Too little, too much

there's no logic Ok?

If there's something I learned about love is: there's no logic at all.

You drive me crazy most of the times, you know.

With your bad habits, with your nagging, and with all that nonsense you insist to find reasonable. it's so frustrating to love it all nonetheless.

Ha ha.

Donghae asked himself how the heck did they arrived to this point. With the concert scheduled for the day after tomorrow, this should be the last of his thoughts: a great performance- possibly not limping on the stage- was the most important thing in the world. Yes Hyukjae was apparently being reasonable. C'mon who wanted him to fool? Hyukjae's reason had nothing to do with that but with their current relationship, if they could call it like that.

Of course Hyukjae thought the solution was neglecting him.

They barely kissed anymore.

Let alone touch.

The moronic thing it was that Hyukjae was having even more trouble than him to restrict himself however he did it nonetheless. Idiotic monkey.

“Just for a while” he stated once and he didn't add anything more.

Till when? Days, weeks? Months?Donghae wanted to whine in frustration but whatever reply he had, just died down his throat when Jungsoo hyung creeped from behind Hyukjae's shoulder to call them for practice.

Donghae was always teased to be silly and a bit slow but even he knew this new phase could ruin their relationship. For once he hoped to be over reacting like always, but for Hyukjae to act like that.... He tossed his shoes in a corner of his room. Since it started the prohibition Donghae now was always sleeping in his room, alone. And it was normal and It was ok but then during the night he would woke up and miss a warmness he knew shouldn't longing. Since when? Since when even his body's function revolved around Hyukjae's presence? It was late in the night but he couldn't care less, Heenim could kill him once he came back (with the hope he would forgot for around that time). It was his only option because it wasn't like he could talk to his bestfriend, since he was the problem.

“Dognhae I'm going to hang up in 10 seconds if you don't have a very vital reason to be awaking me 2 am in the morning, for god's sake, I'm on duty tomorrow.

“Hyung.”

“ Just speak fishy brat”

“ It's hyukjae”

“ I'm hanging up”

“ C'mon hyung. I know you were still awake. Duty or not you still have the habit to wander in the night when it rains”

“ You are lucky to be my favorite dongsaeng”.

“ I know” Donghae couldn't help but giggle. He knew he was being selfish and a big pain in the , but with whom could he talk? With Kyunyun? God no. Even I am not that stupid.

“What did the monkey do this time? Your calls are getting more dramatic day by day”

Donghae sighed. He got this habit to call Heechul whenever he had something bugging him about his love life with Hyukjae. At first it was funny even though embarrassing like hell ( Heechul even went far to suggest lube brands) but now it was getting kind of dark.

“I still don't know how you managed to make it work Hangenge hyung without us noticing”

“Because I'm awesome. And by the way it didn't work too well, if you remember he's in China right now”

Donghae felt like immediately.

“Dognhae just spill it” Heechul started again not making him think further.

“He's neglecting me. Hyukjae is neglecting me”

He had to take the phone away from his ear because Heechul started to laugh like a maniac.

It went on for a while in which Dognhae asked himself why he was calling this hyung of his

“Have you done?”

“Oh Donghae you are so cute!”

“ I'm 26 hyung.”

“ But you still are.

“ Yaa stop teasing me!”

“ Ok my dear dongsaeng why is the anchovy neglecting you?”

“ I don't' know but it started after our conversation with Kyuhyun and Sungmin hyung.

“ Ah.” Heehcul simply commented and Donghae couldn't help but feel scared by the tone.

“Donghae it's pretty normal I guess.”

“ What if he's giving up hyung?” there it was, the 10 million dollars question. It went around and around in his head since Hyukjae started to neglect him. What if Hyukjae decided it was not wort it trying and was simply put up with him till he could think of a better way out?

“Do you hear yourself when you speak Donghae?”

“ I do. And I'm ashamed to think of Hyukjae like that. Btu I'm an imperfect adult and I can't help being afraid too. “

“Donghae. You know that monkey like no other in this world. There's only one reason he would ever act like a complete idiot. And it's when it's related to you.”

Donghae exhaled. It was true. But still.

“You really are a couple of idiots you know. And I thought Hangeng was the foolest one that time but you beat him!” it was the first time Heechul directly pronounce the name of Chinese man. “Listen you just have to calm down. The both of you. Hyukjae was always even more drama king than you, he was only more quiet about it and so he fool everyone in believe he was the mature one But you and I know he's not, that he's actually a fragile puppy. So just let him, for now. He will drown in his own trick the idiot. When he'll realize his idiocy don't let himself feel guilty just show him the right way.”

Dognhae asked himself if he could ever be able to carry their relationship with the right amount of silence and affection, since he was the first one to be a complete.

