“Luhan ge!” Tao exclaimed as he saw Luhan by his door that afternoon.

“Tao! How are you doing?” Luhan grinned, walking fast towards the younger’s bed to hug him tightly. He had been missing Tao’s cheerful personality, and to see it coming back made him happy.

“I am good, I am good!” he replied in excitement, arms thrown around Luhan’s figure, “They changed my bandages to the thinner one, and the nurse said they were healing well, and my feet are getting better, they didn’t sting anymore when I walk on them, and they said my blood work came back good this morning and I would be able to get out of the hospital soon, but I still need to come back for therapies, and I—“

“Whoa, whoa, breathe, Tao,” Luhan laughed at Tao’s speech and face as he pulled back, “Oh man, it’s different to see that nose on the picture Suho sent me and for real!”

Luhan reached out his hand to touch Tao’s clown nose, “Wah! It’s squishy!”

Tao nodded, still in the same excitement, “Yes, yes, and it smelled like candy!”

Luhan squinted his eyes in suspicion. This cheerfulness felt weird, “What did you eat?”

“Nothing!” Tao jumped on his bed.

“Whoa easy there grasshopper. Not nothing, what did you eat?” Luhan stared at Tao, both hands on his hip.

“He ate the whole bag of gummy worms. The family pack one,” Dr. Shim appeared from the door, shaking his head, “I told Kyu not to give him the whole bag,”

“Gahaha!” Tao laughed, jumping again.

Luhan turned and grinned, “Yeah, this happens when Tao meets sugar. Hello, I’m Luhan,”


“Hello, Mr. Luhan, sir. I’m Dr. Shim, ZiZi’s surgeon,” Dr. Shim extended his hand, which Luhan took gladly.


“ZiZi?” Luhan laughed, “How’s his condition, doc? I wasn’t able to visit until today, but I suppose, he’s improving?” he asked.

“Oh, he is. His condition improved a lot, his visitors were so kind, bringing food all the time, and sometimes stayed the whole day. Myeonnie-ssi and Kyunggie-ssi and Baekkie-ssi, and then the one he called Mr. Lee, yesterday Yeollie-ssi and Kkamjong-ssi visit with Baekkie-ssi and Kyunggie-ssi too. That Kyunggie-ssi, he made good food. He gave Kyu a container of kimchi spaghetti and beef stew. The kid was so happy,” Dr. Shim chuckled.

“And then he gave me more legos!!” Tao yanked his pillow, revealing more lego pieces under it.

Luhan smiled, “Yes, he’s the cook of the gang,” he said as he peered towards Tao’s pillow.

“Oh hello, I didn’t realize we have a guest,” Dr. Cho came into Tao’s room too, standing between Luhan and Dr. Shim.

“Hello, you must be Dr. Cho,” Luhan greeted Dr. Cho, extending his hand towards the doctor.

“And you must be Luhannie! ZiZi talked so much about you!” Dr. Cho took Luhan’s hand excitedly.

“I did not, you crazy Spongebob!” Tao exclaimed, his eyes disappear in his wide smile.

“Hah, I suppose you ate all the gummy worms?” Dr. Cho grinned, ruffling Tao’s dark locks.

Tao nodded frantically, “It was so good!!” he giggled.

“I told you, Kyu,” said Dr. Shim, shaking his head.

“Mr. Luhannie-ssi, do you like lollipops?” Dr. Cho asked, shoving his hand into his pocket.

“Oooh! Me, me! I like it!!” Tao raised his hand.

“Yes?” Luhan responded, eyeing the doctor.

“Well, I have some here, I will give it to you, because you can stay still where you’re standing,” Dr. Cho said as he handed Luhan an apple lollipop.

“Me! I can do it too!” Tao exclaimed, jumping on his bed again.

“Oh dear! I could not see that~” Dr. Cho sung. Dr. Shim chuckled behind him.

Tao sat straight on his bed, trying to sit still. It was 5 seconds until he finally burst out laughing, “My nose smelled like candy!!”

Luhan laughed, “The only thing that can make him shut up is if he sleep the sugar off, or if you tire him,”

“Ah, I see,” a spark appeared in Dr. Cho’s eye, his gaze turned mischievous, “Well Tao, lets start your therapy, shall we?”

