Chapter 19

“Don’t ever do that again!” she playfully punched him on his bicep.

He chuckled. “So it is true,” he said rubbing his injured arm.

“What the hell are you talking about?” she asked impatiently.

“You and Jihoon,” Dongwoon cocked an eyebrow. “What’s going on with the two of you?”

“Nothing,” she became defensive. “We’re just dorm mates. That is all. And it just so happens, we get along very well.”

“Maybe you’re getting along too well,” he pointed out. “Gossip spreads like wildfire around here, Sam.”

“There’s nothing going on with me and Jihoon, Dongwoon,” she assured him. “If there is, you know I’d tell you.”

“I just want you to be careful,” he said. “Getting involved with him can get you two in a lot of trouble, especially for him since he’s still a rookie.”

“Dongwoon,” she said. “There’s nothing going on. I swear. And you know I have Jeremy to consider.”

Dongwoon groaned. “Here we go again,” he sighed. “When are you gonna let him go? Honestly, I’d choose Jihoon or the guys of BTOB over Jeremy if I were you. Jihoon is a good guy and he doesn’t deserve the treatment you’re giving him. He’s a doormat, Sam. He may not know it but he will get hurt if you continue with this. If my hunch is correct from what I saw just now, he likes you.”

“No, he doesn’t,” Samantha said shaking her head. “He’s always out with other girls and stuff. He’s not interested in me. It’s impossible.”

“Well, it seems like he does like you,” Dongwoon pointed out. “Like I said, be careful. I’m only looking out for you and for him, since he is my label mate.” He said finally.

Samantha stood still, taking in what Dongwoon had pointed out. “I appreciate it, Dongwoon,” she said looking at him. “Thanks for looking out for me.”

“You’re my best friend, I have to look out for you,” he replied smugly, which earned a shove from Samantha. “Geez, you’re awfully feisty today.”

“Shouldn’t you be getting to work?” Samantha asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

“I should be asking you the same thing,” he sneered.

“Touché,” she said finally, “Alright, later.”

“Bye,” he said then they both parted ways.

“Jihoon likes me?” she thought to herself then decided to shake the thought away as she made her way to meet up with everyone else. “That’s preposterous!”

“What’s preposterous?” Ilhoon’s voice rang out thus startling her. “Wow, someone’s jumpy today…”

“Hey, you,” Samantha greeted him. “Where’s everyone else?”

“They’re doing their own thing at the moment,” he answered. “Messing around in the rehearsal room.” He sneered shaking his head.

“I’m guessing I have to go babysit again,” she said dryly.

“Yep,” he nodded then proceeded to leave.

She had forgotten to ask where he was going but decided to brush it off since she had to put everyone else in line. Loud music rang out from the room, she ran inside and saw them sitting down playing with the instruments. Changseob was playing drums; Peniel was on the electric guitar while Sungjae and Hyunsik were singing into the microphones. The two eldest members were sitting around playing with their phones as if oblivious to the commotion. She stopped and watched as they were improvising. These boys sure are talented, she thought as she stood and listened. There was no need to intervene, it’s not like they were horse playing like last time.

Soon, she found herself becoming entranced with Peniel as he strummed the guitar. It may have sounded strange but she’s always thought guys who played guitar were attractive and for some reason, she saw him in a different light. Samantha couldn’t help but watch and become curious about the Chicago boy. There was so much she wanted to know about him because he was always so shy and reserved. She thought about last night’s dream and wondered what it meant. Why did she dream about him?

As if reading her mind, his eyes met hers. Samantha felt as if the room went quiet as they gazed at each other. He gave her a hint of a smile in which Samantha returned with ease. “Ahem,” a voice interrupted their interaction. Peniel immediately looked away and resumed playing. Samantha turned to find Ilhoon narrowing his eyes at her. “Could you get me a smoothie? I mean since you’re standing there not doing anything, I guess you can go get one for me.”

“Sure thing, Ilhoon,” she nodded then turned to everyone else. “Did you guys want anything?”

“I’ll go with you,” Peniel immediately stood up.

The boys looked at him in confusion but didn’t think much of it. “I want a smoothie too,” Minhyuk chimed in.

“Get me a vanilla latte,” Eunkwang said.

“I want an Americano,” Changseob called out.

Samantha nodded as she jotted down their drinks and left with Peniel. “You don’t have to come with me, you know.”

He gave her a shy smile. “But I want to come with you,” he said.

“I don’t see why not,” she said. “I don’t mind the company.”

“Well I’m glad I can come along,” he said matter-of-factly.

They proceeded to walk to the same nearby café. Wanting to break the awkward silence, they both spoke at the same time, “So—“ but stopped upon realizing it.

“Ladies first,” Peniel offered.

“Nothing, I just wanted to ask how practice is treating you,” she said.

“Oh,” he scratched the back of head awkwardly. “It’s going well, I guess. We’re planning a performance for the Wave Concert soon.”

“That’s good, right?” she asked curiously.

“It is,” he nodded. “One of our overseas performances,” he added.

“I bet you’re excited,” she gave him a smile.

“We all are,” he said. “Plus, we get to travel around Asia and sightsee…”

“Yeah?” she asked. “Where is this concert taking place?” she wondered. She felt like a horrible employee for not keeping track of their tours and stuff.

