warning: first editing.

1. Once upon a time

You cannot label a feeling. You cannot label love.

If it were possible, then love would be simple. Then, it would be safe. But love is never simple. It simple exists.

You can fight against it. You would loose.

You can try keep it secret. You would go crazy.

In the end you give up and admit it. And you cry because it's not fair, because truth doesn't set you free but crash you down. Life is a . Life betrayed you in the worst possible way: it makes you fall in love but at the same time  it makes for you impossible to live your love.

.

One of the things Donghae enjoyed the most was stand up early and sneak into the apartment below to wake up the others members. Of course he would put a particularly effort in waking up his best friend Hyukjae.

He would tip toed till his room, opened quietly and be welcomed by a sight fans would pay to see. Because no matter how much Hyukjae would denied it, the cuddler between the two was without any doubt the monkey and not him. Sometimes they slept in the same bed, and even though Donghae was the one who would initiate the hugs, Hyukaje was the one who finalized it all. Because Donghae was a messy sleeper and he ended always sleeping in weird positions and poses, his arms and legs plastered in strange angles over the mattress. But somehow he would found himself embrace in a koala hug everytime he slept with Hyukjae. Once he went near to be chocked in his sleep. Hyukjae was so embarrassed that time that he refused to share a bed for about a month. Donghae called this habit of his “the hug syndrome”, and he found it unbearable cute. Kyuhyun, their sweet maknae, took several pictures of the two with the intention of blackmailing the dancer. But then Kyuhyun's laptop mysteriously took a bug, much for Kyuhyun's desperation, and so the photos were never mentioned again. Well at least he conserved one in his cellphone: he convinced Kyuhyun to leave to him one, only for his personal use of course, before the maknae was forced to delete them all. Donghae used to look at it whenever he felt down and it never failed to make at least smile a bit. Hyukjae face was priceless.

Like the one he was sure to find beyond the door.

There he was. Hyukjae bracing the pillow, the blankets wrapped all around him like a cocoon. Donghae sneaked into the blankets, hugged him from behind and kissed Hyukjae on the back of his neck. Hyukjae jerked violently like he was hit by a thunder. Donghae laughed like every damn time.

• Hyukkie wake up- Hyukjae ignored him and tried to free himself from the undesired embrace, kicking purposely Donghae legs in the process.

Donghae tightened the hug.

• When you move like that, you seriously seem a struggling anchovy .

Hyukjae stopped struggling abruptly and grunted.

• Dong...hae.. ng...I'm going to kill you...

• You said it the other day but I'm still alive- he said giggling.

• Whatever- the dancer said, remaining still with all the intention to drift again in dreamland. Donghae knew Hyukjae was tired due to the schedule that was tighter than his, but he had to wake him up. Or he would have to face a pissed Heechul that now that he was going to enrol was more nervous than ever. Well at least with the other members.

• You have schedule with Heechul hyung- Hyukjae ignored him again.

• If you don't wake up I'm going to use my ultimate weapon.

And without giving him time to react he started to tickle his bestfriend. Hyukjae nearly fell from the bed.

• Ok ok ok, stop. I give up- Hyukjae said breathless. He stood up slowly still half asleep- god Donghae I hate you- he mumbled while going towards the bathroom. Donghae giggled.

Donghae decided to go back to his dorm and dress himself properly and maybe do breakfast with the ones below so he could torment Hyukjae a bit more.

He stood up and exited the room just to meet a full awaken Kyuhyun wandering through the dorm.

• Morning! Waking up Hyukjae?

• Yes!- Donghae said with a grin.

• And they say I'm the evil one- Kyuhyun commented smirking.

• I'm not evil, I'm just helping a friend to not being murdered.

Kyuhyun arched a brow interrogatively.

• Hyukjae has schedule with Heechul hyung. You know how he gets when they make him wait.

• A total - said the voice behind him. There he was his bestfriend yawning and still in his pijamas.

• You didn't change?

• Too hungry I want to eat first.

Kyuhyun stared at Hyukjae:- if only the fans would see you right now...

• If you dare to take a picture this time it won't be only your laptop.

Kyhyun raised his hands in defeat following Hyukjae in the kitchen. But Donghae could hear murmuring things like PMS syndrome, and lunatic ert.

