Drabbles From the Back of My High School Notebooks Set #1: Antonyms
A Cup of Caramel Coffee (Jeti Collection)
A/N: I know that I've been gone for like a really long time. But I was fixing my stuff from high school the other day when I came across my notebooks. The notebooks that I knew so well, the notebooks that gave me entertainment when the class was boring. These were the notebooks where I've written my thoughts and stories. I found a couple of drabbles in them and thought of posting them while I'm on hiatus on all of my works, mainly because of college. But please do know that I'm still writing my fanfics. It's just that I'm not posting them yet because I want to finish writing the whole fanfic before posting them. I hope you guys could understand. So in the meantime, please enjoy these drabbles that I've written during my high school days.
Drabbles From the Back of My High School Notebooks Set #1: Antonyms
#1: Sun and Moon
It was quiet that day. A blissful peace embraced me as I sat down at the edge. I took in the fresh air and watched the autumn-colored sunset.
I wish I could stay here forever. Away from the problems. Away from the complications. At least here, in my own secluded paradise, I'll have no worries.
I closed my eyes for a moment, wishing that she would be here with me to share this moment.
A few minutes later, I could feel another presence sitting down beside me. I smiled. Even with my eyes closed I knew that it was her.
"Watching the sun set again?" she asked.
"It reminds me of you." I sighed as I opened my eyes. "It's just so beautiful."
She nodded and continued to watch the sun with me. "Yeah. It is beautiful."
She lifted her hand and pointed somewhere in the sky. I realized that she was pointing at the moon.
"The moon reminds me of you." she said quietly, as if it was a secret between us. "It's also beautiful."
I smiled and nodded.
"But it just seems so sad at the same time..." she whispered.
I rested my head on her shoulder and asked, "Why do you think so?"
I could hear her deep breaths matching with her steady heartbeat.
Inhale. Exhale. Dugeun. Dugeun. Inhale. Exhale. Dugeun. Dugeun.
I swear, that sound alone could lull me to sleep at any moment.
She let out a sigh and replied, "It's the only time when the sun and moon get to see each other. They could only be together for only a moment. Then they must separate after that. They must be so lonely. Being away from the one they love..."
She took my hand and held it tight. That's when I noticed the tears slowly streaming down her face.
Even when crying she looked beautiful. Her tears reminded me of crystals, the way they glistened under the last few rays of the sun. Like the sunset, her tears were beautiful, but it was filled with so much sorrow...
She continued watching the setting sun. Only a few more moments until the sun would be retiring for the day, leaving his love, the moon, to emit its nightly rays upon the earth.
She was right. The sunset was full of sadness.
"Please...don't ever leave me, Tiffany..." she quietly said. She was looking deep into my eyes, trying to hold back her tears from falling any further.
I smiled and brought my hand to her face to wipe away her tears.
"Silly Jessi. I would never leave you."
We sat there for a moment, enjoying the lasting seconds of the sun. We watched as the sun and moon imparted their goodbyes to each other, as if whispering into the night, trying to say "I love you."
---
#2: Heart and Mind
"Tell her!" The voice of my heart lingered in my head the whole day.
It bothered me so much that I thought about considering to actually do it.
"What?! No way!" my subconscious mind screamed at me. "You know what would happen if you try to confess. You know you'll get hurt!" it continued.
I shook my head to think straight. My heart and mind were at war. I didn't know what to do.
Just then, I saw her leaning against the lockers while reading a book. My mind and heart were fighting again, scolding at each other on who was right.
Should I tell her? Or shouldn't I? It was now or never. I had to make a choice.
"Don't do it!" my mind kept warning me. "Take one step towards her and you know what could happen!"
But my stupid heart didn't listen.
I suddenly found myself walking towards Tiffany.
But something made me stop in my tracks.
Siwon happened to pass by, holding a huge bouquet of pink flowers as he presented it to Tiffany with a huge grin. In return, Tiffany accepted the flowers and had a smile equally as big as Siwon's.
Damn.
I slowly turned away and ran.
Away. Anywhere. I didn't know where.
I wasn't usually the one to run. I hated it. I hated the feeling of getting tired. I hated the pain that shot through my lungs because of the lack of oxygen as I ran.
But this time, I wanted to run. I wanted the pain from running to tire out the pain caused by my broken heart.
I was having a hard time breathing and my feet were starting to kill me. But nothing hurt me more than the agonizing tease of my subconscious in my head,
"Don't say I didn't warn you."
---
#3: Past and Future
"Why won't you give me a second chance, Jessi?"
I curled my hands into tight fists.
"Jessi, please answer me. At least let me know why."
"I'm afraid, Tiff." I answered in a low voice. I couldn't even recognize it to be mine.
"Of what?"
Her voice...it seemed afraid...Was it possible that Tiffany sounded almost as scared as I was?
"I'm afraid of the past and the future." I told her.
The past hurts. I didn't want to go back there. I didn't want to experience the pain all over again.
The future is unknown. I could get hurt again. Or maybe I wouldn't. I could happy. Or maybe I won't. There are a lot of possibilities. I don't know which would happen.
"I'm afraid of the past because it might just repeat itself. I'm afraid of the future because I don't know what it would be."
I took a step back. Maybe to run away. But I didn't. Tiffany took two steps forward.
"I'm afraid of a lot of things too, Jessi. I'm afraid of falling in love. I'm afraid of making the same mistake of hurting you. But I'm more afraid of losing you again."
One step back. Two steps closer.
