6. Just tell me

Friendship is really the best.

Sometimes I question myself: what about love? But love hurts, love can tear two persons apart. But as best friends we will always be part of each other.

Gosh. So cheesy of me but I really want to stay with you.

Hyukjae considered himself a composed person. He hated confronting people and if possible he wanted to avoid complicated situations. Tantrums were for Donghae, maybe one of the most straightforward person he ever knew. However Hyukjae in that moment wanted to go straight to his best friend, shook him hard from the shoulders and make him spill the truth out. He never liked to pry in other's business but this was Donghae, their friendship worked because Donghae jumped over the wall that was his conservativeness and simply threw at him whatever passed on his mind. Not that time. It was funny that the only time Hyukjae was curious to the point of dying, Donghae kept silent. If that was a sort of revenge for all the times Hyukjae rolled his eyes to Donghae's nonsensical blabbering, well it was working. Because there was only a question that was going around over and over again.

Who on the ing earth is she?

Some days before Donghae broke up with one of the best girlfriend he ever had in the name of his supposed feelings for this other person. Donghae wasn't silly or inconsiderate, everything he did was for a good reason, above all if what he did hurt another, and even himself. A person so important for Donghae, there was no way that he, his best friend, could have missed! Was he so engrossed by himself that he happened to miss some important piece of Donghae's life?

Hyukjae sighed defeated, beating his head on the kitchen table.

• Is this some new sport? If that's the case, please behave. I don't want for the table to end up hurt.

• Ha ha. Funny. I'm laughing my heart out Kyuhyun-a.

• Hey, I'm really attached to that table.

• Don't you care about my poor handsome head?

• Pff. Like your monkey's head is going to break.

• Kyuhyun-a, how could you be possible!- Hyukjae sighed, shaking his head.

Kyuhyun smirked while seating in front of him for his breakfast. As usual every member had his own schedule during the pause period of their albums, so the only times they spent together were actually in the morning, when they were half asleep, or late in the evening, when everyone was dead tired. Of course their conversations couldn't make any sense with this precondition. You could say that Suju never had a serious conversation during breaks. So it was the first time he did talk to Kyuhyun in days.

• You know, I'm curious. First Donghae, now you. You guys are acting really weird, well- Kyuhyun reflected because when it came to those two they were always weird- weirder than usual. Did something happen while I was busy?

• Maybe, but make Donghae tell you the story and then come to me and tell me what he told you.

• Is Dognhae hiding something from you? I thought you were like two teenagers who shared a secret diary together and whispered secrets in their ears non stop.

Hyukjae glared at him but didn't comment. He needed Kyuhyun's help in this, so he swallowed the insult- yeah whatever. Anyway Kyun-a, do you by any chance know if Donghae is interested in someone in particular?

• Why this question? Isn't Dognhae with Yuri-sshi?

• Can you please stop being yourself for a minute and just answer?

• Ok, calm your , man! Anyway it's no. Besides Yuri and you, of course, I don't think he really is interested in anything else. Which is creepy if I can say. Then you wonder why there are so much Eunhae shippers- Kyuhyun laughed thinking to have said something really funny. Hyunkjae frowned. Kyuhyun despite his snarky personality was really caring towards the ones he cherished even though his concern came out in the most odd ways but still he was caring. If he too didn't notice, who then? Maybe Siwon knew something more. Hyukjae's instinct was screaming that the truth was in front of his eyes but he just couldn't see it.

• Well ok, just tell me if Donghae tells you something new.

• So it really did happen something- Kyuhyun said suddenly serious.

• Just make Donghae...

• tell me yes. Hmmm. I'm thrilled.

Me too.

It didn't take too long for Kyuhyun to know what happened. He found Dognhae in a corner of the practice room. Hyukjae had a different schedule that day and so Donghae was practicing the choreography of I wanna love you by himself. Kyuhyun noticed immediately the strange light in Donghae's eyes. Kyuhyun always had something for those eyes, you could easily say it was something near to envy because, yes he was a little vain, and for Donghae to have those kind of eyes it was really not fair. But well is was a disadvantage too: Donghae couldn't really hide his emotions, his eyes would always betray him.

