For the last few chapters, I've been putting on Kim Junsu's 'Foolish Heart' and Kim Jaejoong's 'Healing for Myself' on repeat.

If you want to know what I was feeling while writing this, well, feel free to listen to them too. :)

Healing for Myself  and Foolish Heart.

and make sure to put on Kim Sunggyu's I Need You next! 

Woohyun-ah...

What is it?

A few hours after Eun-shil had fallen asleep, she started fidgeting, and it woke Woohyun up and as soon as he did, she started having a spasm and alarmed, Woohyun pressed for the doctors. He got off her bed, trying to wake her up but looking like she was still sleeping though her body was shaking badly, she never answered his call.

"Eun-shil-ah!!! Eun-shil!" He screamed, holding her shoulders, to try and wake her up from her sleep. "Eun-shil!!!"

The doctor brushed him aside and what felt like hours of standing at a side was only a few minutes of hell. Eun-shil was put on life-support and the doctor pulled Woohyun to have a talk with him.

"She had a ."

"..." The word seemed unreal. Why someone that young would have a , he asked, without actually saying it, looking at the doctor's face.

"She's having a blood clot in her brain." He explained further. "We're going to carry more tests to find out more about her condition."

Woohyun sat down beside her bed, holding her hand, kissing it and her forehead.

"Eun-shil-ah, I'm right here. So..." He choked, and tears fell. "I'm here."

After a few hours, the doctor came back with another news; she was longer breathing on her own. Only the life-support was keeping her alive but basically her brain was dead. Woohyun stared at the doctor, as if not understanding what he was saying.

"You can either keep her on the machine or take them off slowly. Either way, she won't wake up again."

Woohyun cried again. How was he supposed to make such decision?

What right did he have to let her suffer more by putting her on the machine but what right did he have to take her life away? He cried, devastated, not knowing of what to do while the doctor left him to have time to think.

When he stopped crying, he called up for Sunggyu. The first thing that Sunggyu did was only looking down on her, with his eyes dead and Woohyun thought probably that was the same face he was wearing. He got him to sit down and talk with him although both of them had least wanted to.

"Is there no way we can...make her recover?" Sunggyu asked, his voice was unlike himself.

Woohyun shook his head, his tears streaming down silently. Sunggyu held in his tears.

"I... I think it's not right to keep her on the machine anymore." He went on, choking back his tears. "I'm sure Eun-shil wouldn't want it."

Woohyun only nodded.

Even if Sunggyu hadn't told him so, he knew what he was going to do. He made a phone call to Howon who was sleeping and made him silent when he told him the news. He called a sister from the church as well and that was all. He told them his decision but they didn't say anything about it, asking Woohyun to be strong.

Sunggyu called his father; their father and when he showed up, Sunggyu couldn't even look at his face. Mr. Kim was weary, and he had never looked older. Woohyun looked at him angrily, wanting to ask why was he there after what had happened.

"Can I... Can I see her?"

Woohyun observed keenly the eyes that Mr. Kim had when he was asking him that. After a moment of doing so, he sat down without saying anything and Mr. Kim took a deep breath before entering the room. He saw her on the bed, the monitor beeping was too loud for him and when he sat down and watched her tranquil sleeping face, he cupped his face and started crying.

"I'm sorry... I'm really sorry..." He couldn't even touch her hand, afraid that he'd somehow tarnish her. "I'm sorry..." He had never thought he'd cry that badly, looking upon his own daughter whom he had failed to take care all her live. Regrets began settling down in his chest and he couldn't even bring himself to say that he was her father.

He had lost the right to call himself that.

Sunggyu could only watch his father breaking down in front of him and when he got up and saw Sunggyu, he didn't make the effort to wipe his tears  and walked pass him, mouthing 'I'm sorry'. Sunggyu went to sit beside Eun-shil, took her hand and smiled through his tears.

"Eun-shil-ah, it's Oppa." He said, looking at her face. "Can you hear me, um?" He caressed her cheek a bit. "Eun-shil-ah, I'm sorry I couldn't be a good brother to you. Instead I fell in love with you." He laughed, and cried even more. "You know, Eun-shil, I'm going to miss you so much. I'm going to miss your voice calling me 'oppa' and how we looked at the stars and tried to name them. I'll miss the song that you always play on the piano and how we'd play together. I'll miss seeing you sitting up on your bed, looking up the window and turned to me and smile... I'll miss you for being so nice to me even after I did something that I shouldn't. I'll miss you..." He sobbed. "Because I love you. I love you. I love you..."

He went on crying, not caring about his loud wail anymore. "So... In the next life, let's be born as lovers, oh? So that I can kiss you without hiding and I'll love you all my life. Okay, Eun-shil?"

He got up and kissed her forehead as long as he could, looking at her with teary eyes before he turned and shut his eyes, bit his lips in agony and went out of her room.

Woohyun entered the room when Sunggyu came out, without looking up to his teary face. He sat down and looked at her longingly. He touched her hand, which felt warm and it made him even sadder to think that it wouldn't last long.

"I had a dream." He began, smiling to himself. "I saw you... walking in front of me. I called for you and when you turned, you had the sweetest smile ever. Then you called me... Woohyun-ah..." His voice cracked. "I asked, what is it? And you smiled again and looked at me with your glistening eyes..." He paused and let tears streamed down his face. "And you said... I'll be going now. I asked you where were you going and you said... to where I could watch over you. I asked you... why not look after me here but then you shook your head and smiled... and you were only smiling... and then you said..."

He sobbed into her bed sheet, gripping it as his body shook badly. He looked up again and got on her bed, lay down beside her, with the gas mask still attached to her, and held her in his arms.

"I'm here... I'm here, Eun-shil-ah... So... Please... Watch over me... Oh?" His tears never stopped. "For being with me all this while, thank you, Eun-shil-ah... I love you, Eun-shil-ah... I will always love you... I will love you every day without fail... But I will live well... Of course... Because you'd hit me if I don't right? That's right... Because you'd always watch over me... But... Eun-shil-ah... Why... Why do you have to leave me... Why... Eun-shil-ah... Wake up... Please.... Wake up... Eun-shil-ah... Eun-shil!!!"

He wept badly as he rocked her torso, barely able to breathe as he kept on sobbing. "Eun-shil-ah... I love you... I love you... I love you... I love you..."

He spent three hours staying with her like that, until it was nearing dawn and his tears ceased. He eventually called for the doctor who asked him whether he