"But it doesn't matter if I'm afraid. Because I know that when I'm with you, I can be brave enough to overcome all my fears." Tiffany continued. "Jessi, it's time that you stopped taking one step back because you're afraid. Because no matter what you do I'll always take two steps towards you."
Then I realized that what matters is the present. What matters is right now. What matters is Tiffany.
So I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and took a step forward.
---
#4: Then and Now
As time passes, a lot of things change.
The school's bright colored paint now had a faded shade of yellow. The playground where I used to play as a child was now replaced with an ice cream store. The green grasses of what used to be a soccer field had been replaced by hard concrete of an apartment building.
And our friendship...
I don't know what changed.
But I do know that we started to drift apart.
Back then, we would giggle quietly to ourselves whenever we told each other stories and secrets that only we would know. I always loved how your eyes smiled like moons. Your eyesmile was beautiful.
Now, I can only watch you from afar as you laugh along with your "friends". You still smile beautifully, but your eyes never smile like they used to.
Back then, we walked to school together and walked home together since we were neighbors. We always held hands, swinging it playfully, happily.
Now, you ride your pink car going home while I ride my yellow bike. We never waited for each other anymore. Your hands were on your steering wheel while mine were on the handle of my bike.
Back then, dinners with both of our families together were the best because everybody was so happy seeing how close we were.
Now, there are still family dinners together but we're never complete anymore. People keep getting busy nowadays.
Back then, I'm the first one you call whenever you're sick. And I'm always the first one to visit you and make you feel better. I stay at your house and always keep you company. I didn't mind getting sick too if it meant that I could make you happy.
Now, I don't know how whether you're sick or not whenever you're not in class. The teachers would just ask me to drop off your homeworks, school notes, and other reminders at your house. After bringing them to your mailbox, I leave right afterwards.
Back then, we always had sleepovers at each other's house. Half of my clothes were at your house and half of yours were at mine. We shared the same bed and talked to each other or watched movies until we fell asleep.
Now, there are some nights when I can't sleep. I'm not sure if it's just temporary insomnia or if it's because I can't hold that familiar hand whenever I reach out to my right and unconsciously search for its warmth.
Back then, we would tell each other everything. No secrets between us. We were completely honest with each other. And we kept it that way.
Now, we don't even talk to each other anymore. Now...I could never have the chance to tell you that I am hurting, that I miss you so badly, and most of all, that I love you more than a friend.
As time passes, a lot of things change.
But I wish that there were some things that never did.
---
#5: Words and Actions
Today, we were at the lake, walking barefooted as we held hands. I always enjoyed this feeling whenever I was with Jessica. It was a feeling of comfort that only she could make me feel. Like nothing could ever disturb us in this bliss.
We sat on a rock and dipped our feet into the cool crystal water, sending ripples across the glass-like pool, disrupting the reflection of the heavenly sky above.
None of us had spoken a word since we got here. But we didn't mind. I was the first to break the silence.
"How come we're always like this?" I asked.
"Like what, Tiff?" Jessica calmly replied.
I shrugged. "You know...always being with each other, not saying anything, but neither of us minding."
She let out a quiet little laugh, held both of my shoulders, and stared right into my eyes.
"When we look at each other we say a hundred of words."
She took both of my hands and held it dearly in hers.
"When our hands touch a thousand words are spoken."
Then she brought a hand to my face and tucked a locket of hair behind my ear.
"And when our lips meet..."
Before I knew it, a pair of lips were gently brushing against mine. It lingered for a moment before our ips parted.
"...I don't know how many words can be expressed through a simple gesture like that." she said with her gorgeous smile.
I looked away and blushed madly. She chuckled and held my hand again as we continued walking. Neither of us saying another word.
---
#6: North and South
Polar opposites becoming one? I never thought that it was possible. Sure, the opposite ends of a magnet attract each other but to become one in itself? It was simply impossible.
There was north and there was south. You can make those magnetic ends meet but you can also easily separate them.
My logic of love was the same logic as that of the logic of two magnetic ends.
But Tiffany Hwang showed me that it IS possible to merge two very different things. Because love can make opposites become the same.
"Jessi, can you describe to me what love is?"
I looked up from my book to see Tiffany staring at me with curious eyes.
"What do you mean? I thought you already knew what it was since you're the one who changed my whole thinking and feeling on love?"
"I use actions to describe love. You're better with words."
I smiled. "Why the sudden curiosity about how I describe love?"
Tiffany shrugged. "It's just that everyone knows that I love you and you love me, but they don't seem to understand how that was possible since we're very different from each other."
"And me describing love with words will help because?"
"I don't know. I just want assurance from you. I'm not doubting your love for me or anything. I just want to hear your words about love."
I chuckled as I placed down my book in order to hold both of Tiffany's hands.
"Love is the past, the present, the future."
"Love is life and death."
"Love is sanity and madness."
"Love is fixed and broken."
"Love is joy and pain."
"Love is sweet and bitter."
"Love is actions and words."
"Love is companionship and loneliness."
"Love is strength and weakness."
"Love is harmony and discord."
"Love is the beginning and the end."
"Love is everything and nothing."
Tiffany furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "You keep defining love with two different things. I don't understand."
"Exactly." I smiled. "Tiffany, love is something so simple that everybody knows yet something so complicated that nobody understands."
I lifted up her hand close to our face as my fingers filled up the gaps in between hers. Two different hands merging into one.
"Love is you and me. We are love. This is love. Always and forever will be."
---
A/N: Hmm....I seem to shift from cheesy to emo to wth-was-I-thinking back in high school.
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