes and Jongin, the young but mature boy has scolded them for acting out of hand. A Host is not supposed to yell at a client and throw them out.

But yesterday there came someone and that was Jiyeon. A friend of Minseok and Sohee's from middle school. That she came to him and wanted him to hand a love letter to his best friend, has not been expected at all and Minseok has wished that she didn't but here he is, watching how Chen takes the letter with a bright and heart warming smile before opening it and reading silently.

Looking up and at Jiyeon, the girl hides behind her hands, her friend caressing and patting her back for comfort. She seems out of it, blushing furiously and making weird noises as she peaks out of her fingers and watches Chen read her letter with care.

The whole scene makes Minseok clench his hands into first, breath growing ragged and sweat starting to form on his forehead. He doesn't knows why he is feeling so hot and uncomfortable in his skin at the moment but it's the worst. He never ever has felt this way and it's not something he wants to ever feel again. His heart aches when Chen lays the letter down and looks at Jiyeon warmly. The girl squeaks before her friend pulls her hands away from her face and whispers something in Jiyeon's ear.

"I am very flattered Jiyeon-ah.", Chen starts, laying his hand on the place his heart is supposed to be and Jiyeon smiles, eyes glittering with something as she waits for Chen to continue.

"But I have to tell you that my heart belongs to-"

"It's alright. Please don't say anymore!", Jiyeon then suddenly calls, eyes glittering with something other than expectations and cheerfulness. She quickly stands up and bows her head a little before storming out of the Club room, with the last dignity she has left. Her friend looks completely lost on the chair, watching her friend walk out of the room with a hand covering so she wouldn't start wailing pathetically in front of her crush. Her lips form into a small smile before bowing to the both speechless guys, dressed in classy suits and leaving the room with quick steps to catch her friend before she faints.

"Why did she just leave?", Chen asks after a second of utter shock. He looks at his best friend who frowns at him and slaps his arm.

"You're such an idiot sometimes Jongdae.", the older says before sipping on his own tea and ignoring the glare directed towards him once again. He is too blessed to care.

"When you would have given me the love letter first, I wouldn't have to do this in public. I would have told her in personal.", Chen huffs, being frustrated with his Hyungs strange actions nowadays. What is wrong with him?

"When did she give you the letter anyway?", he asks casually when he looks at the door that has been closed with a soft click. The girl and Jiyeon are out of their view now and Chen sighs heavily before rubbing his temples. He hates those things, rejecting someone like this is not his style. He doesn't likes places with a lot of audience watching. It's embarrassing and he knows how the girl must feel like and he hates himself a little bit more after this.

"Yesterday afternoon before club activity.", Minseok then says and Chen raises his head, mind spinning and making him feel dizzy. Yesterday? Was that the reason why Minseok has acted so weird towards him? Can it be possible... that he has been jealous of the girl?

"But how I already said. I didn't gave you the letter yesterday because she should do it herself. It's only fair for you and her, so I thought but I guess it was not the right thing to do.", Minseok goes on with explaining and Chen's shoulders sink in defeat. The little hope he has thrived in his heart wilting slowly.

"Way to go guys.", Sehun suddenly appears from behind and pats his Hyungs shoulders when he passes by, a tea cup in his hand and a smile adorning his lips when he goes over and brings Luhan the black tea he has ordered.

The Host Club is having a theme thursday and saturday in every week and this time the topic is 'Lords and Servants'. A unlucky day for the maknae because he is the only one having to serve all the Hyungs and girls that visit the said Host members. It's pretty full all saturdays because almost no student travels home for two days and are too bored to stay in the library but that also means more work for Sehun and the usually is strictly against any form of hard work.

He is simply not used to do such things, having grown up in a rich family with tradition and generous and classy folks, he never needed to serve people or anything close to that but if he get's the chance to serve and make a good impression on Luhan he will do anything possible.

But even with that in mind, Sehun needs to let out his disgruntlement silently. And the person he first thinks about is the new guy who can sleep in late today. Do Kyungsoo, who should do this instead of him. He has a debt to pay back, he is the beggar from the street and only here because Jongin's father has taken a liking on him for whatever reasons. How did the boy even got the chance to meet Mr. Kim? And attend this school in the first place?

Sehun honestly doesn't knows because Jongin has kept his mouth shut for almost two weeks now and Kyungsoo is not the most talkative person. In addition, Sehun doesn't really wants to talk to Kyungsoo any time soon. The boy takes his favorite Hyung away from him. Every step Do Kyungsoo takes toward Luhan, forces Oh Sehun to step back into the dark and he always has liked the spotlight he stood in when it came to Luhan even if it was out of a different reason as Sehun would have liked it to be.

The young boy sighs a little when he stands stiff as a poker in a corner of the room and watches s interact with their guest. Some pretty woman have made they way into the Host Club today and Sehun can only shake his head at the too much make up and too overdressed girls. How can the others like them´, adore them and want to serve them when they are only thinking about one thing? As he watched Chen refuse a girl in a politely manner, even with sympathetic eyes showing, he shuddered. The girl just stood up abruptly and stalked out of the Host Club with tears in her eyes.

