By midnight Tao was clean and comfortable in his panda pajamas, curled up warm and cozy under his blue comforter. He refused to be moved from the couch though, even when Suho and Kris tried to carry him to his room. So he was still there, lying on a stack of pillows as a thick immobile cocoon. Kris was still there too, sitting on a loveseat next to him, just staring with unwavering concern.

Does fever supposed to be this high? Isn’t Tao supposed to eat more than a bowl of strawberry and three spoons of fish ball soup? Will the pills Suho made him drink cure him fast? Is it working at all, because Tao has fallen asleep right after he drank his meds and that was three hours ago but his cheeks are still flushed?

Kris rolled his sleeves higher, pressing Tao’s fever patch on the younger’s forehead. Is this thing even function? It’s already warm. Is he supposed to change it to the new one? Kris reached his hand to the coffee table where the wrapper is. He squinted as he read the instruction on its back. No, it says it will last for a good twelve hours.

Kris glanced at Tao’s face. The younger’s lips were pale white, and his breathing was heavy, like the way an antique car would sound. Kris sighed as he run his thumb on Tao’s hair. He doesn’t like this.

“You want to change too?” Kris turned to his side where the voice comes from, “My pajamas would hung on your , but I think Tao wouldn’t mind you to wear his,” Suho suddenly appeared all smile and calm, had changed into his sky blue striped pajamas.

“No, I am good, thanks,” Kris answered nonchalantly, pushing strands of hair off Tao’s forehead. His hands touched the skin and it was still burning, “He’s not better yet,” he turned, eyes screams worries into Suho’s.

Suho took a deep breath, “Yes. Fever had always been Tao’s worst weakness,” he said, frowning as he slipped his hands into the mountain of blanket that is Tao’s cocoon and pushed the other’s feet into fuzzy socks he brought with him to make Tao feel warmer, earning a low unconscious hum from the latter, “We had managed to make him drink his medicine, though. He would get better soon,”

Kris nodded, thinking, “Good thing it’s weekend tomorrow, he could rest,” he replied, eyes back to Tao who was still sleeping soundly.

“You need rest too,” Suho said softly, smiling at him.

Kris looked back up towards Suho, hesitating if he even should said this knowing Suho and Tao are together now, but he really wanted to do this thing he had been thinking about.

He finally stood up and turned to Suho, “Actually, if you don’t mind, I.. I would like to stay here for the night..” Kris watched Suho’s expression carefully, waiting for his reaction.

When Suho simply widened his eyes, he added, “I know you and Tao are—“

“It’s alright,” Suho cut him, waving his hand, “It’s totally alright, and of course you may. Please let me know if you need anything, or if he wakes up,”

“I am sorry,” Kris hurriedly added, feeling like Suho needed to know he didn’t mean to be rude by overstaying his welcome, nor by looking like he’s trying to win Tao back. Well at least that’s not his intention right now at the moment.

“I know you are more than capable to take care of him, especially on times like this, but—“

“I am,” Suho cut Kris again, his previous soft expression disappeared, a fierce look plastered on his face.

The two remained silent for a good minute as Suho continued to gaze through Kris.

Kris couldn’t really point what emotion was hidden behind Suho’s stare, but he almost sure there’s a hint of anger. Suho suddenly looked so protective of Tao in Kris’ own eyes and he knew that’s how it’s supposed to be. He couldn’t help it but to feel jealous and out of place. He wanted to be the one in Suho’s shoes. He wanted to be protective over Tao too.

“And I hope you could do the same. You could have,” Suho added, still locking the same stare on Kris.

Suho’s words silenced the other.

Kris blinked a couple times, thinking deeply, “I know I have messed up,”

Suho took a deep breath, taking his time to give a reply. He continued to stare at Kris, not even blinking for a second. It was almost intimidating for the other.

“It’s not my business, and it’s not the time. I shouldn’t have said anything,” he finally said.

Kris locked his eyes on Suho’s, “No, it’s alright. I know what it feels like to want to protect someone you love,”

Suho raised both his eyebrows at Kris’ words in amusement. He just realized what the other thought of him, reading Kris like an open book. So that’s why he had been worrying so much and looking lost before finally asking for his permission to stay. This idiot really is dense. Suho chuckled lowly, then pursed his lips, pulling both corners to an understanding smile. Two can play this game.

