8. China love

"There is a friend of mine. The friend's Korean isn't the best but he's amazing at Chinese. This friend's singing is alright but he is really good at dancing.

I like cats and this friend likes dogs. I can't cook but this friend is good at cooking. I always cursed but this friend always laughed. But.. Now that time has passed, I never did anything good for him, It's making me sorry.. When he was next to me, I never did anything nice to him, I don't self-pity myself usually.. I think I'm just drunk which is why I'm crying kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

It's a special and sacred thing to have someone beside you... Though I grew up, I never realized that but A lot later....Now I know.. Wow..kkkk There's a reason why you should appreciate what you have. Saying "I miss him" is a phrase I can use now. The tears that never came out when I filmed sad scenes are coming down painfully now. "

From Heechul's minihompy.

He was tall, he was handsome. He was Chinese.

And later, observing him during the infinite hours of practice, Heechul found out he was a good- more than good actually- dancer too. He will never know what made him gravitated to him. Heechul often declared that was his awful korean, that he couldn't let someone so good looking rumbling broken phrases and making a fool of himself. The truth was that Heehcul who was so used to have people charmed by him that it took him off guard to be charmed by someone: by Han geng. Or Hankyung like the company decided later. It didn't matter though, for that time Heechul was already glued to him, looking after him like a stalker would have.

• Hannie c'mon cook me something- Heechul used to whine. Hankyung rolled his eyes rumbling something in his broken korean but doing nonetheless much for Heechul's delight. Because Hankyung was too kind for his own good and he couldn't really go against Heechul, except when it came to his beliefs, that was the only aspect where Hankyung would never waver.

They were at the beginning of Super junior adventure, they were 13 and they felt a little packed, but they were starting to get along. Heechul was happy to have conquered in advance his china man, he felt proud of himself but maybe he worried too much because Hankyung silence due to the poorness of his korean was enough to take the other member at a distance . But Hankyung was a determinate man and he wanted to master the language as soon as possible and bugged the older in teaching him new words. And they dared to say he was the molester. Pff. Hankyung was stubborn as much as Heechul enough to be a bit of a challenge for Heechul, however he was also more mature to know when it was time to let it pass. And with Heechul you had to let it pass, a lot. Hankyung was everything Heechul ever wanted in a friend. And sometimes when he saw Hankyung smile at him, he wondered if he ever cared so much about someone like he cared about Hankyung.

Slowly Hankyung got used to life with Super junior even though there were still times when Heechul found him staring at the window, deep in thought, his mind lost in chinese scenarios kms away from their dorm. As his korean improved even his relationship with the other members got better. Hankyung got easily along with Siwon and Jungsoo but also with the others.

But Heechul was still his favourite, or he liked to think like that, after all Hankyung was his favourite. The only one that Heechul welcomed in to his own personal world.

It was along that time that Heechul started to have dreams about his best friend. At first he was startled but like all the events in Heechul's life it didn't shock him too much. It kind of made sense. He always knew to be more than charmed by his china man. Of course it was more of a challenge to keep his feelings in control now that he was more conscious. But Hankyung was the most precious thing of his life and he didn't want to scare him to death with his desires. Hankyung will always come before his greediness.

However when Super junior M was formed that was the first time Heechul had fear. Because he never felt Hankyung so afar, so ready to slip from his fingers.

Hankyung with the other members started to travel to China, his homeland and Heechul didn't miss to notice the spark in his eyes whenever he had the possibility to go over there.

It wasn't like he didn't know the potential Hankyung had and the success he already had in China but somehow facing the reality was terrifying. He still remembered Kyuhyun saying that they could fill an arena with only Hankyung's fans.

So when Hankyung came back from China that night, Heechul planted his lips on Hankyung's ones. It was the fear, or he finally had the courage to face the truth. After all Hechul was famous for taking questionable and rushed decisions, but in all honesty he couldn't continue to lie because relationships above all friendship, deserved honesty. Was he scared? Of course. Hankynug always proved to be a conservative chinese man. He never felt more happy than being proven wrong when he felt his supposed bestfriend kiss him back.

