Date:  November 15                   

We had our first practice today, and all day, I was admittedly anxious. Main reason being the fact I wasn't sure if I was good enough. I do play several instruments, but I had no idea regarding the level of Baekhyun's piano playing or singing abilities. If his singing was as good as Kyungsoo made it out to be, I was probably the least talented out of the bunch. Jongin doesn't sing much or play instruments, but he is a fantastic dancer. He started dancing since he was really young, and he has been training in ballet and jazz dance. Even though we laugh at him when he says he'll become professional dancer and go to Juilliard one day, we all wouldn't be too surprised if it happened.

Kyungsoo may not have ever been trained in singing, nor does he sing much in public, but he knows what he's doing. I don't get to hear him sing often, but the times I've heard him the most were when he was showering. Usually it's because I'm over at his house for a LAN evening party or movie night. Something about his tone draws you in. And mind you, I heard his singing through a closed door and sounds of running water, with zero accompanying music. Now I'm no musical genius, but that tells you something.

After our last class of the day, Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, and I headed to the music room together. I had brought my acoustic guitar that morning and requested permission from the music teacher to leave it in the music room (to which he agreed to). Jongin showed up not long after we arrived, a smirk on his face and devilish twinkle in his eye. We looked at him with raised eyebrows and curious faces, to which he responded to by reaching out from behind the door...and pulling in a disheveled and grumpy Sehun. Kyungsoo asked immediately what Jongin threatened him with, and hilariously enough, it seemed like Jongin was actually going to tell us. That is, until Sehun abruptly interrupted him and proceeded to direct death glares at him. Baekhyun on the other hand was beaming. I wondered what Sehun would even perform though. He has no talents that I knew of. Well, that was, until Jongin a piece of music and proceeded to dance with Sehun. Who would've known? The normally poker faced sarcastic little kid could dance! We were thoroughly impressed and applauded them as they struck an end pose.

Next was Kyungsoo. Poor guy had his whole deer in the headlights look going on again. Actually, he looked more like a nervous owl as he stood in the front of the classroom, mic in hand,  eyes shifting back and forth. I shouted at him "You can do it!" over the start of the music, and gave him a thumbs up. Jongin and Sehun weren't s for once and started whooping and cheering him on. Baekhyun walked over to Kyungsoo and whispered something into his hair. A smile lit up on Kyungsoo's face and he looked more confident as he sang the first few words. I was admittedly curious about what he told Kyungsoo to make him smile. And a tiny bit jealous. But whatever Baekhyun said, it worked. Kyungsoo started off a bit wobbly, but he grew increasingly confident as the next line came around. Jongin and Sehun have never heard him before, and I'm sure it was pretty surprising to them that he could sing so well. I wouldn't say their jaws dropped, but they did have looks of pleasant surprise written on their faces. My jaw dropped though. Because Baekhyun started joining in.

Kyungsoo was right. There was something about their two voices merging together that was so captivating. And obviously, Baekhyun was an incredible singer with a wonderful voice. As the last note was sung, the rest of us started whistling and clapping. Kyungsoo's face was flushed pink with happiness as he took a little bow with Baekhyun. He glanced at me afterward and pointed straight at the guitar. Kyungsoo then mouthed "your turn!"

I really wasn't sure of myself at this point. All the others were so impressive, and I felt like I would just be a flop in comparison. I've always been mediocre in everything I've ever done in life. Like I said before, I'd probably fail at being a hobo because I wasn't hobo enough. I didn't feel my mediocrity was going to change anytime soon. But Baekhyun looked at me with hopeful eyes, so I reluctantly pulled my guitar out of its case and sat down in a chair as I tweaked it. I took a little while to tune it before starting to strum the strings. It was a song I knew and loved. Jason Mraz's "Live High". It was nothing fancy but I figured it would be best to just show what I knew best. Next thing I knew, I heard a voice begin singing along to my playing. Baek.

He had sat down beside me and was softly singing along with the music, smiling even though he was just mumbling the words. He clearly barely knew the words (lyrics being in English and all) but he sounded so good. His voice was perfect with acoustic guitar and this kind of music. I found lips turning upward into a smile as I continued to play, and he continued humming and mumbling the words. I relished in this feeling, of both of us joining together to create beautiful sounding music. I forgot that the others were even in the room. I just kept my eyes on Baekhyun and my guitar the entire time, watching as those beautiful sounds came out of his perfect lips. He smiled back at me has he moved side to side with the music. It ended too soon for my liking. I could spend all afternoon just strumming along as he sang. I couldn't help but give a little content sigh as I strummed the last notes, still staring back at him. It felt like an eternity that we just sat there in silence, without a word, just looking at one another.

I was unfortunately brought back to reality as Jongin's voice broke through rudely with a "Are you two done staring at each other yet?" I scowled at him as Baekhyun gave a small nervous cough and stood up. He walked over to the piano and sat down. "I'm last," he simply said, and placed his hands on the keys.

Mesmerizing. That's one way to describe it. I never noticed it before, and I don't know how I didn't, but his hands are small and his fingers delicate. They are such pretty hands. His fingers moved across the keys, a beautiful melody floating around the room. He was doing more than just pressing his fingers into the keys; he was gently them, caressing them, sweeping across the keyboard. When he began to sing too, I was blown away.

More cheers and whoops and applause. I shouted loudly and clapped hard to show how amazing I thought he was. Practice flew by. We just spent the hours like a jam session, coming together to go through whatever song we felt like. Next thing we knew, four hours had gone by. We split ways to head home, Baekhyun and I as usual, waiting together at the bus stop.

How could he be so damn musically talented? He is pretty much perfect to me. He can do no wrong. I can literally list every single thing I find flawless about this boy, and it would probably go on forever. It's sort of insane how into him I've become. I look back to the entry of when I first met him...to now? It has barely even been three months. I didn't know it was possible to feel like this about...anyone. Much less for a guy, when I've only ever liked girls... It has come to the point that I want to do something about it. Do something to show what I feel. And to know what he feels.

But I'm scared.

There are so many possible consequences. So many things could go wrong. I would be putting so much on the line. Risking my friendships and current relationships. I would be admitting I like Baekhyun. That I like guys too. I don't want to lose him as a friend. He has become someone important to me. Someone I trust. Someone I don't mind acting vulnerable in front of. Someone I can be myself with. But...

What if my friends find out?

What if my family finds out?

What if the whole school finds out?

What if I start getting picked on?

What if Baekhyun starts getting picked on for it?

What if Baekhyun only likes girls?

What if he doesn't like me?

What if I end up losing him as a friend?

And nothing is the same anymore?

But most of all...

What if Baekhyun likes me back?

A/N: Random fact - I just started watching Gu Family Book tonight and I bawled my eyes out for episode 2, seriously T.T It's supposed to be more of a romcom though so after these two episodes of the depressing love story of Lee Seung Gi's parents, the laughs should come. I'm hooked so far, though.