“Are you staying here to try to make up for what you did? Because if it is, it’s useless,”

Kris blinked at Suho’s remark, smiling softly as he remembers his own reason to stay.

“No, I am following my heart. I know that Tao hates me now, but I can’t leave him. I can’t leave him again. I am so sorry. I know this would take so much of you, and I can’t ask for anymore favor from you than this, but.. I really need...” he turned to Tao, looking at him softly, “Him,”

Suho followed Kris’ gaze, looking at Tao softly too.

If Kris is too stupid to see the obvious, maybe he should shove it to his face, “You know that—“

“Yes, I know,” Kris cut him, turned to Suho again. He really doesn’t want to say it out loud, that he knew Suho and Tao are together, because deep in his heart he still hopes it was not true. He doesn’t want to say it, because he was not ready to accept nor admit the fact that Tao had replaced him, “I know, that is why I said I am asking you a really big favor. Just tonight? I promise after this I would not..” Kris stopped to take a deep breath, stopping himself from making a promise he knew he could never keep. He could not stop trying to win Tao back, or at least to try to be close with the younger,  “I just can’t leave him like this,” he decided to say.

Suho smiled, reading Kris’ mind easily, “Maybe you don’t have to,” he said as he walked closer towards Tao, decided to tease Kris a little.

Slowly, Suho leaned down, pressing a kiss on Tao’s temple.

“Hmmn,” Tao hummed, inhaling deeply. He stirred a little, settling his head on a lump of pillow. Suho smiled, patting Tao’s head before planting another kiss on his hair.

“Get well soon, baby,” Suho whispered, rubbing Tao’s temple softly. He glanced from the corner of his eyes, making sure Kris watch the scene. When he is, he turned and head for the room next door, carefully hiding his smirk, “I’m going to bed, please wake me up if something happens,”

A big question mark popped into Kris’ mind, how is it that Suho let him stay next to Tao easily while he stayed on the other room? If it was him, he would stay here in the same room to make sure the other won’t do something funny to Tao. Many questions flood his head but he nodded anyway, “Sure,”

Kris watched as Suho disappeared into his room. He then turned and sat back on the loveseat, watching Tao sleeping. It was unnecessary, but he pulled Tao’s comforter closer, trying to make him feel more comfortable.

Tao stirred again in his sleep, and Kris stopped his movement.

Tao sighed, a whimper escaped his throat.

Kris stepped closer, caressing Tao’s left cheek with his palm, “It’s okay, I’m here,” he whispered softly.

Tao reached his palm from beneath the comforter and Kris’ instinct made him reach his own too. Kris captured Tao’s hand while Tao held Kris’ hand tightly, then his pillow, pressing his cheek to Kris’ warm hand.

Tao’s cheek was really warm. His temperature hasn’t lowered even a little. It felt hot on his hand after a minute, but Kris doesn’t mind. He moved closer and sat on the floor next to the couch to accommodate his hand position better.

Kris’ eyes examined the younger’s face, realizing that Tao’s eyes were moist. A tear escaped the latter’s eye and again by instinct Kris ran his other thumb, wiping the tear away. Tao whimpered again.

“Hey, baby.. Why are you crying?” Kris asked softly, caressing the top of Tao’s head.

Tao frowned as more tears escaped his eyes. His lips parted, a low incomprehensible mumble was heard.

“What is it, Tao?” Kris whispered, leaning closer to try and decipher what Tao said.

Another tear escaped his closed eyelids, “Ge.. Yi.. Fan ge..”

Kris smiled softly, feeling more than happy that it turned out that Tao was calling him, “Yes, Tao, I am here..” he said through his smile.

“My eyes.. are burning..” Tao whimpered, more tears flow from his eyes.

Kris looked to the table and reached for the wet handkerchief he used earlier, dabbing it slowly on Tao’s eyes.

“Cold…” Tao whispered; his frown got deeper, moving his face away from Kris’ touch.

“Just a little, it’ll go away soon,” Kris replied softly, continuing to dab the handkerchief.

“Ge.. Still burns..” he whimpered again.