And so, Dr. Cho made Tao went through a 6 hours straight hand and walk therapy session.

“Hoaaaaahmm,” Tao yawned as he woke up. He had dozed off straight after his prolonged therapy session. Dr. Cho joined him at today’s session and made him stack all the wooden cubes and walk around the therapy ward with Taemin. Strength on his left hand is back, but his right needed more exercise. Dr. Cho grinned happily when Tao almost took his clown nose off (“Yeah you failed!! Well, I guess I’m only going to discharge you once you can take that off on your own!” he shrieked before flicking the red ball on Tao’s nose to annoy him, who’s coming back from his sugar high by the end of the therapy), and rewarded him with a new drawing of poop (this time in bright purple) on Tao’s right bandage.

“Tired, Tao?” Luhan smiled, putting the magazine he was reading aside.

“Aaaah, my arm felt sore,” Tao whined as he turned his body to the right side of the bed, where Luhan was sitting.

“Still my childish brother,” Luhan ruffled Tao’s hair.

“Why are you still here, Ge?” Tao asked, grinning sheepishly.

“Why can’t I? I haven’t been able to visit you, so I’m using my time to the fullest now,” Luhan said, pretending to be sad, handing Tao a chocolate chunk muffin from a paper bag beside him.

Tao giggled as he accepted the fragrant pastry, “Thank you, ge,”

“Anytime,” he smiled. Luhan waited for Tao to take his first bite before continuing, “Actually, Tao, I wanted to talk to you about something,”

“Hmn?” Tao hummed, looking up from his muffin.

“Okay… Your plan is off for this year. I know you can still go for the later intake, but you know there’s no way we’re letting you go easily after what happened,” Luhan said seriously, sitting on the foot of Tao’s bed, “And at the same time, we would not let you skip college this year either. With that in mind, would you go to the same university as Suho and I? I mean, our school has a very good business department, and I speak from my own experience. You’d get to learn a lot of things, and people are really nice over there. Well, they could also be very competitive since the school is the best one in the country after all, but I know you’d have no difficulties with that. You are smart, and I don’t want you to waste it. I promise, if you agree, you wouldn’t regret going there. A lot of guest professors and speakers often came to school, and they taught us a lot of things that you could never get from a book, and the student organizations and clubs were plenty, whatever you want to do, we have a club for it. And since it’s a little far to go back and fort everyday from your house, you could share a place with me, Joonmyeon, Chanyeol, and Baekhyun too, we could go and look for a bigger place… And I can wake you up in the morning and we could drive to school together too! I have been accepted into the Master’s program there…”

Tao tilted his head, “Going to school with you?”

“Ah, it’s okay if you don’t want to, if you still want to go to England and take a preparation class or something for this year, but I personally think it would be a waste of your time and intelligence, and Chanyeol is enrolling this year too, so you’d have a friend who enter at the same time and I think maybe it’ll be good, so—“

“Sure,” Tao cut him, “I’d like to go,” he smiled.

“Really? Because actually one of the reason I just had the time to visit you was because I’m already registering you, and I need to take care of all those administrations stuff,”

“What??”

“Ahh, I’m sorry but I don’t want you to get left behind in your education. College is important, Tao, and those professors were so eager to have you once I showed them your score recordsh,” Luhan buried is face on Tao’s blanket.

“What program did you enroll me in, Ge?” Tao asked, curious.

“Business, just like your plan… Don’t be mad at me, Tao? Please?” Luhan peeked from the blanket.

Tao giggled, “Now who’s childish?”

“Aaah seriously, Panda, I spent three days only to take care of those administrations crap, if you refuse to go and let my hard work go to waste—“

“Geez, chill, Ge. Haha! Sure, I’d go,” Tao grinned.

“Really?”

Tao took a deep breath before replying, “Yes,”

“Good! Good decision!” Luhan exclaimed, rising up to ruffle Tao’s hair again.

“What’s a good decision?” Suho joined them all of a sudden, appearing on the door with a paper bag in his hand.

“Oh! Suho hyung!” Tao beamed, ”What is that?” he pointed to the paper bag.

“I just picked it up, this is cream soup from Mr. Lee,” Suho wiggled the paper bag a little.

“Ooooh! I want, hyung!”