“Thailand,” he replied.

Samantha froze. “Right, Thailand,” she said stiffly. She had almost forgotten about Thailand for a moment.

The concert was nearing, Beast and Ailee were performing too not to mention Jihoon. The thought boggled Samantha’s mind upon realizing she had to go through with her initial plan. It would mean leaving everyone behind despite the bond they developed along the way. She was going to miss them, she thought. There was no need to save up for a plane ticket to Thailand since she was already going to attend the concert with them. Thailand would be their last top together and they would part ways and move on.

She could not bring herself to sleep that night so she found herself sitting in the living room staring out the window. The light switched on thus taking her by surprise. “You’re still up,” Peniel’s sleepy voice rang out from the kitchen.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“What’s wrong?” he asked joining her in the living room sipping his glass of water.

“I’ve been thinking,” she sighed.

“Of?” he asked curiously.

“A lot of things,” she answered. “They’ve been bothering me for quite some time.”

“You know, you can talk to me about it,” he pointed out. She became uneasy and he sensed it. “It’s me, Sam. I’m here for you.”

Reluctantly she agreed. “But not here,” she said. “Let’s go for a walk.”

“Okay,” he nodded. “Let me get dressed.”

Soon they were out of the dorm and began taking a walk into the night. “I haven’t been honest with you or any of the guys,” she said. “I didn’t intend to come and stay with you guys. I was actually supposed to be somewhere else.”

He turned to her in confusion. “Really,” he asked.

She nodded. “Initially, I had booked a flight to Thailand but ended up taking the wrong plane and landed here. If I didn’t know Dongwoon or Ailee, I would’ve been screwed so I got lucky. The whole time working for you guys, I was trying to save up for another ticket so I can leave but turns out I stayed a lot longer than I thought. I’m starting to wonder if I made a mistake by choosing to leave again.”

“What do you mean by that?” he asked. “You keep saying things like you won’t stay for long or you’re gonna leave soon. Why? Why were you supposed to be in Thailand?”

“I wanted to go see someone,” she couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eyes. “No one understands. Dongwoon and Ailee think they understand but I don’t think they get it. This person taught me a lot while Dongwoon and Ailee weren’t around. He kept my mind off the bad things and knew how to make me laugh and smile. He looked out for me when they couldn’t be here. But then, we started to drift apart. He became even busier and just stopped talking to me. I was so upset about it I started to become desperate. I thought we had something good but then it just stopped.” She cried. “I just wanted to see him one last time to be convinced of my feelings for him. When I found out he was going to Thailand, I lost it but felt like I had to see him again. That’s why I’m here. This may be my only chance, Peniel.”

Peniel’s expression hardened upon watching the girl cry before him. Feeling guilty, he pulled her close and embraced her as she cried. So there was someone, he thought. She’s hurting over someone else. It was always someone else that’s why she never noticed anyone around her. Watching her cry in agony over someone else broke his heart. He hated seeing her this way especially over another guy. “I’m so sorry, Peniel,” she sobbed into his shoulder.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he comforted her caressing the small of her back. “Let it all out now before we go back to the dorm.”

She pushed herself away from him. “I feel so horrible about the way I’ve been behaving towards everyone… especially to you. You’ve been so kind to me and I’m not even deserving of all this kindness,” she sniffled.

Peniel held her head in his hands and proceeded to wipe her tears away with his thumbs. “Don’t worry about it,” he said softly. On instinct, he inched his face closer to hers then closed his eyes.

Samantha swallowed hard then felt her heart thumping in her chest as it slowly started to dawn on her what he was doing. In turn, she slowly closed her eyes anticipating him.

This feels wrong, she thought then her eyes shot opened and she pushed him away. He looked at her in confusion. “I’m sorry,” he said finally.

“We should head back to the dorm,” she said turning to leave.

The walk was silent. They refused to look at each other. The purpose was to forget this ever happened. At least that was what Samantha wanted. I knew I should have seen this coming, she thought. I feel horrible for leading him and Jihoon on. I don’t deserve guys like them. She picked up her pace and walked ten steps ahead of him.

Peniel, on the other hand, had come to his own revelation. He had been confused for so long and now he knew what those feelings meant whenever he was with her. When she was at her most vulnerable, she wanted comfort and he had given it to her. On his own instincts, he did what his heart had longed for only for her to stop him. He glanced at her as they walked. She was refusing to meet his gaze. Why did she stop me? He wondered.

A/N: Here's another update!!!! Sorry, this one is kind of sloppy. I just decided to type it out as I was in thought. I had a hard time with it. Anyways, enjoy!

On a brighter note, I have good news! Well kind of, I got back in touch with the real Jeremy today. We're still texting each other as I write this. He injured himself and I decided to text him to check up on him. I'm still confused about my feelings for him but I know I have to let him go somehow. We're still really cool with each other. So everything's fine! I know I made him sound really bad in this fic but in actuality, he really is a nice guy it's just I'm sure he's really trying to tell me to let him go. I'm glad me and him are still friends though. I don't want you guys to hate him. He's really cool. Okay I will stop talking now! Enjoy!