“Hmm? Let me try this,” Kris hummed as he leaned down, kissing each of Tao’s eyes. He knew if Luhan saw this he would accuse him of taking advantage, but Kris isn’t. He really wanted for Tao to be comfortable, “Feel better?”

“Hmm,” he whined, “gege..”

“Yes, Taozi..” Kris whispered back, his face only inches away from the other’s.

“Ge..” Tao whispered faintly, “Stay..”

Kris smiled, caressing Tao’s head again. Everything Tao did, even in this state, made him want nothing but to be with him. He wants Tao back with all his might, but the other had chosen Suho and there’s nothing he could do about it. His smile turned into a sad smile, tears threatened to spill. He regretted everything he had done, he regretted being a coward. But right now, he would let himself bask in the comfort the younger managed to give him despite his condition. He would let himself be happy with the younger’s presence next to him, because tomorrow, tomorrow Tao would be back with Suho and he would be alone again.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Kris mumbled into Tao’s hair, closing his own eyes.

The next morning Kris woke up to a not so strange voice making a conversation with someone he couldn’t hear.

Kris tried to open his eyes, one at a time.

When he did, a flock of raven hair greeted him.

Tao’s.

“…Yes, auntie, Tao is still here,” the voice continues, “He has fever; I don’t want to wake him up… It’s all right, auntie, we will take care of him… I am sure he would like that. Yes, I would be here for the weekend… Oh no, auntie, I don’t have practice this weekend, please don’t worry. Suho and I would take care of Tao… Yes, auntie, I know he made you promised not to come here when he’s here... Hmm… Of course, I will be home… Sure, you are most welcome, I would tell Tao that you called,”

Kris slowly lifted his head from the couch where he fell asleep on. He glanced at Tao, who was still sleeping soundly. Gently, Kris pressed his hand on Tao’s forehead, feeling his temperature. The fever was still there but it was not as high. Thank goodness.

Kris straightened his seating, his bone cracking from the position he had been sleeping in the whole night. His back felt a little sore, but nothing he couldn’t manage.

“Yes auntie, I will… Yes… Bye, auntie…”

Kris finally turned to where the voice comes from.

Near the kitchen counter, a man shorter than him was standing with a phone in his hand, a note on the other, “I see you have waken up. Good, it’s nine already. Suho has left for the hospital,” he waved the note.

Kris eyed the note then cleared his throat, “Hello,”

“What are you doing here?” Baekhyun asked curtly.

Surprised, Kris was taken aback for a moment, frowning trying to remember this person in front of him. He knew he knew him somewhere. Someone Tao had introduced him to in the past. Took him a moment to remember the name, but he finally did,  “Baekhyun, right?”

“Yes,” Baekhyun nodded slightly, “I am not going to ask for the second time,”

Sensing rejection in Baekhyun’s behavior, Kris carefully removed his hand that was still under Tao’s cheek, lifting the younger’s head a little so he wouldn’t get awaken and stood, “Tao got fever,”

Baekhyun gave him a look, “So I figured, but that does not answer my question,”

“I took him here,”

“It doesn’t give you a reason to stay,” Baekhun said, setting his phone on the kitchen counter, folding his hands in front of his chest.

Kris lifted both eyebrows, “Tao asked me to,”

Baekhyun maintained the look he gave Kris, not believing a single thing the other told him.

Kris took a deep breath, knowing Baekhyun wouldn’t stop giving him the attitude, “Look, did Suho ask you to come and take care of him? Because if he did, actually I am available too, if you need to go somewhere else,”

Baekhyun raised one eyebrow, “In your dreams, like I would leave you and Tao alone. Not in this life, Kris Wu. Now get your stuff and please leave,”

“I’m sorry?” Kris never remembered Tao having a rude friend.

“You heard me. I would never. Ever. Let you in his life anymore, you idiot of a man, you have made him go through enough suffering, and I am not going to stand here and let you do the same thing all over again because if you do, I would never hold myself from tearing you apart anymore so help me God,” Baekhyun took one step closer.

Kris held both hands in front of his chest, “Look, I understand if you’re mad at me, but—“

“Mad?? I am beyond mad!” Baekhyun stomped his foot, “You are the reason he almost took his life away, you ing bastard, and you think I am mad at you??!”