Donghae smacked him in the head lightly, making Kyuhyun scream in fake pain. He then directed his puppy eyes in Donghae's direction. Yes because the maknae knew how to use aegyo.

• Stop it, I know that expression better. I was the one teaching you that!- Donghae said still giggling.

Kyuhyun laughed and run to seat at the kitchen's table like a kid waiting for his candies.. No matter how many years has passed “ you will always be a bunch of kids” Jungsoo said every time they came to him to whine over something.

They managed to prepared breakfast quickly, maybe because Ryewook had the habit for years now, to cook something the night before and let food in store for them if he wouldn't be able to wake up earlier than the others. Donghae would always found it creepy. Kyuhyun once suggested that Ryewook probably hid tons of food under his mattress ready for them. They all laughed like no tomorrow, Donghee falling from the chair. The next day Kyuhyun breakfast was too salty and Sungmin had to divide his with him. Kyuhyun needed seriously to control his tongue, thought Donghae not for the first time. But well the maknae would never change.

They chatted happily while eating, discussing over their schedule.

• so Kyuhyun why are you up so early?- Donghae asked him.

• Have you forgotten? I have to go to the radio.

• Oh sure.

• You have to forgive him Kyu, now that he has a girlfriend he doesn't remember even s' names.

• Yahh, Hyukkie!

The two were smirking making fun of him

• You are only jealous because I have a beautiful and caring girlfriend.

• Sure hyung. If I want one I only have to snap my fingers. Nobody can resist my beautiful face and charming character.

• Kids this days like to daydream- commented Hyukjae in a joking manner.

• If I remember right Hyukjae, it has been ages from the last time you have a girlfriend.

• Only because I don't want one.

• If you say so- said a smirking Kyuhyun.

• Unfortunately he's right, Kyu. He's so awfully charming that he has more success than me with girls- said a voice from the door. It was Sungmin in his pink shocking pyjama.

• Thanks hyung- said Hyukjae giggling.

• It's not a praise monkey. Remember the girl they presented to us the other day and in who I was slight interested? Well he kept asking of you.

• Really?

• I hate you- said Sungmin sighing, while serving himself a bowl of white rice.

  True to be told it was like that. Donghae always thought Hyukaje was handsome, even when nobody agreed with him, he still thought. And the time and the girls outside proved him right and in the end all the members had to admit Hyukjae's handsomeness. Even though they would say the contrary on tv shows. Yes Hyukjae was not handsome in a Siwon way and he didn't have perfect facial features like Sungmin. But he needed only some minutes to talk and a chance to flash his gummy smile and the girls would drool over him. And if they gave him a chance to dance he would be way too handsome for everyone to compete with. It was nearly terrifying. The only one who could compete with him maybe was Jungsoo hyung, because as a leader he indeed has a lot of charm. And he was kind and he had manners. In the end every member had to pass to the irritating experience to have a girl they liked stolen by the monkey. The worst part it was that half of the times Hyukjae was never conscious of that. Donghae found it amusing. However despite all his charm Hyukjae's relationship would never last. Even Donghae, that due to his childish behaviour was dumped more than once, had relationships that lasted longer. Donghae always ended up consoling him for the hundredth relationship went wrong. Because Hyukjae despite his Casanova vibe was really a romantic guy and had the tendency to fall in love easily. Donghae sighed. He hoped that one day Hyukjae would  find his other half. Sometimes he thought it would have been a lot better if at least one of them would have born as a girl. They would be a great couple. But then they would never meet as superjunior members and they would never shared all the brotherly moments they had during the suju years.

• So are you going to see your girlfriend tonight?- Hyukjae asked him. Distracting him from his thoughts.

• Uh? oh yes, tonight I have a date. I have only a photo shoot today, you know for that mini drama I'm going to film.

• Oh. I was hoping we would have time to eat together since in don't have to work till late...well next time.

• You could have told me earlier, I would have planned better!

• Well I knew my new schedule only yesterday.

• You could have told me!

• It was nearly midnight.

• I would tell you.

• Donghae, stop whining early in the morning.

• I'm not whining. It's so rare for you to invite me outside and offering me a dinner.

