장난스런 말투로 나를 누르고 감춰 네가 아는 나로 살아

I hold myself back and hide behind the playful words, I live as the person you know

Myungsoo stirred from his deep slumber, slowly opening his eyes and letting it adjust to the glower of the sun slightly passing through the blinds. He looked around and recognized that he was not sleeping in his usual messy room. Myungsoo was elated when he remembered the reason why he woke up in Sungjong's bed. He was probably being selfishly happy that finally he got to sleep with Sungjong, and not just the usual sleeping-beside-you kind of thing that they usually did a long time ago, but rather 'sleep' sleep with him. 

Myungsoo felt like a douchebag being this happy after what happened last night. He was Sungjong's first time, the first to person to see and feel how smooth Sungjong's white skin is, the first person to see Sungjong in a writhing mess while he moaned Myungsoo's name, the first person to see him in a vulnerable state different to his vice president image in school. He was the first and swore to be the last. 

Myungsoo cannot help but giggle, immediately covering his mouth in an attempt to hide the noise, not wanting Sungjong to wake up. He had never felt so happy waking up this early in the morning, waking up with Sungjong sleeping beside him, tucked in his chest, while a blanket covered their ness. Myungsoo smiled. He's sleeping in Sungjong's bed, in Sungjong's sheets, in Sungjong's room. He felt so contented he felt like shouting. Another giggle went out of his mouth. He usually was not the type of person to giggle. He likes to laugh - recklessly laugh - and yet when it comes to Sungjong, giggling comes to him a lot easier than usual. 

He stirred a little, lightly lifting the other's head so sungjong was comfortably lying in his arm, while he can as well comfortably stare at Sungjong.

He can finally stare. And really stare at him, studying his features without the other shouting for him to stop. 

Sungjong is really pretty. Probably the prettiest Myungsoo had ever seen on someone. And yet despite all these alluring beauty that surrounds him, a hint of manliness and handsomeness still cannot be hidden just from looking at his physic. Sungjong is like the combination of both. A combination of the best and the best. Like coffee and breakfast. Like yin and yang. Sungjong is really perfect.

Sungjong had the prettiest hair. He just never seemed to have a bad hair day ever since they met. Every time he and sungjong hangs out, his hair seemed to look at its best. Myungsoo had developed a slight addiction to it. Ruffling and touching Sungjong's hair every opportunity he can have. Though most of the time Sungjong would glare and tell him to stop because it was annoying. Myungsoo would just laugh in return and playfully touch Sungjong's hair more as the other tried to dodge his hand.

Sungjong had the prettiest eyes. It was one of the things Myungsoo first noticed when him and Sungjong met the day they moved houses. Sungjong had those kind of eyes that seem to have you besotted in one glance and make you want to stare more. That was probably why Sungjong thought of him as a weirdo when they were introduced to each other by their parents. He was quite young and curious of many things. So when those eyes stared back at him, he cannot help but stare more-longer than what was normal, apparently. He remembered sitting on that couch in the living room, listening to his and Sungjong's parents talk, while all he could do was stare at sungjong's eyes. He really wanted to say, 'it's because your eyes are just too beautiful. It's your fault really', but kept his mouth shut. 

Myungsoo cannot describe Sungjong's lips. It was simply indescribable - the color, how it felt, just everything. 

He slowly brought his index finger and lightly traced the outline of Sungjong's lips. Those lips that he had kissed so many times it had become impossible to remember how many. Those lips that Sungjong let him claim. Those lips that kissed him back just as much as he wanted it. 

Myungsoo doesn't remember when he fell in love with this guy.Maybe it was when Sungjong laughed at his stupid jokes. Or maybe when Sungjong treated his wounds when Myungsoo would come home blooded from his 'encounters' with other gangs. Or maybe it was that time when Sungjong smiled at him so sweetly, ran to him and hugged him so tight when he found him in the playground late at night after running out of the house trying to escape a heated argument with his father. He cannot really remember anymore. All he knows is that one time after another, his heart would beat so fast he felt like he would die just from the slight touch of Sungjong. 

Myungsoo was albeitly comfortable in accepting that he likes Sungjong 'that way'. He had never really felt anything like this before for someone. It wasn't hard to tell to himself 'you like him'. Maybe because it was Sungjong. Because it was him, Myungsoo didn't find the worry to counter his feelings. 

It was a stupid threat, a stupid slip of the mouth, a stupid hasty act because of the situation presented. It was stupid until it became not so stupid anymore. Myungsoo regretted, yes he did. As much of a psycho bastard he is, he wouldn't go as far as letting Sungjong do something that he doesn't want. Myungsoo doesn't like threats, and he doesn't like giving threats either. But then, Sungjong gave him that five minutes, and he hated himself more. He hated that he cannot take it back anymore, he hated that he actually wants this five minutes to continue. He felt to selfish but then what can he do. Itwas all that he ever wanted. For him to touch those lips, for him to hug sungjong, for him to be intimate with him. Myungsoo was a self- proclaimed bastard. He knows it himself. 

Myungsoo forced himself to get up, using his other arm to move sungjong's head to a pillow beside him. He got up, wore hus clothes that he saw scattered to the floor beside the bed, and went to Sungjong's cabinet looking for a shirt. He found a white loose shirt ticked away in the corner and walked back to sungjong. He felt like he was dressing up a baby. He slowly slipped Sungjong's arms to the shirt, being very careful not to wake the other up. After a few tries, he finally finished and tucked the blanket back to Sungjong's chest. 

He stared for the last time. 

Tuckung sungong's bangs away and kissed his forehead.

"I love you" he whisphered the second time after uttering those three words last night. He was sincere. Had never been more sincere.

Sungjong can not say it back. It's okay. 

But Myungsoo had. He had to let those emotions go and see what's gonna happen. It's a make or break. But he's willing to put a chance to it. 

He'll just act normal and see how things go. At least he had an opportunity to say it. At least he knows, if this ends badly, he won't regret because he tried. 

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Three more exams and i will finally be free from school so more frequent updates hoooo~~~ this is the promised special chapter. Enjoy..