The three of them ate together. Mr. Lee had packed extra soup, just in case Tao’s friends visited him, and thank God he did, because all of them ate like there’s no tomorrow. Tao especially, who’s depending on whatever his friends bought him for meal, because there’s no way in heavens and hell he would touch his hospital food. They were talking about what Luhan just told Tao when a voice chimed in.

“Omo! That smelled good!! What is that??” a pink scrubs popped at Tao’s door.

“Yah! Kyu! Don’t disturb ZiZi!” Dr. Shim’s voice was heard, then the pink scrubs disappeared. By the sound of it, it seemed like Dr. Shim had dragged Dr. Cho away again.

Even Tao laughed at the commotion outside his room.

“Well, I have to go now, okay, Tao? I will visit again soon, I need your signatures for some documents,” Luhan stood up, ruffling Tao’s hair again.

Tao nodded before pulling Luhan into a tight hug, “Thank you, gege..”

Luhan chuckled, “Anytime, panda.. Just call me if you need anything, okay?”

Tao nodded again, still hugging Luhan tightly. He was so grateful.

“Be careful on your way back, okay? You’re not sleepy, aren’t you?” Suho asked Luhan, who was chuckling and hugging Tao back.

“No, I’m wide awake, don’t worry,” Luhan shot them a smile before pulling away and finally left Tao’s bedroom.

“So, how was your day?” Suho asked Tao while he fix the younger’s bed sheets.

“I went on therapy again today, hyung. My left hand is good now,” Tao smiled.

“How was sleeping? Have you been sleeping well?”

Tao bit his lip, looking down to his bed sheets.

“No?” Suho smiled, then climbed on Tao’s bed, sitting in front of him, “It’s not well, eh? Were you thinking about something?”

“A lot..” Tao mumbled.

“Want to tell me?” Suho asked softly.

“I don’t know how to put it in words,” Tao looked up to meet Suho’s eyes.

“Is it that complicated?” Suho asked again, the same smile plastered on his face.

Tao nodded again.

“Well, do you think meditation will help?”

“I don’t know.. It’s been a long time since I meditate, hyung..”

“Wanna try?”

Tao pouted, and nodded. He sat straight, positioning himself on his usual meditation pose. He closed his eyes, trying to empty his mind.

It was barely two minutes when he sighed in frustration, “I can’t, hyung…”

“Try again?”

Tao closed his eyes for the second. They were closed longer this time, but a deep frown emerged on Tao’s forehead.

He opened his eyes again, releasing a deep heavy sigh.

Suho smiled, wiped the dark circles under Tao’s eye, “You won’t be able to fix your exhaustion if you don’t get rid of that complicated knot inside your head...”

“I know,” Tao jutted his lip.

Suho chuckled, “Want to try again? Here, give me your hands. I’ll meditate with you,”

Tao stared at Suho, who was nodding encouragingly. He sighed before extending both of his hands, which Suho hold in his own, placing them in between their bodies. Suho closed his eyes, then Tao followed.

“Relax, okay?” he heard the elder said.

And he did. It was easier with Suho there, somehow. Voices outside of him were easily blocked out, and his breathing was evening out. Soon his mind was empty and he felt more relaxed. His only focus was his own breathing, which was in rhyme with Suho’s.

Tao meditated again for the first time in almost two months.

Dr. Cho popped up again in the morning with a bright minions scrubs, checking up on Tao as usual. Tao squinted his eyes as the always-happy doctor yanked his curtain open.

“Goooood morning, ZiZi!” he exclaimed, with his cheery voice.

“Meh,” Tao responded, turning on his bed.

“Good morning, doc,” Suho yawned on the couch beside Tao’s bed. He had slept over after helping Tao to meditate; to make sure Tao had a good sleep. Which, the younger did.

“Nu-uh, come here, give me your arm, I need to take your blood sample,” Dr. Cho poked Tao’s .

Tao extended his arm without opening his eyes.

“ZiZiiii~ wake uuuuupppp,” Dr. Cho whined as he took Tao’s blood sample.

“Hanmnshdbdlll” Tao mumbled into his pillow.

“Ah!” Dr. Cho pulled Tao’s right cheek, “How can I discharge you when you’re the highlight of my day! Alright, all set!” he handed the small tube to a nurse, who nodded then exit Tao’s room.