The guests simply expect too much from them. Also, at those moments, Sehun is glad that he doesn't feels anything when he sees a woman. But it must have hurt to hear a rejection from the one you adore and love so dearly... The young understands her all too well but doesn't shows it, doesn't has or needs too. He has his own problems to overcome and nobody can help him, why should he bother then?

There is nothing he can do besides to try and don't give up and that is exactly what he will do until Luhan notices him like he really is and not as the brat Luhan makes him out to be. Even if he is gay and loves one of his club members he has the right to be open about it and not get forced into a corner to be ashamed of his nature.

Sometimes he hates Minseok for being such a hater when it comes to gays. The boy certainly can't understand what it means to 'come out' and be open, to get rejected from the family and friends who are afraid of you. Minseok has no ing idea how hard it is, the bullying behind his close friends backs, for nobody but him to hear and feel. It's hard, so ing hard but nobody sees him complaining.

Because Oh Sehun is strong enough and can go through all this on his own.

He was elected most Handsome this year and is one of the most affective students in this school. Girls and boys will beg on their knees to be with him for a single day but he never let's them. There are still people in this school who have prejudice against those who think differently, for those who are different and don't want to hide it anymore. So Sehun holds his arms open for those people and even with his young age he wants to give them hope and security in this club that is not all and whole against his living being.

Glaring at Minseok's direction who even rejects to be served by him and his table, Sehun huffs in disappointment. He needs to get Minseok on his good side and then Luhan would follow like the good puppy he is, because for some weird reason does Luhan adore the oldest of the group of friends. It's another thing Sehun despises but he never says anything, holding it all back and locked away because it will not bring him any good.

He doesn't understands Luhan at all. His first year in this school and meeting new people, Luhan has looked up to Jongin. He is younger as the Chinese, does not need so much attention all the time but Luhan gave him it anyway. Jongin never has appreciated it like Sehun had would but Luhan never looked at him in that way from the start. Being hurt and miserable that his first real crush does not want to have anything to do with him, Sehun has tried to play the sassy brat and act as much out of the line for Luhan to notice him. Not the best decision but it helped to decrease his need for Luhan. The occasional glances, frowns and spats had been enough for Sehun at first but not anymore.

Walking up and down in the room and serving tea and biscuits, Sehun has enough time to think about the past that only lies one year behind. He remembers the cries of desperation from Luhan as he noticed that he was in love with another boy, how frightened he had been and befriended with Minseok who stood by his side, probably not knowing a single thing.

The both hit it off the first day of their meeting. Chen being jealous and protective over Minseok had always been there with them. He knows more than Sehun does and spends more time with Luhan. Another thing Sehun doesn't likes but what to do? Everyone spends more time with Luhan than him.

Sehun can still recall Luhan's confession to Jongin. How the latter reacted so casually about it, laughing about it and rejecting the Queen of the new founded Host Club with a whisper in his red flushed ear.

The red face, the tears and the anger that followed had visibly built up in Luhan and he let it out when he thought he was alone but Sehun had been there, the whole time hiding in the small changing room with an open door. The next day Jongin acted like nothing happened, acting the same like he always did. Smiles, hugs and cheerful voice heard in the moody club atmosphere until he lightened everything up and got the new found members to work. Why his friend had been like that, nobody knew. Luhan's cold eyes and ridiculous fake smile directed towards Jongin went unnoticed by the dense male and nobody spoke ever a word about it. It has been like Jongin could not remember and that has been the point for Luhan to stop dreaming, stop admiring and stop trying.

Something Sehun won't ever do because he also admires Luhan's strength for standing up from the dirty ground and going on with life.

"What's up with you? So deep in thoughts today butler Sehun?", Chanyeol says when he leans against the wall Sehun is standing close to. He watched the maknae the whole day, occasionally glancing at the younger when he walked past with a full tray and narrowed eyes. Chanyeol, of course noticed that something must be bothering the young male.

"Don't liking you're position as butler?", the taller male teases but Sehun doesn't spats back at him like he usually would. The young only looks over his shoulder and that with such a bored expression shown on his face that Chanyeol frowns and huffs before pushing himself off the wall. Not the time to joke around I see. Must be serious when our Maknae reacts so rudely towards my jokes laugh potential.

Chanyeol goes over to the slightly smaller boy and wraps his strong arm around his shoulder, leaning all his weight onto the delicate boy who only grunts at the act.

"You're thinking about Luhannie again? You naughty boy, you.", Chanyeol whispers into Sehun's ear. Watching the maknae all flustered has always been Chanyeol's favorite thing to do.

A snorts is heard and shoulders wiggle so they get free from his grip but Chanyeol doesn't let's Sehun escape from his hold.

"Hold on, butler!", the older says, squeezing Sehun closer then the boy tries to flee again with more strength than before. "I am not done talking yet.", the giant exclaims and Sehun complies, eyes casted down when he decides to listen to his elder.

"You know that Luhan isn't the easy type of lover. Yo