Kris’ eyes widened and his feet felt heavy as he stunned in place.

Tao was going to take his own life away?

“What… What did you just say?” Kris stuttered in disbelief, unable to imagine if Tao had really did it.

He turned to Tao’s sleeping figure, eyes wide. He couldn’t believe his Tao; his innocent Tao would even think to do that.

“Newsflash, Sherlock!” Baekhyun gritted his teeth, hatred infused in every words.

Kris was still staring at Tao. Was that true, Tao? He wished Tao would wake up for a moment and tell him that it wasn’t. Because if it was and Tao did left, his own world would have been destroyed. He would not be able to live anymore. No. Anything but that. Not Tao. Anything but Tao.

Kris reached his trembling hand towards Tao, but stopped upon Baekhyun’s venomous sentence.

“Don’t you dare touch him again,” Baekhyun said coldly, “Don’t. You. Dare,”

Kris slowly turned towards Baekhyun.

To the younger’s surprise, his eyes were moist with tears, “I.. Did he really..” Kris stuttered.

Something tugged Baekhyun’s heart and he felt a slight pity on this lost puppy looking man in front of him. Of course it’s a surprise for him. How would he know, 5 years with no contact at all? But Baekhyun pursed his lips, not wanting to be effected by elder’s expression. He had made up his mind since a long time ago. He would not let Tao mourn and endanger himself anymore. Not if he could help it.  

“This is what you did to him. He is okay right now, until you came back. Why? Why now?” Baekhyun needed a good reason, even though whatever Kris said would make no difference for him.

“I.. I was.. I don’t know, all I know is I needed him, Baekhyun, I can’t live—,”

Wrong answer.

“Have you ever thought that was exactly how he felt when you left?” Baekhyun cut, feeling his anger bubbling up again, “Have you ever for a second, stopped being a selfish and actually think?? What do you think he felt when you left? What do you think he would do? He told you every single detail, about himself, and how he felt alone, and you had became someone he trusted to be able to be his company. He trusted you even though he had just met you! That was how innocent and trusting he was to you and you feed him with all those bull about being together! How could you let him believe in such lies while you left him just like that?? He struggled, to pick up the shattered pieces of his life after you left,” Baekhyun hissed, “And you dare said you needed him, that you can’t live??”

Kris was about to respond, when Tao stirred and whined in his sleep, inhaling deeply.

Both of them carefully watched Tao as he frowned again, curling himself inside the blanket.

Baekhyun’s expression changed in a blink of an eye. He worriedly stepped closer to the couch; purposely bump his shoulder hard on Kris’.

Kris stood still, finding it difficult to move and process all this new information at once. He had spent his every day in England thinking about what he did for sure, he’s not a heartless man after all. About him and Tao, and about what Tao is doing, how is he after he left, and everything about Tao he could ever think of. Nevertheless, he had never thought that what had happened had this impact on Tao nor the fact that in a such short amount of time they had been together he had became someone that means this much to the younger. Every possible scenario he had ever thought of flew out of the window and everything Baekhyun just told him was more real and harsh, especially when the words were slapped with no care on his face.

He watched in silence when Baekhyun cooed Tao, while the latter whimpered into his pillow, pulling his blanket closer. Baekhyun replaced Tao’s fever patch with a new one, gently running his fingers through Tao’s hair.

“You should go,” Baekhyun said without looking at him, “Your presence only made him worse,”

Tao stirred again, sighing deeply, tugging on his blanket restlessly. Baekhyun mumbles next to Tao’s ears, “Hey Tao.. What is it? Is it cold?”

Tao didn’t answer, but he made noises none of the older could decipher.

“I am sorry for being noisy, I promise I would stop talking so loudly,” Baekhyun cooed, softly caressed Tao’s cheek. The obvious anger that was plastered on his face before disappeared just like that. Kris would be amazed, if they were in another situation.

Tao lifted his fist, rubbing his reddened cheek, “Ge..” he whispered, his frown got deeper.