It was like living a dream and Hecchul never felt so happy before. On the outside they were still best friends and Hankyung was secretive like always because pda weren't for him but for Heechul. But in the night they were again, hot kisses limbs tangled together. And when Hankyung whispered into his ear- you will be the end of me- Heechul had to admit his korean was nearly perfect.

Heechul desired that even the other things could be as perfect as Hankyung's korean but they weren't. And when he came to him and said "I'm going to talk to Lee Soo-man sshi", Heechul knew what it meant. They argued like never before.

• You have to understand, I can't stay!

But Heechul didn't want to understand and he replied with all the venom:- you are only being selfish.

Because Heechul once was ready to sacrifice his own feelings for their friendship, so he felt like Hankyung considered their relationship less than his own necessities.

The defeated expression of Hankyung were enough for make him regret those words:- maybe I am.

In that moment Heechul understood that maybe he never comprehended Hankyung's loneliness.

From that on things became a mess. He didn't remember too much but he had to surrender to the reality that Hankyung, no Han geng, was going all the way even if it meant leave. So Heechul made the only thing that made sense. He went to the cheap hotel room where Hankyung was staying because he had to fix things. “ I can sacrifice our life as  lovers but I will never give up our friendship, so I hope you will stil call me from time to time and make sure to have a room for me when I'll came to visit you in China." Han geng laughed, they hugged, Hangeng buried his face in the crook of his neck and for the first time he cried not for his China but for his favourite korean person, like Hankyung once said half joking half serious. However when Hangeng left for real Heechul couldn't stop himself from crying his heart out, but loving someone, sometimes, it meant to know when let it go.

Hyukjae stayed in silence for all the time Heechul told his story. He could recognize themselves in the uniqueness of Heechul and Han kyung relationship. I was wrong. We are so much alike.

• so you told this to Donghae...- Hyukjae mumbled.

• More or less. Maybe I was less dramatic but the more I talk about it the more I romance it all.

Hyukjae arched a brow and then asked with nervousness:- why?

• Why, what?

• Why Donghae asked you to tell your story. I understand he was curious but...

• At this point I thought you already realized yourself.

• I need for you to tell me, I can't allow myself to take a guess. It's important.

• You kids are seriously... ok ok, I'll tell you- Heechul replied at one particular glare from Hyukjae- your grumpiness is getting worse, aish. Anyway he asked to tell him because he wanted to know if our stories matched. I think he wanted to have an anticipation of what could happen if he is going to...

• Don't finish please- Hyukjae stopped him. He was starting to feel fuzzy again.

• You are insufferable, first you want me to speak then you want me to stop, just decide goddammit!

Hyukjae hold his head in his hands.

• Hey anchovy... are you feeling ok? Aren't you going to faint right here, aren't you?- asked Heechul poking him in the arm.

• I'm fine.

• You don't seem so.

• Can I ask you something hyung?

• I thought you already asked.

• Was it worth it?- Hyukjae asked fervently- even after Han geng hyung left, even after all the pain you went through, was it..?

• I'll do it all over again. I have no regrets. No matter what, Han geng was the best thing ever happened to me.

• But hyung he's not here right now.

• I know. But I knew from the beginning he was going to take his own path, maybe that's why I attached myself to him so much. He was too much famous in China by his own to remain here in Korea tied to us, Hyukjae. Like Kibum was too much famous as an actor to be a singer. Despite my harsh words back then he took the right decision. I only regret I didn't support him enough. I know for sure it was painful to go alone through that.

• Even though that decision took him away from us, from you?

• Hyukjae do you think so low of love and friendship to believe that a land border would be enough to separate two persons? If Donghae was going to leave, I don't know ..for Japan, would this tear the two of you apart? If so then you are not like us. Maybe we are too afar to remain lovers but like I said to Han geng once, we'll never stop being best friends.

Hyukjae chuckled:- hyung, you are really something.

• Of course I am! I'm Heenim.

Hyukjae laughed whole heartedly.

He had a lot to reflect but the only thing he could think about at that moment was Donghae.

Author's note: the title is a tribute to my own story (yes I have an original sotry called like that XD). It broke my heart write about Heechul and Han geng. Sigh ( if you want to know why go check the post on my blog). Hope you enjoyed at least. keep commenting and subscribing, I  love you <3

Ps: I had to write this, it was a special case this flash update!