“Tao, I got to go, okay,” Suho said as he stood up after he looked at his watch, “I’ll have Luhan come by your house and get your food, then he’ll go here. Baekhyun also said that he’ll come today,”

“Hanmmndkcbaaaa” Tao mumbled again, shifting his head on the pillow.

“Yes, yes,” Suho pressed a kiss on Tao’s head then rushed out of the room, already late for his class, “Bye, doc!”

Dr. cho waved towards Suho before turning to the boy in the bed, “ZiZiiiii,” he nudged Tao’s shoulder, “Wake uuuupppp,”

Tao groaned.

Dr. Cho glanced at Tao’s cup of water. He put his hand into his pocket, rummaging for a while before pulling out a small pipette. He dipped the glass pipette into Tao’s cup, then brought it above Tao’s earlobe, letting drops of water fell on it.

Tao jumped on his bed as soon as the cold water seeped into his ear, “What was that??”

“Water, don’t worry!” Dr. Cho grinned.

“Ah whyyyy,” Tao whined, “I am a patient, I am allowed to sleep until late,”

“I just want you to wake up and have breakfast with me,” Dr. Cho reached for a paper bag under Tao’s bed, then started to set croissants and fresh fruits on Tao’s desk, “And I only have twenty minutes before my next surgery,”

“Why do you keep pulling out all unthinkable things out of nowhere??”

“It is a skill. And I’m just that awesome,” he winked.

Tao pouted, but it disappeared soon after the scent of warm croissant reached his nostrils. Eyed a croissant, then glanced at Dr. Cho.

Dr. Cho chuckled, “Go on,” he nodded.

Tao reached for a croissant then ripped it in half, bringing a piece into his mouth, “Hmm!” he hummed in delight.

Dr. Cho pinched his cheek before reached a croissant for himself, “Aigoo, our ZiZi is so cute,” he said happily.

Tao scrunched his nose, his red clown nose still attached. He ripped another piece of croissant and pushed it into Dr. Cho’s mouth, who despite being surprised, chewed it anyway.

“So you’ll shut up,” Tao grinned.

Dr. Cho laughed, “I see you loved the nose so much, ZiZi!”

“I didn’t,” Tao replied, continued ripping pieces of croissant and throwing them into his mouth, “I still think it’s stupid,”

“Ah, why don’t you take it off then?” Dr. Cho raised one of his eyebrow.

“I can’t,” Tao mumbled, his right cheek filled with croissant, “If I can, I would,”

“Why is that?”

“My hand is still stupid,”

“Now now, Tao. Don’t be cocky. Well, I think oblivious is the more appropriate word for this, but didn’t you realize you have been eating the croissant with your right hand?”

Tao’s movement halted, his hand stopped in the air. His gaze went to his right hand that’s still gripping a piece of warm croissant. His eyes widened.

“Holy—“

“No cursing!” Dr. Cho shoved a piece of apple into Tao’s mouth.

“NGANYA AAAAAAAK!!!” Tao shrieked, trying to gulp all the food in his mouth, “NGA NGAAAAADDD!!”

“Yes, yes,” Dr. Cho smiled, slipped Tao’s straw between his lips, forcing the younger to chew and swallow all the food.

Tao threw the croissant to his desk, then brought his hand to the clown nose.

“You feel the little crook inside? Squeeze it, then pull it off,” Dr. Cho instructed.

And Tao did. The clown nose fell onto his bed sheet, rolling to his feet before stopping near Dr. Cho’s thigh.

“IT’S OOOOFFF!!!” Tao yelled, throwing both hands into the air.

“It is! Ah I guess I should discharge you now, eh?” Dr. Cho sighed playfully.

“Gahaha! Now I can go get all the gummy worms I want without you bullying me!” Tao stuck his tongue out as Dr. Cho slapped the back of his head, “Ow!”

“Now that you’re healthy, I can bully you even more!” Dr. Cho laughed again.

Tao grinned, “I’d like to see you try before I wushu your ,”

“Ah, our Tao, so violent,” Dr. Cho reached into his pocket again, pulling out a jawbreaker, “I guess you don’t want this, then?”