“And If I'm not able to find balance for us?”

“Then maybe you are not ready for this love Donghae.”

It hurt. Like hell. But Heechul was deadly right.

He sighed. When he thought things were going smooth, they had another obstacle to overcome. He thought about Hyukjae, his bestfriend. His gummy smile, the shape of his eyes, the touch of his fingers and that sense of being in his right spot in the order of the world only just staying by his side.

“Donghae, I believe in you. You'll find a way” Heechul concluded.

Donghae thought, not for the first time, that behind eccentricity there was an ocean of emotions and kindness.

“Thank you hyung”

“ Aish! Now go to sleep fishy! Look what you are making me doing! I'm becoming your stupid couple therapist. I swear I will beat you the both of you to death when I come to visit you! Idiot Eunhae”

“Ok hyung, thank you for everything! Goodnight!”

“Yes whatever, I know you'll call again for another drama crisis. Aish. Night!”

Donghae hang up, smiling. Heechul was such life improver with his funny talking.

He laid on his bed trying to reflect upon Heechul's words and above all, upon a way to win Hyukjae, the most stubborn among men.

Ok maybe he didn't exactly have a brilliant idea, Hyukjae thought when it came the time to rehearsing their song. It was hard to get a grip of himself during practice. It was hard. But now that they were on stage it seemed nearly impossible. Furthermore their choreographer and director thought it would be y for them to reap their clothes to the end of the song, you know, for the sake's of the show and happiness of the fans. Hyukjae wanted to just go and drown himself. Donghae the er probably knew Hyukjae was losing his resolution and winked to him.

If only the fishy knew!

He took his conversation with Sungmin seriously and based on what the elder said, or not said, it was like everyone in Superjunior was near to find out except -maybe- their leader. With the members so close due to the concert, Hyukjae wanted to play safe and not dig their own grave if possible, at least when they were directly under their leader's eyes.

Sigh. The last time he kissed Dognhae was that morning and didn't satisfied him at all. It was short and rushed because then Ryewook entered shouting Hyukjae's room to hurry them up.

Damn. Were always that tight Donghae's stage pants?

He wiped the sweat from his forehead with a towel as a flashback of their nights flashed in his mind. Holy . Why should it be so hard? Am I doing it wrong?

An arm fell heavily on his shoulder. Hyukjae yelped.

“Relax Hyukjae, it's only me” said contently Kyuhyun “and stop staring at Donhae's , it's gross”

He then added teasingly. Stupid maknae.

Hyukjae hit him with his elbow in the ribs gaining a satisfying ouch from Kyuhyun's part.

“That hurt”

“ I'm glad” he replied with a gummy smile.

Kyuhyun snorted but then said: “ so, how is Eunhae doing lately?”

“Shush Kyuhyun! They can hear you!” and saying that, he looked from left to right to see if anyone had heard them. Luckily they were all minding their own business.

“Hyukjae, I used to ask you the same thing 3 months a go and you didn't' react like that!

“Maybe because now is kind of real you know. And please let's talk about this privately. Wait no. let's not talk about this, please.

“You are worse than a pms woman and I thought Donghae was the one like that. I should have known you were equally idiot.

“Kyuhyun I swear one of these days I'll suffocate you with your own pillow during your sleep”

“Hyung I'm only saying you are too selfconcious”

Hyukjae sighed because what Kyuhyun was saying was something a part of him knew and Donghae told him something similar, not too far from yesterday.

“ Hyuk really, aren't you a bit too much?

“ Maybe. But we are in the middle of the concert preparations, after Sungmin and Kyuhyun's talk I just want for us to be prudent.”

“And you thought that stop whatever interaction between us was the solution.” Donghae asked him clearly perplexed.

“It's not like that” he replied and there was a lot more he wanted to say but didn't' know how to formulate but Donghae, like always, seemed to feel him even though he didn't understand what were his reasons.

It was Donghae's turn to sigh and it was happening a lot recently. Really sighing didn't suit Donghae.

“I will go along with you for now Hyuk. But I just want you to understand, there isn't a solution to this”.

Unless we separate. Donghae seemed to have kept that silent and his pained face expression said it all. Hyukjae knew what Donghae was implying, you can fix a relationship but resolve. Resolving was for problems. Was their relationship becoming a problem?

“Please just for now, till the end of the concert”Hyukjae demanded with all the affection he was able to put in his tone.

Donghae nodded but Hyukjae knew he was only coping with him, with his sense of fearsome. The truth was Hyukjae couldn't bear the thought of losing it all because they weren't careful.

“Sometimes I forget how sweet you are Hyuk” Donghae concluded like he had read his mind.

Hyukjae shook his head.

“ Please Kyuhyun, I don't need for you to become my love therapist thank you so much.

