I sat there with the whole breakfast and Niel was away.
After this I sat in the kitchen alone. I ate breakfast but I felt really lonely.
"What is he doing right now?" I thought loud about Jonghyun.
I tried to call him but he didn't take off.
I won't sit bored in my room.
I was on the way to Jonghyun's home, on the way there I met Joe.
 

Joe was calm he acted cool.
I asked him about Niel.
What it did mean.
But he just said I should be use more carefully words.
I didnt asked more.
Joe and me walked down the road and said finally "Okay... Niel... he loves you and every second he sees you and Jonghyun. Or listen how you talk about him, every single moment you are alone... he gets hurt. I don't want that... he is a good friend. I won't him being hurt.... It's better you stop this thing with him." 
I looked a bit shocked "But... he is one of my best friends.. I can't give up on this friendship. 
Joe said nothing more we just walked side by side.
We entered Jonghyun's home. His parents weren't there so we just opened the door which wasn't locked and entered his room.
He slept in his bed . On the ground a lot of bottles. Alcohol.
In his bed .. "OMO" I shouted.
Jonghyun wasn't alone. There lay also 3 girls.
Joe also looked shocked to me.
Because I shouted Jonghyun woke up. He smirked "Good Morning Yeobo." 
I turned and left the room.
How could he dare ...
Jonghyun followed me "Wait... what happened?" 
I asked aghasted "Seriously? I find you with alcohol and some girls in your bed and you are asking me 'what happened?' ?" 
Jonghyun looked like he would understand "No Honey.. I didn't sleep with him." 
"Come on, you were drunk, you can't even remember the last night... and this is what you wanted? ! I am sure you slept with them. And a lot of others too. Don't think about me I would be a fool."  I suddenly started to cry.
Jonghyun hugged me "Don't cry.. I promise, nothing happened..." 
Then I saw the girls were waking up cause Joe.
They lay there in underwear but one of them were without a bra.
I pushed Jonghyun and ran out of the building.
This time he didn't follow me.
Run to home? Bad idea. 
I ran to Ricky. I meant husband. I meant.. I didn't know what I mean.
Ricky opened the door.
If he saw me he was shocked.
But I still ran to his room.
Chunji, Niel and Minsoo were inside.
I left quickly his room and ran to another one. 
Just Ricky followed me.
I looked up "Okay.. Daebak.. you won..I will marry you. I don't want to have anymore a talk or more to Jonghyun." 
Ricky didn't seem happy "What happened?" 
I looked up "Just be happy about it. I ,......... don't want to talk about it." 
Then I heard how Jonghyun arrived the appartment and I ran to Ricky's room.
I sat next to Minsoo.
Jonghyun entered worried "Jihyun... may I talk you alone?" 
I didn't looked to him "No. I won't talk you." 
The others looked confused and Jonghyun said "Come on. We need to settle it." 
I stood up "I need nothing to settle with you. There is nothing more to settel. I'm not dumb Choi Jonghyun." 
Then the tears came from eyes and I ran into the bath room, locked the door and dropped on the ground.
I listened.. the boys shouted at Jonghyun and he shouted back.
But then it became silent.
Someone dropped in front of the door . Jonghyun. "Open the door... Jihyun.. nothing happened. Really. Do you want to ask the girls? And the one .. without... I didn't touch her. I promise you. I just love you. Come on... let's go home and talk about it." 
I said nothing but then I cried so much and shouted "HOW COULD YOU... why? Wasn't I good enough? Why are you alway at those partys? AM I BORING?"
Jonghyun said camly "Open the door then we can talk.." 
Then I listened to Minsoo "Go... ask her another time talking you. She needs time.. maybe firstly you will tell us." 
Jonghyun stood up and said "I will just talk to Jihyun. Not to you. it's not your problem." 
Minsoo shouted "NOT OUR PROBLEM? We are the people who need find solutions for both of you. We are the one who are there if she crys everyday because of you." 
Jonghyun whispered confused "Everday?" 
Minsoo said more calmly "YES everyday. Because you are not here. GO." 
Jonghyun knocked at the door. 
In the while I stood up and touched the door. 
Something prevented me from opening the door and Jonghyun said "Just open the door Jihyun. Then we will talk about everything." 
I did nothing and I heard how Minsoo pushed Jonghyun out of the apartment.
Then I listened to Niel's voice "Open the door Jihyun..." 
I did it.
My eyes were swollen and red.
Niel grabbed me and went with me back into Ricky's room. 
Chunji already sat there "Can we do something for you?" 
I shook my head while Ricky gave me a tissue. 
Ricky looked to the others "It's better if everyone go now.. Jihyun needs time."
The others looked at him confused and Minsoo said "Fine. We will come tomorrow again. Looking for you Jihyun, neh?" 
I looked up and just nodded.
Everyone stood up but Niel not.
Minsoo told him to stand up but Niel didn't do it. 
I looked to him "Just go... it's okay."
Daniel looked confused but nodded and left without any word.

Ricky said next to me and said nothing.
For  hours.
But then he said "Do you really want to do it? I mean.. mariage?" 
I looked to him "I don't know... I know nothing... My mind is completly broken. And I just feel sadness." 
Ricky hugged me "Think about it carefully. You need some sleep. I'm sure you are tired. Take the bed I will take the couch." 
He stood up and left.
I walked to his wardrobe. 
I took a shirt and changed my clothings.
If Ricky came to take also some clothes I said "Can..you stay also in your bed? I don't like be alone in moments like this."
Ricky smiled kind "Of course." 
In his bed we just lay awake next to next. 
After a while I said "What if we really get married? When? Now? Aren't we too young?"
Ricky smiled "No.. we will do it when you like. You decide." 
I looked up to Ricky "Do you love me? If you wouldn't do.. you would act different not like this." 
His glare went to the wall "I like you... a lot. " 
I nodded and bowed over him.
Ricky looked weird at me "What are you doing?" 
I approached his face. 
My lips touched softly his lips.
I felt Ricky smirked during it. 
It felt wrong because Jonghyun so I stopped quickly.
Ricky said surprised "Wow.. what was this? I thought you want just me lieing next to you because you hate being alone." 
I smiled "I hate being alone. And I just tried out.." 
Then Ricky bowed over me "Let's try some more." 
He kissed me this time. And that deeply. His tongue touched mine and they played. 
Damn. So wrong. but I won't stop... I had to be right. For our parents.