The sight of Tao in front of him breaks Kris’ heart again; he wanted nothing than to be there for Tao, but then it hit him, that maybe Baekhyun was right : he’s making it worse by being selfish yet again. Tao was happy with Suho until he came back. How would he know that he was doing the right thing not just for himself but for Tao too? He was not supposed to be selfish anymore, wasn’t he? He had learned from everything that had happened, right?

“Go,” Baekhyun finally turned to him, his eyes full of authority. Kris has to go, before Tao actually wake up, before he ruined everything Baekhyun had worked so hard for: Tao’s own happiness.

Kris watched for a couple minutes as Tao keep on fumbling under his blanket, clearly still not feeling better. Kris reached his hand towards Tao, wanting to calm him just the way he did the night before.

He was so close, but he ended up hesitating, pulling his hands back midway.

Pressing his lips together, Kris stepped back, finally nodded, “I’ll be going then,”

He headed to the door slowly, eyes still locked on Tao who was now crying with his eyes closed, restless under his blanket; even in his unconscious state Tao tried to prevent Kris from leaving him again.

Baekhyun followed, opening the door for him. When one of Kris’ feet was outside the door, Baekhyun pulls the door close little by little, limiting Kris’ sight of the younger.

With one last glance towards Tao, Kris finally stepped outside.

He knew he promised, even though he didn’t know whether Tao would actually remember asking him to stay.

But at this moment, Kris knew this was the right thing to do.

“Bye,” he whispered as a tear escaped his eye, which was still locked on Tao’s figure.

Baekhyun finally shut the door right in front of his face.

When he was sure Kris was no longer on the other side of the door, Baekhyun pressed his back on the door and let himself slid on the floor.

What did he do?

He was sure he was doing the right thing, until Tao whimpered and cried in his sleep, calling for his gege.

Every being on earth knows whom he meant by gege.

He watched Tao continuously fumbling under his blanket, until he finally tiring himself and fell asleep again. Baekhyun sighed in relief. At least he didn’t need to explain now.

Just like everyone around Tao, Baekhyun wanted nothing more than him to be happy. That is why, Baekhyun had always given Tao anything he wanted and needed, from making food, going shopping with him, being a friend, a shoulder to cry on, someone who Tao could go to for advices; and damn it, he had tried hard to keep him happy, especially after the incident. It’s not that he wanted anything in return, because that is not what he wanted. But being there for Tao had made him protective of the younger and he had learned it the hard way, the damage a Kris could cause to his precious Tao.

Baekhyun has no sibling. He had grown up alone but unlike Tao, he was happy. His parents were affectionate and had catered all his needs to made sure of their son’s happiness. They live a good life, meeting everyday like how an ideal family supposed to be. When he thought life couldn’t be more perfect, he met Chanyeol, who to put it simply, had completed him. His whole life, Baekhyun had felt nothing but blessed, having lived life easily since the day he was born. He viewed the world as a beautiful harmless place, where everyone too, is happy. Meeting Tao had changed that. From Tao, he had learned that there are lives far different with his own, no matter how similar their situation is. For the time they had known each other, Baekhyun had learned how to share, to become a brother, to be someone more mature and wiser to guide his younger brother. Tao is his baby. And just like another protective older sibling, it is really hard to watch his baby hurting, even risking his own life for someone he didn’t even really know.

That day he had almost lost Tao, he had sworn to himself to take a really good care of him, to motivate him to live, to encourage him to move on from his past and sadness, and find his happiness just like Baekhyun did.

And he was doing a good job; until the very cause of Tao’s breakdown returned and ruined everything he had built and worked so hard for.

Baekhyun was sure he was doing the right thing, until he realized couldn’t give the one thing Tao asked for because his belief and perspective wouldn’t let him: to let Kris back into their lives.

He was at lost.

Was he really had been doing the right thing?

Is this really for Tao’s own good, and not for his own selfish reasons?

Baekhyun’s lips were quivered as he reached for his cellphone, and dialed the number he had remembered by heart.

“Hello?” a deep voice answered, and instantly his breathing hitched.

“Chan.. Channie.. I think I had just gave Tao a reason to hate me,” Baekhyun’s voice trembled.

“Why? What happened?”

“Channie.. I just..” Baekhyun’s words were stopped by his own tears.

“………Oh Baekkie, what did you do?”