• Hyung how are you?- Kyuhyun asked him. Donghae smiled slightly in amusement.

• Kyunhyun-a, do you need any help?

• Why do I have to need something?

• You are addressing me hyung and this happens pretty rarely, to say the least.

• Hyung I'm hurt. I thought you were the only one who didn't have prejudices towards me. It's Hyukjae's viciousness finally getting into you? Aish..

• Ha ha ha, maybe- you can totally say that.

Kyuhyun noticed that somehow Donghae's smile didn't reach his eyes.

• Hyung is everything allright?- he asked trying to have a proper conversation.

• It's a little bit messy but I'm improving? - Donghae answered with a questioning tone, his eyebrows arching in discomfort- I really hate being too obvious- he then added.

• You can talk to me hyung, I'm your dongsaeng but despite me being well me, I can listen to your story.

Dognhae laughed this time sincerely- well yeah. But let me change first and then we can talk in front of a cup of coffee- Donghae said with his toothy smile.

Kyuhyun nodded- I wait for you in the cafeteria.

• No! - Donghae said suddenly. What if they meet Yuri? She still worked there.- let's go out for a bit. My treat.

• Ok- the maknae replied puzzled. He didn't' have to wait for too long for Donghae to exit the changing room. They walked talking of silly things till the nearby café.

They seated in and hidden corner, caps on their heads to avoid unwanted attention.

• So hyung what is bothering you these days? To tell you the truth it's been a while I noticed something was off, but it's not the first time you are a bit moody and usually Hyukjae takes care of it for us.

Donghae glared at him- you are describing me like a ing girlfriend!

• Just saying the truth! Sometimes you are even worse then Siwon with the over thinking. Wait no, impossible, nobody is worse than him- replied Kyuhyun thinking at a conversation 5 days before in which Siwon asked him non stop if there was something wrong with his eyebrows because he heard some cordi- noonas talking about that.

• Siwon is a good guy- Donghae answered back.

• Of course he is, but that has nothing to do with the fact he likes to whine a lot.

• You are impossible.

• Yeah, Hyukjae said something like that this morning. You really think alike.

Donghae smiled brightly for the first time.

• Anyway hyung what happened? Can I help you?

• I doubt it- Donghae replied sighing, his smile vanished. There was no point in not telling Kyuhyun, knowing that sooner of later everyone in super junior would know he broke up. Joys and sorrows of being together - unless you think you can fix my relationship with Yuri, if you can do that, you are really something Kyunhyun-a- he said trying to joke, but failing miserly.

• Wait..what? Did you break up with Yuri-sshi? When? Why?- Kyuhyun asked extremely surprised. He thought they were doing well. Really well. Those months Donghae had a giant smile plastered over his face and he was quite sure it was Yuri-sshi's merit. But it kinda, sadly, made sense. There couldn't possibly be another reason, couldn't be? Still it was kind of unexpected.

• Yes we broke up, not even a week ago as for why...

• Wait how come nobody knows?

• Well Siwon knows. But because we have a lot of schedule together recently. Maybe Jungsoo hyung too knows. And of course Hyukjae. I wasn't trying to hide anything to you guys, but I think it was really too fresh.

• I understand the monkey but the horse before me? I can get offended!

Donghae chuckled. Why didn't he tell Kyuhyun before? He was perfect for those kind of situations. He wouldn't look at him with pity but he would try to make it bearable. Make things seem less tragic that they were.

• Will you ever be able to forgive me?- Donghae joked.

• It depends. At least I knew before Jungsoo hyung I can feel honoured about that.

Donghae laughed again.

• Anyway you didn't answered the other question!- Kyuhyun insisted.

Donghae fidgeted. That was going to be complicated. There was no way in hell he would ever confess to an alive soul his possible crush towards his best friend. Just no way.

He sighed.

• That... it's complicated.

• I guess. Maybe talking to me, can help you.

• Unfortunately not. It's clear like a summer sky. It's not like I fell out of love with her, or we argued or me or she did something wrong. I just couldn't stay with her a minute more.