“ Hell no. But I'm afraid you got our conversation wrong Hyuk. I'm sorry for that” and the maknae really meant it. Because Kyuhyun was an obnoxious brat but a brat attached to his hyungs like a koala to a tree, even though he hid that under layers of sarcasms and teasing.

“No. it's just... No.”

However their conversation was interrupted by Jungsoo hyung who called them. Hyukjae eyed Donghae who stared back at him with a faint smile that died when Hyukaje didn't approach him as always, choosing instead to stick by Siwon. In another occasion he would easily throw and arm across Donghae's shoulders. But in that moment, he just didn't dare.

After that Donghae was so professional to be nearly frightening.

“Sungmin hyung!”

Of course it wasn't Kyuhyun who was shouting his name because first, Kyuhyun would never add hyung if not in tv broadcast maybe and second, he had other dongsaengs aside from him, who were equally demanding and one of them was Donghae.

It was the day before their concert and they were supposed to sleep and rest but however no one seemed to want to sleep or be able to. Donghae had managed to drag him at a convenience store with the excuse of a midnight snack, when in reality he wanted to interrogate him.

“Did you and Hyukaje talk?” Donghae asked while he seemed to battle himself between popcorn or chips.

“Yes we talked” he said. Sometimes Sungmin thought he was living a cheap drama.

“And? C'mon hyung don't be secretive I bet you expected me to ask you!”

“ What about my I don't want to interfere you didn't understand?”

“ You already did, so now go along” replied Dognhae chirpily, as he resolved in buying chips.

Sungmin sighed internally.

“I guess you are right. Anyway we didn't talk all that much but Hyukjae wanted to know who I was suspecting was close to find out”

“ I knew it! That paranoid monkey!” Donghae said as he clutched the sack of chips a bit too strongly. “ Don't tell me you made him a list!”

“ I didn't. But he already was convinced everyone knew. There was nothing I could do to persuade him.”

“ I think he got it too seriously hyung. Too seriously. He's neglecting me in every way”

Sungmin cringed because never was his intention to have such an influence in his dongsaeng's relationship but there was something he had to say.

“I'm afraid is serious, Hae”

“ enough for him to end our relationship hyung?”

“ what? No! I didn't talk to you having in mind this, but the exact opposite” Sungmin frowned because why with those two all seemed to get twisted?

“I wished he had talked to me before.” Donghae stated.

“ If there's someone who can cope with him, it's you Donghae.”

“You all seem to think I have the key to Hyukjae's world but the truth is even I don't know how to handle him sometimes”

“You will probably snap, You will fight, shouting your reasons and than after such a drama you'll make up meeting halfway. Eunhae works like that.” Sungmin said chuckling, realizing how true it was.

“ I hope it will end like that”

“Or more just Hyukjae will get so frustrated to go and get you”

“you are spending too much time with the maknae hyung”

Sungmin laughed even though maybe he should reconsider his choice of pals. Last thing he knew he would end becoming a game addicted like Kyuhyun.

“anyway why do you said 'all'?” Asked Sungmin as he watched Donghae grabbing strawberry milk that was clearly not for him. It seemed like Dognhae couldn't miss the chance to do something for Hyukjae even in time like those.

“Ah well Heechul!”

Sungmin was left speechless.

Kyuhyun was right, Heechul knew! But how come?

He heard the door of the dorm open and then close and someone go towards the room across his, probably Sungmin coming back from his night stroll with Donghae.

Donghae who didn't tried to touch him even once that day. Well he did the same but oh it hurts. He felt guilty and ashamed.

He had a concert to held the next day but sleep didn't want to come to him. He kept thinking about his ed up situation and Donghae, Donghae's hands on his skin, Donghae's eyes in the peak of the moment and the sensation of his lips on his body and the simple presence of his weight beside him. He had to resist till the end of the concert. But then he cringed at the idea of numerous concerts they still needed to held. “there's no solution to this Hyuk” unless...

He didn't' know when he fell asleep, but that night he dreamt of heated kisses, of fingers running down his spine and of submitting to a force that grabbed him tightly from his thighs and pounded into him hard into the mattress making him feel a pleasure never felt before and the sensation of being claimed and belong.

“Hyukjae”

He woke up suddenly, covered in sweat, his breath erratic.

He blushed furiously as he realized he was till hard and needy.

It was the first time he dreamt of being taken, and not taking, by Donghae.

Oh God.

Author's note: I know I'm being cruel, but I swear in the next chapters you will adore me! XD I Sometimes I think Eunahe is amusing and I enjoy too much to mess with Hyukjae's mind. It's all for the best! ;) thank you for your lovely comments, they never miss to make my day ( ahh I work too much!!)!