“I want!!” Tao tried to snatch the candy ball from Dr. Cho’s hand.

“Nu uh uh, not until we talk,” he said.

Tao pouted, “You always want something from me,”

“Believe me, if I really want something from you, I’d give more than candy,” Dr. Cho grinned, “Do you still have the legos I gave you?”

Tao nodded, “It’s here,” he pulled his pillow up, then collected all the lego pieces, putting them on the desk. There are ten pieces of them now, all in different sizes and colors.

“Do you know what they are?”

“Legos,” Tao answered.

Dr. Cho shook his head, “If that’s the answer I’m looking for, I’m not going to ask,” he mocked.

“Well what do you want me to say they are lego pieces!”

“That represents a lot of things,” Dr. Cho pushed one piece toward’s Tao, “This is Joonmyeonnie,” then he pushed another one, “Baekkie,” he continues pushing one piece of lego as he mentions all names, “Kyunggie, Yeollie, Kkamjong, Luhannie, Mr. Lee. This is me, Changminnie, Taeminnie. And, this—“ he reached for his pocket again before pulling out a green, flat lego, ”—is you,”

Tao stared at the lego pieces on the desk, his index finger poked his green lego.

“See? All different shapes and colors, all here to help you, you just need to put them together with you, don’t worry about anything else, okay,” Dr. Cho said sincerely, then pulling out another red piece of lego, “And this, is for that significant person that sent you here. The bastard better treat you better or I’ll wushu the bastard’s . And I don’t even know how to wushu,” he chuckled, “But I’ll harm him some way,”

Tao stared at the doctor, curious.

“I know nothing about that red piece, but there must be a reason you harm yourself like that,” he smiled.

'Yes. His name is Kris,' he thought.

“Don’t let your future slip, Zi. You’re gonna meet a lot more lego pieces waiting to be assembled together with you. Don’t worry about what has happened. Don’t worry about what the future brings. Trust people around you. You, kid,” he flicked Tao’s nose, “have a major rebuilding to do. You just worry about that, but nothing else. One step at a time, okay? Get yourself together and move on, I don’t want to see you here as a patient again. The next time we meet, we’ll go eat ice cream, okay?”

Tao’e eyes brimmed with tears, but they were happy tears. He smiled, it was sincere, and beautiful.

Dr. Cho eyed Tao, patting his head, “Well. I’d better start on those discharge papers for you,”

Tao nodded as Dr. Cho rose from his bed, taking a croissant with him.

“Thank you—“ Tao said, and Dr. Cho looked back at him, smiling.

“—Hyunnie” Tao finished.

Dr. Cho’s eyes widened, “What did you say?”

“Thank you,” Tao answered.

“After that?”

Tao pursed his lips.

“Repeat!!” Dr. Cho returned to Tao’s bedside, demanding.

“……… Hyunnie,” Tao mumbled, his cheeks turned pink. He hated having to call the crazy doctor with the nickname he created himself, but he did feel thankful towards the loony. It doesn’t hurt to make him happy does it?

Wrong.

“Aaaaaah our ZiZiiiiiii~” Dr. Cho sang as he pinched both Tao’s cheeks, purposely making Tao swung side to side, “So cuuuuuteeee!! I will make Myeonnie bring you here often!!”

“Ngeeeeee!” Tao tried to speak, his cheeks reddeded from Dr. Cho's pinch.

“Oh shush,” he ruffled Tao’s head again, before giving him the jawbreaker, “There you go. See you, ZiZi!”

Tao picked up the green lego, bringing up to his eye level, “the future,”

He sighed before putting all the lego pieces into the paper bag Dr. Cho left, all of them except the red lego. Dr. Cho was right. He needed to move on. Tao pushed the red lego under his pillow, then picked up his cellphone. He searched for a name in his contact then brought the phone to his ears when he found it. It was two rings before Luhan picked it up.

“Hello? Tao?”

“Ge, I need new number, and new cellphone. Would you bring them for me when you pick me up?” Tao said, a small smile graced his lips. 'One step at a time' he reminded himself.

“Sure! Wait. Pick you up? You can go home??”

Tao laughed, “Yes, Ge,”

“Wait for me, okay? I’ll get Baekhyun first,”

“Un!” Tao smiled happily. He’s ready to start anew.