Kyuhyun looked at him furrowing his brows.

• I don't understand.

Me neither.

• To put it simply...I just found myself liking someone else.

Oh that was... completely unexpected. Suddenly the question of Hyukjae made all the sense of the world. Do you by any chance know if Donghae is interested in someone in particular? And Hyukjae doesn't have a clue. Whoa.

• Well this is... unexpected- he said honestly.

• Yes. I think the same- it was not like he was expecting to find himself feeling something for Hyukjae. Geez.

• But you did the right thing. Don't doubt it.

• This is the only thing that I don't doubt Kyunhyu-a. As painful as it feels I don't regret it.

• Whoa. Now I'm curious to know who this fantastic person is. To make you leave Yuri-sshi she has to be one of a kind. I can understand why Hyukjae is so curious.

• Hyukjae said that?- Donghae asked his voice suddenly anxious. Interesting. It seemed like Donghae wanted to let Hyukjae out.

• Sort of. But I think everyone would be curious to know. I too am.

• Sorry to disappoint you but this is the only thing I have no intention to tell you.

• I bet Siwon knows

• No.

• why so secretive hyung, it's not like you

• I think I have the right to have a secret too. You have tons why me not?

• Secretiveness doesn't suit you

• There's always a first time.

• I don't' understand...if you like this someone aren't you going to purchase her? So eventually we will all know.

• Who said I will do it?

• You are not?

• It's complicated. It was not supposed for me to love this person.

• Love hyung?

• Crap!

Donghae covered his mouth with a hand like he had said the worst curse ever. His eyes dilated in fear.

• Donghae it's ok. I won't ask any further. If you feel like you can't, you can't. And we are all going to accept that.

Donghae nodded but he seemed not even a bit relaxed. Kyuhyun dropped the topic and started blubbering about something else.

Later that evening he kept thinking about what Dognhae said to him. Donghae seemed scared. Scared to found himself possibly in love, and scared that some could find out. The truth apparently was so unbearable that not even Hyukjae was supposed to know. Donghae admitted he was in love with someone he was not allowed to. And he was so upset that he had to broke up with his girlfriend to live better with himself. The only logical conclusion that he was loving someone they knew and maybe someone impossible to achieve for the circumstances of their relationship. Maybe he was in love of one of member's girlfriend. Currently in Suju the ones dating were Siwon and Donghee, the two were really close to Hyukjae, this being the only reason for Donghae to keep the silence. Kyuhyun tried to think about the times Siwon and Donghee's girlfriends meet with them and with Donghae in particular. But the more he thought about it the more it seemed ridiculous. Aish. Donghae could have trusted him and just told him. He would never judge him, not Donghae who was a sweetheart. But the fish decide to bare it all by himself. Kyuhyun asked himself till when Donghae was going to bare it all. It was too huge and he always in suppress feelings, he was the man of tantrums, it wasn't in him. He hoped Sungmin would soon find out the truth so they discuss the topic together. It wasn't gossip, he just couldn't bare the thought of Donghae suffering.

• Kyun-a! What are you doing here? It's so strange not finding you playing with your Xbox!- Kyuhyun lifted his gaze that he kept fixed into the wall for who knew how long.

• Just thinking.

Sungmin arched a brow but didn't comment. It wasn't random that Sungmin and Hyukjae got along so well. They were kind of similar in character, they have this cold aura around them but at the same type they had a friendly attitude. Sungmin maybe was a little better in showing affection but only towards his cherished ones.

• Anyway today it was really awkward- Sungmin added making a face.

• Mmm what happened?- Kyuhyun asked but only giving him half of his attention.

• I was with Donghae after practice and during our way towards the cafeteria we just bumped in Yuri-sshi.

all the attention of Kyuhyun refocused on Sungmin.

• so...?- Kyuhyun said trying to not betray his curiousness.

• No need to be so secretive Kyun-a, Donghae told me everything, you know it was kind of impossible not notice that something was really wrong.

• Oh thank god! I really wanted to talk with you about it Min!

Sungmin chuckled sitting on his bed in front of Kyuhyun.