“I just don’t want him to be like that anymore, Channie... Was I too selfish?” he cried into the phone.

“No… No, baby. That’s just how much you love him...”

“I know, that’s what I wanted to believe. Am I not just rationalizing what I did? Was my reason enough to justify what I did?” Baekhyun sobbed.

“……………Baekkie, sweetheart. It’s all right. Tao would understand..”

Baekhyun chuckled sarcastically, “How could you be so sure while I doubt myself?”

Chanyeol chuckled softly before replying, “Because I know he loves you just as much as you do… That was good enough reason, right? ”

Baekhyun was too busy to cry to even reply.

“You’re home, right?”

Baekhyun still didn’t answer, just continued sobbing. He wished Chanyeol was right.

“Okay. I’m on my way there. Hang in there, baby,”

He knew Chanyeol couldn’t see him, but he nodded anyway before he ended up the phonecall. One sentence from Chanyeol and he had felt calmer, even just slightly. He needed Tao to say that too.

But right now Baekhyun hoped Chanyeol would not be mad at him when he told him what he had really done.

Tao stirred in his sleep, lifting one hand to rub his eye. He felt warm, sweaty and sticky. Opening his eyes, he struggled to kick the pile of blankets away from his body. It’s too hot.

But it was warm and comfortable last night.

Tao couldn’t remember whether it actually happened or if it was a dream but he felt like Kris was taking care of him the whole night. He felt that he was sleeping next to him, and Kris smelled really good and musky just like the way he had always been. He remembered he had rejected Kris’ request to be together again just a week ago, but he couldn’t help but to miss the older. Last night, they were closer than they were before, and Tao felt like the world was a good place to live again. He felt like he had never slept as tight as last night, when Kris was next to him. He had never felt so secured and calm.

Slowly, Tao sat straight on the couch. His back was a little sore.

He looked left and right, excited to meet the person that had taken care of him the whole night.

But there was nobody in the room.

Dragging himself to his feet, Tao stood, and started to walk towards the kitchen. It was also empty.

Maybe Kris was in the bathroom?

“Gege..” his voice small and hoarse.

Nobody answered.

Lifting his foot, Tao pulled the fuzzy socks off one by one. It’s hard to walk in them, despite how warm they are.

“Gege?” Tao called again as he walked towards the bathroom.

When he finally reached, he knocked on the white door.

No answer either.

He turned the doorknob and pushed the door open.

There’s no one inside.

Trying to pull his strength together, Tao turned and open their rooms one by one. Baekhyun’s, Suho’s and his. Everything is empty, no one is in the house.

Walking back to the living room, he stared at the foyer. Every shoes was in their place, but one pair of sandals.

So Kris was here! He was right!

Slowly he approached the front door, and just then the key clicked.

A smile crawled into his lips.

“Ge—“

“Oh, Tao is awake! How are you feeling?” Chanyeol pushed the door open, Baekhyun trailed behind him.

Stunned, Tao did not find his own voice to answer. They were sure not the one Tao was expecting. Where was Kris?

“We just bought some porridge and fruits for you,” Baekhyun put two large plastic bags on the kitchen counter, “Have you feel better?” the elder pressed his hand on his forehead.

No, this was not the same hand he felt on his forehead last night.

“I... I am alright,” Tao answered finally with his hoarse voice.

“You still have fever though. Go take a shower, then eat with us, okay?” Baekhyun suggested, pulling Tao towards the bathroom.

Tao’s eyes lingered on the pair of sandals, but looked up when Chanyeol wore them, “You want to wear these slippers, Tao?” Chanyeol asked.

Tao stared at him for a minute, before shaking his head.

So Kris was never here?

“Hyung..”

“Hmm?” Baekhyun looked at Tao, “Was something wrong, Tao?”

“Did..” Tao begun, “Was someone here last night?”

“Yeah, Suho was here. Why?” Baekhyun asked him back.

Chanyeol turned to Baekhyun, glaring at him. Tao missed it though. The damn fever clouded his eyes.

“Oh… It’s okay... I’m taking a shower then,” Tao dragged his feet to the bathroom.

So it was only a dream.

Kris was never there taking care of him.

Why would he anyway?