• True. You are way too stingy Hyuk- murmured Kyuhyun who was clearing the table. Hyukjae glared at him but didn't comment.

• Well sorry if I wanted to let you sleep.

• You know I don't mind if you wake me up

• I mind. I would feel guilty to wake you for something like that.

• Are you saying our quality time as friends is not important?

• And this where it comes from?

• from you hyukjae you has just said it.

• Aish you are insane. I go. Heechul hyung is waiting for me.

• Yaa Hyukjae!

Hyukjae ignored him

“eunhae drama again” murmured Kyuhyun earning a killer glare from Sungmin who whispered “would you shut up, I want to remain alive.” Hyukjae used the distraction to sneak in his room.

• Hyukjae don't you dare to run! Face me!

• La la la , I don't hear you.

• Monkey!

Sbam! And it was all. Stupid monkey. Donghae thought before going back fuming to his dorm.

It was always like that between Dognhae and Hyukjae. They were bestfriends but they would argue a lot. The members lost the numbers of times they would quarrel like a married couple about every little thing. Most of the times were silly things but sometimes they would lead to other matters, because when Donghae got angry he had the habit to spill out everything was in his mind, while Hyukjae would stayed in silence apparently unaffected. Habit that would drove Donghae crazy all the times. During the first years of their friendship it was really hard. Donghae would always feel like a moody and pretending girlfriend with Hyukjae in the role of the insensitive boyfriend which was unfair because he was a world more manly. And that make him feel more irritated. One of their arguments back then became so serious that they didn't talk to each other for weeks, both too stubborn to apologize. They went really close to end their friendship. That time Donghae thought that their friendship was one sided. He wasthe one who would look for Hyukjae's company. He was the one clingy. He was the one openly caring. Hyukjae was reserved and never voiced his feelings: Dognhae began wondering if it was because there was nothing to voice. But eventually as they grew up and as they spent more and more time together. Donghae understood. Hyukjae was far from being insensitive. In fact he was a sentimental person who thought a lot about things, in the silence of his head. Maybe it was because he knew he's true self was an emotive wrack that he tried so hard to hide it all. So Donghae learnt, learnt to decipher his looks, the expression of his face, to dig in that mysterious mind of his. Hyukjae was too modest to disturb the others with his problems. He was not cold. He was too considerate. But people would always got the wrong guess so Hyukjae felt always misunderstood and more. Donghae tried his best to support him. Silently, with all the love of a friend. In the end they found an equilibrium. He accepted the fact that he would be always the one who would look for him. In exchange Hyukjae accepted all his craziness. Donghae knew he was not an easy one to handle. He would be moody, childish, clingy, got angry easily and suffered of lack of affection. Above all after his father's death his need of affection grew to the point to be unhealthy sometimes. Hyukjae accepted even that. They weren't perfect but they worked.

Even so they still quarrelled a lot but they would always make up after. That didn't stop Donghae from pouting and thinking about revenge . He giggled to himself.

• What is making you laugh?- Siwon asked him

He and Siwon that afternoon had a photo shoot together for their coming mini drama. Donghae was always happy to work with him. Siwon always gave a calm and soothing vibe that intertwined great with Donghae pure and simple character. Furthermore Siwon loved skinship even more than Donghae himself. He would never complain about manly hugs or pats, like Kyunhyun for example, who was comfortable only with Donghae and Sungmin. The first one because the maknae had a soft spot for Donghae and his face; and Sungmin because Kyuhyun was really fond of him.

• I'm thinking about how getting revenge on Hyukjae- He said smiling.

• Ha ha ha! Did you fight again?

• He needs to get disciplined!

• Do you need any help?- Donghae smirked. He and Siwon were also the devious couple that would always tease Hyukjae.

• Maybe, I let you know.

Siwon smiled widely.

• Anyway after this are you going to see your girlfriend?

• Shh they could hear you- Donghae said. Theoretically they were not allowed to date. But as long as they were discrete SM entertainment would close an eye. Despite that his girlfriend worked in the company so it was easy for the two of them to meet and not look suspicious. Anyway there were a lot of journalist in the photo shoot so it was vital to talk quiet.

• Sorry....anyway... are you?

• Yes we will meet later, it's all settled!- he replied happily.

• How long have you been dating?

• We passed half an year.