• If you say it like that it seems like we are gossiping about our members love life.

• It's not gossiping it's called reflecting and it's all for Donghae's benefit. You know how he takes things always in the wrong way.

• Donghae is a big boy you have to give him more credit, after all he is your hyung.

• Yeah maybe, but I can't stop worrying about him.

• You are worse than Hyukjae!

• Hard to be, the monkey is far more worried than me, he came to me asking for information.

• Wait, let's go in order. What do you know about all this?

• I know Donghae broke up with Yuri-sshi but nobody knows the actual reason. Well its' not exactly true, we know the reason apparently he has feelings for someone else and it's somehow something really unwanted and Donghae is taking it really bad. Oh and Hyukjae has no idea who this person is, because apparently it's too horrible for Donghae to confess the identity of his new crush, even to his best friend.

• Wow. That's a lot. I only knew that he broke up. He really didn't tell me exactly why and I didn't have the heart to ask him, he was was so upset when he faced Yuri-sshi! This is kinda..

• problematic?

• Yes, to say the least. Does Hyukjae really not know who the new person is?

• He has no clue. He came to ask me Sungmin. It never happened before, he's always so territorial about Donghae but he asked nonetheless.

• Again wow. I wonder what made Dognhae taking this for himself...- Sungmin asked, falling deep in thought. If there was someone who had a high chance to discover the truth that was Sungmin. He knew them both really well and unlike Hyukjae he was enough objective to no let his emotion blur the truth.

• I bet you already figure it out- Kyuhyun stated chuckling.

• Not at all. But I have some hypothesis.

• Do you mind to share?

• I think it's really not the case.

• Hyung you are cruel, I would die of curiousness!

• Didn't you say you were worried about Donghae?

• Yeah whatever!

• Khyun-a! Anyway you can figure it out by yourself!

• I thought about it but my hypothesis seem ridiculous!

• Don't' stress yourself too much, this is those two issue. We should probably let them be.

• Maybe you are right. But I don't like it. Who in his right mind will let those two handle it by themselves?

• Just have faith Kyuhyun! I think Hyukjae will handle this well!

• Hyukjae? I thought we were talking about Donghae...

Sungmin smiled mysteriously making Kyuhyun frustrated. Damn his hyungs.

Hyukjae couldn't help but to think about Donghae. The latter was always a constant of his life but never before he was so overwhelming. Well maybe that time when Donghae's father died, but that time Donghae relied completely on him. Now it was the opposite. Donghae was purposely hiding something from him. So he asked Kyuhyun to think about it and asked Siwon to take a look on Donghae because he was the one who had the most activities with his best friend. Yes he could be easily considered a control mania, but the truth was he was pissed about Donghae's behaviour and he was determinate to find the truth and when he would find out he was going to tell that fishy there was no ing reason to be embarrassed. Not with him. And maybe I will kick him in the head just to make the concept penetrate in his stupid brain. Yes he was really pissed. Whoever was this person Hyukjae just knew that there was no way Donghae couldn't stand a chance. I will convince this person too.

That afternoon he couldn't practice with Donghae so after his schedule finished he went to Sm building with the intention to take Donghae out with him. Donghae needed a break and Hyukjae was going to make him have fun. So he texted Donghae before hand, adding in the text that he wouldn't accept a no as an answer, and just waited for him outside the changing room.

• Hyuk you could have wait for me in the park- said Donghae with a smile. Hyukjae noticed that that smile didn't reach his eyes. And that was a real pity because there was nothing more beautiful than Donghae's smile.

• Just making sure you weren't going to sneak out using your tiredness as an excuse to go back to the dorm and sulk.

• I really am tired- Donghae replied slightly pouting. How come Hyukjae managed to read him so easily without even trying too hard? Donghae had to put all his effort to decipher Hyukjae but Hyukjae seemed to get him like it was the most natural thing to do. I wonder how I didn't' notice before how well we match. Or maybe I noticed I just never thought before there could be room for romance. Gosh. Stop Dognhae. It will never happen.

• Stop whining, I'm taking you out for dinner, my treat!

• Really, your treat?

• You say it like it's something extraordinary!

• It is. You are stingy like hell.

• I'm not.

• Whatever you say monkey. I hope you are prepared because I'm going to empty your wallet.

• Yeah, let's go- Hyukjae said sighing but still passed an arm on Donghae shoulders, like he had the need to stay in contact with him, like Donghae was going to slip through his fingers any possible moment. Maybe I'm over thinking. But he squeezed Donghae's shoulder just to reassure himself. Donghae smiled bitterly asking himself like something so sweet could make him feel so unsettled.

They went in a cosy restaurant where Hyukjae and him used to eat when they still were trainees. Donghae didn't hesitate to order all the food he could possibly eat making Hyukjae cringe a bit but Dognhae seemed to enjoy the foof so much that he swallowed his and just let him eat how much he wanted. Still when he went to pay he couldn't stop himself to shade a tear. ing Donghae's stomach.

• Whoa... I'm so full.

• I bet, you stuffed yourself like a turkey.

• It' s not my fault It was all so delicious- they were walking slowly in the streets near the restaurant not really wanting to go back to the dorm despite being late.

• Thanks Hyuk- Dognhae said and Hyukjae knew it wasn't only for the food.

• How was it today?- Hyukjae couldn't help but ask.

• It could be better but I bet it could be worse too- Dognhae replied. There was a silence and Hyukjae thought it was better to not interrupt it. In fact Dognhae then added- I met with Yuri in the hallways of Sm building.

Hyukjae squeezed his hand. He wasn't the man of skinship but all those years with Dognhae tought Hyukjae to be more affectionate, besides body contact seemed to calm Donghae every single time and Hyukjae just wanted to make him feel at ease. He wasn't the perfect best friend but he would never stop trying Donghae.

• It was ok. Well it was awkward but we face it maturely. Yuri is really a great woman.

• Donghae can I ask you something?- Hyukjae asked hesitating. They stopped in the middle of the side walk.

• Of course.

• I know you don't want to tell me who this person is... but I can't help but being curious... can you at least describe her more? For you to give up so much... you know it makes me nearly jealous.

Donghae laughed wholeheartedly. If you knew.

• If you insist...

Donghae paused a moment trying to recollect his thoughts. He was used to tell everything to Hyukjae but that was the only thing he really couldn't tell. However he really did wanted to talk about it even for once because he never had the chance and he knew he will never have one. Hyukjae didn't know a thing so it couldn't hurt to just tell him something to quiet him a little. Only this once.

• This person is...well is not perfect. Not all. She is stubborn, short tempered and a little cold on the outside. You can say she isn't the nicest one. However she can be really sweet without even trying and her smile is enough to make this world better. Of course she is attractive too. Maybe a bit too much for my liking- Donghae concluded trying to joke.

• Dognhae I think I never hear you talk about someone like that. How can you not pursue this person. Donghae, this is lov...

• Impossible. This thing of mine, whatever it is... it's totally one sided.

• You can't really know.

Donghae stared at him for a long time, so seriously that Hyukjae feared he would blush under his intense gaze and it was ridiculous because it was Donghae, only Donghae.

• Hyukjae stop arguing. This is impossible like or more than Heechul's relationship with Hangeng.

Hyukjae froze for a moment not really understanding the comparison. Donghae regretted to have mention them. I'm really stupid.

• Don't mind me. I'm talking nonsense. Now can we go back to the dorm?

• Sure no problem- replied Hyukjae still perplexed.

What was that for? Why Donghae brought out Heechul? They never talked about it after that one time when the accident just happened. They proceed in silence towards the place he parked the car,

Hyukjae deep in thought. He knew the truth was under his eyes. He just knew. Anyway whatever it was, it was clear that Dognhae was completely and definitely in love.

Just as much as he was completely and definitely jealous.

And confused.

Author's note: I apologize >.< it took me a while to finish this chapter, but here it is! Hyuk is almost there..! XD hope you enjoyed, please comment, subscribe and upvote! And THANK YOU for your messages of support! Now I'm completely healthy! ^_^ I love you <3

ps: I had to post the song that helped me to finish this!