• It seems to proceed well.

• I guess.

• Say hi for me to Yuri noona

• I will.

• At least you are improving your Chinese!

• Not only that!

• Hyukjae definitely corrupted you!

They laughed loud together. Yes she was dating their interpreter.

Yuri was a fine and caring woman. Donghae felt lucky. She gave him exactly what he lacked. He was supportive, sweet but never subsided to all Dognhae's wishes. That was good, because Donghae needed someone who wasn't afraid to go against him. A bit like Hyukjae.

He came back to the dorm tired but satisfied, a smile plastered on his face.

• why so happy ?- asked a voice coming from the couch. It was Hyukjae. But it was not only him. The dorm was more lively than usual. Kyuhyun was playing with the Xbox with Shindong.He could hear from the kitchen sounds of chatting, the twinkle laugh of Sungmin, the sooth voice of Ryewook and the blabbering of Yesung. Donghae smiled, his irritation towards his best friend evaporated in the thin air.

• I have to thank Yuri noona, I was afraid you would be still angry with me.

• I was. But I can't get angry every time you are a jerk or I would never stop getting angry.

• Like you were an angel, fishy.

• Kyuhyun says so.

• Kyuhyun has a soft spot for your handsome face and he will forgive you all.

• I know I'm the second most beautiful man in Korea.

• Whose the first?

• You of course.

Hyukjae laughed but he still blushed like everytime Donghae would say that. What was he saying earlier? Hyukjae was not cold only way too modest.

• Anyway why are all of you here?- Donghae asked.

• Jungsoo hyung was making his special ramyung for all of us, you know how it's rare!

• Yahh it's not fair while he did it while I was out!- he yell enough loud for the leader, who in the kitchen too, to hear. However he was immediately shushed by Kyuhyun who murmured “ you are distracting us, I'm playing here”.

• I stored a bowl for you- Hyukjae said trying to calm him down.

• You are the best friend ever- and he tackled him on the couch. Hyukjae was always like that. He scolded him 24/7 and pretended to find him annoying. Than he did things like that and Donghae would melt every time.

• Ouf Hae you are heavy- Donghae tightened his hug because he knew that those words were only spilled out because his best friend was embarrassed.

• Are you saying I'm fat?

• Maybe.

• Liar. It's all muscles.

• Whatever- Donghae laughed loudly; he felt Hyukjae relaxing and in the end he didn't push him away but reciprocated the hug. Donghae giggled.

• Guys stop with Eunhae, you are distracting me!- Kyuhyun commented never diverting his eyes from the tv screen.

• Made another excuse for the fact you are loosing! I'm destroying you man!- Shindong said laughing all happy.

Kyuhyun cursed when it was obvious he was deadly defeated.

• I want a re match! I didn't master still the game that's why I lost!

• Next time! Now we are going to watch a movie!- Sungmin said approaching them. Kyuhyun wanted to protest but a glare from his blonde room mate and he preferred stay in silence.

• And you two, make room in the couch for the others- Sungmin said patting gently Donghae's back. Donghae lifted himself from Hyukjae. Jungsoo came back with a pile of dvd from his room and after some discussions they decided for a romantic comedy because the other choices brought to much disagree. In the end Donghae felt asleep.

• Hey Donghae, Hyukjae. If you sleep here tomorrow you will have a bad backache, just go sleep in your rooms- said the kind voice of Jungsoo.

Donghae found himself sleeping on Hyukjae. He yawned and thanked their leader who nodded giving him a warm smile before going to his room. Donghae shook Hyukjae- Hyukkie let's go to sleep.

• hmm too lazy to go down in my room. I'm staying here- Hyukjae murmured.

• Waa monkey. You can always sleep in my room. C'mon you can't stay here on the couch. Hyukjae nodded and cracked his eyes open. Donghae lifted him from the arm and dragged him towards his room. Hyukjae followed him obediently. Once inside Donghae's room went directly towards dognhae wardrobe to take a shirt for sleeping. He undressed quickly himself and got into Donghae's bed. Donghae found him ultra cute and fought to suppress a laugh. He quickly wore his pyjama and joined his best friend. He spooned him like it was their habit, knowing that in the morning their positions would switch.

Donghae thought that they were going to drift immediately to sleep but Hyukjae murmered- things seem to go well between you and Yuri noona.

• Indeed.

• I'm glad.- Hyukjae said sincerely making Donghae smile.

• And you? How was your day with Heechul hyung

Hyukjae grunted- you know how is Heechul

• I thought you two started to bond after...

• yeah.- nobody in suju felt comfortable to remind all the Hangeng's issue. To remind Heechul face during those months. It was heartbreaking. Donghae knew he would reacted exactly like that if Hyukjae would ever leave superjunior. He didn't even want to think about that eventuality. He tightened his hug by reflex. Luckily Hyukjae was there for Heechul. He didn't say sweet words because he was not the type, but he managed to make feel to Heechul the sincerity of his concern. After that Heechul was able to recollect himself piece by piece and started to see Hyukjae in a new light. Once Heechul said to him “I can understand why you care so much for him. He's a monkey, but a monkey with a tender heart".

• Yes. Now we get along but I think all this military enrolment is starting to get in his head. He's more eccentric than ever.

• Isn't it a good sign that he's being himself again?

• He is crazy! Crazy!

Donghae laughed quietly. Hyukjae hit him in the stomach with his elbow. Donghae coughed but still laughed.

• Jerk.

• you know he's only a little scared.

• I know that's why I didn't push him under our van, and believe me, I really wanted to.

• So sweet of you.

• Hmm.

• Hope these days before his departure will go smoother.

• Me too- Hyukjae said sighing. Despite all Hyukjae got attached to Heechul to the extent he promised to take care of his cat, shocking all the members.

• Well what could go wrong?- Donghae asked.

• Hope nothing...I'm really sleepy now, night Hae.

• Good night Hyukkie.

• ...- hyukjae made himself comfortable in Donghae's embrace and soon they both fell asleep.

The days passed and the day of Heechul's departure approached . They were all a little nostalgic so no matter how eccentric Hecchul was in those days, nobody had the strength to get angry. Heechul tried to have alone time with every member because he hardly ever was in the dorm since he spent most of the time with his family.

Donghae was friend with Heechul since their trainees times so he wanted to spent all the time possible with him but preparing for their come back, the shooting and his girlfriend in the end drained all his energies. So it was not a surprise when a morning he woke up with high fever.

And it was even one of those rare chances when they have schedule together for tv broadcast. So he was beyond pissed.

• Donghae you are burning in fever, just stay here and be a good child,

• Don't wanna.

• You are really stubborn you know- Hyukjae said rolling his eyes but tucked in his sheets in a caring manner.

• Jungsoo hyung called our mangers and asked them for you to rest. So just rest. And I already texted Yuri noona that you are not feeling well. She said he will make you have some soup.

• Thanks eomma.

• Aish this kid

Donghae laughed but soon his laughs converted in coughs. Hyukjae caressed gently his hair. Donghae enjoyed the touch of his best friend.

• Lay here, big boy. See you tonight- Donghae nodded. Then he closed his eyes and drifted to sleep.

He woke up several hours later. He didn't knew at what times but judging from the light coming from the window maybe midday or early in the afternoon. He went towards the bathroom to pee, dragging his feet. He still felt a little week so it was better to took the medicine and come back quickly to his bed, he thought. He wanted to recover as soon as possible. Maybe it was his feverish state but he could swear he was hearing voices. But as far as he knew all the members had schedule. He went towards the source of noises. They were coming from the laundry room. He went closer tiptoeing. Three steps from that room he froze. There trough the glassed door was the most unexpected scene. “How the heck is He here?” but that was not the main question. The main question was: “what the were they doing?” Donghae hoped it was the fever, hoped it was an hallucination. Because in the laundry room there was Heechul. Making out with Hangeng.

AN: I made it! Yes! You don't have idea, I had a hard time in edit the first chapter, it's really important, it's an idly example of how were the things before... well you'll see! Eunhae is so new for me, I'm a new ELF... But I love those two too much to not write about them.

Hyukjae is my inspiration (I would seriously kick whoever says again that he's ugly, even for jokeXD). I adore him! Anyway hope to not disappoint you and THANK YOU to my subscribers. THANK YOU <3 I love you.

ps: please comment!!!^_^ make me happy!